This season’s Real Housewives of New York is all about fixing. Heather Thomson is trying to fix Bethenny Frankel. while Bethenny (and everyone else) is trying to fix Sonja Morgan. A handful of the ladies are trying to fix Ramona Singer up with a new man (God bless him, poor soul). And Kristen Taekman is praying to keep a fixed Bravo paycheck for another season. Sonja, for her part, is just trying keep her house standing up and her bathing suit parts glued together while she reaches for another drink to dull the pain of her many, many delusions of grandeur.
In her blog, Bethenny revisits the first installment of the ladies trip to Turks and Caicos, just the beginning of the wild ride to come, she says. But first, Bethenny revisits her confrontation with Kristen at Luann de Lesseps’ fashion soiree. “Let me back up and clean up the Kristen mess. I said it best at Luann’s party: I may have an opinion on the choices that someone makes in business, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to walk up and get in someone’s face about it.”
Real Housewives Of New York – when it’s too hot in the city, despite the arctic winter chill, escape to the islands of Turks and Caicos but bring the arctic chill with you! I truly did love this episode – it was old times RHONY – real friends, serious drama that wasn’t fake or fabricated, yet light-hearted frivolity and laughs.
I’ve come to love the friendship of Bethenny Frankel and Luann de Lesseps. I think they deserve their own bestie name: Bethann? Luannethy? I’ve also come to accept Kristen Taekman as being silent, but necessary – her facial expressions are the omnipotent narrator and her outfits are a pleasant diversion from such atrocities as macramé, lucite stripper heels, or neon yellow bikinis purchased from the MTV Spring Break store in 1993.
Bethenny invited a select group of ladies she likes to decorate cupcakes. Sponsored by Skinnygirl. Not to be outdone – or out boozed, rather – Ramona Singer yanks a bottle of pinot and wine glasses out of her purse. “Who carries wine around in their purse,” Bethenny snaps, caustically shoving the newest Skinnygirl beverage – replete with Skinnygirl glass – in Ramona’s hand. Bethenny should just get a food cart at this point – she can drive it everywhere! Hell, our little homeless one can even live out of it!
Over cupcakes Sonja Morganannounces she is about to pay off off her bankruptcy judgement and wants to celebrate by spending money again. That’s um… that’s really learning from your mistakes! First order of spending into bankruptcy 2.0 is taking a trip to Turks and Caicos.
Luann de Lesseps, the winner for Real Housewife of New Yorkwho remains cool under the duress of the Berkshires and Ramona Singer’sAOA party, might also be the only housewife to call out the real sh*t-stirrer of the week: Carole Radziwill, in her Bravo blog. Before getting to that, Luann reviews some of the highlights, and much of the awkwardness, that is RHONY. She shares her feelings on Bethenny Frankel mending fences with Heather Thomson after the tense/weird fish/meatball debacle at Dorinda Medley’s 50th birthday dinner. Luann confesses, “At Dorinda’s birthday dinner, I was glad to see Bethenny hug it out with Heather even if it wasn’t the sincerest move, it did calm Heather down. I understand why Bethenny would want to just chill out and enjoy the party rather than be mothered by Heather. Yet, kindness comes in many forms and Heather’s approach may irritate Bethenny, but she’s coming from a good place.” After professing being “in love at first sight” with Dorinda, Luann admits, “As for my toast being awkward, at least I had something nice to say about our hostess although I admit, not one of my best!”
Although Luann also relates to Ramona’s relief at daughter Avery coming home, she comments on the awkwardness of discussing divorce with one’s children – even grown children. “As for Ramona asking Avery ‘what should she do about Mario pursuing her again?’ — it felt awkward to me,” says Luann, “yet Avery showed a lot of maturity when she said that Ramona has to do what is best for her. I appreciated how Avery put the situation into perspective by saying that for over twenty years, her dad was a good husband and father but she’s at college, living her own life and whether or not her parents are together doesn’t really affect her as much as it would have if she were younger. I think Avery’s putting on a brave face for her mother.” Luann does astutely point out that “Ramona’s already taken over Mario’s closets so it’s not looking promising for him!”
Like many of us, Kristen Taekman just wants to channel her inner Heather and ask Bethenny Frankel:What’s your damage? On this week’s Real Housewives of New York, Kristen summons her courage to do just that. But much to Kristen’s dismay, Bethenny’s reply is, well, not a reply at all. It is more of a walking away and dismissing her like a parking valet who just dropped off Bethenny’s newest roving “home.” And thus Kristen is systematically ignored for one more episode of RHONY. In her Bravo blog, Kristen tries valiantly to spread the goodwill around to her castmates, while still whining at full volume about the fact that Bethenny just “doesn’t like her!”
Kristen begins by rehashing the Berkshires dinner, asking, “How do we get to know Bethenny if she’s got this wall up we can’t penetrate?” Well, it certainly ain’t gonna be by accusing her of badmouthing your business. Adding some over-the-top praise (complete with six whole “!!!!!!”s) for Bethenny’s business acumen, Kristen fake-gushes, “Bethenny’s brand summit! Wow! I I would have loved to have been there. It seems like one could have learned a lot! This is a perfect opportunity for Sonja [Morgan]–it’s great for her to see what her business could aspire to be! Damn I can’t believe how big Skinnygirl has become! I can only dream that Pop of Color will grow to be that big one day!
Bethenny Frankel doesn’t want us to get it twisted. She never called Kristen Taekman “dumb,” and she doesn’t have a running feud with Heather Thomson. So, then, why were those two themes a central focus in last night’s episode of the Real Housewives of New York? Bethenny shares in her Bravo blog that she “just wanted to end the dynamic with Heather.” She goes on to explain her wall/no wall (oxy)moronic way of living: “Although I am a reality star, I don’t always want the spotlight on me. I love doing reality TV, because I love the connection with the audience, the running commentary, the interaction with the women, and ultimately, the humor of it all. This doesn’t mean that when I’m going through some personal sh– that I want people up in my grill. It takes me a minute to get warm,” Bethenny explains.
Bethenny argues that making up with Heather, whether real or fake, was simply because she “just wanted to hug and make up and keep it moving.” She adds, “Aside from trying to give Sonja [Morgan] some guidance in the past, I am not on top of anyone trying to do anything. I just want to ease in and keep it easy breezy light and bright. Heather and I have different approaches.” Hitting the point home with the force of a blunt hammer, Bethenny continues, “I approached Heather, because I really didn’t want this to become some insane Housewife rivalry that it isn’t. She came on strong. I backed up. That is it. Different strokes for different folks. She is not my frenemy. Life is too short.”
I still don’t know what the hell happened on Real Housewives Of New York! One minute Bethenny Frankel was crying, the next she was hugging, the next she was building flimsy walls, the next she was eviscerating, the next she was arguing, the next she was conducting a high-powered business summit, the next she was running away, then she was apologizing. Dare I say – with all her emotional turmoil – she was acting like Kelly from Scary Island. I feel like everyone needs an instruction manual for how to operate Bethenny.
Back in the Berkshires at Dorinda Medley‘s birthday dinner, Bethenny is having a sobbing meltdown because Heather Thomson tried to smother her with a meatball like some sort of depraved Upper East Side momogul version of Aqua-Teen Hunger Force. Get the memo, Heather: Bethenny doesn’t eat! Bethenny is allergic to fish – and, also Xanax!
Then Bethenny is running around to Heather’s side of the table, eyes shining with tears (or maybe it was Skinnygirl Sparklers; who knows) hugging Heather and apologizing for the walls she’s has because everyone is trying to put her in a Skinnygirl box. “I’m over myself!” Bethenny snaps. “I just don’t want attention!” Except for the times I’ve talked to the media and put myself on reality shows!
Meghan, who is married to former MLB player Jim Edmonds, revealed they joined the show to tell their “really unique story” – of being the much-younger third wife of a former pro-athlete in a midlife crisis? of being the “hashtag cool stepmom!”
“I don’t know a lot of people who are young stepmoms. It could feel really isolating,” Meghan shares. “I want others to see that this happens and it doesn’t have to be a secret. And not only that, we have a lot of things happening in our lives.” Whoa – deep.