First of all I have to admit I spend way WAY too much time analyzing the antics of the Housewife. They are an odd specimen, aren't they? And Real Housewives of New Jersey in particular. Although those ladies leave me wanting to turn into Pinot Fabulous Singer and just get sloshied all day, I have to admit they really keep it interesting from the psychological perspective.
Which leads me to last nights FINAL season finale of RHONJ. And out it all came like projectile vomit. Except I was left with way more questions than I had to begin with. I mean will I ever get the answers I'm looking for or will I die questing to know what exactly happened at the infamous S4 Posche Trashion Show? I guess if I can ever manage to get stranded on a desert island with Teresa Giudice I might learn the truth, but until then all I'm left with is an an aneurysm from wonder and a seriously large bill for TherapyByBravo. You're paying for this right @bravo_andy?
It is not often that a Housewives show rivals that of a Shakespearean drama with so many higher level plot points circulating around. I literally feel dizzy. Bravo has truly outdone themselves, but they've also truly over done themselves and I don't think they can ever come back from the edge with this one.
Real Housewives of New Jersey has been like the black plague this season. It's been all dark, dreary, and depressing. And just when things were starting to get semi-good between some of the castmates the annual Posche Fashion Show – the epi-center of all things drama on RHONJ – showed up and all went to hell in a handbasket!
Well, apparently the fourth season will be the last for the PFS (what will Kim D do with her life now?) as Bravo is not filming it for the fifth season! Despite the fact that the show will happen on October 2nd at THE BROWNSTONE of all places, Bravo cameras will be absent according to NorthJersey.com because they have no idea what ladies will even be returning for season five!
EEERRRK! Hit the brakes! Didn't MelissaGorga just complain about Teresa Giudice continuing her friendship with Kim D after she caused all that drama in her life? But Caroline Manzo and Jacqueline Laurita get a pass? Well, I guess family is family and co-stars you aren't really friends with but pretend to like for the sake of a storyline on your reality show are another thing. BTW, Jacqueline wore a top from Posche in her People cover. I can't keep up with these ever-changing pseudo-friendships!
Were you left sitting at home, drying your tears because Jacqueline Laurita'sSparkling Event for Austim Speaks was all sold out? Don't fret, as we have all the behind-the-scenes scoop for you!!
Tom Murro of Fox Morning Extra dished the deets with us on the event, which drew in support from Jacqueline'sRHONJ co-stars Caroline Manzo and her crew (the hubby and all three kids), especially since the event was held at the Brownstone. According to Tom, there was "no sign of Teresa, the Gorgas or Wakiles." Adding that "Caroline was sweet".
Jacqs gave a speech to the crowd and admitted that she was nervous about it. Tom shared, "Jax admitted she was quite nervous, more specifically- ''scared shit'' about giving a speech in front of the crowd, she said it's very different from being in front of camera, but she pulled it off, speaking about her son and all children with Autism. Her speech kicked ass, was from the heart, and brought tears to many guests eyes."
Well, well… what have we here. Is it Melissa Gorga appearing on the cover of a tabloid, which she undoubtedly got paid to be on, bashing co-star Teresa Giudice? I mean no big right – except for the fact that we just spent an ENTIRE season of Real Housewives of New Jersey discussing how Teresa was a terrible person for doing just that!
Oh my how the tables have turned. Spin, spin, spin Melissa – gotta get that story out. Now, I fully (and I mean FULLY) expect Teresa to be next with some bigger badder media (Extra?, 20/20? People? OPRAH?) hopping out there to do the same, but I just find it very ironic after all Melissa's lambasting about how Teresa was using her friends and families to make money and get attention. Hypocrite or is Teresa just getting what she deserves?
Me thinks Melissa's real annoyance with tabloid-gate was that no one wanted to put her pretty face on the cover of a magazine. Well, except for that free New Jersey weekly. Lady Gorga, anyone? Anyway, now here she is! She's got a story and now she's got a cover. So let's see what Lady Gorga has to say, shall we.
CLICK CONTINUE READING FOR MELISSA'S TAKE ON STRIPPER-GATE!
Sometimes Real Housewives of New Jersey is the gift that keeps on giving. And sometimes it's the white elephant present that gets passed round and round at the party cause nobody wants to take it home. After last night's episode I have come to deduce two things: 1) That Kim D and the producers are crazy, maniacal, and will do anything for drama – hence setting up both Teresa GiudiceANDMelissa Gorga OR 2) Teresa is the world's best actress, has truly missed her calling, and needs to get on Broadway ASAP.
I'll do my best to remain neutral in this recap because I have my own opinion on what's going on – regardless of what the other members of the RHONJ are attempting to spin. So it's just check my sanity at the door here and suspend my rational thoughts – you know like any good Jersey Housewife!
And I'll also do my best to remain positive, because when it's all said and done this wasn't a bad episode. For the most part everyone was nice to each other, respectful, and got along. Well, except for Richie Wakile who is doing his damnedest to stay relevant and carve himself a niche in the show. More on him in a minute.
Following Monday's crazy St. Barths finale I have a feeling the Real Housewives of New York still haven't recovered from the vacation no one ever needed (or wanted!). Thanks Bravo.
Heather Thomson managed to be in a small minority (re: party of two) of people who didn't embarrass the hell out of themselves and lose their sanity (or their underwear), which is commendable given the environment. Again, thanks Bravo!
When asked if the show has changed her life – or her business – Heather agreed that there was definitely a "big change".
"When I first signed on for the show, I expected it to be a really four solid months of my life. It's not. It's a year, it's a full-time job. It never stops. I mean, from filming the show to the talking heads, the interviews, appearing on Andy [Cohen]'s show, to the press that you do to support the show and the cast — and of course I'm not going to not do all of that — so it's always on my agenda, every week. Even when we're done filming."
Apparently all about life – and her acrimonious relationships with Teresa Giudice and Danielle Staub! "Without a doubt. I talk about that too and how that affected me," Caroline informs Celebuzz.
"Because in my reality, that would have never happened. I would’ve chosen to walk away and just stay out of that person’s life but because you do the show you’re around them. You don’t have the option. And at the same time not having the option, you have to make a decision: Do I worry about losing fans or do I worry about being true to myself? And it’s that struggle, as well, that I talk about."
Last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey there was a lot build up for it to go splat! But there were a lot of nice moments too. All in all, it was a great simmer episode to sandwich between two extreme crazy ones. And I guess next week we'll see just how much Teresa Giudice is to blame for all the stripper rumors.
Anyway, it's the first day of school and while it would appear that none of the adults have attended that archaic institution for, like, learning, the actual children are all off. Milania is going into kindergarten and Antonia starts first grade.
Poison Gorga is making pancakes and I think the only ingredientzes is Country Crock margarine because they must have showed us about 60 close-up shots of the tub. I wonder if this means the Gorgas are going to be busting out a cookbook and stepping on Chef Tre's toes? Uh-oh! Oh no, wait that's just Kathy Wakile! Because in the whole world only one person at a time can write a cookbook…
In the Giudice house Teresa is rushing around waking up all the girls. She gets out their tutus while Juicy makes lunches – he packed red wine, sausages, salami, and some uncooked pasta noodles – oh, and provolone. I love Milania's tutu! Milania is my homegirl and she's off to terrorize some far less wily 5-year-olds.