Oh, Sister Wives! Thank you so much for introducing me to the Dargers. TLC, what do you say about a Darger spin-off? Kody Brown would be livid!
We started last night with Kody going over plans for each of the four homes. How are these people affording these homes? The wives, except Janelle, are all getting totally greedy with their need for extra bedrooms and wet bars and offices. I am predicting this season doesn't end well for the Browns.
After squaring away the blueprints, the family can look forward to their family vacation with some polygamist friends…because that's normal! The Dargers aren't the same faith as the Browns. Instead they are "independent polygamists" which must be some kind of code for dude who wanted to marry more than one lady. Joe Darger married two women, Alina and Vicki, on the same day, one of whom looked to be about fourteen at the time, and then ten years later married Val who is Vicki's twin sister. Talk about sharing everything! I'm more than a tad skeezed out because not only will they actually be SISTER wives, the kids will be sibling-cousin hybrids…and among the three of them, there are twenty-three children. The double marriage was arranged by Joe's mom. Lovely.
It seems that Kody Brown has gotten some sort of hairstyle/hairdo/haircut situation since last week's Sister Wives premiere. His bowl-cut/mullet hybrid seems more tame. Is he not watching these old home videos of himself that we're forced to watch? He's actually not bad looking with shorter hair. I don't know if I'll ever get over his mane situation. Kody drones on and on about how many polygamists don't raise their children in such a public manner due to the stigma of the lifestyle. Of course Kody wants to be front and center with each of his bazillion kids so they realize how strong the family bond is.
Kody and his wives are heading to the high school for a parent(s)-teacher conference. Oddly enough, they opt for the mini-van instead of Kody's convertible. Strange. The first meeting is with Mariah's Spanish teacher. Mariah reminds us that she was inducted into the National Honor Society…last episode year. A little editing problem there, TLC? That would explain Kody's haircut. Anyhoo, the Spanish teacher is meeting with three of the kids moms. It's funny watching the wives pretend like they understand Spanish. Christine thinks that Senora Hess is hot. She would totally learn Spanish from her…and there is next season's story line–recruiting Senora Hess as the next wife.
Next, the women meet with the P.E. teacher. While she's only teaching Aspyn this year, she had many of the daughters last year. Aspyn likes to skip P.E. a lot, but she's making up the work to increase her grade. Christine allows Aspyn to skip school a lot because she's such a good student. That's good…it's totally like that in the work force too, so kudos to you Christine for preparing her for real life. Meri admits that Mariah often tries to skip citing Chistine's lax nature with Aspyn, but Meri won't stand for it. However, like Mariah, Aspyn also wants to be in a plural marriage like her parents.
Kody Brown and his Sister Wives are back, and the family seems to be feeling the strain of their Las Vegas move even more intensely than last season. Even Kody's once fluffy, blonde mane is now straw-like with a dishwater hue. Oh, the hairmanity! Seriously, if I'm going to watch a show about a polygamist (and I do like watching, don't get me wrong), couldn't TLC have found one a little more Bradley Cooper and a little less Harry from Dumb and Dumber?
The family remembers how difficult the transition to Las Vegas was, especially for the older children. There is definite tension on the sofa, that's for sure. All of the wives blame being separated on the break down of their family unit. The family is still trying to secure financing for their cul-de-sac village. Christine is concerned that Robyn and Janelle's credit won't allow them to qualify for a loan. If one of them can't get their home, no one will be able to move forward.
Speaking of housewives, Kody Brown, his hair, and his plethora of ladies will be returning for a fourth season of Sister Wives on TLC, and speaking of crazy manes, Jerseylicious will be back for more hair-raising antics (literally!) on the Style Network.
I don't know what it is lately that I feel the need to put a disclaimer in all my blog posts, but here's another one. I really do like the Sister Wives! Actually, you need to take that statement literally. I like the Sister Wives…Kody Brown and his golden mane I can take or leave.
It's almost as if I've started liking reality shows that don't provide the normal extravagant lifestyle, Botox, and Patron-infused escape. Now, I truly enjoy watching the reality programs that make people think and make people mad…for a better reason than someone said something contrived in a cookbook. Social issues, family dynamics, real problems…this is what I'm now drawn to these days. I have to ask, WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? I like to think I'm growing up…maybe? Enjoying fluff and Cartier is so much simpler. Being concerned about who got blackballed from the season's charity event is way cooler than worrying about how real people are actually perceived. Am I right, or am I right?
That said, I think the Sister Wives are awesome. Can we just have an understanding from here on out that when I say "Sister Wives" I mean Meri, Janelle, Christine, and Robyn? We can leave the adult Simba out of my praise. Regardless of how progressive his wives are, he's still a tad too controlling for my tastes. Here's the deal. Do I think polygamy is weird? You can bet Annie's bottom dollar I do! Would I share my future husband ever with some Midwestern hussy(ies)? I think not…of course Ryan Gosling knows better (Eva who?). But was I put on this earth to judge? No. To snark? Well, duh, but to truly judge? Absolutely not. Apparently UNLV shares my beliefs, as the Browns were recently the subject of a campus-wide panel discussion.
As creepy as I find Kody Brown's hair to be, I think his Sister Wives are some pretty stand-up ladies. Now they are giving me even more of a reason to like them. The Brown family is helping women get out of polygamous relationships. Wait, what?
While Meri, Robyn, Janelle, and Christine love their polygamous lifestyle, they realize that some women are in it against their will. Meri recently ran a 5K to raise awareness for women who have been kicked out of or are trying to leave polygamous relationships like Warren Jeffs-led Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
Look out Industry State, the Sister Wives are coming for you! Kody Brown, his hair, and his flock of wives are suing the state of Utah and the county where they used to live citing that its bigamy statute is unconstitutional. The law prohibits people from having more than one legitimate marriage license (which isn’t odd, as polygamy laws go), but it also makes it illegal for someone to hold out as having multiple spouses, even without marriage licenses. The statute also cites it’s illegal for unmarried couples who share a sexual relationship to cohabitate. Essentially the Sister Wives lawsuit could have ramifications on unwed couples who live together as well as homosexual couples who cohabitate.
Kody and his harem allege that they were forced to leave the state to avoid prosecution, but the state’s attorney explains that he won’t prosecute polygamous couples unless there are other charges waged against them. He reveals that people often equate polygamy with sexual abuse and underage girls being promised to older men, and that isn’t the case with the Browns.
Last night was the season finale of Sister Wives. There were college visits, big decisions, and a lot of running around the desert. When you think about it, that would be the best way to best capture the flowiness of Kody’s mane, which, let’s face it, is the true star of this show.
Logan is graduating from high school, and he has narrowed his college search down to Southern Utah University and UNLV. Mariah wants him to go to SUU, but Madison hopes he’ll stick close by as he’s her best friend. Logan reveals that while his dad, moms, and siblings want him to stick around to be close to the family, but Logan isn’t planning on sticking around till he’s forty to see his brothers and sisters grow up. Can you blame him? His mom Janelle thinks he’ll have more ties to his religion if he goes to SUU. Logan isn’t dead set on whether he’ll be a polygamist. He sounds JUST LIKE Kody when he talks.