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Dance Moms Recap

DanceMoms

It's a Dance Mom's extravaganza!  Lifetime knows a good thing when it pas de bourées in the ratings, and the network is going to milk this cash cow for all it's worth.  You know what that means?  It means that last night you were treated to two and half hours of Abby Lee Miller and the drama mamas.  It felt like Christmas all over again, didn't it?

In the hour leading up to the season three premiere, Jeff Collins returned to lead yet another reunion type show, only this time the ladies would be highlighting the upcoming drama instead of rehashing the past.  Let's see how this works.  Abby is wearing a lot of sequins and bling and spray tan.  Taking a few questions from the studio audience, she reveals that she has a special man in her life, and the mothers are the most selfish people on the planet.  Okey, dokey.  Poor Jeff looks one Ambien shy of hibernation, but luckily the stage setting mirrors (literally!) Abby's outfit, so all the twinkling should keep him awake at least until the premiere begins.  He is going to bring out the moms to have some one-on-one time with Abby and the audience.

Holly is the first to untangle her way through the sequined streamers, and she is wearing a tomato red number that seems to combine the finest vinyl with raw silk.  Abby immediately comments about it under her breath to Jeff.  Holly often gets on Abby's nerves, what with her professional demeanor and her need to analyze things.   Holly takes one audience member's question, and responds with a non-answer before making a swift exit.

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I am still baffled why Dance Moms needed a two-part reunion, but apparently Kaya had a lot to say, and there is never enough time for Candy Apple Cathy and Abby Lee Miller to bicker.  The reunion did have to reach back to past seasons to get enough material though. 

Poor Jeff Collins looks like he had a couple Red Bulls after the first hour.  We are treated to the moms dancing at Abby's dance recital from a past season.  Cathy choreographed the act, and she took off mid-number to perform a crazy-eyed jazz solo.  It's hilarious, and Abby shockingly is appalled that Cathy tried to purposely embarrass the ladies.

Cathy and Abby discuss the competition between their two studios.  Cathy thinks her studio is just as good as Abby's, but she does credit Abby's dancers for having more star power.  Jill and Cathy go at each other over Kendall.  Cathy isn't keen on Jill's studio hopping, and Jill doesn't like that Kendall didn't fit in with the other Candy Apple dancers.  Cathy is questioned about whether she has cheated in the past by trying to sneak older dancers into younger age categories.  Lots of choreographers average ages of those dancing in group numbers according to Cathy.  She proudly admits to copying Chloe's solo music for one of her dancers to psyche out poor Chloe before she performed.  After a viewer question, Cathy addresses bringing in outside choreographers.  Abby admits to have done the same, saying that she likes working with them.

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Last night was the first ever Dance Moms reunion, with the show's executive producer Jeff Collins mediating the crazy.  I really couldn't be more excited that Lifetime jumped on this bandwagon.  Let the insanity fly!  It's a two parter as well, which is always nice!

Abby Lee Miller faces off with the Kelly, Christi, Holly, and MelissaJeff is admittedly nervous, and I can't say I blame him after he shows an "everyone's replaceable" montage followed by some highlights of lighthearted moments interspersed with Abby threatening the moms.  Why do I love this show so much?  It is truly amazing, and we're only two minutes into the episode.

Jeff questions the ladies about Abby's teaching style.  Christi believes that Abby is harsh with some students while being overly kind to others.  Holly, an educator for over twenty years, believes that Abby's direct message is usually on target, but her delivery is off base.  Melissa, of course, sings Abby's praises.  Abby thinks that the mothers have too much time on their hands.  Dance moms of years past weren't as privileged and didn't have the luxury of leaving their jobs to hang out in the studio.  Plus, Abby believes that kids these days get a trophy for just being born…and I couldn't agree more.

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Last night was the season finale of Dance Moms with an explosive competition.  Abby Lee Miller was meaner than normal, Candy Apple Cathy's laugh grated on my last nerve, and Kelly contemplated pulling her girls from the Abby Lee Dance Company for good. 

The girls are headed to Beverly Hills 90210 for Nationals.  I think the moms are more excited than the kids.  Melissa clearly wants some Brandon Walsh action!  The bottom of the pyramid is Paige, thanks to her injury and forgetfulness, Nia for not being sharp enough, Chloe for coming in sixth overall, and Kendall for being good, but not good enough.  Jill is livid.  Brooke is on the second level.  Abby touts her amazing job but calls her lazy.  MacKenzie joins Brooke for forgetting part of her dance.  Maddie makes her way back to the top of the pyramid.

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Last night's Dance Moms saw the entire troupe getting to compete in solo numbers, as Abby has decided that this one dance will determine who gets the spotlight at Nationals.  No need to factor in all of their other performance, right?

After last week's competition in California, the troupe will be staying on the West Coast to compete again.  Abby Lee Miller applauds her dancers for being such polite young ladies to Nikaya and little Kaya, who are notably absent from the pyramid.  However, she tells the mothers they weren't nearly as kind or mature as their daughters, and they managed to run off yet another potential dancer.  Isn't that always the case?  Kendall is at the bottom of the pyramid, but she's glad to at least be back on the team.  Paige joins her, and while Abby thought she did great, she wasn't dancing full out because of her injury.  Brooke and Maddie round out the bottom…Brooke for being off-beat and Maddie for blending in with her teammates during the group routine.  Nia is on the second tier.  Abby thinks that Nia did a great job on her solo, but she needs to work on her technique.  Chloe joins Nia, with MacKenzie in the top spot.  She's beaming.

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Oh last night’s Dance Moms!  The moms are wearing their finest lido deck attire to hear the results of Abby Lee Miller‘s pyramid.  Seriously, I’ve never seen so many handkerchief gauze dresses in one place!  Abby praises her girls for a phenomenal recital.  This week, the girls are traveling to California.  Big times!

Paige is at the bottom of the pyramid due to her boot. Brooke joins her for a poor showing during the hip hop dance.  MacKenzie rounds out the bottom tier.  It seems the hip hop number was a bit over her head.  Nia is on the second rung.  While she garnered most improved last week, she doesn’t need to “rest on her laurels.”  Chloe joins Nia although Abby doesn’t have a bad thing to say about her.  Once again Maddie is on top for winning the recital’s scholarship.  Abby reminds Kendall that she’s not yet in the pyramid, but by golly is she working her way towards it.  Jill is livid.

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On last night’s Dance Moms, we were spared another dramatic competition…and treated to an even more dramatic recital!

Abby Lee Miller is actually proud of how the girls performed at Myrtle Beach.  The bottom of the pyramid is Paige (obviously, since she can’t dance due to her broken foot), and Maddie for refusing to dance a solo last week.  I did not see that one coming!  Chloe is also on the bottom for losing to a Candy Apple by a tenth of a point.  Brooke is on the second tier for a bonnet tying mishap, along with MacKenzie for beating two boys.  Nia gets the top spot yet again for being a good leader.  Jill is irate that Kendall doesn’t make the pyramid.  Abby informs her that Kendall is only dancing while Paige is injured, and then she’s out of the troupe.  Kendall is in tears, and Abby yells that Jill is always to eager to jump ship and she’s going to need to beg to get back in her good graces.

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Last night’s Dance Moms was the same old, same old.  The girls rise above while the moms act like mean teenagers.  A certain hoarse voiced dance instructor sinks to a new low.

It’s pyramid time yet again.  Abby Lee Miller is proud that the girls were the highest scorers, and she wants to keep this winning streak in tact.  Kendall is actually on the bottom of the pyramid…I guess she should be happy she’s even there.  Brooke is also on the bottom for not performing her number due to back spasms.  Abby wants to make sure that Brooke knows she’s not being penalized for being injured…she’s penalized for being scared.  Abby could see the pain in her face starting with the first rehearsal, and she’s upset that Brooke didn’t have the cajones to tell her she couldn’t dance before the actual competition.  Paige is also on the bottom for not coming to rehearsal…because she had a broken foot.  That makes sense.

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