Reality Tea is ranking of every, single Housewife from every, single season from almost every Real Housewives franchise. You can find Part 1 of our rankings here. Now we finally return with Part 2 (aka the big ole mush in the middle)!
In Part 1 we mostly covered most Housewives who were either too crazy to be legit, or didn’t make much of an impact, or were just so miscast and off it was painful. Some of them were too nice, or too timid, or not rich enough, or too desperate. If she’s only a Housewife for a season, there’s usually a reason!
Cancer survivor Camille Grammer continues to raise awareness for Lynch Syndrome and this week she was honored with an award for her hard work. Camille was given the award at the 2017 Blues Genes Bash by Alive and Kickn, a hereditary cancer foundation.
Instead I’d prefer an endless loop of Lisa Vanderpump, going all 20’s gangsterina waving that long cigarette around while she purred a warning to Eden Sassoon.* Because the return of a cigarette while administering prophecy and warnings is the most classically amazing RHOBH thing ever… And this people is why LVP is my eternal favorite. Even if she is manipulating, she’s doing so with a style, glamour, and sophistication that is delightful.
LVP gives the people what they want, and the people want drama – the good kind! What people don’t want is more of Kim’s slurry excuses or Eden’s mish-mashed mumbo-jumbo. Instead put that shit in a smoothie with some of Lisa Rinna‘s Xanax!
Unfortunately for the ladies, the cast members of Real Housewives don’t always have the best boyfriends and husbands. Sometimes that makes for good TV and other times it’s just genuinely sad to watch and hear about. Nevertheless, there are Real Housewives husbands and fathers that you would never want to date if you had the chance – at least in my opinion.
These dudes are the worst of the worst: from the cheaters to the jail birds to the fame hungry. These are not the kind of men that you would want to be with, but they managed to end up with reality TV’s finest (and some of them did make for better reality TV viewing).
Oh Lisa Vanderpump – you saucy minx! I see your redemption campaign, smiling blithely, supremely feigning ignorance to any possible schemes, handing Dorit Kemsley a mirror and instructing her how to amputate her nose to spite her face, defending the maligned, innocent Kim Richards… I think Ms. LVP missed her calling in politics!
Last night had a tricky little moment between LVP and Dorit, didn’t it? Dorito had descended from her Nacho Cheese Delusions and spent the entire episode getting into my good graces, and also the good graces of Lipsa and Eileen Davidson, but in the last few moments, as if a switch was flipped, she all of a sudden turned a bit vituperative. Seeming to plant, to a scandalized, yet dismissive LVP that Lipsa is carrying around baggies of drugs. Now, before LVP could start alerting the police, Dorit was quick to add, as an afterthought that, the pills were “mostly” vitamins.
Things continue at Camille Grammer‘s Luncheon From Hell, which really wasn’t all that hellish after all. It kind of fizzled and popped, then went flat like day-old Perrier. What Dorit wanted to finish telling Eileen is that she feels constantly on the defense with these women. I feel like it’s true that Dorit is under laser-focus, but I also feel like Dorit is trying too hard, then imagines people are constantly scrutinizing her. Her affiliation with the sleaziness that is PK doesn’t help.
Lisa also defends her friend Dorit and bemoans the fact that she’s in the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills “hot seat” so far this season.
Lisa points out that “wine obviously flowed copiously” at PK and Dorit‘s dinner party. “So one might be forgiven if an accurate memory of what had transpired in conversation might be a little hazy so to speak. When we flash back, it compounds the fact that Dorit was inaccurate of her recollection. The subject of Eileen‘s name and mother, of course, was raised, however there were wires that were crossed.”