Immediately we are transported to a deep underground tunnel of despair where Tamra is sitting at the head of the table deliberating over can stay and who can go. Lucky Alexis was plucked from group and exiled. Her angel wings spread and her golden halo glowed as she floated above the riff-raff into the parking lot. Gretchen Rossi clapped with glee as if the heathens were being eaten by lions in the Colosseum.
Lydia scampered after her; jumping on Starlite and flying towards the Tunnel of Light. Don't let them rob you of a colorful world! I would have taken off my shoes, hitched up my maxi dress, and ran screaming from that den of horrors up the delivery van loading dock and right into the limo to start guzzling champagne from the bottle.
Yes, Vicki and Brooks Ayers are an item again. Oh my. "We are together," Vickitells Us Weekly. Vicki insists he is a "really great guy" who treats her "like a princess."
"Brooks and I have had, definitely, a rough road," The Real Housewives of Orange County star confesses. "We fight to stay together; we fight to leave each other alone. Every other day I'm like, 'I'm too much work for you.'"
On last night's Watch What Happens Live, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills'Camille Grammer graced Andy Cohen with her presence in the clubhouse. Joining her was rocker – and Ashlee Simpson ex – Pete Wentz, who will be hosting a new tattoo competition show on Oxygen. Andy addresses the tragedy in Boston, and declares it a night where everyone needs a drink. That said, there is no drinking game word…you just drink when the word "Drink" flashes across the screen. Seems easy enough for me! The bartender is the guy who designed the logo that is Andy's face which can be found on most of the Mazel products.
Andy opens the vault to reveal two clips of Camille scantily dressed and dancing on '90's late night shows. She admits to having a breast reduction since those glory days. My, my, my! Those are some jugs. Pete compliments the current state of Camille's rack. The poll question involves Real Housewives of Orange County, and Andy wonders if Briana had the right to ban Brooks Ayers from her mother's house.
In her Bravo blog for the second episode Gretchen explains why she thinks Vicki is being fake and playing the Vick-tim card, and also lying about her relationship with Brooks Ayers to save face!
Gretchen shares that she's happy Vicki and Tamra are working on their friendship but what Tamra was saying to Vicki and about Vicki are two different things! acknowledges.
"Hearing them talk in the wine cellar was actually a surprise to me since Tamra had voiced such a different tune to me for the last nine months about Vicki," Gretchen remarks. "However I was glad to see they could talk and try to work through their issues."
Tamra and Vicki reveal they made up during her bachelorette party weekend in Mexico. "We put the tequila shot in my bra, and then you sucked it," Vicki over-discloses. "I don’t know if she’s going to turn on me, or if I’m going to turn on her. But I swear to God, if she turns on me, I told her I’m going to rip her hair out a piece at a time."
Tamra promises she won't! A likely story… "We were always good; I just didn’t like Brooks [Ayers]," she shares. Adding that she definitely talks ish about Vicki "the first half of the season!"
No! Bad, Vicki Gunvalson, bad! Time. OUT! According to twitter, facebook, and the gossiping mouth of Dr. Terry Dubrow, Vicki spent her New Year's holiday cozying up to ultimate loserBrooks Ayers. Is there a Hallmark for 'I'm so sorry I embarrassed you on TV and ruined your reputation by being a deadbeat loser, but I really, really need to borrow your car so can we get back together?' Guess so!
The Real Housewives of Orange County star who recently said she broke up with Brooks is either having second thoughts (NO!) or perhaps they're still friends – possibly friend with benefits (retch!).
“In Deer Valley for New Year’s Eve. It is going to be an amazing dinner and dancing with great people. Football with Heather [Dubrow] tomorrow. Everyone please be safe tonight and do not drink and drive! HAPPY NEW YEAR!” Vicki wrote on Facebook. Well one part of that equation was conveniently left out – the part where Brooks was included in their couples party of four!
I can now say with certainty that Real Housewives of Orange County'sVicki Gunvalson's love tank is no longer being filled by Brooks Ayers. What? No more daily affirmations? No more crawfish boils? No more rented furs? I wonder what happened there…I'm guessing that she got tired of spending all her money on him. Vicki recently chatted about all things Season 8, grandson Troy, and bacon vodka. What is the housewives' obsession with having their own liquor line?
Also in RHOC news, Tamra Barney is shopping for her wedding duds and bringing along the majority of her co-stars…whether she's friends with them or thinks they are fake air heads. That's right. Vicki, Heather Dubrow, Gretchen Rossi, former cast member Lauri Waring Peterson, new housewife Lydia Stirling McLaughlin, and dun dun dun dun…Alexis Bellino (what?) all accompanied Tammy on her trek to find the perfect gown. I'm sure that was fun!
I'm curious as to whether ladies in the housewives franchise ever just want to go back to a simpler, obscure neighborhood existence. Most of them love to complain about how poorly they are portrayed on various seasons, yet they return for more toxic drama.
Of course, I'm not complaining. Sometimes it's hilarious to watch grown women wearing skintight clothing and gaudy jewelry scream at each other and spew insults, and no one does it better than the original ladies of the O.C. Real Housewives of Orange County has just started filming its eighth season, and rumor has it that the longest running housewife Vicki Gunvalson will be back!