Last night was the first part of the Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion. Right off the bat the vibe was immediately much different than last years – which was awesome. Teresa Giudice seemed relaxed-ish and confident. Jacqueline Laurita had great hair. And Caroline Manzo's head wasn't smoking. So yay for progress. Everyone was very orange though, but you know it could've been my TV.
Andy Cohen jumps right in. It's clear that some people really either took to heart the therapy and forgiveness, while others cannot and will not let go. Maybe some people really do value their friendships over a show, or maybe it's because they're leaving they want to go out on a good note – whatever.
Caroline has definitely decided that since she is officially done with this show, it's time to get. honest. And getting honest means calling Melissa Gorgaout! Caroline points out that Melissa and Teresa are eerily similar in many ways. While Teresa blinks profusely and thinks carefully about what the word "similar" means, Melissa gets combative and denies, denies, denies! "We're nothing alike. If we were alike, we'd be able to get along," she insists. Melissa insists that at their core she and Teresa are different people. Good thing she cleared that up cause on the surface they're both materialistic, self-absorbed, attention whores! And at their core, they're both rotten!
From the look of the previews, we'll be getting some rehashes of the cheating rumors, the Posche drama (what's allowed legally anyway!), refreshers on the therapy retreats, and even touching a bit on the Joe & Teresafraud charges.
We initially thought the reunion was going to be another three part extravaganza like last year, but it's actually only two this time around – with a twist. The reunion shows will run 90 minutes each instead of one hour.
Caroline has made no secret that she wishes Al were more present in their marriage and would consider retiring. But now sources tell Perez Hilton that their marriage is majorly on the rocks and Caroline is forcing Al to spend time with her! They do seem really disconnected, I mean he seems like he never wants to be around. Sad.
After suffering through the last Posche Fashion Fiasco she'll ever have to endure, Caroline reflects on the tumultuous season 5 ups and downs and is happy with how things ended. Here's hoping she's not singing a different tune after the reunion – which is allegedly very cathartic!
"The fight at Moxie was awful and pretty ugly to witness," Caroline begins in her Bravo blog. "I will never understand the motivation behind the attack on Melissa [Gorga], Joe, Chris, andJacqueline [Laurita]. Complete strangers were willing to take marching orders to hurt people they've never, ever met before. Somebody tell me why, I don't get it. That's all the attention this mess gets, not worth my time. Shame on all of you."
Last night was the much awaited season finale of Real Housewives of New Jersey. And I mean much awaited because we are all desperate to escape the meandering Gorgadice feud storyline which has dominated the show for three seasons.
With majorly dropping ratings this season, we're hoping next season is a season of change. But until then, our favorite existing Jersey stars weigh in on last night's episode.
Teresa Giudice did not comment – clearly her appearance on WWHLsaid enough. As for Melissa Gorga she used the opportunity to promote her various endeavors – currently a controversial "marriage bible" – and retweeted that this season had the "perfect ending". OooooKaaaay.
Last night was the season finale of Real Housewives of New Jersey. I don't know why they bothered taping one this season since it was pretty much a complete rehash of last season's! Of course things ended on a much better note, so there's that – and it seemed as if Teresa Giudice and Joe Gorga had finally taken the steps towards the slow, treacly path to rebuilding… But then we saw WWHL. So, anyway – Deja-Jersey!
Apparently all things Jersey must end with Posche. #Posche4Life. Kim D has some magic clutches on the producers of RHONJ – I mean how on earth has she roped them into filming her event three seasons running?! It starts with Penny Karagiorgis squaring off against Teresa. Did Teresa tell Penny all about the misdeeds of her sister-in-law Melissa Gorga? Penny says yes, Teresa says no. I say (as does Joe Giudice): "Who cares?!"
Penny reveals she has Teresa's phone number in her phone but there's no proof they've communicated as she doesn't save "texez" – or "Texas" if you're Teresa. Then Johnny, Penny's large, not in charge, husband appears to defend his wife and take Poison down to size (invisible?), or something. He's got texas and tweets galore and he's also got Poison breathing down his neck like a steroid-engineered gnome. Little man feisty. Little man get mad. Little man attack. Rawr!
Caroline Manzo has already landed a spinoff aptly titled 'Manzo'd With Children' and in light of that has opted to leave the show. At least temporarily while she shoots a pilot for her new show! Some sources say Caroline may come back pending the spinoff's success, others say she is officially done!
My Magic Hate Ball predicts 'Try Again', Caro! I'm sorry while I think they're a sweet family, they just don't have much charisma or presence. I think that will be super boring to watch.