I am really having a hard time watching this mess. I can't even think of a witty introduction to last night's Dance Moms because I personally want to rip that bump-it out of Abby Lee Miller's hair every time she speaks. The girls have gone from fun-loving talents to terrified robots. Shame on her.
Abby, Melissa, and her daughters arrive in Los Angeles so that MacKenzie can get into the recording studio. What is Abby now? A pop star manufacturer? Abby wants to make sure that MacKenzie has the personality and energy to be a mini-Katy Perry. She interrupts the session to tell the poor girl that she is performing like Brooke, and that isn't a compliment. MacKenzie puts a little oomph into her singing, and Abby is finally seeing her star potential…at least one of us is. She and Abby head back to Pittsburgh while Maddie stays behind for a performance of her own.
With the start of the pyramid, Abby reminds the girls that she is looking for a dancer to be her Maddie when Maddie is off doing more important things…like a job in L.A. Nia is at the bottom because of her headpiece debacle, followed by Kendall. She's clearly the reason that her duet with Kalani didn't place first as Kalani and Maddie took the top prize in their duet. Of course, Kalani learns a bit about Abby and her fickle ways when she goes from the top of they pyramid to the bottom row. Chloe is third and praised for her duet Maddie, but she needs to work on her facial expressions. MacKenzie is in second for her brilliant work with the candy box in the group number. Christi wonders why MacKenzie is above Chloe after Chloe won both of her dances. Duh, Christi! The candy box! When Maddie is once again in the top spot, Jill scoff that it's predictable.
I don't even have words for Abby Lee Miller, and I have started to dread watching Dance Moms. My heart breaks for these little girls! New dance mom Kira and daughter Kalani have replaced Kelly, Brooke, and Paige, as Abby has kicked them out of the studio and banned them from the premises after Kelly broke her bump-it. Abby warns Kira that the moms can be vicious so she'd better have up her guard. Holly, Melissa, and Jill question how long Kira will be joining them, but they don't get any straight answers.
Not surprisingly, Brooke and Paige are at the bottom of the pyramid. Abby reminds everyone that they are no longer a part of the ALDC. Then why put them in the pyramid at all? Nia follows for messing up during the group number. Chloe rounds out the bottom, with Abby reminding her that usually when she does duets, she gets first place. Well, she would have gotten first had Abby not entered Maddie and Kalani at the last minute! Kendall is in the fourth spot because she was fine in the group dance and Jill kept her mouth shut. MacKenzie is in third, and Abby warns her to watch out because she's seen a lot of talent. Maddie is in the second spot, and her face says it all. Kalani is on top, which confuses the moms.
I can't with Abby Lee Miller. I just can't anymore. She's not really this horrible, is she? On last night's episode of Dance Moms, she was sabotaging her girls left and right. In Pittsburgh, Abby is still unhappy over a less than stellar showing at the last competition. She can't even enjoy that the group number was the highest scoring routine of the event. Jill reminds Abby that bringing Chloe 2.0 took time away from Abby's actual team. Abby spent far too much time bringing Chloe 2.0 up to speed. Abby agrees…bringing on one new dancer to replace one member of the ALDC wasn't the best idea. She plans to form an entirely new team to beat her current girls. Only Maddie may get to be a part of this elite squad known as the special victims unit.
During the pyramid, the original Chloe is on the bottom for her fourth place solo, followed by Kendall and then Nia for not winning their duet. Jill and Holly couldn't care less. They know their daughters did far better than anyone could have with such little instruction. MacKenzie rounds out the bottom for not having enough stage presence in the group dance. Brooke is last on the second rung for not pushing herself. Her sister Paige is second on the pyramid with Maddie on top. For this week's New York City competition, both of Kelly's daughters get solos, and Paige also gets a placed in a duet with Chloe. Abby hopes that Kelly will look at this as an opportunity for Paige to shine instead of complaining her daughter is under too much pressure to learn multiple dances. Abby then invites Kelly, Christi, and their daughters to accompany her to the open casting call in NYC. When questioned about the remaining team members, Abby reveals that there is another competition in town in which Nia, Kendall, MacKenzie and Maddie will be performing.
Abby Lee Miller never ceases to amaze me with her hatefulness as she pits Chloe against…Chloe? This show is totally fake, right? On last night's Dance Moms, the troupe convenes for the pyramid, but instead of praising the girls for their great victories in the last competition, she goes through a laundry list of Kelly and Christi's bad behavior. Next she introduces the team to "the new Chloe" who she found at the open call in Orlando. She makes the Chloes stand side-by-side, and poor vintage Chloe looks totally crestfallen. I wonder if Chloe 2.0's mom knows what she's gotten her daughter into with Abby!
MacKenzie is on the bottom for not winning her division followed by Brooke who is a slave to her smart phone. Paige places one step higher than her sister for technical issues. Kendall rounds out the bottom. Chloe is the last on the second rung for not being perfect in the trio. Third from the top is the new Chloe. Why not? That's totally fair. Maddie takes the second spot, and girlfriend does not like it when she's not on top. She should never play poker. I am so proud of Nia for making it to the top of the pyramid. Well deserved, for sure! Kendall and Nia will be performing a jazz routine. Old Chloe and new Chloe will dancing head to head in solos. Melissa starts to shake…why can't Maddie compete against the new Chloe?
The newbies are invading Dance Moms and Abby Lee Miller couldn't be more excited. Melissa is homeschooling both Maddie and MacKenzie so they can have more time to dance. Why are they wearing full make-up? Both Maddie and MacKenzie are happy. Melissa is happy. Most importantly, Abby is thrilled, and really, that's all that matters to Melissa, right? Jill is trying to decide if homeschooling would be right for Kendall so she can step up her game.
Abby calls her girls together and congratulates them for beating Kathy's Candy Apples, and then she quickly reminds them that she kept enough recruits from her Orlando open-call to replace the entire team…even Maddie. Melissa wasn't expecting that bombshell! Abby is excited to scope out the talent in Atlanta. Holly volunteers her services as a former school recruiter to help with the trip…and spy. Melissa then offers up her daughters and herself to sell Abby's merchandise at the auditions. I'm surprised she's able to speak with her face shoved so far up…well, you know.
Does Abby Lee Miller get meaner with each passing second on Dance Moms? Seriously Lifetime, repetitive hatefulness is getting a tad boring! I guess they throw in some Cathy and her Candy Apples for some change, much like last night, but it's so formulaic it's ridiculous!
It's time for the pyramid, and poor Payton hobbles in on crutches after her incident last week. She lands on the bottom, and Abby accuses her of hurting her ankle by fooling around in the wings, not from tripping over a chair like she claimed. When Leslie challenges Abby for calling her daughter a liar, Abby kicks her off the team. Leslie is happy to go…she doesn't want to subject her daughter to any more of this. Well, that proves Leslie isn't as crazy as I thought she was. As poor Payton shuffles out, Kendall takes her place on the bottom for being so late to the competition. A teary Kendall offers up an apology card to Abby which is quickly dismissed. Nia is third from the bottom and Abby "compliments" her for blending in and not being the subject of her ridicule. As Nia quietly thanks her, Holly wonders just what her daughter has to do to move further up the pyramid. Brooke rounds out the bottom rung for missing some choreography.
Last night Abby Lee Miller put her threats into action on Dance Moms. Everyone is replaceable, and she set out to prove it with the first of her open auditions. Leslie arrives at the ALDC as if she didn't have a meltdown at the previous competition about disrespect. Abby explains to Leslie that she takes things too personally and her behavior ends up embarrassing everyone. Jill interrupts their pow-wow to butter up Abby with a new pair of earrings. That's a new low! At the pyramid, Abby touts her open auditions in Orlando, and all the girls and moms look like deer in headlights…except for Maddie, of course. Abby invites Maddie and MacKenzieto travel down early to help her with the auditions. Leslie then opens her mouth to inquire as to why they are the ones who Abby chose to assist her. Abby turns to Payton to tell her that her mom often speaks out of turn, and she should be embarrassed by her behavior.
Payton is on the bottom, but she fully expected to be there thanks to her mother. Kendall follows, and Jill is beyond confused. Why did she bother with the earrings? As Kendall is on the verge of tears, Abby reminds her that she needs to cut out the crying. Nia then Paige round out the bottom tier. Kelly is complimented for not causing drama. MacKenzie is in fourth, with Brooke in the third spot. Abby explains to her that she can balance dancing and singing as long as she's performing to the best of her ability. Chloe is in second for following Kendall when she was supposed to dance before her. Once again, Maddie graces the top of the pyramid. Maddie and MacKenzie both get solos, but MacKenzie won't be dancing in the group routine. Brooke will be leading a trio with Paige and Chloe as background dancers. Abby asks the moms to tweet about her open auditions, but Holly refuses to aid in finding a replacement for her daughter. Curses! Abby is foiled again. Not shockingly, Melissa promises to tweet the news.
As always, we start with the pyramid and a hefty dose of insults about the group's third place finish. Abby will not be embarrassed in front of the Cathy and her purse slapping Candy Apples. Peyton is the on the bottom for her tearful hair tantrum. She should be a role model and not a baby. Brooke follows for missing four counts of the group dance, and Nia is third for the bottom for slipping out of her aerial and not placing in her solo division. McKenzie rounds out the bottom row for being too rambunctious in the dressing room. Paige is last on the second row for being good, not great. Ditto for Kendall. Chloe beams when she's second on the pyramid, and it's no surprise that Maddie is in the top spot with ridiculous praise. Kendall and Chloe get solos to prove which one is truly second to Maddie. Maddie gets to rest this week…Abby is tired of her star student carrying the entire troupe. The group number is called "Just Another Number" to remind the girls exactly what they are in the studio. The girls will be dancing as Maddie's clones. Abby hopes to find more Maddie clones at her upcoming open call.
The mothers are in the viewing area, and for once they are in agreement. The theme of the group number sends the wrong message to their daughters, and third place isn't going to cut it against Cathy's dancers. Holly hopes that placing so low the week before will humble the girls into working even harder. In Ohio, Cathy is excited to have choreographer Blake McGrath compete with Abby's lyrical numbers. Black Patsy's daughter is looked over for a solo which goes to Miami's Lucas. Kaya accuses Bridgette of getting her son the dance by partying with Blake 24/7.