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Last night was the season finale of Real Housewives of Atlanta. I would say it was a little sweet and a little classy, but it wasn't. It was mostly a lotta ratchet.
See Kenya Moore threw the big end of the season party. And at Kenya's party she wants things her way – or the highway. Well, parking lot at least. Kenya decided her Atlanta "coming out" event would be an Iconic Black Women In Film gala. She assigned all the ladies of RHOA a character because there was to be some sort of performance associated with the role. The only performing I saw was a low-budget runway show in which they all waltzed up on stage did a couple hip pops and sat back down on a folding chair in the audience. Apparently that's how Krayonce defines a play though cause she was two shades of bent out of bootyshape about Porsha Stewart coming in the wrong costume.
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We have certainly seen Real Housewives of Atalanta's NeNe Leakes rise to stardom since she first appeared on the Bravo franchise. Of course, as NeNe's fame increased–and her shows multiplied–her marriage suffered. When she divorced long-time husband Gregg, many assumed that their relationship couldn't handle the pressure of NeNe's celebrity. Heck, her friendships certainly couldn't handle it…WIG!
Well, as we saw on this season's RHOA, Gregg and NeNe are working through their problems and planning a lavish second wedding. NeNe even reveals that former bestie/archnemesis Kim Zolciak will be invited to the big affair. Did I just see a pig fly by my window?
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Last night Real Housewives of Atlanta was a total filler before the finale episode, which meant it was low on drama as Bravo lets us go into withdrawal in preparation for next week!
Things begin at Kandi Burruss' housewarming party where one furious former beauty queen is storming around, causing a tornado and unleashing the twirl of death. She's knocking over plants, tossing things at unsuspecting guests, laser eyebeams seeking her next victim as everyone cowers in fear hiding behind their wine glasses. It's only Kenya Moore, but that's like saying it's only the atomic bomb.
As Walter Jackson and "date" scurry out the back door, Kenya's mane of death is twirling faster and faster and faster while she screams "SECURITY!" until Don Juan is dispatched to guide this furious storm to the safety of the parking lot. There, her only victim may be an unsuspecting Bentley – its life cut perilously short by an enraged Miss TWIRL-S-A.
Kenya rants and raves about how Walter is stalking her and ruining all her social functions by showing up to intentionally destroy her. 'Get this Bentley out of my way Don Juan because I swear I'm about to pretend it's Walter and render it impotent. Oh wait – Walter is already impotent. Didn't you know?!'
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Do you or someone you know have a daughter between the ages of five and eighteen who can twerk it on the pageant stage? If so, Real Housewives of Atlanta's Cynthia Bailey is looking for her! The model turned agency owner is putting on another pageant…you know, after that first one was such a success! The fierce Ms. Bailey is now registering young ladies to compete in her 2013 Renaissance Pageant.
I can say with confidence that Cynthia is currently honing her craft of finding the most beautiful and talented girls while acting as a modeling judge during Charleston Fashion Week. If you think I was stalking her when I attended one of the shows last night, you would be correct! Unfortunately, Cynthia isn't arriving until today (thanks, Twitter!), but the gorgeous girl I went to support (one of my former first grade students–my, they grow up so fast!), promised to report back with all things Cynthia throughout the remainder of the week, and Cynthia will be judging her on Friday when she walks as one of the top ten models of the week. Sorry, I'm just so proud!
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