Since we were gifted with a supersized episode of 90 Day Fiancé: Happily EverAfter for last night’s season finale, there’s a lot of dirty, filthy, stinking laundry to unpack. We haven’t quite seen the last of our six very troubled couples since they’ll be back next week and the week after for the Tell All Reunion, parts one and two. But this is possibly the last time the TLC camera crew will catch them in their natural habitats – from warehouses to flophouses to Moroccan sidewalk scenes where Nicole is about to get locked up abroad. Ah, memories.
Given the length of the episode (with many a flashback) – and my desire to not make you read a Moby Dick length recap – I’ve distilled each couples’ story down to their personal highlights reels. Or, um, lowlights – as the case may be. Here we go!
After last week’s epic throwdown between Pedro, Nicole, and THE ENTIRE FAMILY CHANTEL, we deserve to see the horrific aftermath – including the table of food that Pedro karate kicked. Mother Chantel waving around Nicole’s hair extensions while she decries Pedro and his sister as “very bad people!” is just the beginning of what’s to come. Will Chantel threaten to leave Pedro? Will River attack another innocent light fixture? It’s anybody’s guess, really.
Tonight’s three-hour finale will be the last we see of our couples from 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After until the two-part Tell All Reunion begins airing next Sunday. And pssst: Don’t forget that season two of Before The 90 Days is set to premiere Sunday, August 5th! So, we’re all set for Sunday night trainwrecks for the foreseeable future. Phew. (I was panicking there for a second.)
What is there to say about last night’s 90 Day Fiancé Happily Ever After, except thank you TLC, Sharp Entertainment, universe, and The Family Chantel. Two snaps in a circle to all you ALL. This episode was everything I didn’t know I needed in my life – and more.
When we first caught up with our couples at the beginning of the season, who knew we’d end up in fistfights over chicken wings and downgrades from firehouses? Or secret kids and canceled weddings? Okay, maybe we did see it coming. But still! It’s sort of amazing how much lower these people can go even when they’re already so obviously at rock bottom.
Yes, the fight we’ve seen teased in previews for the past two months is finally upon us. It’s Pedro and his sister Nicole versus The Family Chantel. We thought it was already “a little bit more stupider?” NOPE. Because the absolute stupidest is just around the corner.
We may have thought this season of 90 Day Fiancé Happily Ever After has gotten as stupid as possible, but like The Family Chantel prophesied: It’s about to get a little bit more stupider. And last night, allllll of the crazies came out to play! It was a jam-packed episode with stink bombs exploding in every direction, so let’s get right to it.
David’s sister Nancy is in town so, naturally, it’s time to hit her up for money. At least that’s what the agenda is in David’s world. He’s also conscripted Annie into making dinner for Sister David, even though it means he has to cough up fifty bucks at the Asian food store for shrimp. Thank goodness he still has Chris’s credit card in that billfold because this fine establishment does NOT trade in water buffalo.
It’s a great week for America, and not just because Independence Day is coming up. Next week for the first time ever, TLC is allowing viewers to weigh in on the delicious drama that our beloved 90 Day Fiancé franchise has served up over the years. On July 8, a regular 90 Day Fiancé Happily Ever After episode will be followed by a one-hour LIVE broadcast hosted by superfan comedian Michelle Collins!
Joining Michelle will be 90 Day alums Danielle Mullins-Jbali (yep, she’s apparently hanging on to that Jbali for life) and Loren Brovarnik (of Loren and “sexy Alexi” fame). TLC has also invited Tanisha Thomas (Bad Girls Club, TV host), Jordan from the Nation of Recap and – ME! Yes, I will proudly be representing reality TV fans and my podcast (Pink Shade With Erin Martin) to offer commentary on all of our favorite train wrecks. Confession: When I heard the news, I might have peed a little bit. Let’s just say I am WAY more excited about this than Azan is about marrying Nicole. #FiftySIXPercent
Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme. Both a little scared, neither one prepared…everyone on this freaking show. Okay, it’s not a fairytale, but it does involve some witches, evil spells and even a trip to the magical land of genies! Yes, this week’s 90 Day Fiance Happily Ever Aftercontinues its journey into the abyss as a sweaty, grumpy Nicole lands in Morocco with poor little May while Azan rallies as much enthusiasm as he can muster for the marriage he never wanted. Molly flees her own home to escape Luis, Anfisa tries to threaten the truth out of Jorge (um, hint: it ain’t working!), and Chantel decides she still hates Pedro’s sister as much as The Family Chantel hates driving anywhere in separate vehicles.
90 Day Fiance Happily EverAfter is back tonight with more lies, more betrayals, and “love story” that’s transported itself from a motel in Florida all the way over to Morocco. Yup, Nicole has landed. Azan’s family: Please prepare the boiled sheep head.
Previews reveal Anfisa grilling Jorge some more about his trip to the divorce lawyers, which he vehemently denied last week. Even though cameras filmed him there, his sister Lourdes was present, and producers straight up CALLED HIM OUT on the facts. When confronted with the truth, Jorge’s only defense is deny, deny, deny. Thus, the fact that he’s filming his every move on a reality show is not working out for him.