Blah, blah, mission statement, yada, yada, yada commitment ceremony. Give me something to work with, Browns! Last night's Sister Wives was more of the same as the family prepped for their big party. The yards of the cul-de-sac compound are almost complete, so that's one thing they can check off their list, but what about dresses for the wives and the actual mission statement itself? Kody jokes that with four wives it's easier to make decision because it's like he has a committee to get things done. Christine recognizes that in a monogamous relationship there is no tie-breaker. It's so profound.
One of Janelle's friend's daughter has just graduated from school with a degree in fashion design, and she's volunteered to create four custom dresses. Each wife has a vision for her dress because, you know, they're "fashion designers" in addition to being "jewelry designers." Not surprisingly, Meri is asking a ton of questions and has countless opinions. She wants edgy, not elegant. No worries there! Janelle admits that she has warned Sam the designer about how picky particular Meri can be. I guess we're not the only ones still harping on her need for a wet bar!
Kody and his wives are meeting with their family therapist to get assistance with their mission statement. Christine fancies herself quite the writer, although her wife counterparts aren't too sure. Robyn gets choked up every time they read over it. Of course she does. She's mainly concerned with how the completed mission statements will be displayed. Somebody call Cracker Barrel to get some ideas! Kody wants the statement immortalized on canvas and signed by all the wives. Janelle is worried that putting it on canvas could be limiting if Kody gets another wife. While she doesn't foresee Kody getting another wife, they didn't foresee Robyn coming either. Ouch. Kody thinks he's pretty much done with wives. Meri is worried that once the the mission statement is completed and the commitment ceremony is over, the family will sink back into dysfunction. Kody wishes Meri wouldn't be such a Debbie Downer all the time. Amen.
Last night's Sister Wives once again showed us what a stand-up guy Kody Brown is. Not only does he have those luscious locks, but he's Father of the Year up in here! The episode was quite the downer as he and Christine's daughter was admitted to the emergency room with kidney failure. Thankfully, the little girl is much better now.
Kody and his wives are preparing for their commitment ceremony by buying a ton of flowers for their party. No one is more shocked than Janelle that she's actually looking forward to this celebration. Apparently, all the wives like calla lilies. It's really the only thing they all agree upon…well flowers and Kody. They plan to put a tree on each table as a center piece. Robyn is thrilled by their "Tree of Life" theme. Christine is super excited that the commitment ceremony will also highlight her freakin' family mission statement. Next, the brood moves on to cake tasting. Kody wants to design the cake to look like (drum roll, please!) a tree, and it will only cost the family $8,500, or a semester of college for one of their umpteen kids. Poor Kody mopes about what could have been with his dream confection.
Mariah is heading off to college, so I am sure there will be a lot of tears. As she packs for her adventure, Meri informs the camera crew that she and Kody are going to surprise Mariah with a car, and they will be throwing her a joint going-away/birthday party. How many parties do these people need to have? How much money do they need to spend? Meanwhile, Christine is taking Truely to the pediatrician because she's lethargic and cross-eyed. The doctor sends Christine directly to the emergency room fearful that Truely is suffering from kidney failure. Kody is napping (spending money you don't have is exhausting, y'all!), and Robyn goes to wake him with the news. Kody speeds off to the hospital in his midlife crisis car.
This is my first experience discussing the atrocity that is Kody Brown's hair. Why are there no cameras in his bathroom detailing how he achieves such a paragon of 80's greatness. Kody missed his calling by not going into figure skating because the twirl potential of those locks is epic.
This week theSister Wives took a quad-only trip to San Francisco to bond sans Kody, who is really the reason no one gets along. Meanwhile Kody stayed home to burn down the fort and show his paternal ineptitude to the world.
Things start out with Janelle running a 5K, which I hope translates into eventually running away from Kody. To support her, Kody runs with her – well actually he runs far ahead of her. Robyn, of course, is pimping t-shirts to go along with the race that feature the word "Be:" followed by a bunch of adjectives of what someone could be. Polygamous is not on the list, but the design does feature an exploding heart. Ummm…
On last night's Sister Wives, Kody Brown saw two daughters graduate from high school. While Christine was overjoyed for daughter Aspyn, Meri continued to meltdown over Mariah leaving the nest. Poor Janelle, she really wants to high tail it, doesn't she? Even Robyn raises some eyebrows by inviting a fortune teller to the girls' graduation party. Her prediction? One more wife! Oh gracious!
The episode begins with Christine, Meri, and their daughters plan the graduation party. The girls think the moms are living vicariously through them since they never had graduation parties. Mariah and Aspyn are opposed to dancing and DJs. Meri thinks that the girls must be embarrassed by their parents' dancing skills. The only idea that sounds remotely appealing is Robyn's palm reader. I do love that the girls' are cussing in front of their moms. Mariah says "hell no" to a slide show. Kodythen discusses, yet again, how much more expensive Mariah's college education will be. If I were Mariah, I'd ask my folks to put the money they planned to spend on the party towards my education. He invites Mariah's study skills teacher over to talk about financial planning. Kody does not want any of his kids graduating with student loan debt, and he isn't going to be cosigning diddly squat. Slowly but surely, Kody realizes that loans would allow his kids to study and progress without worrying about working three jobs every semester. Take it from me, it's much easier to worry about that debt after graduation. Oh, sarcasm!
On last night's Sister Wives, Kody let the locks fly with lots of manly activities. It was slightly epic. The Browns are planning a commitment ceremony, and they are looking at different places to throw a big family event. Christine loves dropping the fact that they are polygamists to see how people react. The poor guy giving them a tour of the venue says he isn't the church or the government…his place of business just wants to make money. I never need to see Kody moonwalking on a dance floor ever again. Christine balks at the $10,000.00 minimum price tag, but Janellebelieves that it's actually a fair price for what they would be getting. Meri appreciates that some of the women don't want to have to prep or clean up as it would all be taken care of by the event staff, but it's an awful lot of money. Kody admits that he can be very stingy when it comes to his wives' spending, but he wants to go all out with this celebration. After all, he's got a reputation to uphold. Gag.
Kody's friend Brett is coming to visit, and he and Janelle's trainer are going to install wrestling mats in Janelle's garage for son Hunter. Janelle still has stuff in her garage that needs to be cleaned out, so Kody volunteers Christine's garage for the mats as her garage is spotless. Christine requests a private conversation with Kody so she can give him her list of demands in return for turning her garage into a mini gym. She wants more time with Kody and more grocery money. Where are they getting this money? Is TLC footing the bill for all of this madness? Hunter is excited about his new training arena. He thinks it's cool that his dad likes to relive his high school glory days.
Last night was thriving on the cul-de-sac with the return of Sister Wives and, more importantly, Kody Brown's hair. Everyone is thrilled to be in their homes, and everything is as it should be. Kody can run from house to house–it's the best exercise routine ever! The wives are glad that the kids are in such close proximity, but the ladies are still as independent as ever…in other words, they still despise one another. Even with a commitment ceremony looming, the women's interactions are incredibly awkward.
Now that some of the older kids are preparing for college, the family believes that a discussion about a tuition budget should be at the forefront. Kody is anti-student loans. He doesn't want his kids to have any college debt, as if that's entirely feasible. Thanks for reminding me of my debilitating law school debt, Kodster! With Meri about to be an empty nester and Mariah wanting to go to a much pricier school, Kody thinks Meri should shoulder more of the financial obligation.
Robyn has Meri's back, but Kody isn't budging. They call in Mariah to share "their reality," and Christine informs the high school senior that her full time job should be trying to find scholarships. With seventeen kids, no one should get a full ride. A tearful Mariah (when is she not tearful?) explains that she wants to reconnect with her Mormon faith. Janelle wants Mariah to be able to go to the school of her choice. Kody doesn't seem to be onboard with this wife mutiny, and he reminds everyone that he's the common denominator with the children. He's such a prize.
Score one for the Browns! I doubt Kody Brown has been this happy since he found Aqua Net on BOGO at the local Rite Aid! As you recall, the Sister Wives patriarch relocated his family from Lehi, Utah to Las Vegas, Nevada after their polygamous lifestyle became public. I guess that's what starring on a reality show will do for you!
The family cited the move as a way to get away from Utah's anti-polygamist statute which had Kody and wives Meri, Janelle, Christineand Robynfearing jail time. Kody and his wives challenged the law, and it has since been announced as unconstitutional by a federal court judge. Many states have anti-bigamy laws which do not permit people to enter into multiple marriage licenses, but Utah's law made multiple families cohabitating as one punishable with up to five years in prison.
If you're like me, you're wondering what great deed you must have done this weekend to be treated to two full hours of Kody Brown's hair. Oh, and Meri, Janelle, Christine, and Robyn were there too…
The Sister Wives reunion begins with Tamara Hall addressing Kodilocks (thanks reader Hegeira for that hilarious moniker!) and the Brown wives. The family relives the drama of getting financing for the cul-de-sac compound and Meri's tears. Christine and Janelle are sporting some pretty heavy make-up, and Meri explains that there is more potential for jealousy now that the women are in such close proximity. When Tamara tries to dig deeper, Meri begins back-tracking and Christine admits sometimes she is visited by the green monster. Tamara needs to take over the Housewives reunions!
To lighten the mood, the group jokes about a time when Kody was told by Robyn that he needed to put on his big boy panties and get used to his wives empowering themselves with My Sister Wives Closet. He blushes over the jokes as Robyn apologizes. Tamara then shares Danny the builder's insights on Kody and all of his ladies. Everyone agrees that Danny is spot-on with his assessments.