We are on episode 14 of the Real Housewives of New Jersey. The bad news? It was a pretty non eventful episode that only featured the highly entertaining nuttyness known as Danielle Staub for a few minutes. The good news? there’s only two more episodes left. Just two more episodes and the second season will be finally over. That is until the reunion comes around of course.
A while back, our genius reader gigi1234 had a highlarious view on what the reunion should would be like -
Dirty D [Danielle] – “Kim who, Teresa who, Manzo who?” Dina – “I’m in such a spiritual place now I simply choose to not comment” sitting w/cat oil stains on her Dolce dress. Jacqueline – “Yea I know Ashley has no life, no interest & is disrespectful BUT” Chewbaca [Teresa] – “I can’t comment on the foreclures since it really only has to do w/my husbands business. You know Joe is an entremanure & aint he hot” Caroline - will be on couch not saying a word nursing Albie”
Let’s all hope the NJ ladies can give us a great reunion show a la the Real Housewives of NYC, but please Bravo let’s not make it 3 hours. I simply don’t think I want to sit through 3 hours of everyone against Danielle.
Guess it’s time to get into last night’s episode. It starts off the Jacqueline and her hubby Chris deciding to pay the Giudices a visit at their luxurious mansion. Jacqueline mentions Joe received a DUI and is puzzled because “Joe was not drinking and was not drunk,” during their night out. Really Jacqueline? Not even one drink by Joe? Not sure I’m buying this.
Danielle and her feathered head ex-con buddy Danny are shown eating out and of course, the topic of Joe’s DUI is brought up. Before Danielle can fully dissect the issue, we are forced to listen to Joe’s lies explanation of his version of events. “I was tired, it wasn’t from drinking at all,” claims Joe.
It’s now back to Danielle and the former prostitution whore actually makes good sense when she wonders out-loud why Joe simply couldn’t call a cab, being that he could afford to. Wondering if he could actually afford to, you know following the bankruptcy and over-spending wife. Joe then tries to explain away his .11 alcohol level, saying he started downing shots once at his friend’s house, following the accident. According to the DailyRecord.com, this is a defense is known as a ”glove box defense,” or claim of drinking after an accident so a blood test reading would be invalid.
Unfortunately for Joe, the cops didn’t buy his glove box defense, with the cops stating that the witness Joe called to support his claim of drinking only after the crash ”completely lacked credibility” and ”was out and out lying.” Ouch.
It’s now back to Danielle, who believes Joe’s DUI is a result of karma. “I’m just going to continue living in the love and light that they make fun of, while their darkness rains upon them, says Danielle, who’s sex tape would be ultimately released just months after uttering these words.
And for the fans of the show who say Bravo shouldn’t have Danielle and her supporting cast on the show, well you know what they say – be careful what you wish for, as the next 55 minutes of the show will be Danielle free.
Teresa, Caroline and Jacqueline meet up and Teresa makes an interesting comment. “Since the accident, it has been a stressful time for us, cause it’s a small town, everybody talks,” states Teresa, who’s bankruptcy filing would be unveiled just months after uttering these words. If their small town was abuzz about Joe’s DUI, one can only imagine all the yapping that took place regarding their $11 mil debt.
And then randomly out of the blue, the three ladies decide that Joe’s arrest is too stressful for them to handle or something, as the talk of taking a trip to Italy is randomly brought up. This whole scene seems very staged, as Bravo PAYS for these trips taken by the housewives, including the infamous St. John trip for the NYC Housewives, and the Florida trip taken by the OC Housewives. The Atlanta housewives also took a trip for their upcoming third season. So basically, this scene is phony and the trip idea was Bravo’s.
Caroline heads over to the Brownstone to inform her bobby about the trip, and maybe it’s just me, but Al seems more and more disinterested in Caroline as the days go by. And in what seems like perfect foreshadowing, Al states he doesn’t want a trip with Teresa’s kids 18 kids running around. Jacqueline wants to bring her parents to be babysitters, while Teresa feels it would be a good idea to bring her parents “you know since that’s where they were born.” All the husbands are on board, and Italy is about to get some NJ trash coming their way! And by NJ trash, I mean the Jersey Shore cast Teresa Giudice.
After watching the drama that took place between these two, I only have three questions. Who is nuttier between the two? Who is the bigger drama queen? And did Danielle finally meet her match in Kim G?
The episode begins with the morally and financially bankrupt Giudices, who have now come up with another creative way to continue living beyond their means, even after filing bankruptcy. Joe and Teresa visit the Brownstone to plan out yet another party. This time around, it’s for baby Audriana‘s christening and Teresa declares she wants ice sculptures. Teresa then reveals that the cause of Dina not being around anymore is Danielle. Evidently their close friendship only extended to being in front of Bravo cameras.
Next up we see Danielle pull up to a hospital, and we soon find out this TMI hospital visit is for her 16-year-old daughter’s first visit to see a OB-GYN, and I find myself asking if it was really necessary for Danielle to bring the cameras around for something so private. I mean it’s bad enough Christine has Danielle for a mother, is it really necessary to have her OB-GYN appointments filmed? Are we about to see poor Christine’s pap smear? Are the other home viewers as uncomfortable for Christine as I am at this point? Thankfully, we find out this appointment was more of a talking one. Danielle decides she isn’t done embarrassing her daughter on national television and proceeds to ask her if she’s having sex or “being a good girl” rather. An embarrassed Christine refuses to answer, and we get a HPV after school special. In this scene we also find out born again virgin Danielle does not date, not surprising considering she’s too busy making sex tapes with randoms.
Christopher Manzo is playing some pool with best friend John G. who just happens to be Kim G’s son. Kim G. decides to randomly show up with some popcorn for the adult men, and immediately gives us this awkward scene when she tries to get Christoper to arrange a playdate between she and Caroline. “Umm… Why don’t we go with you,” is what Chris is able to muster up. Kim G. is game and ready to do whatever it takes to become a regular on the show Caroline Manzo’s new BFF!
It’s the day of the weddingquinceanera christening and we see Teresa getting her girls ready. “Mom, where’s my purse? Can I wear my silver Juicy Couture one?” asks diva in training Gia. Teresa shares that Joe’s a little grumpy this morning due to working long hours in the pizzeria, oops his father’s pizzeria that is of course. Me thinks Joe’s a little grumpy cause he had just gone bankrupt trying to make his wife happy, but that’s just me.
It was a family affair as cast members Teresa Giudice, Caroline Manzo and Jacqueline Laurita brought their families along. Also in attendance was Susan SaundersJill Zarin, and Alex and Simon from the NYC Housewives franchise. Missing in action were Dina Manzo and Danielle Staub. More photos from the party below.
Also making headlines and gracing this week’s cover of Life&Style magazine is Dina Manzo who apparently underwent a bubbies breast reduction.
Dina reveals she had her surgery on April 6 to correct a decade-old breast augmentation that she says gave her back pain and made her self-conscious. “I woke up from surgery and just knew I was super huge and needed to get the implants taken out,” she tells Life & Style of her 2000 surgery. “I went back within the first two weeks and got them reduced.”
Despite her first reduction, Dina reveals she was still unhappy with her breast size. “I was uncomfortable and felt like I was carrying a child around with me all the time,” she says. “Plus, you don’t realize it until you have big boobs, but they’re a pain when it comes to dressing.”
Dina says her new surgery has taken her from her previous 32DD size breasts to a more modest 32C cup. “Everyone says I look the way I should now,” boasts the NJ housewife. “I’m proportional!’
CLICK THE READ MORE BUTTON TO SEE MORE PHOTOS FROM THE PREMIERE PARTY –