Last night’s Dance Moms was it…the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT. I think I took it about as well as Abby Lee Miller, and I’ve had a head’s up for months! 🙂 As the episode begins, the mothers are all atwitter about whether Melissa and her daughters will be sticking with the ALDC. When asked pointblank, Melissa admits that Maddie and MacKenzie will be exploring other opportunities and will no longer be a part of the elite team. Jill feels betrayed. Holly is confused that she wasn’t able to share this news long before now. Ashlee (I’m not shocked) is convinced that Melissa leaked the news of Maddie’s departure to the media herself in order to create more of a buzz. She may actually be on to something! Melissa promises she was just following her attorney’s advice, and hey, at least the moms’ know before MacKenzie does…she has no clue. Melissa predicts that Abby will be sad about letting go of her daughters, but happy that she’s prepared them for fame. Good luck with that.
Melissa approaches Abby who seems more consumed with her lipstick than Melissa’s admission. Melissa hems and haws and feigns fake tears while staring at the ceiling before breaking the news that this her daughters’ last season with the ALDC. Abby freezes, and Melissa is quick to assure the emotionally fragile studio owner that she had nothing to do with the rumors that her daughters would be peacing out from Abby’s tutelage. Abby quickly regains composure and warns Melissa that Maddie better never be on So You Think You Can Dance, Kids! Melissa back pedals. Melissa stumbles over her words, “Um no, Maddie won’t be, um, dancing on So You Think You Can Dance, Kids. No, no dancing. I can promise you I have never even heard of that new show that my daughter is in no way affiliated with so, um…” Don’t quit your day job, Melissa, if your day job is not being a giant liar. Abby tears up and acknowledges the cameras…why did Melissa wait until now to break this news? Could she not have given her a courtesy phone call?
On last night’s Dance Moms, Christ-y returns! Ashlee wanders into the viewing room to a find a new mother. Christy explains that she’s not exactly “new,” since Abby Lee Miller has been training her daughter Sarah for ages. Ashlee looks a bit deflated and admits that while her daughter has been working hard to make the team, she’s not very popular with the moms. Christy understands…and agrees with Ashlee’s detractors. Abby needs to keep to girls she’s been training since they could walk, and she warns that Brynn’s ALDC jacket can easily be taken away from her. It’s extremely rich when Melissa enters and hugs Christy, thanking her for her support and text messages. Could this be more fake? When Jill and Holly welcome Christ-y with open arms, I know it must be a sign of the apocalypse. They all used to hate this woman. Ashlee is basically Christ-y 2.0! At least Jessalyn remembers how horrible she was.
At pyramid, Abby praises the girls’ David Bowieroutine. The bottom row is comprised of Kalani (she’s absent for her great-grandfather’s funeral), MacKenzie (sloppy feet), and JoJo (good job in the group number, there’s no real reason why she was arbitrarily placed on the lowest rung). Kendall follows on the second tier for making it through a morning without a meltdown, and Maddie is shockingly in the third spot for her silly string aim. Nia is in second for a great performance in the group number, and Brynn takes the top spot for her solo win.
Last night’s Dance Moms brought the drama, but Abby Lee Miller managed to stay slightly above the fray. You know that means it’s bad! As the episode begins, Abby is as unhinged as ever as she lectures the mothers on not respecting how busy she is as Ashlee lobbies for a pyramid to prove to the other moms that Brynn is worthy of the ALDC jacket. She’s still fuming that the team refuses to accept her daughter as its newest member, and I’m fuming that I get riled up and forget this a scripted mess.
At the studio, JoJo inquires to the whereabouts of Ashlee’s friends, and Ashlee retorts that she has no friends. Meanwhile, Melissa drives her daughters to practice, and Maddie admits that she love Brynn, but her addition to the team was awkward thanks to the mothers. MacKenzie chimes in to say how sad it was that the moms accused Brynn’s win of being rigged, and Melissa quickly shuts her down. “We don’t say that word.”
The minis were back on last night’s Dance Moms, as was Abby Lee Miller’s unstable behavior. Maddie has been nominated for a People’s Choice Award, and Abby has managed to snag two tickets for herself. Jill whines to Melissa that the entire ALDC should be allowed to attend to support Maddie. Good luck with that, Jill! The veteran moms need to stay behind to insult the mini-moms and grill potential newbie Jeannie with her three dancing daughters Coco, Rihanna, and Kaylee. Jeannie has been personally invited by Abby, so of course the moms are immediately wary of her.
Luckily, Ashlee takes some of the heat off Jeannie by interrogating Melissa about Maddiequitting the team. A frazzled, eye-rolling Melissa is quick to deny the rumors, although she looks very much like the cat who ate the canary! Melissa swears that Maddie will never leave the ALDC, but she can’t even keep a straight face as she says it. Abby enters sporting her normal hot-rollered head, warning the remaining mini-moms about how amazing Jeannie’s daughters are in the dance world.
Am I allowed to be excited when the Dance Moms sound technicians and producers are scurrying around the Los Angeles ALDC studio totally gobsmacked as to why Abby Lee Miller and the drama-loving mothers are nowhere in sight? The dancers are there, but they aren’t allowed to be filmed without their moms present. Ashlee and Brynn arrive and are confused as to why they are the only ones in attendance to meet with Abby. A producer reveals that the veteran moms are no-shows, and without them, the girls cannot be on camera. Abby cackles at the wonderful thought of not having to deal with the crazy. Abby has designated this week’s solos to follow the theme of famous L.A .murders. Brynn tries to be cheery as Gianna Googles “Black Dahlia Murder” to get the young dancer in character. Yikes.
Trying to make a point about Abby’s recent shenanigans, the mothers decide to show up late wearing their pjs in a nod to their dance instructor’s erratic behavior. The mothers take issue with Brynn rehearsing sans the remaining ALDC dancers. Abby totally could have let the other girls dance…it didn’t have to be on camera. Ashlee tries to explain that she’s not the reason the girls weren’t allowed to participate, but Jill knows how to push her buttons. The more Ashlee fake cries, the more Jill screeches. It’s cringe-inducing.
Thank goodness Maddie was back on last night’s Dance Moms. She has to mitigate some of Abby Lee Miller’s crazy, right? Um, that’s to be determined. The ALDC welcomes back Maddie from her movie shoot, but Abby is quick to remind her that she didn’t garner the first place spot due to all of her gaps in training. Melissa interrupts to ask Abby if she saw Maddie’s segment on Ellen. Nope! Melissa reminds Abby she e-mailed it so she can still watch it. A dismissive Abby claims she’s too busy to take the time to view the three minute clip, and Maddie is clearly hurt.
If there’s one thing that Abby Lee Miller can consistently do, it’s bring the crazy to Dance Moms. Despite her legal woes, she managed to be a part of last night’s episode–although she appeared to be on the verge of a mental breakdown the entire time. However, I don’t think Abby’s as unhinged as she appears…I think it’s all ego. Also, Lifetime, I’m on to you adding nine extra minutes to the episodes this season. Not cool.
Abby is sporting pajamas and rollers as the ALDC waits to practice. Jill has her nose so far up Abby’s bum in hopes of drawing her out of the insanity. “Your hair is going to look so great when you finally take out of those hot rollers,” and, “You don’t want to go out on the bottom…you need to show the world you’ve still got it!” Abby retorts that she wasn’t put on this earth for the Feds to make her look bad. She’s done working with the ALDC. Holly questions whether they should pursue an opportunity with Debbie Allen. They want to be supportive, but if she doesn’t want them there, they don’t have other options. As Abby melts down, she shuns Melissa and Jill who hope she’ll change her mind. Gia is equally stressed as she works with the girls on their group number.
Last night marked Abby Lee Miller’s return to Dance Moms, and it was every bit as ridiculous as every other episode has been for the last few seasons. Please, Lifetime, put this show out of its misery…it’s not fun to watch any more. It’s borderline disturbing. Abby is having some sort of passive aggressive psychotic break on camera, calmly telling the veteran mothers that she was on vacation last week and doesn’t give a flip about the elite team. She’s only back in the studio because her lawyers need to get paid. As Holly leads the charge to pepper Abby with questions, Abby dismisses her with glassy eyes and flippant remarks.
Before the pyramid, Abby criticizes the routines that she wasn’t in the attendance to watch. The minis are included in the pyramid, with the entire crew rounding out the bottom rung. Peyton is in the last place spot for her mother’s deplorable behavior. Abby clearly doesn’t like a mom’s bad behavior being worse than her own, right? JoJo, Brynn, and Kendall make up the next level for their various flawed performances, and Nia and Kalani are in third and second. Abby is shocked that Nia didn’t excel more in African dance given that she’s African-American. No, just no. Holly loses it. Just because Nia’s black doesn’t mean she’s got the lock on African dancing. Abby barely back pedals…she didn’t mean to offend anyone, she just thinks that Nia needs to step up to the plate. MacKenzie takes the top spot. The girls will be dancing a lyrical piece with Brynn in the lead role. Abby warns Brynn that if the elite team loses it will be her fault. Jill takes the opportunity to remind everyone that Ashlee never finds Brynn at fault for anything. Shut it, Jill. Seriously, she is sounding like a broken record. Some mini whose name I’m not going to bother to learn is granted a solo.