Reality Tea is new to Big Rich Texas. Actually, so am I, so please be kind. There are way too many blondes and annoying voices to keep all of the characters straight. And they're all either holding or throwing wine glasses. Good thing the Hollywood Exes aren't the "Dallas Exes"… one little glass throwing incident sent those women into a tailspin. Their heads would explode over here.
Tuning in for the first time, I didn't know what to expect. I did not anticipate using "vagina" and "booger" in the recap title, that's for sure. Big Rich Texas sure knows how to keep it classy up in their fancy community. I also did not expect… I freaking love this show… in a trashy reality TV/guilty pleasure sort of way. Thank you, Reality Tea readers, for being so vocal about this hidden gem. My life will never be the same. Coincidentally, neither will my liver, because I have a feeling the Big Rich Texas shenanigans are much more fun to watch when paired with a glass of wine or a flask of vodka. Let's get this party started, shall we?
For season three we have Bonnie Blossman, Leslie Birkland, Melissa Poe, Connie Dieb, DeAynni Hatley, and newcomer Cindy Davis. And, of course, their lovely daughters and borrowed pageant girl. Already this season, the ladies have had a botox party, where Melissa and Leslie fought, a casino party, where Melissa and Leslie fought, and a crab boil, where DeAynni slapped her daughter Shaye Hatley. Apparently, it's not the first time this has happened, either. Also, worth mentioning, Bonnie's daughter Whitney Whatley moved in with her boyfriend Booger and Leslie's been bragging about her never-before-seen billionaire boyfriend Kip.
Episode three starts with Leslie's borrowed pageant girl Kalyn Braun lounging by the pool with Tyler and new-on-the-scene Terry. Terry is a jockey at the ranch where Kalyn dresses like a Texan hooker to shovel horse poop. Maddie obsessively plays with her hair and makes fun of Kalyn's new occupation. Why anyone would leave a cupcake shop for a ranch is beyond me. On the couch, Kalyn says there's one big perk to scooping poop, "On my days off, I get to bring the hot boys to the country club. Job with benefits."
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