The ladies of Real Housewives of Atlanta did what they do best last night – put on some high, high heels and trash each other's relationships. Kenya Moore is slaying marriages left and right because her job is apparently The Divorce Whisperer. She needs to focus on her own fantasy man because the so-called oil tycoon, well I think he's pumping gas at the Sheetz after she paid his coming to America salary.
Things begin with Cynthia Bailey and Peter celebrating their three-year anniversary. Has it really been three years since Cynthia was nearly kidnapped to prevent her from walking down the aisle wearing a duct tape and hefty bag wedding gown? Time flies when you're being crazy!
Cynthia's friend Natalie and her husband Christopher show up to talk about how Cynthia and Peter are not having sex. Natalie reveals that she knows Kandi Burruss' fiance Todd. And apparently Todd is quite the hustler who was known for trying to date up – or put himself in positions to reap the benefits of his associations. "Basically Todd's an opportunist?" Cynthia asks. I wonder if Natalie has been talking to Mama Joyce?
Phaedra Parks is still reeling over Chuck-gate. Lest you forget he accused her of being a member of the Big Homie Team. As it turns out the only thing big about Chuck is his forehead and his ego. He's actually more like a little homie, or as Phaedra tells Kandi Burruss: "bitesized brownies and a cocktail sausage." Ouch.
Kandi is shocked that Chuck would classify their relationship so falsely, I'm shocked her chunky little dog is eating Pringles. Seriously – what adult purchases Pringles? Phaedra wonders if Kandi's dog needs a Colt 45 to go with his "ghetto" snack. She also calls Chuck a pig. Because he is one.
Kenya Moore and her desperate to get screentime frienemy Miss Lawrence meet for lunch to gossip about Sav-AWN-a, as pronounced wrong by Krayonce. Kenya reveals that apparently everyone in Atlanta, or at least everyone one in Atlanta that is also on RHOA, has slept with Chuck Smith.
Kenya giggles that Chuck didn't want to put a ring on "jumpoff" Phaedra Parks, because naturally the only reason a man wouldn't want to marry a woman is because she's a jumpoff. Not because people date but don't always fall in love and then they move on. Six proposals, one hired boyfriend, and a Nigerian prince she met on gmail later, Krayonce doesn't seem to understand the behaviors of a normal relationship.
Speaking of Chuck, he invited Phaedra and NeNe Leakes to Athens to propose that they all speak at the Boys & Girls Club there because Chuck is very involved. NeNe now knows Phaedra from growing up. Phaedra reminds us Athens is a one-horse, or one Dairy Queen town, with two high schools and everyone knows of everyone, just in case NeNe forgot.
Is someone thinking of pulling a Dina Manzo? Don't Be Tardy'sKim Zolciak has been having baby after baby, but I do believe that she's finally done. After giving birth to four children in three years, could Kim be ready to return to the show that made her wigs so famous?
Kim didn't leave Real Housewives of Atlanta on the good terms (to put it mildly), and she's had lots of, um, ups and downs with former bestie NeNe Leakes, Would she really be interested in going down that path again?
Kenya Moore always has her own version of events! Isn't that why we love to hate her?
In this week's episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta the ladies continued their trip to Savannah and Kenya surprisingly reached out to Phaedra Parks in an attempt to extend the olive branch. Unfortunately Phaedra was over her.
"I have never seen any genuine emotion from Phaedra – no tears, no anger, no pain… even when her child was born she’s never exhibited any vulnerability whatsoever," Kenya writes in her Bravo blog. "I’ve only seen her make snide behind-the-back remarks and a slew of hateful lies… All reasons why it’s easy to say she is fake.
She begins by putting her childless co-stars in their place, writing, "Kenya and Porsha have no clue about parenting, so let's just let them stay in their room and do their fake hug and cry. I love it! Moving on!"
Taking a dig at Apollo Nida, NeNe continues, "As Phaedra said, 'I have had problems with my son.' Now Phaedra you are entitled to your opinion, but the facts remain, you don't know anything about my children. Have you ever met Bryson? If so, it couldn’t have been but once. Remember you have two young boys to raise! Let's pray they don't do six years in prison, because you know the apple doesn't fall far from the tree." I mean, is the sun even out anymore? Shade, shade, shade!
The Real Housewives of Atlanta continued their girls trip to Savannah where some unlikely bonding occurred – it only took a cockroach and some southern comfort food to bring them all together! Collective "awwwwwww".
Despite a fight about Chuck's very Housewives past, things are all fine the next morning as the women come together to make breakfast and gossip. Kandi Burruss shares that she and Todd "skypesex" and she shows him her vag. I hope she doesn't end with an accidental sex tape when Krayonce hacks her phone or something out of revenge! Apparently Porsha Stewart had something pierced down there: TMI.
Doing a 180, Cynthia Bailey says that Noelle has a boyfriend but there is no unsupervised time as the parents are very involved. She thinks it's better to be supportive than put her foot down and have Noelle rebel. "I'd rather be picking up Arthur than picking up a grandbaby," Cynthia explains. #cosign!
Kandi and Cynthia relate about parenting girls vs. parenting boys - as Phaedra Parks puts it, with boys you only have to worry about one "dingaling" but with girls you have to worry about everybody else's dingaling. NeNe Leakes doesn't care: she thinks Noelle is too young to date and Cynthia is making a mistake supporting it.