Clearly the powers that be at Andy Cohen Headquarters decided to put all the super crazies together to form some sort of cosmic force of intense delusion. The loose grasp of reality that was tenuously tying Ramona, Sonja, Aviva (Ramonjava?) to the world evaporated right there on stage. Of course “IT’S ALLEGATIONS!” that they’re insane. “ALLEGATIONS!”
We open with Sonja Morgan discussing why she needs 9,000 interns. I want to know how many have lodged complaints with OSHA but Andy never asks the hard questions. She claims colleges give credits to these kids spending a semester learning Mac Calendar – scheduling Mrs. Morgan’s busy life of partying on her yacht with P. Diddy is “the hardest thing.” It takes a lot of creativity to completely fabricate Mrs. Morgan’s importance!
I finally figured what Sonja Morgan and Aviva Drescher like about each other – they’re both totally and utterly delusional! And they reinforce each other’s delusions. Seriously – was there a psychiatrist waiting in the wings of the Real Housewives of New York reunion?
Kristen Taekman got new boobs. As an anniversary present. Is this like a thing now – getting new boobs for the reunion? Ladies – the suddenly ballooning mummeries does not distract us from the drama.
Of course, almost immediately Kristen and Aviva are at each other’s throats over all of their arguments this season; specifically the time Aviva told Kristen to “Shut the f–k up” in front of their kids. Aviva does not apologize. At all. In fact she denounces Kristen as a “rookie” (I see someone has been rehearsing their insults in the mirror again!) and dismisses the whole things perfectly fine and normal. I mean kids hear the f-word. No biggie. I mean it’s just a word.
After having her career questioned along with her integrity – and having to put up with a season of Sonja Morgan‘s delusions, Carole has had enough and is calling BS on this season’s shenanigans!
First she outs Sonja as a liar who tried to make LuAnn de Lesseps look bad for her own benefit! Carole reveals that Sonja’s revisionist history about her sprained leg and chasing Harry down the street to claim her one true love! “Sonja may have run through the streets of New York chasing Harry (which, she didn’t) but then she fell and sprained her ankle, drunk in the same club with Harry and LuAnn and Heather [Thomson] and Jonathan,” Carole states.
I’m sure Aviva Drescher is trying to take credit for it, but it was less about a leg being thrown across Le Cirque (seriously was this not the scene from a David Foster Wallace novel, or what?!) and more about the reactions of the other ladies – specifically LuAnn de Lesseps who literally burst into uncontrollable laughter and couldn’t stop.
Before all of that we have to dismantle the curious case of who got hairy with Harry. Sonja Morgan is reclining in bed, surrounded by interns of a frightened nature, one leg is propped on her pillow – tonight’s episode is clearly full of leg drama. Ramona Singer comes over to see her “Sonja-Bonja” which really is the most apt nickname ever. Sonja Bonja. Say ‘Bonja’ out loud and then laugh cause we all know Sonja likes to bone ya! I digress…
Ramona has Kristen Taekman with her because now that Aviva has outed herself as full-scale allergic to sanity, they need a tagalong to pour their wine. Pinot and Commando are adopting, y’all! Hide your impressionable youngish 30-something quarter-life crisis friends.
Last night on Real Housewives of New York we celebrated the contrast between good and evil as if that isn’t the perpetual theme of these shows.
Carole Radziwill is turning 50 and wants to celebrate with an over-the-top party in the theme of Good vs. Evil, or basically Ramona and Aviva vs. Carole. Carole enlists her bestie Heather Thomson to plan it but her list of demands is staggering. Things Carole wants for her birthday party: butterflies, chandeliers from her house hung up at the restaurant, headless mannequins, a snake charmer, shiny red apples, a psychic (are we sure she doesn’t mean a psychiatrist?), fire breathing dragons with angels on their wings, 30 dozen white rose petals, the 12 horsemen of the apocalypse, three french hens, and a partridge in a pear tree. Oh and 6 well behaved Housewives, but we all know that ain’t gonna happen!
Heather decides to just be in charge of the booze and hires a party planner stat.
Last night our ladies of the Empire State were finally back where they belonged – in Manhattan! Despite the calming days in Montana, a key Real Housewives of New York friendship is seeming to detonate!
Much like Survivor, these ladies are stranded on an island and forced into alliances. But Sonja Morgan is switching up the game. While interviewing a new intern in her backyard (which we so do not care about in the least), she’s wearing a fabulous military-inspired dress and preparing for friendship warfare. Into the garden wanders Aviva Drescher. Long time no see – and not missed!
Sonja immediately lobs a grenade – the entire trip all the girls were talking about Aviva (They were?) – but worst of all was Ramona Singer who accused Aviva of lying about asthma because she is afraid to travel without Reid.
She begins, "I shouldn't say Kristen or Carole are bad hostesses. They just don't have the experience I have. It's been my business for decades now. I throw parties every week. I have dinner every night at my home, for no less then five people on average, and sometimes I have last minute dinners for tens of people impromptu. I'm asked many times to organize a Sonja In the City event in a matter of days. When someone else's plan falls through they can always count on me. I also have huge team of people I have cultivated over years to do public relations, sponsor events, perform, help with the invites, RSVPs, decor, and anything you can think of when throwing throwing an event. For example the Sonja In The City charity event in East Hampton became tricky because I needed places for 90 actors, Broadway performers, dancers, and singers to stay. That was not easy, but my contacts over the years came through. Hotels, homes, yachts, you name it, they stayed there."