Abby Lee Miller is back! It's like she never left, right? Last night was the premiere of the new season (second half of a prolonged season?) of Dance Moms, and it did not disappoint. Two hours, y'all! Too much, or not enough?
The moms and daughters arrive for a new season after a month long break, and Abby hasn't forgotten the sting of losing to Cathy's Candy Apples. Kelly is upset that she's still fighting with all of her friends. Before the pyramid can even begin, Abby reveals that she is livid about losing to Cathy. She also shares that Asia is in L.A. pursuing a great opportunity that Abby supports. The moms realize it's only a matter of time before Kristie 2.0 returns. Kendall is on the bottom of the pyramid. Perhaps she would have done better if she hadn't cried like a baby. Yep, I'd say Abby's back with a vengeance.
Jeff Collins welcomes us back to the second half of the Dance Moms reunion and promises more audience participation. Oh gracious! That's the last thing I wanted. Abby Lee Miller joins Jeff on stage and they embrace as if they hadn't filmed the first hour mere minutes ago. They discuss the great mom walk out, and Abby blames them for running off Jackie and Sophia–as you recall, they left as quickly as they came. Abby had hoped that Maddie and Sophia could have done a tap duet, and when questioned to which is a better dancer, Abby remains neutral. She says she believes that Maddie dances from her heart, but Sophia has had more opportunities. When asked about Asia and MacKenzie, Abby believes that Asia has more technical talent while MacKenzie has more knowledge of choreography.
After an audience member question, Abby reveals that the other moms are clearly jealous of Kristie 2.0's beauty. Who wouldn't be (according to Abby)? Backstage, Kathy's daughter Vivi-Anne shares that she never learned anything from Abby…at her mother's prompting. Kristie heads out on stage with Abby and Jeff, and she admits that she doesn't care what the other women think of her. Abby touts her professional teaching in a thirty minute session for making Asia a better dancer. You can tell from Kristie's face that she isn't in total agreement, but she never voices it. Abby brags to Jeff about Asia's sass and work ethic, and cue an Asia solo. The kid has gumption and talent, that's for sure! After the break, Kendall performs one of her energetic solos. Why did this reunion need to be two hours? Someone please remind me!
The executive producer of Dance Moms, Jeff Collins, is back to host the crazy tell-all that is the Dance Moms Season 3 reunion. Bless him. He thinks he can wrangle in Abby Lee Miller and the drama fueled moms who trust Abby to teach their daughters. He looks heavily medicated…as he should be for the task. It's part one of two-part reunion, y'all!
A hoarse Abby is first to join Jeff on stage. Does she ever have a voice? Jeff brings up some of her more memorable altercations this season…like when she was yelled at by a Candy Apple dance dad and got into it with Kathy. Abby is quick to remind Jeff that she was "verbally assaulted" by said dance dad and "physically assaulted" by Kathy. Semantics? Eh, it's a tough call. He wants to do word association, and Abby is quick to call Kelly "foolish" and Christi "evil." Melissa is "sly like a fox" while Kathy's purse (the one from the aforementioned assault) is "heavy, sharp, hurtful" among other things. In the green room, the moms play their own game.
When questioned about Melissa's new loyalty to the mothers this season, Abby cites disappointment in Melissa putting her need to be accepted above her daughters' success. Melissa joins Abby on stage to talk about her wedding. She admits that she wanted the ceremony filmed for the show, but she respected her husband's wishes to keep their day private. As the audience asks questions, the other moms are reacting backstage. Even the reunion is scripted! Geez Louise!
Oh, it's on! Last night's two hour Dance Moms finale pitted Apples against Abby Lee Miller in an epic battle of boys versus girls. There was drama, there were tears, and, of course, there was awesome dancing!
The ALDC is still in New York City for the competition. Maddie, Asia, Kendall, and Chloe all have solos, and Abby is focusing on those girls as opposed to the group number. Kelly wants to take Brooke to meet with a music producer while her daughter has some down time. Abby dismisses Brooke although she thinks it's quite a joke. Chloe is working on her number "My Obsession." Is she obsessed with winning? Dancing? What? Poor Chloe. The original Christi chastises Kristie 2.0 for not being more fired up about Asia being pulled from The View performance. Kristie claims that she and her daughter looked at The View number as any other audition. No big deal. That irks the other mothers to no end.
Kelly and Brooke are meeting with a music producer who is excited about the fact that Brooke's last single garnered 25,000+ downloads on iTunes. He decides to introduce her to a former Pussycat Doll. Emphasis on "former" or else she wouldn't be hanging out on the finale of Dance Moms. She gives Brooke some guidance on breathing as if you really have to pee. Is this how voice lessons work?
The competition was fierce on last night's Dance Moms, and, as usual, Abby Lee Miller did everything in her power to perpetuate feelings of inadequacy and insecurity in her troupe. She's such a sweetheart.
The ALDC heads to New York City for Abby's appearance on The View, but that doesn't spare the girls from the pyramid. The moms also learn that Cathy and her Candy Apples are in the Big Apple. Abby had Nia and Asia on the bottom for an out of synch duet, followed by Brooke. Paige is on the second rung for a not so memorable routine, with Kendall securing the third spot. Maddie is second on the pyramid for only scoring one point above the girl at the top spot: Chloe. I am so excited for her, and she is beaming!
For the NYC competition, Asia, Maddie, and Chloe will all be dancing solos, as will Kendall. Jill can't contain herself and Abby makes sure Jill knows she needs to keep kissing up with gifts to stay in her good graces. Everyone will be dancing in the group number. In addition to the competition, Abby wants to perfect The Last Text for The View, and she announces that Asia will be dancing in MacKenzie's place for the talk show. Melissa is livid and she sputters that her daughter has put her time in with the troupe. Abby reminds Melissa that MacKenzie has an injured foot. Jill is stirring the pot with Melissa to stick up to Abby, but Kristie 2.0 wants Asia to have a part in the dance.
On last night's Dance Moms,Abby Lee Miller highlighted the competition among her smallest dancers, pitting an over-the-top Asia against an injured (cough, cough) MacKenzie. Good times!
The girls and their moms pile into the studio for the pyramid reveal, and Abby is livid about the second place finish. Loooserrzzz! MacKenzie is in the bottom spot since she didn't dance due to her injury. Paige follows her for doing a disservice to our nation by not properly holding the flag during the group number. Perhaps there shouldn't have been a flag to mishandle in the first place, but what do I know? Kendall is next for her lack of focus, while Brooke rounds out the bottom rung. Chloe starts the middle level, followed by Nia. Holly couldn't be more proud. Asia is number two for winning her division, and Maddie finds herself back on top. She is, after all, America the Beautiful. What the…?
Abby questions where MacKenzie's air cast is. She's still injured, right? MacKenzie claims that she's able to dance, while Melissa urges her daughter to tell Abby what the doctor told her….if she feels 100%, she can participate. Abby wonders if MacKenzie returned to her doctor for this news, and Melissa explains that she didn't, but MacKenzie knows her own body well enough to know if she's okay to dance. Abby knows what's going on (someone doesn't like being replaced by Asia!), and she tells Melissa that the doctor originally said two weeks, so she's going to make MacKenzie sit out for two weeks. She doesn't want to trust an over-the-phone diagnosis.
Last night's Dance Moms was a lesson in democracy. If I had to cast my ballot for most ridiculous dance teacher, Abby Lee Miller would certainly get my vote!
It's pyramid time, and MacKenzie is on the bottom followed by Brooke, who, according to Abby, needs to figure out if she really wants to be a dancer. Chloe is also on the lowest tier, with Abby blaming her for her trio placing second. Kendall rounds out the bottom for being part of the second loser trio. The last place spot in the middle of the pyramid goes to Maddie for—you guessed it!–being part of the trio. Paige is third on the pyramid because Kelly has gotten good at not sparring with Abby. Nia is in second place for flying under the radar. Newbie Asia graces the top of the pyramid.
A crying MacKenzie complains of feeling dizzy when Asia's name is announced, and Abby makes her sit out of the group number. Asia is MacKenzie's size equal, so with MacKenzie out, Abby is unsure as to whether she'll actually dance in the group dance which has the conservatives facing off against the liberals in a politically themed number. Both Asia and Maddie get solos. Abby mixes things up by adding Chloe into the solo competition. Maddie's solo is called "I'm Trying" while Chloe's is "Am I Here To Stay?" Nice double meanings there!
You never know which Abby Lee Miller you're going to get when you tune in to Dance Moms. Will she be nice? Excited? Motivational? Nah, she just loves stirring the pot, causing rifts between the mothers, and planning for the downfall of Cathy and her Candy Apples. Perhaps she'll throw in some taxidermy along the way…
We begin, as always, with pyramid time. Thankfully, the girls are coming off a big win at last week's competition. Abby switches it up by starting at the top…and Maddie is right back where she's always been. On the next rung is an excited Paige. Kendall joins Paige for being third, which, according to Abby, is better than second. Chloe is in the next spot even though she's been consistent with her top notch dancing. Nia is first on the bottom for flying under the radar. She's good, but not great. MacKenzie follows with Brooke who didn't dance last week…per Abby's orders. Abby shocks her troupes by adding Asia to the bottom of the pyramid as the newest team member. Asia competed on Abby's other show, and Abby warns the mothers about running off another mom.
This week, the dancers are heading to Michigan, and Cathy and her Candy Apples will be in attendance. The group number is called "Return to Grace," and it focuses on reincarnation. MacKenzie and Asia will be sitting out the group number. Kendall, Maddie, and Chloe will be dancing a jazz trio. Asia is gifted the only solo. As Abby works on the group number, the moms (especially Jill) are curious to see what the new mom will bring to the table.