We begin with the group arriving in Mexico, where Bethenny already has the sh*ts – or the flu – or spontaneous diarrhea in response to staring at what little skin remains on Ramona’s face (courtesy of a chemical peel). Carole Radziwill is looking forward to Taco Bell and to congratulating herself on her matchmaking skills with Tinsley and Scott. They are an official item! The ladies play “marry, f–k, kill” in the car on the way to their rental, then take a gander at a stray d*ck pic Sonja Morgan received on her phone from a wrong number. If anything, this is an omen of things to come.
Well it’s been a roller coaster season of Real Housewives Of New York – a Ramonacoaster season to be exact! Last week the ladies filmed the season 9 reunion which was sure to be as insane as it was vitriolic because in the Big Apple they do everything bigger and um, well, bigger!
Sonja Morgan dished that after a season of emotional outbursts and shifting loyalties (aka no loyalties) Ramona Singer is in the hottest seat of all. We all know how Ramona likes to keep things hot flashed!
As The Real Housewives Of New York get ready for their Mexico trip, sponsored by Skinnygirl (TM)Bethenny Frankel, Tinsley Mortimer decides to mimic her favorite gradeschool character by moving into a room on the tippy top floor! (Eloise shout out) of her favorite hotel. Because she’s a grownup now and thinks this will prove it. Plus, moving furniture is just too overwhelming – as is walking, thinking, breathing, and blinking for dear Tins. In fact, she’s getting the vapors just thinking about it all. She just wants to kiss random men in public (like the one Carole Radziwill sets her up with) and get her blowouts on the UES, where room service and clean towels rain down from heaven!!!
Good thing Sonja Morgan’s new eyebrows have been painted solidly to her face, so she’s able to make the wide assortment of facial expressions necessary when Tinsley announces her big-girl plans at dinner. Meanwhile, Ramona Singer’s also got a few facial contortions expressions in store for Bethenny, who sits down with her frenemy to discuss her trip invite – or lack thereof.
It seems everyone has survived their first night in Vermont. Bethenny Frankellocking Luann in the basement hasn’t actually killed the NEW BRIDE, so the ladies are free to indulge in avocado toast before hitting the slopes. While Ramona Singerbrings her sister-wife, Sonja Morgan, coffee in bed, Bethenny apologizes to Tinsley Mortimerfor being cold to her at dinner the previous night. She’s going through her own relationship hell, so she doesn’t need to be piling on anyone else about theirs. Tinsley feels slightly relieved that she’ll be attacked by one less Housewife on this trip, but she’s still generally overwhelmed (because that is her default setting).
It’s National Bikini Day – a holiday you have never heard of, but it’s the perfect opportunity for a photo roundup of our favorite reality stars wearing bikinis.
Above, Real Housewives Of Beverly Hillsstar Lisa Rinna combined her two loves – baring everything and her lips. “HH brought me back a Lips Bikini. Yes my hair is different in this shot. And Yes I’m 53. And yes I f–king own it.”
Tinsley Mortimer’s been hanging around The Real Housewives Of New York for thirteen episodes, and all she has to show for it is some brown ice and a failed apartment hunt. But last night, the Bravo gods took pity/revenge on young Tinsley and threw her in the center of the drama. The true highlight, however, was Dorinda Medley putting her gangsta hat back on as she threw down with Sonja Morgan after Sonja accused her of secretly being involved in her doomed Tipsy Girl business venture last year! And I live all day, every day for Dorinda doing her weird-arm-angles-fingers-flying Back that sh*t up! rant in public.
We begin with Bethenny Frankel arriving at an Italian restaurant in the Bronx, where hopefully there’s a revolver duct taped to the toilet just in case. She wants the ladies (sans Ramona Singer) to get out of the city and experience carbs. Luann D’Agostino (are we officially calling her that now?), Carole Radziwill, Sonja, Dorinda, and Tinsley show up to take part in this social experiment. Because she’s always down for the cause, Dorinda even shows up already half in the bag.