So, it took me the entire second season of Southern Charm to realize that every episode begins with the Charmers waking up at their respective residences across the Lowcountry. Nice touch, Bravo! Last night’s finale begins the same way, but this time Craig Conover is bright-eyed and bushy tailed as he calls Cameran Eubanks and Shepard “Shep” Rose to tease them about their drunken antics the night before at Thomas Ravenel’s post-campaign party. Shep can’t remember his jovial speech (it’s hilarious), but he does recall Kathryn Dennis’ crazy behavior. Craig concedes that maybe he should just work on himself instead of trying to help new friends on the path to normalcy. It may be Craig’s most intelligent statement all season!
Across the peninsula, at Patricia Altshul’s mansion, she’s enlisted famed designer Mario Buatta to help her rejuvenate her parlor. Together, their projects have donned the pages of multiple Architectural Digests, and she trusts him to marry her decor visions of antiques, classic fabrics and textures, and mini collections of expensive limoges. Whitney Sudler-Smith arrives, and Mario teases him about his tight fitting pants (is that scotch tape or a zipper?), citing they look like a cheap hotel. A cheap hotel typically doesn’t have a ballroom. I am dying. Mrs. Pat defends her son, saying his trousers are undoubtedly expensive, but Mario’s humor isn’t lost on me. Whitney’s jeans don’t have room for his balls. Score one for Mario! An unfazed Whitney, relays Kathryn’s meltdown from the party as Mrs. Pat explains the backstory to Mario. For this former teacher, P. E. no longer stands for physical education.
So do the Real Housewives really look as glamorous off-camera as they do on Bravo? The stars of Real Housewives Of New York and Real Housewives Of Orange County dish on what they’ve learned since the cameras started rolling, how TV has affected their looks, and if they’re really as glam when they’re not on Bravo!
All the women admit they’re more casual in real life than they are in reality TV life, usually wearing jeans and shirts or workout gear instead of satin cocktail dresses and Louboutins. Bethenny Frankel confesses to being “braless in pajamas” when she drops off her daughter Bryn at school. “Honestly, that’s where the photographers really should be, because it’s scary. It’s a disaster,” she jokes. Hopefully Bethenny is actually wearing her own PJs and not her daughter’s…
When I’m wrong, I say I’m wrong. I know it wasn’t you who got Baby in trouble…and I was wrong thinking last week’s episode of Southern Charm was one for the books. Last night’s installment had it all! Dancing, conspiracies, that long-awaited “shameless strumpet” word bomb, and can we just dish on the ending for one moment? No bird has ever flown higher! Let’s dive right in, shall we?
The crew learns of Thomas Ravenel’s assault charges while they wreaking havoc on the croquet court. Great paté, but they’ll have to motor if they want to make it to dance lessons in time. Cameran Eubanks assumes that Kathryn Dennis will be motoring her sassy ass back to Charleston to publicly support T-Rav, and Craig Conover is thanking his lucky stars that something more pressing (and actually in the press) is diverting the attention away from his questionable decisions from the night before. The Charmers ponder how Kathryn will respond to the allegations, and Jennifer Snowden responds, “She doesn’t process things like an adult. It won’t really sink in with her the brevity of the situation.” It is a very brief situation indeed. The crew learns that T-Rav’s accuser is Kathryn’s best friend. A stylist by trade and an opportunist by nature, according to Cameran.
It was all about the hot mess express on Monday’s episode of Southern Charm, but the mode of transportation wasn’t a crazy train–instead it was a golf cart! After Kathryn Dennis went off on Whitney Sudler-Smith in a cyclone-esque storm of hate (one friend described it as “feral”), Craig Conover came to her rescue with more vino, keys to a battery operated tiny-car, and sticks and sand to generate body heat. It was, as you all recall, scandalous.
While Shepard “Shep” Rose had plenty to say about Craig’s recent tomfoolery during the group’s dinner on Jekyll Island, Cameran Eubanks has been the one talking it about it post-show. While some see her as a pot-stirrer, I honestly believe she cares for these turds, and she’s at her wits end trying to help them make good decisions. Of course, we all know that good decisions make for bad reality television. Thankfully for Bravo, there is no shortage of idiotic behavior when it comes to the charming cast!
Nearly every reality star who will have a job next season showed up yesterday for the E! and Bravo Upfronts in NYC. The Kardashians, the Real Housewives and so many more showed up to give advertisers a glimpse of what’s to come on the networks over the next few months.
Kenya Moore was on hand (and even posed with Patti Stanger, so clearly things are fine between them after the marriage debacle of this week) and so was NeNe Leakes – wearing the same top as Giuliana Rancic! Kim Zolciak was there but we didn’t get any red carpet shots of her and daughter Brielle, but hopefully some of those will be up later this morning!
Southern Charm, I can’t thank you enough for being the beacon of light in my dreaded Mondays, and last night’s episode was no different…although Shepard “Shep” Rose could’ve have laid off Craig Conover just a tad. The cast is packing for their Jekyll Island adventure, and Landon Clements’ fingers are crossed for a refined weekend of manicured lawns and low-key dinners. Craig calls Whitney Sudler-Smith to bum a ride, but alas, Whitney is an hour into the trek or else he’d turn around to retrieve him. Of course, Whitney spins this lie as he packs his Louis Vuitton weekender just a quarter mile from Craig’s apartment, but whatevs. Cameran Eubanks and Shep are tasked with carpooling the wayward law student, and they have agreed they need continue the tough love when it comes to his downward spiral. Shep is all in, and Captain Craig (seriously dude, that hat?) gets defensive about bar study and rent payments. Meanwhile, in the car with Jennifer Snowden, Kathryn Dennis hopes this trip will solidify her spot in the clique on her own merits, and not just as Thomas Ravenel’s plus one.
Landon and her sister Powell are the first to check in, followed by Whitney. Over drinks, Landon apologizes in advance to the bartender for her friends who have yet to materialize. Shep and Craig can’t handle the geriatric vibe they’re getting from the island. What is this place? Heaven’s waiting room? The two are forced to mainline Scotch to tolerate this retirement community. Cameran is beyond embarrassed by their childish antics. This is why she’s child free at the moment. Jennifer and Kathryn arrive as the others take off on a bike ride. Their swift departure and refusal to wait for the girls is an omen for Kathryn. She’s all Stephanie Tanner about the situation. Rude. They should be thankful they avoided the testosterone fueled beach cruiser nightmare that is Craig and Shep arguing over how to best reach the ocean. Shep takes every opportunity to insult Craig about his current life situation, calling him so broke he can’t even pay attention. I am definitely stealing that line. The boys spar over their mapquest skills when they’re informed they are about as far from the beach as is humanly possible.
When it comes to being a good friend, Whitney Sudler-Smith didn’t raise the bar very high for himself when he and Shepard “Shep” Rose went with Craig Conover to visit his family on last night’s Southern Charm. Speaking of bars, Craig’s pals are concerned that he’s spending so much time frequenting them, he’s going to have a tough time passing the one that is most important. Sadly, if Craig did sit for the February bar, he didn’t pass, as results were posted on Friday. It breaks does break my heart for him because the test is so subjective–I have no clue how I passed the first go round, and I have no clue how some of the smartest folks I know had to take it multiple times. UPDATE: Craig didn’t take the February bar, tweeting earlier, “Just so everyone knows — I did not take my Bar Exam in February — I’m excited to announce that I finally get the chance to take it in July!” Good luck to him this summer! Last night’s episode begins with Extreme Akim doling out some tough love as he bids his former employee adieu. Craig is embarrassed that his mentor, who once had such high hopes for him, believes he needs to reign in his behavior.
Landon Clement is facing the fact that she no longer has the safety net of her ex-husband’s income. She has a plan to sell “a lifestyle,” but she’s going to start with a test run pop-up shop in a local home. Her vision is that everything in the house is handpicked from local merchants and is for sale–from the artwork on the walls, the designer clothes in the closets, and the vintage cars in the garage. Shep reminds Landon that she can’t focus too much on work, and she assures him that she’s going to make time to socialize. In fact, she’s planning to invite the crew to Jekyll Island the following weekend. Despite their recent rough patch, she wants to include Thomas Ravenel and Kathryn Dennis as well. Shep looks like he wants to pat Landon on the head and whisper, “oh sweetie, no,” as I would envision Patricia would do, poo-pooing the footman’s vermouth pour. He thinks Landon is naive when it comes to T-Rav and Kathryn’s relationship. Shep believes the duo needs to cut their losses, go their separate ways, and amicably co-parent baby Kensington. In other words, they don’t need to drag down the fun quotient on any upcoming mini-vacays.