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Dance Moms Recap

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The newbies are invading Dance Moms and Abby Lee Miller couldn't be more excited. Melissa is homeschooling both Maddie and MacKenzie so they can have more time to dance. Why are they wearing full make-up? Both Maddie and MacKenzie are happy. Melissa is happy. Most importantly, Abby is thrilled, and really, that's all that matters to Melissa, right? Jill is trying to decide if homeschooling would be right for Kendall so she can step up her game.

Abby calls her girls together and congratulates them for beating Kathy's Candy Apples, and then she quickly reminds them that she kept enough recruits from her Orlando open-call to replace the entire team…even Maddie. Melissa wasn't expecting that bombshell!  Abby is excited to scope out the talent in Atlanta. Holly volunteers her services as a former school recruiter to help with the trip…and spy. Melissa then offers up her daughters and herself to sell Abby's merchandise at the auditions. I'm surprised she's able to speak with her face shoved so far up…well, you know.

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Does Abby Lee Miller get meaner with each passing second on Dance Moms? Seriously Lifetime, repetitive hatefulness is getting a tad boring! I guess they throw in some Cathy and her Candy Apples for some change, much like last night, but it's so formulaic it's ridiculous!

It's time for the pyramid, and poor Payton hobbles in on crutches after her incident last week. She lands on the bottom, and Abby accuses her of hurting her ankle by fooling around in the wings, not from tripping over a chair like she claimed. When Leslie challenges Abby for calling her daughter a liar, Abby kicks her off the team. Leslie is happy to go…she doesn't want to subject her daughter to any more of this. Well, that proves Leslie isn't as crazy as I thought she was. As poor Payton shuffles out, Kendall takes her place on the bottom for being so late to the competition. A teary Kendall offers up an apology card to Abby which is quickly dismissed. Nia is third from the bottom and Abby "compliments" her for blending in and not being the subject of her ridicule. As Nia quietly thanks her, Holly wonders just what her daughter has to do to move further up the pyramid. Brooke rounds out the bottom rung for missing some choreography.

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Last night Abby Lee Miller put her threats into action on Dance Moms. Everyone is replaceable, and she set out to prove it with the first of her open auditions. Leslie arrives at the ALDC as if she didn't have a meltdown at the previous competition about disrespect. Abby explains to Leslie that she takes things too personally and her behavior ends up embarrassing everyone. Jill interrupts their pow-wow to butter up Abby with a new pair of earrings. That's a new low! At the pyramid, Abby touts her open auditions in Orlando, and all the girls and moms look like deer in headlights…except for Maddie, of course. Abby invites Maddie and MacKenzie to travel down early to help her with the auditions. Leslie then opens her mouth to inquire as to why they are the ones who Abby chose to assist her. Abby turns to Payton to tell her that her mom often speaks out of turn, and she should be embarrassed by her behavior.

Payton is on the bottom, but she fully expected to be there thanks to her mother. Kendall follows, and Jill is beyond confused. Why did she bother with the earrings? As Kendall is on the verge of tears, Abby reminds her that she needs to cut out the crying. Nia then Paige round out the bottom tier. Kelly is complimented for not causing drama. MacKenzie is in fourth, with Brooke in the third spot. Abby explains to her that she can balance dancing and singing as long as she's performing to the best of her ability. Chloe is in second for following Kendall when she was supposed to dance before her. Once again, Maddie graces the top of the pyramid. Maddie and MacKenzie both get solos, but MacKenzie won't be dancing in the group routine. Brooke will be leading a trio with Paige and Chloe as background dancers. Abby asks the moms to tweet about her open auditions, but Holly refuses to aid in finding a replacement for her daughter. Curses! Abby is foiled again. Not shockingly, Melissa promises to tweet the news.

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Is it me, or is Abby Lee Miller getting more and more orange with each episode of Dance Moms

As always, we start with the pyramid and a hefty dose of insults about the group's third place finish. Abby will not be embarrassed in front of the Cathy and her purse slapping Candy Apples. Peyton is the on the bottom for her tearful hair tantrum. She should be a role model and not a baby. Brooke follows for missing four counts of the group dance, and Nia is third for the bottom for slipping out of her aerial and not placing in her solo division. McKenzie rounds out the bottom row for being too rambunctious in the dressing room. Paige is last on the second row for being good, not great. Ditto for Kendall. Chloe beams when she's second on the pyramid, and it's no surprise that Maddie is in the top spot with ridiculous praise. Kendall and Chloe get solos to prove which one is truly second to Maddie. Maddie gets to rest this week…Abby is tired of her star student carrying the entire troupe. The group number is called "Just Another Number" to remind the girls exactly what they are in the studio. The girls will be dancing as Maddie's clones. Abby hopes to find more Maddie clones at her upcoming open call.

The mothers are in the viewing area, and for once they are in agreement. The theme of the group number sends the wrong message to their daughters, and third place isn't going to cut it against Cathy's dancers. Holly hopes that placing so low the week before will humble the girls into working even harder. In Ohio, Cathy is excited to have choreographer Blake McGrath compete with Abby's lyrical numbers. Black Patsy's daughter is looked over for a solo which goes to Miami's Lucas. Kaya accuses Bridgette of getting her son the dance by partying with Blake 24/7.

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Abby Lee Miller was back with a vengeance on last night's premiere of Dance Moms. At least they revamped the opener though, right?  At the studio, Abby corrals the girls and their mothers for an announcement. Abby congratulates her Nationals winners while taking passive aggressive digs at everyone. She reveals that she will be holding open auditions in Atlanta, Orlando, and New York. Everyone is replaceable, y'all!

Chloe is at the bottom of the pyramid since Christi made such a scene with Leslie on Bourbon Street during Nationals and Abby gave them the boot. Christi hopes to focus more on her daughter's dancing and less on the mama drama this year. We'll see how long that lasts!  Chloe apologizes to her team and promises to work her hardest. Peyton follows Chloe on the bottom for the same reason. Nia is the first actual Nationals participant to be on the bottom, followed by Brooke. Nia looks totally crestfallen, and Holly is upset. Nia is at every class and every extra practice. She is working her little bum off! Brooke is chastised for missing one class while attending New York Fasion Week (really?), and sister Paige is last on the middle tier since things just aren't clicking. Is it just me, or are these new head shots just too much? Mackenzie is next for being second in division at Nationals. Kendall is one spot away from the top of the pyramid when Abby announces that there's been a mistake. She switches out Nia's headshot for Kendall's. Jill is livid. Kendall tries not to cry as Abby complains about Kendall missing a week of booty camp to go on vacation. Maddie is on the top. Surprise, surprise!

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Yea!  It's OVER! How I've missed you, Jeff Collins.  Lookatcha!  He's got a fresh new hairstyle (not to mention new color) and a sleeker, hipper suit than in Dance Moms reunions past. He's also cracking jokes as he introduces Hurricane Abby Lee Miller.  He begins the evening by showing the Christi/Leslie smack down on Burboun Street, and Abby admonishes them for the trash they are.  It is no way to represent the Abby Lee Dance Company.

Original Extra Crispy Christi and Leslie come out to share their side of the brawl.  Christi has a prepared speech where she takes responsibility for her actions while reminding everyone that Leslie has a history of violence.  Leslie talks only about her loyalty to her daughters and Abby and how she wants to make a name for her girls in the entertainment industry.  She doesn't understand why Christi is so threatened by her.  Oh, she's making a name for her poor girls alright (and so is Christi!).

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Is there any end in sight for Dance Moms?  It seems that if Abby Lee Miller has her way, she'll be gracing our small screens every Tuesday from here to eternity! Of course, last night was the finale (I'm still not convinced the season is over), and the ALDC traveled to New Orleans.  Abby is revealing the final pyramid before Nationals.  Paige is on the bottom, followed by Nia,  then Paige.  All are called out for nit-picky mistakes.  Much to Jill's chagrin, Kendall is also on the bottom tier.  She reminds Abby that her duet with Maddie won first.  An overly orange Abby asks Kendall to tell her mother to zip it.  Seriously, what is up with that spray tan?  Abby reminds me off Ross on Friends when he keeps getting sprayed only on his front (I do so love that episode!).

Peyton rounds out the bottom and Leslie squeals with glee.  It looks like someone hitched a ride on the ALDC bus to Louisiana!  Abby reminds everyone how much Peyton wants to be a part of the team.  Chloe is fourth for being a better dancer two years ago than she is now.  Asia is third for being awesome in her duet, but Abby calls her a hot mess in the group number.  MacKenzie is second, with sister Maddie taking the top spot.  Abby praises her duet and tells her she wishes she'd danced it as a solo.  Sorry Kendall!

The group routine will be a tribute to the victims of Hurricane Katrina.  To be "fair," Abby is teaching everyone a solo…although she's pitting each of the girls against one another. Petyon and Brooke will be learning the same choreography.  Kendall and Chloe will face off for the next solo, as will Asia and MacKenzie.  Paige, Nia, and Maddie will vie for the final spot…because that's a fair match-up!  Holly knows that it won't be a level playing field with Maddie in Nia's group.

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Maybe Lifetime has no intention of ever ending this season of Dance Moms.  Since Abby Lee Miller despises the moms so much, you'd think she'd want to put a cap on the number of episodes I have to watch, er, um, I mean, in which she has to participate! 

The ALDC is back in Pennsylvania, and Abby is proud of her dancers' showing in Vegas.  MacKenzie finds herself at the bottom of the pyramid for being absent, followed by Paige for forgetting her solo.  Abby does, however, compliment her performance in the group number.  Brooke is one step above her sister, although Abby doesn't think that her solo showcased Brooke's true talent.  Nia rounds out the bottom for excelling in rehearsals but flubbing up in competition.  When Nia blames her hat for her dancing woes, Abby tells the story of a man whose hand was severed during a show, but the dancers around him didn't miss a beat.  Same thing.

Kendall is last on the second tier, and she admits her nerves got the best of her.  Abby advises her to exude confidence regardless so she's the one intimidating others, and she reminds Kendall not to watch the soloists before her.  Chloe is in third for flying under the radar, followed by Maddie for shining in the group number.  The undefeatable Asia is in the top spot.  The girls will be traveling to Regionals in Buffalo, and their group number will be hoedown themed.  MacKenzie will have a solo, and Abby makes sure to get in a few digs about how she's still in Asia's shadow.

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