Summer is over, the girls and their mothers are back in Los Angeles, and JoJo is on a hoverboard. It’s got all the makings for a dramatic (and extra-long, I’m sure!) season. That’s right, dear readers! Dance Moms returned last night, and Abby Lee Miller brought the crazy…which she promises has nothing to do with her upcoming absences. Please. Kendall hopes that the finished studio will be good for Abby’s soul…she can’t be hateful in this beautiful space, right? Melissa brags that Maddie isn’t in attendance because she’s filming a movie, oh, and she’s now Kalani’s legal guardian so the teen can dance with the group while her mother Kira gets married and gives birth. Timing, you know. Abby interrupts the clucking hens, and she is beyond peeved at their Nationals loss. She lectures her clearly defeated group of dancers about their recent humiliation as the mothers purse their lips and the girls fight back tears.
Abby declares a ban on any extra work. No music videos, no appearances, no auditions, just dance. JoJo’s mother points out the hypocrisy that Maddie is filming a movie. Jill screams about her loyalty and how Kendall was turning down jobs left and right, as Kendall bawls, pleading for her mother not to make things worse with Abby. Abby then declares all of her dancers on the bottom of the pyramid before introducing Brynn to fill the incredible void left by Maddie. Brynn’s mother Ashlee does the requisite amount of sucking up as the other moms sulk.
I don’t know about you, but last night’s parade of bump-its, spray tans, and grown-a$$ women dressed in prom dresses was exactly what I’d expect from the Dance Moms Reunion. As the mothers get dolled up pageant style, we learn that Abby Lee Miller has been texting them constantly, forbidding them from attending the reunion. Of course, when she finds out they are already there, she arrives and silently takes her seat, putting a slew of papers under the cushion.
As the show begins, Abby refuses to speak to anyone because she’s classy like that. I’m thrilled that Jeff Collins dialed back the orange tint in his hair from the last go-round. As the mom take the stage, Jeff rehashes the Nationals upset. Abby holds up a sign that reads, “Fixed!” Jill explains that the competition was orchestrated, and Holly interrupts to say that yes, the awards ceremony was a mess, but they’ve never complained when the ALDC won. No one cries “fixed” then! Jessalyn touts that it made their team seem like sore losers, and suddenly Abby has found her voice with Jill and Melissa co-signing her every word.
Congratulations, dear readers. We did it. And more importantly, we did it together. We survived yet another season of Abby Lee Miller’s shenanigans on Dance Moms (not counting the reunion, of course…that will be a gem!). Pat yourself on the back. You are stronger than you thought you could be. After last week, the Nationals soloists were up in the air, but finally we got see some amazing drama–and even better dancing!
The finale episode begins with Abby corralling the girls to hype up Nationals and poo-poo the ALDC’s track record thus far this season. Jill hopes that Abby will focus and become the leader the team needs, but learning the Jeanette’s team is competing has her off her rocker per the usual. Abby is stressed about the studio opening, and Jessalyn wonders how in the world it will be finished in time. JoJo is on the bottom of the pyramid for constantly needing corrections, followed by MacKenzie. Kendall rounds out the bottom for being “okay.” Kalani is third on the pyramid for placing third in the competition, with Maddie holding down the second spot. Woo hoo! A deserving Nia tops the pyramid for being the overall high scoring solo. Finally.
Can you see the light at the end of the tunnel? After last night’s episode the season finale of Dance Moms is finally within our reach! Thanks for hanging in there with me…I know sometimes Abby Lee Miller makes it a tad difficult! Maddie has pretty much solidified her solo at Nationals, and last night Abby pitted Kalani against Nia for another spot in the competition, with a side of some major drama…per the usual!
Kira is feeling better after last week’s pregnancy scare, and the moms are glad to have her back and ready to face MDP. Holly is fearful that the ALDC is going to become the MDP’s version of the Candy Apples. Jill is missing from pyramid because she’s back home at her daughter’s graduation. She has left Kendall in Melissa’s care in Los Angeles. Before announcing the pyramid, Abby is thrilled about the grand opening of the West Coast ALDC studio, but she lectures the girls on their priorities. She doesn’t think most are ready for Nationals.
The closer we get to Nationals, the closer we get to the season finale of Dance Moms, and you know what that means! We’re one episode closer to a (fingers crossed!) a break from Abby Lee Miller. She’s been pitting her girls head-to-head in solos, and last night Maddie faced off against Kendall for another week in the running for Nationals. Y’all know Jill was on pins and needles watching her daughter’s dreams unfold!
The ALDC and the moms are excited to arrive at Abby’s new studio. There’s a dumpster outside, so that means progress! As everyone enters for the first practice in the new space, they are thrilled to see all that has transpired. Abby is in an amazing mood (for once), and she plans to have her grand opening the same time as Nationals so that the girls will be around to meet people and sign autographs before heading back to Pittsburgh. Jill worries that her focus will now be more on the studio and less on the important competition. While Abby is glad about last week’s win, she hasn’t seen any improvement from her team in the last year. She’s worried they’ve been blinded by the bright lights of Hollywood. Someone on this show has…that’s for sure!
After last week’s emotional episode, the ALDC is one week closer to Nationals, and they are potentially down one very talented dancer and one instigating and annoying mom. Last night’s Dance Moms begins with the mothers waiting outside their Los Angeles dance space hoping that Kira will show up with Kalani. Melissa reveals that Kira won’t be allowing Kalani to rejoin the team per a phone conversation they had. Do you think Abby Lee Miller cares? Of course not! The mothers rehash Kira’s initial fight with Abby and concur that it should be Kalani’s decision as to whether she continues to compete with the ALDC.
At pyramid, Abby is still on a high for beating the Candy Apples, now helmed by Jeanette. The team will be going head to head with the Candy Apples again, and Holly wonders if Abby misses Kalani, with Jill adding that her absence creates a void. Nope. Not a bit. Kalani walked out on an amazing opportunity. Next! JoJo is on the bottom of the pyramid for awful feet and her ability to correct them, followed by Nia for being less than mesmerizing. MacKenzie is in the third seat for un-expressive eyes. Maddie is in the second spot to remind her she needs to be knocked down a few pegs…she needs to work harder for that top spot. It’s not a given. Kendall is deservedly at the top of the pyramid, and Jill is practically salivating with glee.
I knew it was too much to ask for another Abby Lee Miller bye-week on Dance Moms. It’s like my week is just full of Mondays! It’s deja vu as the episode begins with the moms yet again wondering if the ALDC leader will show her face this week. Kira announces that she’s enlisted Kalani’s hometown dance teacher Alexa to work on a solo for Kira at this week’s competition in Phoenix. Jill wonders if it’s such a good idea to defy the crazy lady to whom they subject their children, but Kira retorts that if Abby has a problem with her decision, perhaps she and her daughter will leave with her original instructor. Kira also shares the rumor that Jeanette has taken over Candy Apples with good ol’ Cathy. I am not sure I’m up for all of this drama (pours wine, shovels Trader Joe’s mac and cheese into mouth for a late dinner/really ate lunch…)!
Across town, Jeanette reveals that Cathy won’t be joining the Candy Apples in Los Angeles this week, but she’s gotten her blessing to lead the studio to victory. The Candy Apple moms must have gotten a Groupon on Botox. Jeanette cites their group number as an interpretation of people who get a taste of fame and go crazy. The ALDC girls notice that there is no pyramid set up this week, and Abby enters, totally ignoring all of the moms. Holly questions her intentions, and she coldly leads the girls in warm-up and mentions her attendance will be determined on a daily basis. Kira mentions her plans to have Kalani to work with her hometown instructor, and Abby says she’ll think about it…not.
In case you were wondering, last night’s Dance Moms was supposed to be all about Kendall, at least that was Jill’s hope. Alas, it was not the case, but I was quite happy about Abby Lee Miller’s absence for the entire hour. I needed the break…desperately. The episode begins with the girls wondering the fate of their friend Kalani and the mothers rehashing Abby’s epic tantrum with Kira. Not surprisingly, Abby is missing in action, and Gianna pretends to now know where their fearless leader is. Gianna grants each dancer a solo in light of Nationals being five weeks away. Wait, what? Does that mean this season is going to be even longer than normal? Geez. JoJo announces that she won’t be competing this week because she’s opening for Kids Bop at Disneyland. I have no clue what that means, but way to go?!?
As Kendall works on her routine, Gianna goads her about losing to Nia the previous week, and Holly questions how Kendall’s single is doing. Jill beams that the song, which dropped this week, is number one in Ireland, and Holly gushes about how exciting that is. However, it’s pretty obvious she only asked to segue into what’s going on with Nia’s budding pop career. I expected more from you, Holly! Jessalyn wonders if Jill is upset that Abby isn’t around to show her support for Kendall’s single, and Jill admits neither she nor Kendall ever know where they stand with Abby. Well, duh…she’s unstable! Nia and Holly then meet with Nia’s manager/producer who wants her to try her hand at rapping. Holly can’t wait to gloat share this news with the other moms.