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Airing this weekend is the first part of Oprah’s interview with America’s favorite and most-hated (depending who you ask) reality family, the Kardashian-Jenner-Odom-Disick family.

Small snippets of the two part interview have been coming out and I had to share this little nugget.  It seems that our little Kimmie is growing up, y’all!  Yes, at 31 years old she’s finally becoming a grown up.  She tells Oprah (after Oprah comments “You’re growing up”), “I’m totally growing up.”

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Womp, womp, womp.  You tried, Kris Humphries!  If you were hoping to get to watch Kim Kardashian squirm her way through her deposition, you’re out of luck unfortunately.  Unlike her intimate moments with Ray J, her deposition will not be taped.

An insider close to the divorce proceedings tells RadarOnline.com, “Both parties mutually agreed that it wasn’t necessary to have Kim and Kris’ deposition filmed.  There will be a private stenographer present that will provide a transcript of the proceedings.”  50 Shades of Kartrashian, perhaps?

“There was concern about the depositions being filmed and then getting leaked to the media. To ensure that won’t happen everyone recognized and agreed to not have proceedings filmed,” continues the source.  “However, Kris’ lawyer, Lee Hutton has told Laura Wasser that they absolutely intend to ask that cameras be permitted in the courtroom when this divorce goes to trial.”

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There’s lots going on in the Krazy Kardashian universe this weekend. On Thursday Bruce Jenner‘s son Brandon got married in Hawaii and while Kendall, Kylie, Brody, and Kris Jenner all flew out for the party, none of the Kardashian side of the family bothered to show up. Kendall and Kylie served as bridesmaids!

Instead they sent out their congrats the modern way…via social media. Khloe posted the following well-wishes to her blog Thursday morning: “I just wanted to send a HUGE congratulations and so much love to my brother Brandon and his fiancé/soon-to-be wife Leah. Wishing you both all the happiness in the world!” Kim and Kourtney posted similar messages to their Twitter and blogs.

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So, let’s talk about Keeping Up With Kardashians… Is anybody watching that? I must confess I tuned in and saw, well, all the episodes of this season. Not because I was forced, but because I was curious. Albeit morbidly so. Which is sort of like eating an entire Chipotle burrito just to see if I can do it. Never a good idea, but it never stops me.

First of all, the editing in this show is so bad and non-sequential, but they don’t seem to care and they don’t bother trying to hide it. They also bilk a storyline for all it’s worth; going overboard to berate you with a point. And most annoyingly, each show has a little moralistic message attached to the end like some sort of totally trashy and lowbrow Aesop’s Fables with spray tans, false eyelashes, and a lot of too tight pants.

Yeah, so about those Kardashians. Is Kris Jenner psychotic? Bruce Jenner seems to think so! Their marital drama – which may be fabricated, but is likely not – is kinda dominating this season so far. In fact Bruce is getting some major airtime for once. He’s working hard for his share of that $40M.

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For all six of you that plan to watch, tonight is the season premiere of Keeping Up With The Kardashians Season 7. This season the Kardashian-Jenner fam faces a series of heartaches in the wake of Kim Kardashian‘s divorce, but they also experience tremendous joy as Kourtney Kardashian experiences pregnancy no. 2.

From the NBC press release: “Kim has grown closer to her loving family than she ever was before, Kourtney and Scott are preparing Mason for the arrival of his little sister, Khloé strives to spend time with everyone she loves, Kylie and Kendall have discovered new ways to step out from the shadows of their older sisters, Rob is finding his own way in business, and Bruce and Kris go through a rough patch after Bruce reveals that he feels taken for granted.”

The Kardashians will also continue to expand their empire by opening DASH boutique and pimping more products than ever. Oh, joy.

Photos of the family and a video preview of tonight’s episode are below!

WILL YOU BE WATCHING?

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The legal battle between Kim Kardashian and insta-ex husband Kris Humphries rages on. In the latest development, Kris’s lawyers asked for more time to pursue evidence that the whole marriage was a publicity stunt. If the pair doesn’t reach a resolution, the case could go to trial, which could bust open the Kardashian facade. Kim’s lawyer Laura Wasser says Kris is extending the case needlessly, saying “I feel that (Humphries’) personal feelings and maybe some media drive is keeping this case alive.”

Kim’s team said in court last week that if the case is decided in her favor, she will demand that Kris pay her legal fees. The lawyers will return to court on August 15.

Clearly having a better marriage is sister Khloe Kardashian, who has had to deal with pregnancy rumors as of late after she and husband Lamar Odom decided to walk away from their reality show Khloe and Lamar. What may put a stop to those rumors is her recent 20 pound weight loss. Her trainer tells Life and Style her method:

“She eats mostly fresh fruits and vegetables, with small amounts of lean proteins like fish and chicken. She trains like an athlete when she’s with us, even doing weight training. We also run the canyons surrounding their house. Plus she does pilates and stair-running on her own.”

Sounds dreadful! Mama Kris Jenner tells the magazine that the couple is “SO happy” now they no longer have a pesky reality show to worry about. A recent photo posted to Twitter shows a slimmer, glowing Khloe:

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Well, I have some unfortunate news, so I hope you’re all sitting down. The Kardashians will definitely NOT be leaving our TV’s anytime soon – or our pop culture lexicon. Despite Kim Kardashian‘s sham wedding (with accompanying very public divorce) and the tremendous negative backlash from the media and the public, American’s favorite famewhores have just inked a $40 Million three-year reality television deal with E!. So, if this doesn’t confirm that Kimye is a publicity stunt – really, I don’t know what would!

Yes, despite petitions, and threats, and absolute proof that their shows are staged crap – they will be back whether we like it or not!

According to TMZ, the attention-seeking family behind Keeping Up With The Kardashians will continue airing all their dirty laundry – real and created – for our viewing consumption with the lion’s share of the massive deal being split between Kris Jenner, Bruce Jenner, Khloe Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian, and of course no 1 paycheck, Kim, all of whom will receive equal salaries!

Ironically the numbers for last season’s KUWTK averaged only about 3 M viewers per episode – on par (or below) with most Housewives, but apparently the Kardashians’ scandals and drama are worth their weight in gold for the network; which basically exists purely to broadcast the family’s lives. The deal does not include any new shows! So when Kim and Kanye West start pimping out their totally authentic romance, they will iron out their own deal. Which means more ka-ching!

The less famous and thereby second-rate family members, Rob Kardashian along with Kylie and Kendall Jenner will receive considerably less. Scott Disick and Mason also get a cut of the profit, but they have a separate deal with the network. You know Kris was trying to insure against any possible break-ups!

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Bruce Jenner better watch his back, because his disapproval of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West dating just made Kris Jenner’s head explode.

During a speaking engagement this week, the Kardashian-Jenner patriarch shared with the audience the fact that he’s not thrilled with Kim’s new fauxlationship. “I’m not that excited, but we’ll see. Kimberly and I have had a conversation about them and their potential relationship.”

His wife, on the other hand, is purring at the “new” development in Kim’s life. Pimpmomager is reportedly doing backflips over the potential to extend their time in the spotlight, and feels this pairing will take them all Kim to the next level.

A source tells Radar Online: “She loves that they’re together and thinks Kanye is a huge step up for Kim after her marriage to Kris Humphries. Dating Kanye puts Kim in a whole new stratosphere. Kris was just a basketball player making a few million dollars a year, but Kanye is a world-wide multimillionaire superstar.”

Kim had an obscenely extravagant wedding to an NBA player—can you imagine what Kris J. could do with a rapper’s wedding budget?

In other Kimye news, Kris Humphries reportedly had an awkward moment at the Marble Lane restaurant this week. Kris was hanging out with his sister Kaela when ‘Theraflu’ started blasting through the sound system. You know the song, the one where Kanye admits to lusting after Kris’ then-wife and threatens that he could have Jay-Z fire him from the Nets team. Good times.

[Photo credit: Mr Blue/WENN & Pacific Coast News]

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