I generally like to keep my problems away from water, but I guess that’s not the case with the Real Housewives of New Jerseywho took their fighting to a Rock of Love level when things got dramatic in and around the hot tub of horrors. Sadly Bret Michaels did not arrive to bust into a hair metal anthem. #why? Luckily there were sequins. As one of our twitter followers pointed out, you can cut a bitch with a sequined bikini. Where do they buy these things?
So there they all were in some insanely hideous bikinis, hair and make-up done up to the nines, guzzling wine by the gallon, and shrieking at each other like mongooses so that it echoed through the vineyards of Napa and awoke a dreaming Vivendi Wine owner in his sleep. ‘Oh, no… ‘ he thought… ‘The meerkats have gotten into the grapes again.’ Nope, just some delusional women embarrassing themselves on national TV! Grapes are fine, viewers of RHONJ not so much! Pack your alibis and let’s go!
Our favorite reality TV stars can’t get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to Twitter to give us an hourly play-by-play of their lives. And we love them for it! Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite photos from the Twitterverse this week! Enjoy!
Above: Snooki is down to her “final days” of her pregnancy! She shared, “My family ❤”.
Ahhhh… New Jersey, where class goes to die. Oh, I joke! What I should say isReal Housewives of New Jersey– where class goes to die. So Chris Laurita tried to be all sophisticated-like and invite these imbeciles to a vineyard he is hoping to sign a business deal with. So, just read that sentence back to yourself again and then pause – no logic, right? Well, I guess he needed Bravo to expense his business trip.
This episode had a lot going on from friendship and family drama to marital discord, but the important thing, the crazy thing, the most ridiculous thing was Joe Giudice andAlbert Manzo‘s highly intense discussion about KFC. Was there or was there not a KFC on some street, in some random Jersey suburb?! There they are on a bus bitching about biscuits. This warrants a very terse and snippy discussion peppered with F-bombs and lots of ‘I ate extra crispy every day dammit, I know where the bleeping KFC is dumb a$$.’ “You’re a loser!” Albert yells. Yeah… grown men over there!
Last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey, the ladies (and their omnipresent hardworking spouses) proved that when push comes to shove and contracts are on the line, they can get along like really, really well. In fact the only people not pasting on their happy faces were Caroline Manzo and husband Albert – who I was surprised to hear speak last night.
Things begin with a wake-up binge drink-a-thon amongst the men. The gang decides they are going surfing despite the freezing cold water and their inebriated state of mind. Everyone except Caroline and Al. They prefer whine to wine. Jacqueline Laurita is also sitting this one out because she feels too fat to wear a wetsuit. Didn’t she have this problem last vacation?
Never willing to spare anyone’s feelings both Teresa Giudice and separated at birth sister-in-law Melissa Gorga both strap on some of their more bodacious, sparkly, and revealing bathing suits. ‘LOOK! I’m not fat!’ they both practically shout. The guys are wiping out left and right when Teresa and Kathy Wakile decide to try out their surfboard skills. Melissa is staying ashore to “keep it sexy,” which apparently equals bedazzled. Very, very bedazzled. Like blindingly so.
Once Dina quit reality TV, her relationship with Caroline and sister-in-law Jacqueline Laurita fell apart. Caroline has blamed Teresa for the falling out and Dina has vehemently denied this. On a recent appearance on Watch What Happens Live, Dina discussed her current relationship with Caroline and why things went awry.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t really think it’s really respectful to call your wife a C U next Tuesday, especially when you’re wearing a mic and being followed by Bravo cameras. Of course, that is exactly what Juicy Joe did, and it will apparently air on this coming episode of RHONJ.