Last night Real Housewives of Atlanta was a total filler before the finale episode, which meant it was low on drama as Bravo lets us go into withdrawal in preparation for next week!
Things begin at Kandi Burruss' housewarming party where one furious former beauty queen is storming around, causing a tornado and unleashing the twirl of death. She's knocking over plants, tossing things at unsuspecting guests, laser eyebeams seeking her next victim as everyone cowers in fear hiding behind their wine glasses. It's only Kenya Moore, but that's like saying it's only the atomic bomb.
As Walter Jackson and "date" scurry out the back door, Kenya's mane of death is twirling faster and faster and faster while she screams "SECURITY!" until Don Juan is dispatched to guide this furious storm to the safety of the parking lot. There, her only victim may be an unsuspecting Bentley – its life cut perilously short by an enraged Miss TWIRL-S-A.
Kenya rants and raves about how Walter is stalking her and ruining all her social functions by showing up to intentionally destroy her. 'Get this Bentley out of my way Don Juan because I swear I'm about to pretend it's Walter and render it impotent. Oh wait – Walter is already impotent. Didn't you know?!'
Do you or someone you know have a daughter between the ages of five and eighteen who can twerk it on the pageant stage? If so, Real Housewives of Atlanta'sCynthia Bailey is looking for her! The model turned agency owner is putting on another pageant…you know, after that first one was such a success! The fierce Ms. Bailey is now registering young ladies to compete in her 2013 Renaissance Pageant.
I can say with confidence that Cynthia is currently honing her craft of finding the most beautiful and talented girls while acting as a modeling judge during Charleston Fashion Week. If you think I was stalking her when I attended one of the shows last night, you would be correct! Unfortunately, Cynthia isn't arriving until today (thanks, Twitter!), but the gorgeous girl I went to support (one of my former first grade students–my, they grow up so fast!), promised to report back with all things Cynthia throughout the remainder of the week, and Cynthia will be judging her on Friday when she walks as one of the top ten models of the week. Sorry, I'm just so proud!
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE INFO ON CYNTHIA'S PAGEANT!
Last night on Real Housewives of Atlanta we dealt with the ghosts of fauxlationships past when Bravo the ladies did everything in their power to force a confrontation between former business partners boyfriend and girlfriend Kenya Moore and Walter Jackson. Much to my dismay, that did not happen. As a small consolation we got several delusional talking head rants from Kenya and one Kenyantrum.
Before any of that happened Porsha Stewart tried to navigate the nearly impossible task of taking a pregnancy test. EPT stands for Error Proof Test… until Porsha gets her hands on it! Girl actually thought you had to pee for two whole minutes instead of waiting 2 minutes for the results.
Porsha and Kordell poured over the instructions in panicked frustration for about an hour like it was a map to buried treasure. And Kontroll doesn't want to hire a nanny? Lord help us all… And correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't Porsha pregnant before? She has definitely done the whole pee on a stick song and dance. Anyway, she's not pregnant. And poor Porsha looked really sad to realize that once again the yams had not worked. All she got for her troubles was some orange poop and one completely apathetic Kontroll. Worst. Reaction. Ever.
Last night the ladies ofReal Housewives of Atlanta took their bickering and kill'em with kindness values to Las Vegas where things got um… well things got as invasive as a gynecological exam. There were strip clubs, Bedroom Kandi parties, and a marriage intervention with Porsha Stewart because apparently being a prude is so last season, right NeNe Leakes?
Things begin with Cynthia Bailey and Kenya Moore swapping moisturizer (Kenya doesn't want to be called "ashy feet" again!) and discussing dinner the night before as they pack for Vegas. Apparently the two are now BFF… when did this happen? I mean that's fine but didn't they hate each other a few episodes ago and now all of the sudden Cynthia is the only person Kenya can trust on this show?
Anyway, Kenya doesn't feel comfortable explaining to the other women that the reason she and Walter Jackson broke up is because the whole relationship was fake to begin with and he was tired of people around town actually thinking he would wife that. Mmmm-mmmmm! Walter is not about to ring Krayonce. He is not some hillbilly Kroy Biermann who is going to get run over by the Gold Digger Express.
Our favorite reality TV stars can’t get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to Twitter to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite photos from the Twitterverse this week! Enjoy!
Do not be late to a party hosted by Ms. NeNe Leakes or you will likely find yourself hanging out in your designer shoes (and unflattering leopard print pants) in the driveway begging for a doggybag!
Last week the ladies of Real Housewives of Atlanta were over two hours late to a dinner party hosted by Ms. Leakes and she dejected them at the door. Many wondered why, if you were so tardy for the party, you wouldn't call ahead?
Cynthia Baileyreveals that she did call NeNe to communicate their lateness, and even though she was ready on time she decided to stay and wait for the other ladies.
"I had been communicating with NeNe since we landed, and I knew she was a little stressed trying to get the dinner party together for us because of her work schedule. At one point, I actually thought about offering to come a little early to help her out.