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It's that all-important special time again – time for the Keeping Up With The Kardashians Kristmas Kard! Behold: it's splendiferous, it's Kanye-less, and Kourtney looks thinner than Kim although she had a baby like last week.

I think Kris Jenner may be there? That very young and sassy woman sitting next to Kendall with the Pat Benetar hair cut is confusing me…

So congrats Photoshop you've worked your miracles again. 

[Photo Credit: E! Online/Nick Saglimbeni/kimkardashian.celebuzz.com]

TELL US – THOUGHTS ON THIS YEAR'S KRISTMAS KARD? WHERE'S KANYE?

 

 

You know what they say, where there's smoke, there's usually fire…and when the same Kardashian rumors keep circulating again and again, there has to be some truth to them, right?  Once again there are rumblings of a fed up Bruce Jenner ready to divorce his pimp wife Kris Jenner.    I mean if Bruce has any lick of sense about him, he can't be happy in his marriage–especially if it's anything like we see portrayed on Keeping Up With the Kardashians

Of course, it has been kind of quiet on the Kardashian front of late, so the revival of marital discord gossip could be Kris' attempt at getting her name back in the media.  We all know she's really good at that!  These new rumors have Bruce moving daughters Kendall and Kylie out of the family home before Kris can railroad their remaining teenage years into reality gold.  They are daughters, not brands!

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It's been said that in life only two things are certain–death and taxes.  Well, dear readers, I'd like to think y'all would agree with me if I tweaked that saying just a bit.  In the reality world, the only two things that are certain have to be Kris Jenner creating rumors about her family in order to stay relevant and Kim Kardashian talking when she should just smile, look plastic pretty, and wear heinous tiny rapper inspired outfits.  Am I right or am I right?  Of course death, taxes, and all that jazz come into play as well…although have we seen any Kardashian 1099s?

Where to start, where to start?  Should I lead with Kim's unfortunate but likely well-intended Twitter posts or Kris speaking out about the gossip she planted about her marriage?  It's quite the conundrum.  Thank goodness I've got a glass of pinot noir and a Ducky Dynasty marathon to soothe my Kardashian-riddled nerves.  Join me, won't you?

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When I think of the Kardashian/Jenner klan, warm and fuzzy thoughts don't often come to mind.  Sure, Khloe Kardashian Odom is slightly bearable, and those Jenner girls are pretty, but let's face it.  With Kris Jenner as their momager, they're bound to be extremely entitled, over exposed, and annoying any day know…if they aren't already.

With all of this going on with the girls in this family, sometimes the guys get the short end of the stick (anyone remember poor Rob Kardashian when Oprah Winfrey came to interview the krew? At least he has his sock line.).  It's sad really.  Of course, no one is more disrespected, ignored, or made fun of more than dad Bruce Jenner.  Poor guy is legendary Olympian, but at his home, he's the butt of all jokes. 

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kardashian boat race 290912

While Kanye West is over in Paris for Fashion Week, picking out a flattering new wardrobe for her, Kim Kardashian kept herself busy filming in Miami with her family. 

Kim, Bruce Jenner, Kris Jenner, Kourtney Kardashian and more headed out to Miami Beach where they participated in a drag boat race together while filming "Kourtney and Kim Take Miami".  Oh and Jonathan Cheban was there, too.  Did they adopt him? Is he just an honorary Kardashian/Jenner now? 

Check out the gallery below for such riveting photos as Kris Jenner doing the double bird flip (among other ladylike poses) and to check out Bruce and Kim's touching moment. 

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Oh Kardashians.  Y’all are so funny.  Poor Bruce Jenner is trying to regain relevance by reminding us that he’s not just married to pimp master Kris, he’s also a former Olympian.  It’s almost too late for that reminder, but I guess he has the Olympic fanfare to help his cause.  Bless his heart.

The former decathlete has been covering the games, and he recently spoke with Access Hollywood about his time in Olympic Village back in the day.  Bruce brags, “I was a stud! Let me tell you, I was doing it!  Just kicking butt all day long, taking no prisoners.”  So basically the exact opposite of how he is now.

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Not only is E! correspondent Giuliana Rancic expecting a baby with husband Bill Rancic via gestational surrogate, she’s also got an upcoming series on NBC called Ready for Love which she’ll co-host with Bill.  What more could a woman want?  How about Kris Jenner as a bestie?  Umm….

It turns out that the two ladies are not just part of the E! Network together (or, let’s face it, the Kardashian Network), they are also really close friends.  Who knew?

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Just in time for my trip to the beach–the Jenner/Kardashian’s former nanny Pam Behan has released a tell-all book!  The book, Malibu Nanny: The True Adventures of the Former Kardashian Nanny, details Pam’s time with the family which began on Bruce and Kris wedding day.  She formerly worked for Bruce’s second wife.

The Huffington Post reports that Pam clearly loved watching the Kardashian brood.  When she began working for the family Kourtney was twelve, Kim was ten, Khloe was six, and Rob was four.  She maintains that the girls were very well behaved, although there was an occasional unsupervised party.

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