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Christi Dance Moms

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On last night's Dance Moms, Abby Lee Miller was even more psychotic than ever in light of the return of Cathy and her Candy Apples.  Cathy brought some breakdancers, Jill took Melissa's place as Abby's do-girl, and Christi…well, Christi reaches her boiling point in a way I would have never imagined. 

Melissa is very nervous about the pyramid because she knows Abby is mad at her and livid over the fourth place finish.  In fact, Abby swoops in and stares down the dancers, telling them she wants to take a long hard look at what fourth place looks like.  ALDC hasn't seen fourth place in two decades.  Someone start the violins, please.  She is the one who is choreographing and teaching the dances.  The entirety of the blame doesn't lie on a bunch of girls in elementary school.  Or am I just crazy?  Sometimes it's hard to tell…

The girls will be traveling to New Jersey for this week's competition.  MacKenzie is at the bottom of the pyramid, and Abby yanks her from the group dance.  A tearful Maddie joins her sister, and that has to be a blow given how she's used to being on top.  I really wish Abby would stop punishing these girls for their mother's bad behavior.  She rubs Maddie's nose in the fact that Chloe won at Nationals.  Paige's alleged "laziness" puts her on the lowest rung as well along with Nia for just being "fine."  Jill is estatic to see Kendall finally off the bottom, and Abby warns Kendall that she only needs to be worried when Abby no longer cares enough to criticize her dancing abilities.  How sweet.  Chloe is also in the middle for not following Abby's choreography in the way Abby envisioned it should be.  Poor Brooke is the only one left, and Abby laughs at the thought that she's at the top of the pyramid.  Just kidding!  No one takes the top spot.  Brooke will be in the group routine, and Kendall gets a solo called "Owe You Nothing."  Abby reminds her and her mother that she owes them nada.  Nia also gets a solo.  Chloe is thrilled to get the final solo, and Maddie's face drops.  The group number will have hats as props, and Abby warns that if anyone drops a hat, they will be off the team.

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