There was a coup on last night'sDance Moms, and it was amazing. Abby Lee Miller plans to replace the entire ALDS company after the moms go AWOL in an attempt to bring back Kelly. The star this season seems to be Scripty McFauxdrams. Unfortunately for Abby, only one of her super group performs to her highness' expectations. The original girls don't care…they attract enough attention at their own event!
Christi, Holly, Melissa, and Jill are trying to figure out how to scheme Kelly's way back into the studio. Abby can't believe how strangely the mothers are acting when they all head into the restroom together. The moms have decided to have a stand-off with Abby. They refuse to take part in the pyramid, and they plan on sitting silently in the lounge area. Hard core! Abby is getting a freeze out whenever she attempts conversation. The girls are no where to be found as well. Abby calls Melissa and leaves her a threatening voicemail. Does Melissa really want to jeopardize her daughters' future for Kelly and her girls? Abby is now solely focusing on Ally's solo, and Shelly is curious as to the missing moms. Ally is overwhelmed by the pressure that Abby is putting on her in light of her troupe's absence.
The moms seem to be staging a sit-in in the studio parking lot. Abby is getting the cold shoulder, and no one will look at her nor will they respond. Abby is berating the mothers, and I have to say that these women are getting to be better actors as the seasons continue…because that is clearly what they are doing. Abby decides to take matters into her own hands and calls the police. She's got trespassers, y'all! Abby is laughing maniacally at her diabolical plan as the officers swarm the parking lot. Yes, the moms' behavior is childish, but I so love to see them working together for a common and unselfish goal.
I'll be honest, I don't know if I'm emotionally prepared for this premiere…or the season for that matter. Of course, I can't wait…especially when we get to see a glimpse into Abby Lee Miller's love life. There seemed to be a lot scripted, but it was still flipping amazing.
The third season of Dance Moms starts with the girls and moms reunite in the parking lot after a long break during the competition season. Noticeably absent are Kelly, Paige, and Brooke. Abby is beyond pissed at Kelly for breaking up the team, but she's equally as upset with the other girls for not consistently coming to practice during their break…news she just found out having spent her break in L.A. filming her spin-off competition show. She immediately tosses the pyramid head shots in the trash because none of them belong on the top, and the girls become teary when Abby announces that she's holding an audition to replace Brooke and Paige before the group heads to a competition in Denver.
The girls are rehearsing their group number, Angels and Demons…except now it's just Angel Singular and Demons because that's what happens when people are quitters. Is it just me or when Abby describes the characters in her choreography do you think she's envisioning herself as the victim or protagonist? "This dance is about an angel who is strong, but she has all of these horrible awful bleached blonde crazies with acrylic nails demons trying to tear her apart." Give me a break! In the viewing room, Jill is hoping that she can get the other moms onboard with calling for a reinstatement of the pyramid. She hates Abby trashed it without giving her daughter any opportunity to be at the top.
It's a Dance Mom's extravaganza! Lifetime knows a good thing when it pas de bourées in the ratings, and the network is going to milk this cash cow for all it's worth. You know what that means? It means that last night you were treated to two and half hours of Abby Lee Miller and the drama mamas. It felt like Christmas all over again, didn't it?
In the hour leading up to the season three premiere, Jeff Collins returned to lead yet another reunion type show, only this time the ladies would be highlighting the upcoming drama instead of rehashing the past. Let's see how this works. Abby is wearing a lot of sequins and bling and spray tan. Taking a few questions from the studio audience, she reveals that she has a special man in her life, and the mothers are the most selfish people on the planet. Okey, dokey. Poor Jeff looks one Ambien shy of hibernation, but luckily the stage setting mirrors (literally!) Abby's outfit, so all the twinkling should keep him awake at least until the premiere begins. He is going to bring out the moms to have some one-on-one time with Abby and the audience.
Holly is the first to untangle her way through the sequined streamers, and she is wearing a tomato red number that seems to combine the finest vinyl with raw silk. Abby immediately comments about it under her breath to Jeff. Holly often gets on Abby's nerves, what with her professional demeanor and her need to analyze things. Holly takes one audience member's question, and responds with a non-answer before making a swift exit.
Abby Lee Miller and her troupe of over the top crazy mothers will be dancing back onto Lifetime soon for the third season of Dance Moms. Personally, I'm more looking forward to seeing the super talented kids than the mama drama, but I know I can't have one without the other! It helps to think that they are all really just amping up the insanity for the cameras, because I truly believe that all of the moms are actually good friends, and Abby can't really behave like she does in real life. Right?
Melissa Gisoni is mom to Abby's pet Maddie and spitfire MacKenzie. She's often criticized by the other ladies for brown nosing Abby, as well as the amount of special treatment Maddie garners. Her recent engagement was a story line in the sophomore season, with Melissa's lawyer sending all of her co-star moms cease and desist letters when they mentioned her fiance on the show. Okay, so maybe they aren't that good of friends…
She's back and larger than life…and before you get on me, I'm talking about her over-the-top personality. Dance Moms'Abby Lee Miller is no stranger to controversy or ridiculous statements targeted at her young dancers, but isn't that why we watch?
The sharp-tongued studio owner and choreographer is back, with her show's newest season premiering in January of the new year. I've been watching this show since it started, and several things remain the same. The moms are still crazy, Abby's teaching style is still incredibly offensive, the young dancers are still as precious and talented as ever, and the more popularity the show gains, the more scripted I'm convinced it's becoming. But again, isn't that why we watch?
Happy Election Day, dear readers! Since everyone is in a voting state of mind we decided to have a little fun on this ever-so important day. Reality TV stars are always campaigning for favoritism (and sometimes buying their fans on twitter), so we got wondering, what stars could we – in our wildest dreams – see make it to the White House?
So cast your ballot for one of these fair candidates below. And remember this is all in fun so keep it funny, snarky, and apolitical!
3. Abby Lee Miller: She will frighten and intimidate foreign leaders into staying in line – or else!
4. Donald Trump: Our national embarrassment (that hair!) might as well take it all the way. Plus, he could hopefully pay for his own campaign.
5. Shaunie O'Neal: The HBIC of Basketball Wives knows how to dodge flying wine bottles, flinging insults, and a whole host of unruly people with a half-smile. I think she could whip congress into shape without so much as smudging her lipstick!
As if you thought Lifetime would ever cancel its cash cow…Abby Lee Miller will be back and likely meaner than ever for yet another season of Dance Moms. Love her or hate her, I adore the girls and can't believe the amount of talent they have. I am over the moon to see the show return.
It's a true hit for Lifetime, spawning two spin-offs: Dance Moms: Miami and the recently premiered Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition which allows young girls to be ridiculed and berated by Abby while only garnering a few short minutes of screen time. It's the American Dream I tell you, the American Dream!