Please tell me the finale is not about Tom! It’s about Tom. And what a bittersweet ending The Real Housewives Of New York is giving us this season. Not even twenty-four hours after the ladies’ awesomely insane Mexico trip aired, Luann de Lesseps (yes, we’re back to the old name) announced she’d filed for divorce from Tom D’Agostino, who she’s spent the last eighteen episodes defending as the man who would make all of her dreams come true. In the end, poor Luann traded Countess for Wife, and all she had to show for it was Eggs a la Francaise on her face. But I’m here for single Lu ALL day, EVERY day. So perhaps, eighty-sixing Tom right smack on the heels of Luann totally rocking that Mexico vaycay is perfect timing after all. And given Tom’s (unsurprising) shady behavior last night, Luann’s move to kick his sorry, lying, cheating, de-mic’d a$$ to the curb deserves an extra champagne toast. Hurrah!!!
Much like the best house party you ever attended freshmen year, last night’s Real Housewives Of New York came replete with drunken makeout sessions, naked crying in the pool, and knifings. Yes – it was epic. And I may be fangirling out so hard that I have blinders on, but I’ll say it again: This Mexico trip is serving up some of the best Housewives moments in recent memory. It’s a rare gift, and we totally deserve it after suffering through the Tom and Luann D’Agostino [de Lesseps] wedding snooze fest for eight straight episodes!
We pick up with Sonja Morgan “therapizing” Ramona Singer by the pool. She wants Ramona to admit she’s not happy. Why? Because she’s not getting banged by Mario every nightbut some other chick is. Fresh off her 10 minute month sobriety, Sonja is feeling loose on tequila and truth. Bethenny Frankel thinks Sonja needs to back the eff off though, shockingly defending Ramona against Sonja’s drunken tirade. Ramona screams that she’s happy, but admits she misses having a man.
Believe it or not, every Real Housewives of New York news story doesn’t automatically have to be about drama or alleged adultery. Sometimes light and fluffy can be just as entertaining- not always, but here and there it is true. While the fandom is still watching this infamous Mexico trip play out, Bethenny Frankel has revealed her favorite person in the cast to travel with.
Surprisingly enough, it’s actually not her BFF Carole Radziwill. Speaking of Carole, she is actually preparing to run the New York City Marathon for a great cause.
The morning after Sonja Morgan and Ramona tore through rooms like Hurricane Crazy, the group awakens to a new day. Dorinda and Luann are practicing yoga on the patio while Carole Radziwill is inside demanding bean-free huevos rancheros. Luann is relieved to be alive, and without a scratch to boot! Tinsley Mortimer is giddy over the enormous bouquet of flowers delivered to her from new boyfriend, Scott. She’ll have to stick a pin in that joy for now, though, because there are fights to be had! Namely, between Ramona and Bethenny.
After giving up her room to Ramona Singer and Sonja Morgan in Vermont, Dorinda Medley finally put her foot down in Mexico. When The Real Housewives Of New York ladies arrived at their beautiful rental house, Dorinda almost gave in again to the spastic fits of Grabby and Greedy – until Bethenny Frankelpractically tasered someone stepped in to break up the madness. In her blog, Dorinda reflects on what she calls “the worst” behavior she’s seen from the likes of Ramona and Sonja.
Dorinda recounts the events leading up to that point, beginning with the car ride: “Well we finally made it to Mexico, and yes, Ramona is with us!…I was personally ready to get in the car, have a quiet ride to the house, have a welcome drink, and go to the beach. But alas, that never happens, does it? The ride involved Sonja going on about a mistaken picture of someone’s private parts sent by mistake, and a game of kill, marry, and, well, you know the rest. As you can see by my actions, I had very little interest in either. By the way, who gets a penis picture by mistake?” Well, Sonja does. That’s who!
Ramona Singer and Sonja Morgan racing through rental properties like hellhounds in heat is not a new sight for loyal viewers of The Real Housewives Of New York. For Tinsley Mortimer, however, it was a brand new obnoxious experience! And she’s still a bit shell shocked from it. In her blog, Tinsley calls out Ramona’s enormous sense of entitlement, and her egging-on Sonja to be angry at Tinsley for not handing her room over to them instead of trip organizer, Bethenny Frankel.
First, Tinsley gushes about her new man, Scott, who Carole Radziwill set her up with – and who she’s still seeing! “Having just come off a super fun and spontaneous five-day-long date with Scott, I was feeling super rested and happy and excited for a fun girls’ trip to Mexico. We were having so much fun that first night that Scott decided we should continue the date in Miami where we spent another four amazing days together. Thanks to Carole, this is the most exciting thing that’s ever happened to me. I can’t believe how lucky I feel to have met Scott!”
We begin with the group arriving in Mexico, where Bethenny already has the sh*ts – or the flu – or spontaneous diarrhea in response to staring at what little skin remains on Ramona’s face (courtesy of a chemical peel). Carole Radziwill is looking forward to Taco Bell and to congratulating herself on her matchmaking skills with Tinsley and Scott. They are an official item! The ladies play “marry, f–k, kill” in the car on the way to their rental, then take a gander at a stray d*ck pic Sonja Morgan received on her phone from a wrong number. If anything, this is an omen of things to come.