NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! <–That's not just ALL CAPS, folks. That is a legitimate scream. If that scream was in a movie, it would be the desperate cry of someone who had just fallen off the world's largest cliff, and it would be loud enough to start an avalanche on a neighboring continent. It would only be slightly less dramatic than Sally Field realizing she had eighteen personalities, her daughter was trapped in a Middle Eastern custody dispute, and her ex-husband was dressing in drag as the nanny…all at the same time. It's a true scream. But why?
Kris flippin' Jenner. That's why. Remember when rumors seemed so true that her talk show was cancelled and the world rejoiced? Yeah, me too…and I'm not even home during the day to defiantly not watch it. It looks like that call may have been premature. Thanks a lot, tiny rapper.
To K or not to K? That is the kwestion that I seriously doubt anyone cares all that much about! As the entertainment world runs out of K names (both common and out of left field), we are now opening up the guessing game to the other twenty-five letters. That should allow the name withholding to continue through the end of the summer!
For a week, the world has been waiting with baited breath (cough, cough) to find out what Kim Kardashian and Kanye West will name their new addition. I'll bet they make the announcement on the day Princess Kate gives birth…
Good gracious, y'all! Nothing ever slows down if you're one of the Kardashians. First up, Bruce Jenner finally gets some press time is getting heat from step-daughter Kim Kardashian for not being Kanye West's biggest fan. His wife, Kris Jenner can't be bothered with such nonsense as she's too busy perfecting the ins and outs of her upcoming talk show. Yes, that's really going to happen.
At least there is some good news in sight for Kim. Her divorce from Kris Humphries, which seemed like it would never happen, has been finalized. The couple is no longer legally betrothed, so you can go ahead and delete their multi-million dollar nuptials from your DVR. As much as Kris Humphries wishes it never legally happened, it did, but it's over…and you can purge it from your cache. I just did.
In a sneak peek of the premiere episode, Kim gets an ultrasound to find out her baby's gender. The interesting thing about the clip is that she's accompanied by her mom and sisters, Khloe and Kourtney, but not Kanye. Don't you think the baby's dad would want to be a part of this big event? Unless, as per usual with this faux show, they did find out together and taped a new scene without him just for the show's purposes.
Happy weekend, readers! I've got some pretty phenomenal news for y'all! Guess what? The Kardashians never do anything wrong. Crazy, I know! All the stuff we read about them is lies. Kris Jenner is not trying to find the next highest paycheck for her daughters and Rob. They are just a normal family who enjoys spending a little time in the public eye. The krew would be more than happy to maintain their privacy. Ahahahahaha! It was hard to even type that!
You know how I know this ahmahzing information? It's straight from the pimpmomager herself! Kris is letting everyone know that what we read in the tabloids–like the writings of her late ex-husband's journal–are totally false. In other news, daughter Kim Kardashian's dicorce proceedings are moving forward as planned after her attorneys failed to reach a settlement agreement with those of Kris Humphries. The above picture is her leaving court…what, praytell, is she wearing??