It's hard to believe that American Idol has been on the air for over 10 years. Around season eight, the American Idol judges started to change, which, in my opinion, changed the focus of the show. Sadly. It became more about the judges and less about the contestants. 

Clay Aiken, the season two runner-up, recently shared his thoughts on the American Idol judges. When asked if he will return to the show to celebrate the 10th anniversary of his appearance on the show that gave him his big break, Clay said, "I don't know that I would commemorate it on the show. I don't know that they did it with Justin Guarini and all those folks." 

Clay added, "But Idol back in those days was about the contestants. Kelly [Clarkson] and Justin and Tamyra [Gray] and Nikki McKibbin, they were all the stars of the show. And when I was on, Ruben [Studdard] and myself and Kimberley Locke were the stars of the show." 

Definitely not shy about his opinion, Clay concluded, "Now Idol is about the judges. I don't even know if they remember there are contestants anymore."'

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I couldn't agree more. I despised the addition of Kara DioGuardi and Ellen DeGeneres back in the day. The obvious reason being that they were both terrible judges. And now American Idol is all like, oh, we got Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez… look over here, it's Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj hating on each other. 

Speaking of Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez, an anonymous author with “firsthand knowledge of the inner workings of a top TV talent show” has written a tell-all book about the 10th season of the talent show. Season 10 just happens to be when Steven and Jennifer joined Randy Jackson at the American Idol judges' table… and the similarities cannot be denied. 

Elimination Night is written from the perspective of Sasha, a production assistant on the hit show Project Icon. In the book, "Project Icon" (American Idol?) is a ratings giant that recently lost "Mr. Horrible" (Simon Cowell?), a mean-spirited producer and judge who left to start "The Talent Machine" (The X Factor?). Desperate for big-name replacements, Project Icon hires "Bibi Vasquez" and "Joey Lovecraft." 

American Idol Judges Talk Judging Styles

"Bibi" (Jennifer?) is a singer from Queens who comes with a 78-page contract full of ridiculous demands, which include "Artist’s body to be insured with $1 billion dollar policy in case of injury,“ "Crew to be forbidden to make eye contact with Artist at all times," and “Artist to be provided with chauffeur-driven limo. Limo to be a Rolls-Royce Phantom, white. Artist to select driver (male, under 25) from head/torso shots.”

"Joey" (Steven?) is a rock star who like porn stars and booze and tweets inappropriate messages and pictures to female contestants and constantly competes with "Bibi" for top billing. Rounding out the judges' table is "JD Coolz" (Randy?), who overuses his catch phrase "Booya-ka-ka!" (Dog! or In it to win it!).

Elimination Night also reveals behind-the-scenes producer manipulation of the results. Say it isn't so!

Oh, poor Clay Aiken. Always a reality show bridesmaid, never a reality show bride. For the second time, Clay proved he had the talent to take it to the end, but fell short. Again. At last he has his extremely devoted fans, the Claymates. And Clay will always have the best line of the season when he expertly described Aubrey O’Day climbing out of her momma’s womb and onto a stripper’s pole. For that, he will always live on in our hearts. Well, until the next troop of Z-listers comes around for Celebrity Apprentice.

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Last night, in the “live finale” which just meant Donald Trump could extend the torture a bit longer like he has his producers do in the boardroom, we were also reminded that Mario Andretti was on this season for like 5 seconds when he drove Donald out to the majestic American Museum of Natural History. While I was hoping the live finale had some Housewives-style reunion-like fireworks, no one told anyone to “close their legs to married men” so it was all rather boring. The same fights we saw play out during the season still exist: Victoria Gotti vs. Lisa Lampanelli; Lou Ferrigno vs everybody; Tia Carrere vs Lisa. Dayana Mendoza and Lisa however, did kiss and make up and announced a new touring comedy duo.

Just kidding. Dayana and Lisa still hate each other. I’m sure that racial slur incident in the press didn’t help.

We do get to see the variety shows on this episode and they’re both predictable, with Lisa doing a comedy routine in Arsenio’s show and Aubrey and Dee Snider singing for Clay’s show. Clay of course, sings to us, and it’s wonderful. My prediction with the camera angles for PSAgate ended up coming true: magically, the editing crew neglected to inform us last weekend that they did indeed get a decent shot of Magic Johnson when they went to film the PSA. Duh. Of course.

Now, the two teams were told they’d be judged on how much money they raised and both men managed to raise big amounts from their celebrity friends (or in Arsenio’s case, people who managed to call him back this time, unlike the last time he tried to raise money from his old comedy friends), and like some other challenges we saw, the loser did actually end up raising more money. Clay in fact raised way more money than Arsenio. And yet, Arsenio won the title and $250,000 for his charity, the Magic Johnson Foundation.

While the winner of Celebrity Apprentice isn’t just based on the final task, and both Clay and Arsenio were strong players through out the whole season, I’m still torn about how I feel about the decision to crown Arsenio the winner. It just feels off. On the other hand, it does give Arsenio an opportunity to reboost his career. And working with Magic Johnson’s foundation is a great PR move for the Donald.

In any case, we have a new apprentice so now it’s time to start thinking about next year. Who do you think should be cast for next season? I’d love for Vicki Gunvalson to be cast because I think her head would explode if faced with having to interact with real celebrities. I also love the idea of casting RuPaul, former MTV VJ Kennedy, and 50 Cent.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE WINNER? WHO DO YOU WANT TO CAST FOR NEXT SEASON?

The contestants of Celebrity Apprentice celebrated last night’s season finale in style. They all headed over to the American Museum of Natural History in NYC to celebrate the end of the season.

Celebrities/contestants in attendance: Teresa Giudice, Donald Trump, Dee Snider, Debbie Gibson, Clay Aiken, Lisa Lampanelli, Aubrey O’Day, Dayana Mendoza, Arsenio Hall and more!

Stay tuned for the recap of last night’s finale!

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Photo Credit: Mr. Blue/WENN.com

I called it — I knew Clay Aiken was not going to be let go from Celebrity Apprentice, simply because the camera tricks were entirely too obvious. Reality television programs love to mess with our minds and this was no exception. Last week, it was clear that Marlee Matlin and John Rich were not fans of Aubrey O’Day, and I had a feeling she would be fired.

Donald Trump fired Aubrey by saying she was “transparent.” Which is true, and Aubrey responded by saying she wasn’t. Aubrey is transparent, and extremely smart, but overplayed her hand by constantly taking credit for everything and talking shit about her colleagues. The only person Aubrey didn’t insult on camera was Lisa Lampanelli (too scared she would end up in Lisa’s act?); even her so-called friend Teresa Giudice was given the talking head snark treatment.

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Anyway, Arsenio Hall and Clay are the two celebrities left, which is a position Clay knows rather well, being in the final two. I was obsessed with American Idol when Clay was on the show and it’s kinda funny to be following him again, so many years later. I voted Clay to win then, and I want him to win now.

The task this week is for both celebrities to create and star in variety shows to raise money for their respective charities, the National Inclusion Project for Clay and the Magic Johnson AIDS Foundation for Arsenio. The fired celebrities are brought back to help out, because what else do they have going on? Clay picks Aubrey, Penn Jillette, Dee Snider and Debbie Gibson on his team and Arsenio goes with Paul Teutul Sr., Teresa, Lisa and Adam Carolla. Apparently we were permanently spared more Dayana Mendoza.

Naturally, Clay wants to put on a musical show, which makes sense given his music-heavy team and Penn’s experience as a Las Vegas show regular. Debbie and Clay have some drama, which isn’t surprising since Debbie is like a hurricane of unpleasantness. There’s such a thing as overselling and Debbie does it. Arsenio decided to go for funny (Teresa contributed “fishes” as food. Why not pizza from juicy joe’s pizzeria??) and managed to get a huge coup by sending a televised crew to Magic Johnson’s house to fill a spot for the promo, but the crew messed up the filming. While Arsenio’s instructions were not great, no one on the crew did ANY shots of Magic straight on?

Anyway, we’ll find out next week how much the PSA Magic debacle truly cost Arsenio. Besides the quality of the show and accompanying PSA, it all comes down to the bottom line, and how much Clay and Arsenio are able to raise via ticket sales and donations will play a factor in who wins. To her credit, Lisa actually cut a check to both men’s charities.

So, we’re finally at the end. It’s great that there are two talented, intelligent celebrities who are up at the end, and not drama whores. If Aubrey had made it to the top two, she may have literally combusted. If Lisa had made it, she’d still be crying, and if Penn had made it, his co-workers may have killed him for some of his more condesending remarks. If Teresa had made it to the top two, all her teammates would have had to wear leopard print.

Ultimately, I think the people who deserve to be at the top are there, and it’s really anyone’s guess. But as a gambler, I have to decide, and I’m going to bet on Clay.

WHO DO YOU THINK WILL WIN THE TITLE OF CELEBRITY APPRENTICE?

On last night’s Celebrity Apprentice, we lost two of the biggest reasons to watch the show. I’ll spare you the spoiler alert, and I’ll just start from the ending: Teresa Giudice finally floated her way out of the boardroom, and Lisa Lampanelli found herself in a situation she couldn’t cry her way out of. In fact, it was her constant crying that cost her a spot in the final two. Lisa has bragged on her Twitter that she uses crying to manipulate the judges, so I stopped buying the “passionate comic act” around the second time she did it.

Last night’s task was to create an ad campaign for CHI hair products for Elle magazine. Anyone else get the feeling they create tasks that are perfect for the just eliminated contestant? Dayana Mendoza could have possibly done really well on this task with her modeling background and connections. I guess we’ll never know. She could have created an ad campaign with a woman getting her hair done coming out of labor; the labor thing being one of her more outlandish ideas. Teresa and Lisa decide to project manage.

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You can almost set your clock to the moment Aubrey O’Day decides to share her brilliant idea (I’m surprised she didn’t take credit for the touchscreen technology on the CHI hair products they were promoting since all good ideas generate from the mane of Aubrey). She suggests a yoga theme for Unanimous. Because when I think of neat hair, I think of that moment I leave my yoga class all sweaty and with frizzy hair. But then again, I don’t have the brilliant mind of the former lead singer Danity Kane.

Over on Forte, Lisa and Clay Aiken, come up with a campaign about something below the surface. It just seemed like an excuse for Lisa to show her issues about her looks yet again. We get it Lisa, you hate beautiful people and think you are fat and ugly and you care so much more about the insides. It’s a noble goal but it’s a hair ad. For a fashion magazine. Don’t read so much into it.

A power struggle emerged when it was time to pick models and I was really let down that they didn’t have them pick their models America’s Next Top Model style. I wanted to see some tears and one dejected 15 year old model walk off the stage. Instead, Teresa and Lisa fought for models, and Aubrey ended up stepping in for the shoot (shocking). She sits around topless for a while, but it’s nothing a Google search won’t show you. I wonder if Arsenio Hall recognized it from his infamous pre-shoot Googling.

The presentations are okay. At this point, everyone just seems so exhausted and like they want to be fired. You have to remember that what’s shown to us in the span of a few months actually took just a handful of weeks. By now, everyone is cranky and wants to be home. With Dayana gone, Clay starts to feel that Lisa didn’t do much, and this is exactly what happens when the common enemy is removed.

We get to boardroom pretty quickly in this episode. Lisa gets another win under her belt, but it’s too little too late. It’s Teresa’s turn to go up against Arsenio, who is upset that she didn’t contribute much. Te-RAY-sa, as Donald says it, is let go, and somewhere Melissa Gorga and her sisters are rejoicing. But it doesn’t matter because this just means there is more time for Teresa to conceive of more “co-written” Italian cookbooks.

Marlee Matlin and John Rich get to interview the remaining four and they don’t like Aubrey, and decide to fire Lisa for her overemotional nature. There’s no crying on Celebrity Apprentice, apparently. So now we have Clay, Arsenio and Aubrey in the final three. One of them will go in the first ten minutes of next week’s episode. I’ve heard rumblings that Clay is the one to go, but I’ve heard just as many that Clay makes it. Editing monkeys love to mess with us, so I won’t take previews or camera placement as an indication of anything.

There’s only one question: could Aubrey O’Day be our next celebrity apprentice? How can this be possible? Who do you think will be fired next week?

Last night, Donald Trump told the remaining six victims on Celebrity Apprentice that they all looked sick and tired. And, he’s right. I’m sick and tired, too. The marathon pace of the show is starting to visibly take its toll on the contestants. Or maybe the editing monkeys exaggerated everyone’s behavior. Whatever it was, after tonight’s elimination, there will only be one way to go, and that’s for everyone to turn on each other.

The challenge this week was to create a jingle for Good Sam, an emergency roadside assistance firm with a retro-esque mascot. What a shame that both our musically inclined “celebrities” were project managers last week. This week, Aubrey O’Day and Clay Aiken really could have shone, but instead Dayana Mendoza decided to PM, with Arsenio Hall managing Unanimous. Or, the reality, Aubrey took over the creative direction of the team while Arsenio’s true project management task was managing Aubrey.

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Now, how does one solve a problem like Aubrey? She’s been the biggest surprise of this season: smart, hard-working, funny, and with a lot more depth than was ever alluded to in her Danity Kane days. But, her ego is too much to deal with. Her hair and her ego just keep growing; they must be related to each other. Aubrey says she was the only reason her team won last week, and this week, dominated the task from Arsenio, claiming only she has the creative genius to come up with the jingle and presentation idea.

Having dealt with domineering ego-maniacs before, I totally understand Arsenio’s approach. You can either argue with them, which is futile since they think everything they do is right, or you can go along and make the best of it. Where Aubrey completely loses me, are her comments about how stupid her teammates are. When Donald Trump Jr. came in to check in with the team, she threw them all under the bus. Aren’t she and Teresa Giudice supposed to be BFF? Wouldn’t it work in her favor to at least pretend to support her project manager? A win for Arsenio is a win for Aubrey.

This self-centered, egocentric nonsense will be O’day’s downfall. Just watch. Especially in the coming weeks, now that she and Lisa no longer have their scape goat of Dayana. This show never shows us the backstage machinations like other reality shows do, but it seems pretty obvious that Teresa, Lisa Lampanelli and Aubrey formed an alliance to kick off the other women. What happens now when all the other women are gone? Time for the dream team to implode.

Over on Forte, Lisa had another meltdown fight with Dayana, only this time Clay Aiken was there to back her up. The toll of the competition really showed on Dayana this week, she seemed really frustrated and like she was reaching some kind of breakdown. Never forget that these shows are shot in incredibly quick time crunches, with sleep deprived cast members. The conditions on Celebrity Apprentice are probably better because these guys can negotiate better conditions, but the production schedule is still grueling. And being forced to interact with a bunch of people you can’t stand has got to be rough. So, I felt bad for Dayana.

But, on the other hand, as Lisa said in boardroom, she was running with the big dogs now. Dayana was clearly trying to prove that she was intelligent and worthy of being chosen as a cast member, but it just went overboard. Trying to tell Clay anything about music was a wrong move. Making the comment to Donald Trump Jr. that Lisa was just being loud was also wrong, as well as attempting to work with her. Here is where Arsenio could have taught her a thing or two: you manage an angry, irrational person; you don’t try to get them to cooperate.

There was so much psychology in this episode, I almost forgot the challenges. Forte went with a 60s theme, Unanimous went with a cheerleader script that starred Aubrey’s cleavage. It’s really too bad that Debbie Gibson was gone at this point because the singing showdown between her and Aubrey would have been absolutely hilarious.

Unanimous wins, and thankfully Arsenio doesn’t cry when he gets the money for the Magic Johnson Foundation. The team gets dinged for their sexy presentation, but wins anyway. Forte gets dinged for a lack of Dayana, and finally, Donald fires her without even bothering with the façade of having to think it over alone. That was cold! But, she’s been in the boardroom something like 6 times now, so the choice was clearly not that hard.

There was another argument between Dayana and Lisa in the boardroom, with Lisa defending her uncontrollable emotions and Dayana sitting cool as a cucumber. Is it true she only learned English a few years ago? If so, that’s pretty impressive. Anyway, she’s finally gone and the real psychological warfare can begin. Who will go next? My money’s on Aubrey.

TELL US: DO YOU AGREE WITH LAST NIGHT’S FIRING?

Last night’s Celebrity Apprentice felt like a placeholder in between far more exciting episodes. The last two weeks were so exciting that I guess we needed a break before the real stuff starts. This needs to step up, because Sunday nights are too competitive. In any case, the Trumps certainly needed another product placement turn, since Ivanka’s fashion line has been all but forgotten at this point by most viewers.

This time, it was the Donald’s turn, and he got to shill for his new fragrance, “Success by Trump” Or as I like to call it, “Success after declaring bankruptcy and putting your family’s name on just about anything.” Both teams had to create an in-store display and slogan to promote the brand at Macy’s. On team Unanimous, looking so sad with just three members, Aubrey O’Day stepped up to the PM plate, and on team Forte, Clay Aiken took over. Penn Jillette talking-heads that he is going to bow out in order to become the celebrity apprentice. Remember that part!

The assignment is given out in Trump’s magnificently tacky home, the amount of gold just in the room the cast is standing in could probably be used to feed several third-world nations, but who cares when Donald needs everything to sparkle? Moving on to the war room, Clay already started to get annoyed at Penn and all his IDEAS. Dayana Mendoza immediately comes up with a super sexual idea of having nude women wear ties in the photos for the display. I’m not surprised that Dayana comes up with stuff like this; if you ever watch television from her home country of Venezuela, everything is all about innuendo and double entendre. The girl simply can not help it!

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Moving on to Forte, can we first talk about Aubrey’s hair in this episode? Do we think she stood in front of a fan to create her wolf-esque locks this week? What is her stylist doing to her? It’s time for an intervention. As usual, Arsenio Hall is frustrated with Aubrey for completely taking charge. If Aubrey were less all about herself, she would use the smart Arsenio as an ally and rein Teresa Giudice in, who has her savvy, but is not on the same level as the other two. But that’s what I would do.

Unanimous settles on “You earned it” as their slogan, which Clay doesn’t really like, but everyone else likes it, so he decides to just go with it. Penn goes on to take over the design of the display, and naturally Dayana ends up being “the face” of their campaign. Finally, something just for her, which Lisa Lampanelli can’t have a complete breakdown over.

Over on Forte, Aubrey struggles with Arsenio and Teresa, and complains to Eric Trump that she’s a “team of one” and that her teammates don’t have anything to add and are having a hard time with the “very simple tasks” she gave them. She stands around looking like a mad woman as she watches their display being built. From the other view of things, sometimes very domineering people forget just how domineering they are and don’t realize that it’s because of them that no one else is contributing. On the other hand, Teresa and Arsenio should not be suffering from bouts of shyness at this point.

Of both displays, Forte’s seemed a bit weird and all over the place. Clay was caught off-guard when the execs asked for a longer presentation, whereas Unanimous had this in the bag, with a great preso by Arsenio, Teresa, and Aubrey. It was pretty clear that Aubrey was going to take home the win. There was yet another misunderstanding between her and Arsenio in the boardroom, but no more c-word tantrums.

Forte, the bad luck charm, just can not win. The execs hated Penn’s “You earned it” slogan and Donald canned Penn because of it, thought he “wanted” to fire Dayana, who at this point has been in the boardroom on the chopping block more than anyone in Apprentice history. It would be truly hilarious if she just won this whole thing (but she’ll probably go next week when she returns as PM).

I’m sad to see Penn go, but honestly this show was beneath him. Now, I’m thinking either Lisa or Aubrey vs Clay for the finale.

DO YOU AGREE WITH LAST NIGHT’S FIRING? DO YOU THINK AUBREY’S EGO CAN BE CONTAINED?

On last night’s Celebrity Apprentice, both teams had to run improvisational puppet shows. Product placement department was really asleep at the wheel this week, since there was no corporate sponsor constantly being complemented. Ivanka Trump could barely bring herself to say “the executives” in the boardroom.

Since all shows on television now air on Sunday night, I’ll remind you that Lou Ferrigno was fired last week for only giving half of his usual “110%.” Lisa and Dayana shuffle back into the boardroom, Clay Aiken makes a snarky comment, which Lisa immediately overreacted to. Lisa, the woman who makes her living making fun of others, can dish it but certainly can not take it.

On this week’s task, Lisa Lampanelli elects herself as project manager in an attempt to finally win something, and Clay is shuffled over to Forte. Nice work, producers! Paul Teutul decides to manage this task, which is kinda weird. Aubrey O’Day would have been a shoe-in. Her hair alone is practically its own puppet!

Someone must have had a talk with Aubrey about her dominating ways because she decides to take a step back and let Paul run the show. And, since this is a different universe, Arsenio Hall & Aubrey are cool with each other! See what happens after you call your teammate a “See you next Tuesday!” You become friends afterwards. Paul had an injury the day before they start preparing for the act, so he is basically useless. Both teams get a lot of training on this task, in both, actual improv and puppeteering. Teresa Giudice loves that the improv guys encourage not knowing what you’re talking about. Do I really have to write a joke here? You know what to do, commenters! Take this and run with it. You’ve been given a gift.

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Dayana Mendoza tries to get in on the improv act, saying she’s been doing improv for a year and a half. Lisa reminds us again that she has done comedy for the past million years, a fact she’ll keep reminding us of over and over. We get it, Lisa, you’re a comedian. It’s interesting to contrast that with Penn Jillette, also on Forte, and also a showbiz veteran, who does not have to hit us over the head constantly. Has Penn ever even brought up that he has an incredibly successful show in Las Vegas? Because if it were Lisa, we would know all the box office numbers intimately.

Dayana is relegated to puppet design and she is not happy about it. Improv is serious business, yo. Over on Unanimous, Teresa spends forever trying to name her puppet, until Arsenio suggests “fabulini.” And then – Teresa gets to plug her new book! The Trumps must truly love the Guidice because that was pretty impressive. Even Bethenny Frankel, queen of the product namedrop, must be impressed. Aubrey says Teresa is “inspired by everything tacky on the table.” Well, she’s all Jersey! Paul, basically doesn’t do anything.

Eric goes to visit Forte, and Dayana is NOT happy. Eric picks up on her awkwardness and realizes she may not want to be in that group. Ivanka visits Unanimous and seems a bit too sympathetic towards Paul’s injury. They’re all so easy to read!

During the rehearsal, the real improvisers can’t contain their true feelings about Teresa, who can not grasp basic improv concepts and struggles. I’m surprised Teresa and Aubrey claim to be close considering how often Aubrey trashes her in talking heads. She nails Teresa’s appeal: her naive, “child like” personality.

Now, on to the Dayana and Lisa fight. Dayana feels that she’s tried hard to respect Lisa, who can not stop belittling her. She wants a more active role, but Lisa explodes at the thought, and says not everyone can be on camera. I don’t think that’s the point. Penn looks at the camera and feels like we do: not again. Dayana walks off, and Lisa then yells at Clay & Penn for not backing her up but Penn is wise not to get involved. He talks to Dayana and lets her vent. By the time they perform, everything seems to be okay.

The teams perform, people laugh, and we’re on to the real performance: the boardroom!

Dayana and Lisa go first, with Lisa complaining that Dayana didn’t do anything and Dayana retorting that once again, she wasn’t given a chance. Ivanka agrees that Dayana probably shouldn’t be on stage. Donald asks who Lisa would bring back, and she fake cries that she wouldn’t bring anyone back and that she didn’t get in this to make girls cry. Donald eats it up. Penn thinks showing emotion is not what comedy about. He is so much smarter than anyone here, it’s painful to watch him get caught up in this nonsense. I hope this pays off for him.

We move over to Unanimous and are reminded that Paul is still here. He singles out Teresa as the weakest player. Teresa says names are very important to her! Ivanka brings up that Teresa named her little terror Milania after Donald’s wife. The feedback from the improv “executives” is that Clay and Lisa’s puppetry was a bit too “blue” and they also didn’t like the “too specific” puppets on Unanimous.

In the end, Lisa finally wins something! No boardroom for Dayana! She finally gets to drink champagne.

It’s clear on the other team that Paul keeps trying to get Teresa fired and will save Arsenio. Teresa asks Aubrey to back her up that Paul wasn’t a good manager, and interestingly Aubrey is cautious and brings up Paul’s injury. Cracks in their alliance? Trump questions why Paul didn’t bring Arsenio to the chopping block since it was really his puppets that were the reason their team lost the challenge. And it is that mistake that gets him fired. Honestly, it was time for Paul to go. Off he goes into the elevator. The Trumps love Paul and give him the best send off we’ve had so far.

TELL US: DID YOU AGREE WITH LAST NIGHT’S FIRING? WHO DO YOU THINK WILL GO NEXT?

Last night’s Celebrity Apprentice opened up on Awkardville, aka the terrified remaining team members with a ranting Arsenio Hall. Everyone looked like they wanted to avoid Arsenio’s gaze. Everyone except for Lisa Lampanelli, who finally found an outfit that looked flattering (It’s 2012. There are amazing plus size options everywhere. Look into them!). Hilariously, the self-proclaimed insult comic had a problem with Arsenio’s choice of insults for Aubrey O’Day. She yelled at Arsenio that he was about to ruin his image and career and that “every woman in America would hate him” after watching his tirade.

In his talking head, Arsenio recognized how ridiculous it was that Lisa of all people should be upset with his word choice, but on the other hand, Arsenio’s anger towards Aubrey seemed way out of line. In the war room, the team decides that from now on, the team follow Teresa’s lead to avoid future problems. Who woulda thought, Teresa Giudice would be the sanest person in a room? Lou Ferrigno and Dayana Mendoza come in from the boardroom and Lisa once again, does nothing to hide her disgust. She tells Penn Jillette that from now on, the two of them will be carrying their team. She’s not exactly wrong there.

The product placement this week is for entertainment.com, a company that no one can seem to refer to with a straight face. The teams have to produce 60-second commercials for the company. Dayana steps up as project manager for Forte and Teresa decides to manage Unanimous. Aubrey makes her return and she and Arsenio have something resembling an adult discussion, and Arsenio even comes close to apologizing, blaming his emotion on the charity work, both for his old friend Magic Johnson and his “cousin from Cleveland” who recently died of AIDS. They both agree to move on.

While a part of me is rooting for Aubrey, it was a huge letdown to see her make fun of Teresa in her talking head spots, especially after Teresa saved her in the last boardroom. Everyone knows Teresa should have brought Aubrey in, and didn’t due to their friendship/alliance, so watching Aubrey take down Teresa was too much. It just confirms what Arsenio said: it’s Aubrey’s world, and it’s all “I, I, I.” Unanimous ends up having a very peaceful week working, and they even blame Arsenio’s outburst for getting all the anger out into the open, but moving past it. This is just to grown-up for me!

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Luckily, Forte continues their drama curse. But, this time, it’s not between Dayana and Lisa, but everybody and Lou Ferrigno. Lisa realizes that she is a being a shrew harpy in her constant hatred of Dayana and also comes to her senses when she realizes that Lou is, by far, the worst competitor. Dayana can at least send an email with an attachment, which Lou was unable to do. The perennial chip on Lou’s shoulder (even bigger than Lisa or Aubrey’s) is so apparent in this task, and he second-guesses everything the team is doing. He’s also mad when he is not cast in the commercial.

For the second time, Penn has to leave for a show, but his brain is the equivalent of 10 brains, so the team doesn’t necessarily suffer. It enrages Lou, since Penn is only putting in 80% and not that 110% he is so fond of.

It all comes to a head in the boardroom, when Lisa and Lou duke it out. Lou said to Lisa, “Lisa’s lucky not to be a man tonight, because I would throw her right through that wall, because after the last boardroom, you called me a fucking loser.” Who says that? Even worse was when Lou said he prefer the other team’s video to his own, which is like rule one of team work. Even if you hate it, how can you insult the rest of your team that way? Lou’s anger that the video was not a 60 second clip of him flexing clouds everything he says.

For Unanimous, Teresa tells Trump that if they lose, she will bring everyone into the boardroom with her. Teresa’s strategy is sound: at this point, you don’t want to become a target by naming names, so better to bring them all in. It doesn’t matter because Teresa’s team wins, getting $60,000 for her charity Nephcure. Somewhere Melissa Gorga is not pleased. Everything’s coming up Giudice!

In the boardroom, the mess of Forte is hard to clean up. Arsenio and Paul Teutul (who got an awesome makeover for his team’s commercial) watch Lisa on the screen from their champagne suite and comment how they don’t want to work with her because she keeps losing. That’s a fantastic point, because while Lisa is creative and a hard worker, how good is it if you keep losing? Loss after loss after loss. Is Aubrey the brains in the Lisa and Aubrey alliance?

Penn is saved from elimination this week since contributed so much, even while gone. The team is criticized for not using the actual team members in the commercial and Lisa makes a hilarious crack about how creepy it would be to see a man in his 50s like Penn with a 20-year-old. Donald Trump Jr. tells Lisa to watch it, and everyone has a good laugh. But I bet Donald and Ivanka have their own opinions on his dad’s zygote girlfriends. Don Jr. decides it’s between Dayana and Lou for firing, with Ivanka backing him up on how weak Lou is, as a player.

Today is Dayana’s fifth time in the boardroom! Will she ever get to drink a glass of champagne in the war room? Lisa and Dayana bring up how Lou always brings up criticisms after the fact, but is useless during the task itself. Lisa even accuses Lou of using his disability when convenient.  In the end, Lou ends up getting fired for his lack of loyalty. This was such a huge error. The Trumps like to stick together and Lou’s comment was a huge offense, even bigger than the fact he didn’t do anything during the task.

He tries to beg Donald a bit for his job back, but Trump says no and he walks away. The elevator attendant remains my favorite person of this show.

TELL US: DO YOU AGREE WITH LAST NIGHT’S FIRING? WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE TURN AROUND BETWEEN LISA AND DAYANA? WHO DO YOU THINK HAS A CHANCE TO WIN THIS?

Apparently, Crystal Light is attempting to cash in on Bethenny Frankel’s lady drinker gravy train and has created a line of drinks inspired by cocktails. This week’s assignment for our celebrities was to each throw a fabulous launch party for two of the drinks: Peach Bellini and Pomtini. Immediately, I thought that Teresa Giudice was a natural choice for project manager. Not only has she thrown several huge parties on Real Housewives of New Jersey, but she actually has a line of (alcoholic) Bellini’s on the market.

Instead, Aubrey took the job for Forte. No one mentioned it on the show, but I really feel disappointed that Teresa didn’t step up on this task. Is her strategy simply just to coast? Clay Aiken talking heads that Aubrey is a natural for this task, because “Aubrey popped right out of her momma’s chotch and started grabbing on to the stripper pole.” Clay Aiken: hilarious! Who knew?

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For the men’s team, Clay took on the project manager job for the first time. The men’s team picked the Peach Bellini and the women’s team took on the Pomtini. I can already tell I hate typing those two terms and I will have to type them at least a thousand more times. Anyway, the teams leave the random rooftop they are on and get started on the party planning.

It’s clear from the quiet vibe of the men’s van that none of them know where to begin with this task. Arsenio Hall describes himself as a recluse, which I believe, since no one has seen him in public prior to this show for, maybe, 20 years. In contrast, the women’s team already has an idea ready, courtesy of Aubrey’s extensions. Maybe they soak her brain in omega 3 oils so she can come up with this stuff. Aubrey and her constant companion, Lisa Lampanelli both gravitate towards this “forbidden fruit” theme and Aubrey talking heads that many cultures think pomegranates are the forbidden fruit, and not the apple, as is commonly thought. For all you biblical scholars out there, Aubrey was actually correct!

The Crystal Light suits show up to meet the teams and emphasize to each that they have to be sassy, vibrant and fun. Aubrey talking heads that she’s worried the theme will conflict with the brand messaging, but decides to go on with it anyway. Finally, the men settle on a beach theme, courtesy of Clay, called “Life’s A Peach.” Get it, like a beach!?

Aubrey ends up being a fantastic project manager; she actually gives everyone a specific job to do and does not lose her cool, like Lisa or let the task get out of control, like Dayana Mendoza‘s turn. She gives Teresa the job of getting furniture, which I thought was a brilliant call-out to her infamous scene of buying thousands of dollars in gaudy furniture in cash. Teresa loves the role and says (with a straight face), “I have been told by my friends I have exquisite taste.” Teresa might need new friends. Her big role culminates into getting a carpet installed in the party space, and yelling at the dude on the phone when the carpet is late. She also makes Crystal Light popsicles, which just look weird and amateur.

The men rally and work together well, like they always do. Penn Jillette seems especially careful not to piss Clay off after last week’s argument about Penn’s demeanor. Dee Snider interviews that the men have thrown a typical dude event with no tables, no coasters and no little details, but in the end, the men’s party ends up looking like a lot more fun than the women’s more sophisticated affair. Clay gets his devoted fans, the awfully named “Claymates” to come out to support his venture and Arsenio does a great job of being cruise director. Somehow, they were even able to get Kathie Lee and Hoda Kotb to show up to an event without alcohol, which is impressive.

Over at the ladies’ event, the only snafu is in the signage. Patricia Velasquez was put in charge of this yet again, and rather than run her signs by Lisa or Aubrey, she remains silent and gets the posters printed without approval. When they arrive, none have Crystal Light on them, but focus on the name of the beverage. Patricia keeps saying that Aubrey and Lisa are creating a very negative work environment for her, but in this instance, I just don’t see it. The work environment for Forte is the best it’s been all season.

Other highlights: Debbie Gibson hustled that comeback career, yet again, and managed to find another excuse to sing. She creates an extremely addictive jingle for Crystal Light, which is recorded and given to guests as favors, to be sold on eBay later on. Dayana tags along for the recording and makes supportive noises. It looks like Aubrey just pawned Dayana off on Debbie in order to avoid her. Dayana’s biggest contribution this week ends up being her inviting several of her beauty pageant friends. Every good party needs attractive people, she said. That’s one way to appeal to Donald Trump in the boardroom; keep mentioning good-looking women and pageants.

When we get to the boardroom, Dayana is once again singled out for elimination by Aubrey, along with Patricia. Me thinks there is an alliance between the other contestants. If there is, once they are forced to turn each other on, it’ll make for epic drama. On the men’s side, in a moment of nervousness, Clay ends up picking three folks: Paul Teutul, Dee and Lou Ferrigno, who can not avoid the chopping block no matter how many percents he gives.

The feedback is given and the women get dinged the most for not emphasizing Crystal Light enough on the signage. There goes Patricia. Somehow, the men end up winning, yet again. I would have given the win to the women, solely because of the jingle and because I think ultimately, the women captured the overall feel of the product better than the men. But, the men’s party was more fun. The men’s concepts are much more straight-forward, and I think this is the key to their success.

Anyway, back in the boardroom, Aubrey, Patricia and Dayana are up. Aubrey won’t stop crying, but manages to talk her way out of a firing. Dayana somehow miraculously stays, because Donald overvalued her contribution of “pretty people.” Ultimately, Patricia’s mistake with the signs cost the women their win and she ends up going home. Everyone cries and holds hands as they leave, which surprises Donald and Ivanka, since they are unfamiliar with the range of human emotions.

Next week: a three-hour episode, because NBC is trying to kill us! A brief request if you made it this far: this is a very long show to recap and I always end up missing stuff to discuss. What would you like to see more of? If you have constructive feedback, I’d love to hear it!

TELL US: DO YOU AGREE WITH THIS WEEK’S FIRING? WHO HAD THE BETTER PARTY?