We all have very strong opinions about the Real Housewives – that is the understatement of the year, says Reality Tea's comment moderator, I'm sure – and we all have favorites and not so favorites! Personally, I love when nobody takes the shows too seriously, and we all have fun discussing the housewives latest fashion disasters, relationship drama, and friendship explosions.
Andy Cohen, the man responsible for bringing us the best of the best and the worst of the worst, knows the housewives better than anyone. So, when he hosted the CLIO Image Awards for excellence in fashion and beauty last week, Allure Magazine asked Andy to name the "BEST HOUSEWIFE" in several categories. Who's the best dressed? Who's Andy's ideal dinner partner? Who has the best hair and the best booty? A few of the names shocked me!
Last night on theReal Housewives of New York things got rowdy in The Berkshires. Or should I say Ramona Singer went bonkers in The Berkshires. Oh, The Berkshires – who goes there? They're just so gauche! They're so ugh – has anyone even heard of them? What are they, like a truck stop? Do they even have pinot? I mean, we know they don't have air conditioner! Who vacations without a beach? The good people all go to The Hamptons. Just ask Ramona – she's the expert on all things classy and high society. All the best society girls appear on trashy reality shows and behave like, well, trash!
Really, if LuAnn de Lesseps is any kinda friend, she'll stop taking Ramona to aerial yoga and start making her endure regular reading lessons from Class With The Countess! So Ramona happened, in The Berkshires, with the wine glass.
Before all that Sonja Morgan, takes her sexy j downtown for some business lessons from Kristen Taekman's husband Josh. Right off the bat we know this isn't going to go well because Kristen lives in a rental. A rental she can afford, but a rental nonetheless, which makes her a peasant in the eyes of Miss The Toaster Oven That Never Could!
First thing's first, Heather Thomson is the real deal and I love her for it. She isn't fake and she continues to call the other New York housewives on their BS. Oh, how I wish she would have been in the room when Ramona Singerthrew wine on Kristen Taekman. Surely she would have been as shocked as we were. But she could have said something, unlike us viewers at home, who could only stare at our TV's.
Heather Thomson just keeps keeping it real. The 'street' member of the Real Housewives of New York City recently appeared at the New York Stock Exchange as Wet Paint's parent company, Viggle, rang the opening bell. While there, Heather dished about what we have in store for us for the rest of the season, her biggest regret, if her friendships are real and which tagline is her favorite.
Let's take at trip, shall we? Will y'all travel with me to Long Island? Wait, no. How about Staten Island? Nah, that's not right either. Okay, who is up for an all expenses paid trip to Scary Island? Yes, I'd say we're all familiar with that destination!
Did the entire cast of Real Housewives of New York lose their minds (I mean, that's insinuating they had minds to begin with, but…) – someone must have spiked the pinot! Sonja Morgan is in hot water – and I don't mean in the spa hot tub. She's got a mess of financial issues that are literally drowning her. Because Ramona Singer has issues of her own, she's decided to ignore them and focus all of her animosity on taking care of Sonja. It doesn't bode well for Ramonja! Is Turtle Time dead? (Please say yes!).
Sonja has a pool day, so she and her intern hit up the local Whole Foods some refreshments and then hire a the DJ/Bar Tender. The guests? Sonja, Aviva Drescher, and Ramona. Yes – Sonja hired a DJ and bar tender for this. "If you don't feel decadent, you're doing something wrong!" Sonja explains. Something wrong like spending money on things like DJs when your iPod playlist will do just fine? Something like that decadence? #ThisIsWhyYoureBankrupt
Ramona is doing a negligee photoshoot with her dog so Avery can hang it on her dorm wall. Right – because everyone wants a calendar of their mother in over-the-hill lingerie. Holding a dog. With crazy-eyes. You know how they always say dogs resemble their master… Sonja comes over to also take photos of herself with her dog for Avery's dorm room? She yammers on about how she's now starting a men's and women's shirt collection. Meanwhile she lets her dog drink water out of Ramona's stemware.
Sonja puts on a happy face and keeps it together – she doesn't think anyone would know from looking at her how out of control her life is. She describes herself as a cat with nine-lives (and in 8 of them she forgot to put on pants!). Oh… I dunno, when I look at Sonja, I see a trainwreck.
Guess what, y'all? Aviva Drescher is going out of her way to prove she's a writer. I mean, that has to be the reason behind the most self-serving, self-pitying, condescending Bravo blog in the history of Bravo blogs (and that's saying something!) rehashing "ghostgate" while dismissing her book feud with Carole Radziwill as silly in light of great literary works like The Berenstain Bears. The Real Housewives of New York star's lame attempts at humor and witticism fall flat as she accuses her detractors of planting negative reviews on Amazon (because there is no way that someone may not really like her book). Andy Cohen should consider making a drinking game about all the times she calls Heather Thomson "street" in one entry. Aviva is just too much. I liked her last season, but this is ridiculously unattractive behavior….Avivictim for sure!
My personal opinion is that waiting too long (over a year) between seasons leaves viewers uninvested in storylines and confused. I mean we don't even remember why Aviva Drescher started hating Ramona Singer or when LuAnn de Lesseps became besties with Heather Thomson. Or when Sonja Morgan last wore underpants. It's just too frazzled. It's like trying to decipher the product names in an iKea catalog. While it's all kindsa topsy-turvy drama, it all revolves around Meviva – just the way she likes it!
Aviva is one of those women who is validated by attention – any attention – which is why she keeps confabulating drama that centers around sheer ridiculous-ness. She seemingly doesn't care how idiotic she looks so long as she's being focused upon and talked about. And God bless the crazy train of her thoughts because it's working!