There’s lots going on in the Krazy Kardashian universe this weekend. On Thursday Bruce Jenner‘s son Brandon got married in Hawaii and while Kendall, Kylie, Brody, and Kris Jenner all flew out for the party, none of the Kardashian side of the family bothered to show up. Kendall and Kylie served as bridesmaids!
Instead they sent out their congrats the modern way…via social media. Khloe posted the following well-wishes to her blog Thursday morning: “I just wanted to send a HUGE congratulations and so much love to my brother Brandon and his fiancé/soon-to-be wife Leah. Wishing you both all the happiness in the world!” Kim and Kourtney posted similar messages to their Twitter and blogs.
So, let’s talk about Keeping Up With Kardashians… Is anybody watching that? I must confess I tuned in and saw, well, all the episodes of this season. Not because I was forced, but because I was curious. Albeit morbidly so. Which is sort of like eating an entire Chipotle burrito just to see if I can do it. Never a good idea, but it never stops me.
First of all, the editing in this show is so bad and non-sequential, but they don’t seem to care and they don’t bother trying to hide it. They also bilk a storyline for all it’s worth; going overboard to berate you with a point. And most annoyingly, each show has a little moralistic message attached to the end like some sort of totally trashy and lowbrow Aesop’s Fables with spray tans, false eyelashes, and a lot of too tight pants.
Yeah, so about those Kardashians. Is Kris Jennerpsychotic? Bruce Jenner seems to think so! Their marital drama – which may be fabricated, but is likely not – is kinda dominating this season so far. In fact Bruce is getting some major airtime for once. He’s working hard for his share of that $40M.
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From the NBC press release: “Kim has grown closer to her loving family than she ever was before, Kourtney and Scott are preparing Mason for the arrival of his little sister, Khloé strives to spend time with everyone she loves, Kylie and Kendall have discovered new ways to step out from the shadows of their older sisters, Rob is finding his own way in business, and Bruce and Kris go through a rough patch after Bruce reveals that he feels taken for granted.”
The Kardashians will also continue to expand their empire by opening DASH boutique and pimping more products than ever. Oh, joy.
Photos of the family and a video preview of tonight’s episode are below!
The legal battle between Kim Kardashian and insta-ex husband Kris Humphries rages on. In the latest development, Kris’s lawyers asked for more time to pursue evidence that the whole marriage was a publicity stunt. If the pair doesn’t reach a resolution, the case could go to trial, which could bust open the Kardashian facade. Kim’s lawyer Laura Wasser says Kris is extending the case needlessly, saying “I feel that (Humphries’) personal feelings and maybe some media drive is keeping this case alive.”
Kim’s team said in court last week that if the case is decided in her favor, she will demand that Kris pay her legal fees. The lawyers will return to court on August 15.
Clearly having a better marriage is sister Khloe Kardashian, who has had to deal with pregnancy rumors as of late after she and husband Lamar Odom decided to walk away from their reality show Khloe and Lamar. What may put a stop to those rumors is her recent 20 pound weight loss. Her trainer tells Life and Style her method:
“She eats mostly fresh fruits and vegetables, with small amounts of lean proteins like fish and chicken. She trains like an athlete when she’s with us, even doing weight training. We also run the canyons surrounding their house. Plus she does pilates and stair-running on her own.”
Sounds dreadful! Mama Kris Jenner tells the magazine that the couple is “SO happy” now they no longer have a pesky reality show to worry about. A recent photo posted to Twitter shows a slimmer, glowing Khloe:
Well, I have some unfortunate news, so I hope you’re all sitting down. The Kardashians will definitely NOT be leaving our TV’s anytime soon – or our pop culture lexicon. Despite Kim Kardashian‘s sham wedding (with accompanying very public divorce) and the tremendous negative backlash from the media and the public, American’s favorite famewhores have just inked a $40 Million three-year reality television deal with E!. So, if this doesn’t confirm that Kimye is a publicity stunt – really, I don’t know what would!
Yes, despite petitions, and threats, and absolute proof that their shows are staged crap – they will be back whether we like it or not!
Ironically the numbers for last season’s KUWTK averaged only about 3 M viewers per episode – on par (or below) with most Housewives, but apparently the Kardashians’ scandals and drama are worth their weight in gold for the network; which basically exists purely to broadcast the family’s lives. The deal does not include any new shows! So when Kim and Kanye West start pimping out their totally authentic romance, they will iron out their own deal. Which means more ka-ching!
The less famous and thereby second-rate family members, Rob Kardashian along withKylie andKendall Jenner will receive considerably less. Scott Disick and Mason also get a cut of the profit, but they have a separate deal with the network. You know Kris was trying to insure against any possible break-ups!
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During a speaking engagement this week, the Kardashian-Jenner patriarch shared with the audience the fact that he’s not thrilled with Kim’s new fauxlationship. “I’m not that excited, but we’ll see. Kimberly and I have had a conversation about them and their potential relationship.”
His wife, on the other hand, is purring at the “new” development in Kim’s life. Pimpmomager is reportedly doing backflips over the potential to extend their time in the spotlight, and feels this pairing will take them all Kim to the next level.
A source tells Radar Online: “She loves that they’re together and thinks Kanye is a huge step up for Kim after her marriage to Kris Humphries. Dating Kanye puts Kim in a whole new stratosphere. Kris was just a basketball player making a few million dollars a year, but Kanye is a world-wide multimillionaire superstar.”
Kim had an obscenely extravagant wedding to an NBA player—can you imagine what Kris J. could do with a rapper’s wedding budget?
In other Kimye news, Kris Humphries reportedly had an awkward moment at the Marble Lane restaurant this week. Kris was hanging out with his sister Kaela when ‘Theraflu’ started blasting through the sound system. You know the song, the one where Kanye admits to lusting after Kris’ then-wife and threatens that he could have Jay-Z fire him from the Nets team. Good times.
Kris Jenner‘s plan to turn her daughters into a reality television famwehore konglomerate may finally be coming to an end. The older girls are besieged by drama and relationship troubles, and now husband Bruce Jenner is finally– finally–putting his foot down about her pimping out younger daughters Kendall and Kylie; leaving them to befall the same fates as their older sisters.
The National Enquirer–which can be surprisingly accurate and on-point with uncovering hot stories first–is reporting that the Jenner marriage is all but over due to Kris’ out of control ambition and promoting her teenaged daughters as sex objects to continue with the Kardashian reality dynasty!
For years, viewers have wondered what the heck is wrong with Bruce for letting her get away with this nonsense, and apparently Bruce has been quietly simmering behind the scenes. After a recent blow-up with Kris, Bruce packed his bags and stormed out, accusing her of turning his daughters into “Kardashian Robots!” According to insiders, Bruce has “had it with Kris’ manipulative ways and packed his bags and left.”
The devastating fight over his daughters’ futures came after their appearance on America’s Next Top Model where they posed for provocative photos dressed as the twins from The Shining. Bruce, rightfully, felt the shot and the portrayal was inappropriate and called Kris out on using their children. In fact, her desperate need for fame is putting her twenty-year marriage in serious jeopardy as Bruce is at the end of his rope!
After Bruce left, Kris called him repeatedly to no avail and he refused to tell her where he was. “Kris was crying hysterically when she finally got Bruce on his cell phone,” the insider recounts. “She sobbed that she was sorry for everything and if he came back they could get their marriage back on track.”
Bruce has never been too interested in reality television, maintaining a mostly low profile on Keeping Up With The Kardashians and not letting fame go to his head – well, except for that facelift Kris forced him to get! But now that Kris is ardently throwing their younger daughters into the spotlight, shilling their images out in sexy poses and outfits everywhere, he is starting to see the repercussions of letting her be in charge.
“The marriage started spinning out of control when Kris started pushing Kendall and Kylie to follow in Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe‘s footsteps as hypersexualized reality starlets,” an insider tells The National Enquirer (via their print edition). “When Bruce put his foot down, Kris just laughed and pointed a finger in his face and barked, ‘I’m the boss here, buddy!’”
“Bruce is fed up with his wife’s cold, bloodless ambition for the children,” the insider discloses. “Their marriage is in tatters. He just said that she needed help big-time.” Bruce eventually came home following their gigantic fight, but all is not well. “They’re barely speaking to each other. Bruce told her that ambition is in her blood like a disease.”
Adding fuel to rumors that their marriage is in trouble, was Bruce’s absence at step-son Rob Kardashian‘s recent Las Vegas birthday celebration!
Indeed, while has Kris focused on building a reality television dynasty she has been completely ignoring Bruce and her marriage – and he is ready to call it quits! Kris is reportedly desperate to keep up appearances and reconnect with Bruce. “They talked about marriage therapy as a last-ditch effort to avoid divorce,” the insider shares. “There’s really very little left in the marriage to save.”
Kris doesn’t want to give up just yet. “She desperately wants him back,” but Bruce is still reeling from a year of horrible family drama – particularly Kris’ revelations in her book Kris Jenner… and All Things Kardashian. Bruce was furious to learn all the intimate details of her affair and that she kept in touch with her adultery partner, Todd Waterman, after Bruce and Kris married!
“If Bruce and Kris’ marriage is to survive, massive changes need to happen,” the insider concludes.
In other Kardashian news, Kris Humphries has had it with speculation about his divorce and the nonstop accusations against him – likely stemming from his desperate to save her spotlight ex-wife. Hot on the heels of gossip that Kim wants to claim he defrauded her by refusing to move to California (despite footage on her reality show demonstrating otherwise), Kris is releasing a statement denying any defamatory comments or leaks came from his camp because they all came from the Kardashinas.
“Much effort and energy to mis-direct the public’s perception of what transpired between Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries has taken place over the past several months, some even going so far as to attempt to create settlement ‘demands’ where none have been made,” the statement begins.
“Neither Kris Humphries nor his legal team have spread these rumors nor will they. While we are encouraged to see an apparent willingness by the other side to put big numbers out in an attempt to settle Mr. Humphries’ claims, we respect and will continue to observe the integrity of the legal process.”
“This case will be resolved not in the court of public opinion amidst ridiculous and defamatory allegations and personal attacks directed against Kris Humphries. Rather, this case will be appropriately investigated and litigated professionally and with integrity.”
And Kris is not backing down – nor is he remaining quiet about the Kardashians’ intentions for this marriage! “One thing is certain: Kris Humphries intends to set the record straight and while settlement discussions are a normal part of every litigated case, there will always be public speculation and conjecture in matters such as this, in fact, these legal proceedings and the parties involved are deserving of professionalism and integrity by all.”
Kris, believe me, we are all standing by on bated breath to see how this plays out!
Finally, also not apologizing or backing down is actor Jon Hamm; who lambasted fauxlebrities like Kim by saying, “stupidity is certainly celebrated.” Kim released a statement denying that anything she does is stupid, cause, she’s like popular y’all and called his comments “careless!” But Jon is standing by his statements!
“I don’t think [my comments] were careless. I think they were accurate,” he explained on The Today Show. “It’s a part of our culture that I certainly don’t identify with and I don’t really understand the appeal of it other than in a sort of car crash sensibility.”
And, in case your interested in watching some television with actual talented stars, Mad Men premiers this Sunday!
[Photo Credit: Fayes Vision/WENN.com]
IS THE JENNER MARRIAGE ON THE ROCKS? IS BRUCE RIGHT TO FINALLY PUT HIS FOOT DOWN? THOUGHTS ON KRIS’ STATEMENT – IS HE LEAKING STORIES TO THE MEDIA? DOES JON HAMM OWE KIM AN APOLOGY?
Despite her claims that she isn’t ready to date post divorce, Kim Kardashian is one of those girls who seems to always need a man. And that latest man is poor stupidReggie Bush!
Days after, reports spotted the two lunching together and Reggie publicly denied Kim, a new report states, if it were up to Kim, the two would be back together! “Reggie and Kim have been talking since she split with Kris,” a Kardashian source tells Us Weekly. “Reggie is the one who all other guys get compared to, and the one she runs to when there’s a breakup. He is her safety net.” So basically Kimmie Kakes is using ol’ Reggie?
“He is comforting to her. But they are trying to be private about it – not even telling close friends.”
The reason? Kim’s family is totally against the relationship! “In her mind Reggie’s her great love… but he’s not a good boyfriend,” the source explains. “Her family hates to see how upset she gets when it’s over.”
“She’s always devastated and a mess. They really don’t want her to go down this road again.” But Kim is desperate to be married has “never stopped loving him.”
Kim’s family is hoping she’ll move on with someone new. “They want Kim to get back in the game and try meeting new people.” Sadly, Kim’s family and friends know Reggie will break her heart again. “It won’t go anywhere,” explains a source. “Reggie won’t commit to her in the way she needs him to.”
“He’s not ready to give up the fabulous life he has as a single guy,” the source adds. You mean he doesn’t want to be henpecked by pimpmomager Kris Jenner and used as another pawn in the Kardashians’ desperate attempts for fame, money, and attention?
Speaking of a pawn in the Kardashian famewhoring, Kris Humphries is stopping at nothing to take down the family who used and abused him! Kris’ plan is to take his divorce proceedings to court in an effort to “clear his name” after he was made into the villain on Kourtney and Kim Take New York!
Kris simply wants to prove his innocence in the matter, but the Kardashians believe his motives are vindictive because he wants to destroy Kim! “He’s doing this to humiliate her,” a Kardashian friend reports. Well, frankly she has it coming to her!
Finally, sixteen-year-old Kendall Jenner has officially become a Kardashian famewhore. The teen model has recently announced her decision to blow off college and pursue modelling full-time instead. And of course she has the blessing of her parents – who will do anything for their 10%!
“I’m not really thinking about [it] right now,” the Keeping Up With The Kardashians star told Life & Style about planning for college. “If my career really blows up, that’s what I would do. I love doing it.”
“She’ll probably have a career by the time she’s out of high school,” Bruce Jenner eagerly added. “If that’s what she wants to do, that’s good. I don’t know if college is going to be that important to her.” Oh, such awesome role modeling. What a lucky girl! Maybe she can end up just like her sister, Kim!
WILL KIM AND REGGIE END UP BACK TOGETHER? IS HER FAMILY RIGHT TO WORRY ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP? SHOULD KENDALL’S PARENTS ENCOURAGE HER TO GO TO COLLEGE?