A Housewife will hawk just about anything! From cookbooks to hair care, these ladies are all about putting their name on a product. However, what about the stuff that they use before they put their names on something? When fans compliment these women on their hair or their skin or their donkey booty, the housewives got these from a particular product…and not one that they created themselves!
It's only after they are recognized for this attribute that some handler believes it's a good idea for said housewife to create her own line of butt-lifting underwear/press-on nails/horse shampoo/insert product here. Am I right? Let's take Lisa Hochstein from Real Housewives of Miami, shall we?
As we gear up for NeNe Leakes' second wedding to Gregg on I Dream of NeNe, the couple has a lot of issues to resolve before they walk back down the aisle. Between prenups and drama with Gregg's grown children, the couple certainly have some work to do with Dr. Jeff. Thankfully, NeNe and Gregg have a strong support group in their wedding party…or do they?
Both the Neenster and Gregg discuss their friends in their respective Bravo blogs, and Gregg expresses his appreciation to his "basement ballers" for standing by him as he works to get his family back together. NeNe writes, "My lunch date with some of my Atlanta Bridesmaids: This was supposed to be a Sex in the City lunch with my girls to celebrate my getting married again. Diana Gowins is a longtime girlfriend of mine with whom I've shared a lot. We have been really close over the years. I love her like a sister! We like to call her the protective one, the security, the gate keeper, and Miss Territorial because Diana always questions when someone new is around. She has an uncomfortable attitude when new people are introduced into our circle."
Real Housewives of New York'sAviva Drescher certainly hopes so, and she's penning a tell-all about her life in hopes of snagging herself a spot among the ghost writers who have made so many housewives into best selling authors.
Sorry, Tamra Barney, but Andy Cohen has a favorite housewife! Of course, it's Lisa Vanderpump, but I digress. NeNeLeakes is a close second, and she's remarrying ex-husband Gregg which is a story line made in Bravo heaven. It shouldn't come as a surprise that NeNe's wedding spin-off, I Dream Of NeNe, gets nearly a full season of episodes as opposed to a measly three.
To bring everyone up to speed as to why NeNe is re-marrying Gregg, NeNe must spend the first part of the show explaining why she "divorced his ass." Their fifteen year marriage, split, and rekindled romance is described in less than a minute. NeNe is getting adjusted to being back in Atlanta after an extended period of time in Los Angeles. She finds her original wedding program and dress, and NeNe and Gregg reminisce over their first walk down the aisle with their wedding video.
NeNe shares that forgiving Gregg's past behavior is a lot easier than forgetting it. She assures viewers that she wants everything to be different from the first go-round, and she isn't looking at this as a new wedding, but a new marriage. That's a plus! The couple spends time in Athens on their journey down memory lane, and they meet NeNe's aunt and godmother for lunch. NeNe's godmother reminds Gregg of a talk they had a year ago when he promised he'd get his family back.
Let's jump right in and get the absolute worst of it out of the way. Andy insisted on rehashing the stripper drama. Of course. We saw it all play out on TV – a penis (not Eddie's) in Tamra's ear and a boob (not Tamra's) in Eddie's mouth – and my eyeballs will never be the same.
Andy begged for all the tacky(Tamra's specialty) details.
Eddie said he was "blown away" over the penis to his wife-to-be's ear. Tamra shrugged it off, saying she certainly didn't enjoy it, unlike Eddie in Vegas. I refuse to talk about Eddie's boner again. Let's just say that Tamra's opinion of the incident definitely has not changed.
I bet y'all didn't think Bravo could effectively squish all of Tamra Barney and Eddie Judge's wedding insanity into three hours worth of Bravo fluff. Heck, if you're like me, you may be wondering how they managed to draw out Tamra's OC Wedding into three long episodes. Well, whatever your thoughts, I hope you soaked in all the Disney princess magic of last night's "limited series finale." I love what this network tries to make "a thing." Stop trying to make fetch happen, Bravo! Sorry, I thought a Mean Girls reference was the perfect wedding gift for Tamra, as she's the original Housewives version!
Tamra's poor wedding planner Diann Valentine is getting frustrated and freaked out by the bride-to-be. First of all, Tamra doesn't have the place settings finalized, and she informs Diann that her wedding dresses won't be delivered until the morning of the big day…which is in 72 hours. Tamra can't be bothered by Diann's worries because she's got an appointment at the Pretty Kitty to get her Britney waxed. She's a Brazilian virgin, y'all! I'm shocked! Accompanying Tamra on her big day are her mom and two gay friends. While her mom waits with a rented bridesmaid in the lobby, Ricky and Julius are in the waxing room helping contort Tamra's legs for the hair ripping festivities.
That evening, Tamra and Eddie's family and friends are gathering for an outdoor rehearsal dinner. True to form, Tamra's brother is in attendance with his Mason of moonshine. Heather Dubrow doesn't do "communal booze in a jar" but Terry and Vicki Gunvalson find it super tasty. Tamra corners her brother about a moonshine ban for the wedding day, and he reveals that they will be partying to celebrate her big day with Eddie. A tearful Kenny shares that Eddie brings out the best in Tamra, and she apologizes for torturing him during their childhood. After they hug and make amends, Vicki feels the need to make a teary toast which is thankfully interrupted by a drunken Terry's inappropriateness. "Tongue!" he cries as Vicki goes fawns over Tamra mere centimeters from her friend's face.
In her Bravo blog, Caroline addresses the multiple family bonding, therapy sessions, and misguided team-building exercises. It was so much more believable when these folks weren't getting along? How much more passive aggressiveness between Melissa Gorga and Teresa Giudice can the viewing audience take? Give us (and the poor therapy horse!) a break, Bravo!
The Manzo matriarch begins by stating the obvious, writing, "The past two episodes of RHONJ were pretty intense, wouldn't you agree? As promised, the viewing audience witnessed a few very real and emotional moments from cast members that you would least expect, my husband Albert being one of them. I'm not gonna lie, that knocked me for a loop, I wasn't expecting that at all."
Alexis Bellino…she'd be one of my favorites on Real Housewives of Orange County if she just wasn't so wishy-washy. While she's inadvertently hilarious with her one-liners and her sometimes holier than thou attitude, I feel like Alexis is finally learning the ropes. Latch onto the Alpha…and do it better than Gretchen Rossi did! We all know that Alexis has forged a deep friendship (at least in her naive and misguided mind) with Vicki Gunvalson, and she's convinced it's the real deal. Did she not watch the seasons before she started on RHOC? I do feel that Alexis tries her best to be genuine, and I hope for her sake that she is able to stay on Vicki's good side!
Of course, as she learns how to play the Bravo game, Alexis is also learning how to keep the media buzzing. Will she or won't she? Alexis is staying mum about whether she'll be returning for another season of RHOC. This all sounds strangely reminiscent, doesn't it?