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Chad Johnson

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Can I get a slow clap for Chad Johnson Ochocinco Johnson Johnson, please?  The man is unbelievable.  Not only has he been shuffled around the NFL before being fired, he's a literary master at making pizza box metaphors, a D-list playboy, a head-butter, and a reality star who knows that there is no shame in needing subtitles when asking his then fiance Evelyn Lozada how she feels about a threesome.  There is something about that level of shamelessness that deserves some sort of credit.  And gag.

As you all know, Chad can also add amateur porn star to his stellar resume.  Someone leaked a sex tape of Chad and a tatted mistress doing the dirty, and said video was leaked by some media outlets.  Wow, Basketball Wives' Evelyn is certainly a lucky lady as she and her former husband continue to "work on themselves."

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Before anyone jumps to conclusions about the above photo it seems that looks can be deceiving. Maybe. Or maybe not.

Evelyn Lozada and Chad Johnson have the unique distinction of having the most ridiculous engagement and shortest marriage in reality TV history. 

Last night the Basketball Wives couple was spotted at a dinner together smiling and looking friendly! One photo even captured them holding hands. Say what? In response the blogs jumped on the 'Evelyn and Chad are back together!' bandwagon. Which is just the publicity Evelyn was looking for. 

Evelyn quickly (like quicker than she divorced) took to her blog to set the record straight. "It seems as though things have gotten a wee bit out of control," she began. 

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I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news – and please don't blame the messenger – but if you were dying to have something in common with Evelyn Lozada (and thousands of other women) and see Chad Johnson naked, you've lost your chance!

Days after a verified Chad sex tape started circling round the net, the Basketball Wives star contacted the FBI to open a fornication file about its illegal distribution, which he claims was hacked from his cell phone. And who keeps sex tapes on their phone I wonder? Kris Jenner? Kim K?

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children mending hearts 170410

So, this is surprising. NOT! Too bad it didn't hit the market in time for Christmas but Evelyn Lozada's ex-husband Chad Johnson is a sex tape star – and he admits it! 

And no, Evelyn isn't in it! The tape contains Chad and two other women and was made about three years ago in Florida. No word on whether or not Chad was dating Basketball Wives star Evelyn at the time! Chad insists he never wanted the tape to go public. But yeah, that's what they all say!

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Evelyn Lozada has the unique distinction of having the shortest marriage in reality TV history. She's even beat out the illustrious record set by Kim Kardashian. Of course, Evelyn has a much better reason for her divorce from Chad Johnson than Kim ever did. Not only was Chad abusive towards Evelyn, she also caught him cheating mere weeks after their million dollar wedding which was also filmed for their now canceled spinoff Ev & Ocho

Evelyn and Chad quickly divorced but the Basketball Wives star reveals that she's having trouble moving on and is left with lingering questions about what led her husband to cheat. 

"I haven't spoken to Chad, we can't – we have a 'no contact' clause, but I hear things," Evelyn shares with RadarOnline. "I moved out, I took my clothes and I never looked back. I never went back to the house to pack my stuff, I had someone pack it, and I pretty much moved on with my life."

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I'm sorry, but I'm kind of at a loss for words with this one.  People aren't really this stupid are they?  I mean, Chad Ochocinco Johnson found another idiot to date him?  What gives with these women?  Not only does Chad have a new girlfriend, but he apparently wants to marry her AND she's feuding with his ex-wife Evelyn Lozada on Twitter.  Okay, so maybe that last part isn't all that shocking. 

Given that Chad and Evelyn met on Twitter, I guess I shouldn't be surprised that they are both still lurking in one another's Twitter feeds.  However, given the fact that the world watched how Chad treated Evelyn on Basketball Wives, then saw their marriage crumble after an alleged head butt, it's a wonder that anyone would want to get mixed up with either of these two.  Add in Chad's serial cheating and both of their penchants for violence, and any sane person should be staying as far away from them as possible!

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Yeah, you have to love when someone becomes all about self-help.  It's even more entertaining when that person is Chad Johnson.  Don't get me wrong, I have thought for a long time that Chad is a total d-bag, and his domestic incident with Basketball Wives' Evelyn Lozada certainly exacerbated that.  Bless him.  It appears that Mr. Ochocinco is learning a lot from calf tattoos and shame.

The former NFL star–and former husband, for that matter–is taking steps to improve his self-image temper.  Taking a page from every violent celebrity's playbook, Chad has enrolled in anger management counseling.  Good for him?

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Just one month after filing for divorce (after just 42 days of marriage), Evelyn Lozada and Chad "ochocinco" Johnson are officially divorced. Take that, Kim Kardashian!  THIS is how you get married and divorced lickety split! (Is that divorce moving at a snail's pace or what!?)

Evelyn filed the paperwork to get the ball rolling to end her union just four weeks ago.  At first Chad wasn't on board and thought he could fight to keep his marriage despite that whole headbutting/domestic violence incident.  He caved in and filed his paperwork late last week and it's already finalized and over after a Florida judge signed off on it. 

Next up for Chad is facing the misdemeanor battery charges filed against him. 

TELL US – ARE YOU SHOCKED AT HOW FAST THEY SETTLED THEIR DIVORCE? DID YOU THINK THEY'D CHANGE THEIR MINDS AT THE LAST MINUTE?

 

Photo Credit: Johnny Louis/WENN

 

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