Tinsley Mortimer’s been hanging around The Real Housewives Of New York for thirteen episodes, and all she has to show for it is some brown ice and a failed apartment hunt. But last night, the Bravo gods took pity/revenge on young Tinsley and threw her in the center of the drama. The true highlight, however, was Dorinda Medley putting her gangsta hat back on as she threw down with Sonja Morgan after Sonja accused her of secretly being involved in her doomed Tipsy Girl business venture last year! And I live all day, every day for Dorinda doing her weird-arm-angles-fingers-flying Back that sh*t up! rant in public.
We begin with Bethenny Frankel arriving at an Italian restaurant in the Bronx, where hopefully there’s a revolver duct taped to the toilet just in case. She wants the ladies (sans Ramona Singer) to get out of the city and experience carbs. Luann D’Agostino (are we officially calling her that now?), Carole Radziwill, Sonja, Dorinda, and Tinsley show up to take part in this social experiment. Because she’s always down for the cause, Dorinda even shows up already half in the bag.
After all, Dorinda is the one who introduced Luann and Tom in the first place, so of course she’s going to support the newlyweds. Plus it’s really just ridiculous that Ramona is still trying to push their buttons even though they are legally married.
Bethenny also had a lot to say about the new girl Tinsley Mortimer, which is pretty surprising considering that she doesn’t have much a story line this season, but then again there’s pretty much nothing going on so far. Hopefully it picks up, but in the mean time, as her last name suggests, Bethenny has some surprisingly strong opinions about Tinsley’s return to the Big Apple.
On last night’s Real Housewives Of New York, Carole Radziwill and Dorinda Medley take it to the streets, heading to D.C. for the Women’s March, while back in NYC Ramona Singer shellacs her hair back in a tragic Blonde-Ambition-meets-Pinot-and-Ambien look and throws a party with the shadiest guest list she can summon. Ramona’s informant friend Missy, who accused Tom D’Agostino of snogging her in a limo while concurrently being engaged to Luann De Lesseps, is resurrected from her UES cryogenic chamber for the evening to confront the recently married couple. Meanwhile, Tinsley Mortimer continues planning her escape, and Sonja Morgan tries to understand what the hell Frenchie is saying.
We begin with Tinsley and Carole meeting for lunch, where they break Tinsley’s sad situation down: She’s living with an oppressive tyrant and needs to move out. Her mom is coming into town to help her apartment hunt, in fact. Carole and Tinsley were also invited to the Winter Botanical Garden, which solidified them as new “pals” in the social rags. It also helped Tinsley’s socialite comeback tour, which she still sadly imagines is real.
To kick off this week’s roundup of the reality TV stars’ Instagram pics, we have Real Housewives of New York star Dorinda Medley doing what she does best: making us laugh. “I told you I never waste food,” she joked, “#summerfun #lettucesee.”
I don’t know about y’all, but the Countess has taught me everything I know about social graces. No, money really can’t buy you class. If she hadn’t shared that kernel of wisdom, I certainly wouldn’t have learned it from the bevy of reality stars that clog up my Bravo programming. Also, don’t be all uncool. Who wants to be uncool in the eyes of Luann de Lesseps D’Agostino? Not this girl, that’s for sure!
As you know, the Real Housewives of New York star tied the knot to her controversial beau Tom D’Agostino on the latest episode, proving, yet again, that money doesn’t buy class, but it can cause a middle aged woman to turn a blind eye to said new husband’s blatant shenanigans by going through with a very elegant wedding ceremony. And, might I add, what we know about elegance is thanks to Luann. It’s learned, my friend. Now, I’m going to pour out some of my Ramona Singer pinot for the Countess, as she is no longer, but what a great ride it was.
Bethenny breaks down her thoughts on this week’s episode, which she says was certainly easier to live through than last. “Well, this week was a little lighter,” she comments. “If I can host a party where Dorinda Medley experiences ‘just the tip’ and Carole Radziwill swigs from a luge, then my holiday work is done.” Bethenny’s marketing and sales work is done too, I assume, as that holiday party obviously was one giant Skinnygirl commercial.
After months of deflection, derailment, and Tom D’Agostino’s devilish doings, Countess Luann de Lesseps finally married the man who offers her the lifestyle of her dreams. Yes, Mrs. Luann D’Agostino is now a commoner! Jet setting to Palm Beach, vacationing in Aspen, lolling around the balcony of her Manhattan penthouse wondering whether she should eat another peeled grape. In short, she’s just like us! If we were filthy rich and married to questionable dudes. But the ladies of The Real Housewives Of New York aren’t quite done questioning Luann’s every move, and they have another chance to openly gawk at her happiness when she invites them to a post-wedding celebration.
Speaking of parties, Bethenny Frankel hosts one of her own – but guess who’s not invited? Okay, we all know it’s Ramona Singer. Because homegirl went NUCLEAR last week in the Berkshires and is persona non grata to both Bethenny and Dorinda Medley now. Poor Dorinda is still resurrecting her house from the Ramonsoon that all but destroyed the joint, not to mention Sonja Morgan jacking her PJ’s in broad daylight! There’s also moving afoot. As in: Adam moving out of Carole Radziwill’slitterbox apartment, and Frenchie moving into Sonja’s townhouse. Tinsley Mortimer, as always, is left pondering the life choices that brought her to this tragic rung on the downwardly mobile socialite ladder.