Holy cleavage! The first installment of last night’s Mob Wives reunion was a giant boob parade. Vivica Fox hosts, and I’m hoping she has a better handle on these broads than she did on Krayonce. Drita D’avanzo is the only one who doesn’t look like she’s hosting Kim Kardashian’s ass on her chest. Natalie Guercio is wearing what can only be described as a chain metal gladiator suit complete with suspenders to cover her nips. She claims it’s her warrior look, but she’s not going to be fighting anyone when she has to constantly fiddle with her hands to keep her girls from warranting their own black bar. Renee Graziano is sporting a boot-cast on her foot, and she jokes that Drita finally came after her. Oh, if only the whole reunion could be this cheery!
Karen Gravano’s return is addressed, and Renee admits that it was nice to have some support after feuding with her other friends. Natalie cites her loyalty to last season’s Alicia as the reason for her social media beef. Karen finds it ridiculous that Alicia is so upset that her father killed the father-in-law she never met. Yeah, that’s fair, right? Karen knows that these mob wannabes are just trying to ride her big Mafia coattails. Renee reminds us that you can be loyal to one friend without trashing another, but the wannabes will never be “about this life,” a phrase which may need its own t-shirt line (if one of the ladies hasn’t already beat me to it). Again, remind why these family ties are worthy of such pride? Renee can’t even. Literally.
All season, the women of Mob Wives have been gearing up for one final brawl, and last night? Well, clearly VH1’s attorneys have added some air-tight anti-violence clauses to their contracts since mid-season. Was that the finale? I am so confused. There were no previews for next week, but there was also no resolution. I’m exhausted trying to keep up with the Natalies.
Big Ang is hosting Renee Graziano at her home, and both ladies are happy they are in a better place after their knock-down-drag-out regarding Renee’s comment amount Natalie Guercio and the coke laced dollar bill. Ang is happy to see that Renee seems committed to her positive streak. Both women find it strange that Drita D’avanzo didn’t attend Renee’s spiritual rebirth, and Ang admits she hasn’t heard a peep from the friend she usually talks to several times a day. Renee wants to focus on the good and she’s ready to throw a big party. She hopes all of the ladies will come and be on their best behavior…because that always happens with this crew. She’ll remind Karen Gravano to keep it classy. Of course, if original Natalie wants to confront Natalie DiDonato about their beef, Renee will kindly step aside so the Natalies can handle their business like cage fighters.
Were you prepared for that little twist on last night’s Mob Wives? Fraudalie? Ratalie? Who to believe? Why do they even care? That’s the biggest mystery! As the episode begins, Natalie Guercio is meeting Drita D’avanzo for lunch. Did Drita borrow that third eye cut-out sweatshirt from Tamra Judge? Big Ang arrives very fashionably late in long white coat that looks like it was stolen from a 70’s pimp or that abominable claymation creature in that Christmas show about the Land of the Misfit Toys. Is that Alpaca? Ang is rehashing the holiday party and how much Natalie DiDonato gets on her nerves. All Nat D. wants to do is bitch about First Natalie. Does she ever ask anything about Ang’s life? No. Ang doesn’t have time for that, and she reveals that New Natalie now has beef with Drita. She wants to talk to Drita about her inability to choice sides. No one likes a fence straddler.
Speaking of sides, the battle lines are clearly drawn as Karen Gravano and Renee Graziano convene at Fraudalie’s house to complain about Ratalie. Of course, everyone wants to discuss why Drita wasn’t in attendance at Natalie 2.0’s party. What’s with her loyalty to Original Natalie? Nat D. believed that Drita was no nonsense, but she’s clearly a flip-flopper. Renee admits that she’s finally in a good place with everyone and her friends can work out their issues on their own time. Finally, Renee is speaking some sense! Karen and New Natalie bond over how tough it can be to have younger boyfriends. Natalie finally had to ditch hers because he was too thirsty with other girls and she tended to get violent when they fought. She’s glad that’s over with, for sure! On cue, her ex-boyfriend bursts into the backyard and accuses her of lying to him. As they scream at each other, New Natalie starts pushing him and threatening him. Renee halfheartedly yells “you shouldn’t be doing this” from across the deck. After seeing Natalie D. go after her boyfriend, Renee is a tad worried about Drita, who is usually considered the fighter of the group. She may have some competition!
I don’t know what’s up with this new Renee Graziano, but I like her! First she impressed me to no end with her humor and cooking skills on chopped. Now, her Instagram is like a love fest! I guess if I just ignore her behavior on Mob Wives, she’s a really sweet lady!
Of course, Renee has had beef with almost everyone ever cast on Mob Wives. She is still reeling from Natalie Guercio’s delicious betrayal last season, and she was once mortal enemies with Carla Facciolo. My how times have changed! Renee and Carla are now mending fences…so much so that Carla has appeared on two episodes of the show this season…with more to come, I’m sure! We have to get to the bottom of Drita D’avanzo’s sudden aversion to her former bestie!
So let’s raise a blood-filled glass to last night’s Mob Wives, shall we? Drita D’avazo and family are back from Disney World now that Lee is done with parole and was able to cross state lines. She reminisces with her daughters about their favorite memories from the Magic Kingdom. She encourages her girls to make a scrapbook for Lee so he knows how much he is loved and has a memory book of the times he missed while he was in jail. Drita coaches her girls on what to write and post, and she’s excited to surprise him with the pictures that will make him feel somewhat a part of their childhood.
After making up with her seahag friends, Natalie Guercio has planned a girls night with Drita and Big Ang to celebrate the fact that all is well in their friendship. Both Ang and Drita feel badly for ever doubting their friend. Natalie’s twins are on display, but Drita and Ang’s chest s are competing for the top spot. Natalie is glad that Fraudalie wasn’t able to negatively influence her friends. I am thrilled that now I have the nicknames “Ratalie” and “Fraudalie” to distinguish the Natalies. Natalie and Natalie 2.0 were getting too confusing!
In a statement about the upcoming season, Mob Wives creator Jennifer Graziano shares, “Philly and New York mobsters have mostly been known to be friendly with one another. The new women were an organic addition to our existing cast as even Natalie has New York roots and ties to some ‘friendly faces.’ Natalie’s spitfire ways and Alicia’s personal story about getting arrested and ‘going down’ with the mob offers a new perspective on what it means to ‘live the lifestyle’ or to be a ‘mob wife.’ We are looking forward to a fresh, new and rejuvenated season!”
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