First of all let me apologize for this beast being so late, but good things come to those who wait, right? Last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, boy did we witness some groveling. It was down in the dirt, on your knees, begging kind of groveling as Queen Lisa Vanderpump barely acknowledged her subject's pleas for redemption.
I should say last night's episode was a study in relationship building and friendship, but also in status. New alliances were drawn, and enemy lines began to be sorted out. Also, the ladies took a trip to Ojai where apparently magic happens. But no amount of magic can make these girls behave in public.
Things begin with two ladies afflicted by a curse of over botoxing and an unfortunate affinity for ugly blouses facing off in a quaint little restaurant. One lady, a benevolent but stern queen, and the other a marginally disgraced princess who is quivering and anxious with anticipation. Yes, Adrienne Maloof has realized she made enemies with the wrong lady, because while Lisa can be sweet as rosé, she will cut a bitch faster than she'll discard a wilting rose.
It's good to be Brandi Glanville this week! Not only did the preorder for her new book go live this past week, but she just landed another job!
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star shared over the weekend that she's heading to another Beverly Hills-based TV show: "90210"! Brandi and her RHOBH cohort Camille Grammer will be appearing on the series (which is a reboot of the original 'Beverly Hills, 90210') in the near future. She took to Twitter to share her excitement, naturally.
I just don't know what to say/think about Taylor Armstrong anymore. The woman known for her lips, among other outrageous things, is speaking out in her Bravo blog about attending Portia's birthday party – and on the situation with Brandi Glanville.
Let's break this down, shall we:
First of all the Real Housewives of Beverly HIlls star blames last season's reunion for the animosity – and she doesn't understand why Brandi is afraid of lil ol' her. I don't understand why Taylor is still on this show, but that's just me!
"There were many strong personalities present that day and certainly bad vibes between some of us. My relationship with Brandi became strained during the reunion last year and it has created tension that is in need of resolution. I find it unbelievable that she behaves as if she is anxious about seeing me."
Last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills the ladies bored us to death and then got crotchety and bitchy at Portia's fourth birthday party. I don't know about you, but I always aim to get my drunk on and cause some trouble near the ring-around-the-faux-unicorn corral. Don't step in the shit, girls!
Before all that there were Househusbands in heels, some really bizarre timing, and a peace offering tree trunk that landed like deadweight and the fall was heard round the BH. Oh, and stage moms from hell! Weeee!
Watching this show makes me think that the zombie apocalypse will come from fillers and Botox eating the brains of the living and causing us to look like melted wax-faced drones incapable of moving our faces and conveying emotions. Brainless and melty faced, the streets of Beverly Hills will be filled with ladies hobbling around similarly to the way Paul Nassif and Mauricio Umansky did in their heels.
So things begin with Kyle Richards and Adrienne Maloof spending my yearly paycheck on clothes for Portia. Is $300 the standard budget for a birthday present there or is this just price inflation at work because four-year-olds spill a lot and do not need zillion dollar wardrobes (or birthday parties).
Of course the real reason for this shopping trip had absolutely nothing to do with poor scapegoated Portia; the real reason was so Adrienne could talk about her nemesis, Lisa Vanderpump. Apparently Adrienne is ready to put the past behind her but Lisa is unwilling to forgive, that makes Lisa "childish."
Finally, a new housewife that I'm super excited to see! I have always held a special place in my heart for the ladies of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. It's not because I like their personalities more than the women of the other franchises. I think I'm just enthralled with their amazing lifestyles. They are head and shoulders above the other housewives when it comes to vacation homes, couture, and bling. I'm addicted!
What's even more exciting about the RHOBH cast is that the newbies are stirring up more drama than their veteran counterparts. You have to love when a new addition comes into the situation with guns blazing. It's awesome. Having already decided that Yolanda Foster was going to be my dark horse favorite, I am disappointed in myself for not giving more credit to Marisa Zanuck. As viewers, we haven't been introduced to this firecracker yet, but she's already schooled in working the media. How can you not respect that?
In case you were wondering what Kelsey Grammer recently dressed as for the Playboy Halloween party, my guess would be Father of the Year. I mean, why else would he need his three-month-old daughter Faith by his side if not part of his costume?
The controversial star of stage and screen reportedly partied along side Paris Hilton at the infamous mansion while his baby snoozed in a bassinet under his table. You have to love when your child will sleep through anything. It makes things so much easier! I don't have to tell you that his ex-wife, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills'Camille Grammer, among others were totally appalled.
The women of 90210 will be back soon, and they are already making sure that their drama is front and center. The women just had their Season 3 premiere party, and there are already rumors flying about who is shunning who, who is speaking to whom, and who hates her cast mates. To sum it up quickly for you, none of them can stand one another.
Complex Magazine recently released a list of the so-called hottest ladies of Reality TV and we just don't agree with their version events. Kim Kardashian's surgically altered everything rolling in at number one? Um… yeah, No.
Melissa Gorga beating out Maxim's Hottest Joanna Krupa? Interesting, to say the least. Not that Melissa's not hot of course, but does she out-hot a stone cold fox of the supermodel variety? C'mon now.
And where, of course, were the guys on this list? Don't they get a mention? I mean no hottest list is complete without Joe Giudice's pregnant gut and Brooks Ayers' Hallmark thieving ways, amirite?
So anyway, Complex we'll take your hot list and raise you one of our own! Behold – Reality Tea's Hottest!
CLICK CONTINUE READING FOR REALITY TEA'S MOST HOT LIST!