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Dance Moms

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Oh, it's on!  Last night's two hour Dance Moms finale pitted Apples against Abby Lee Miller in an epic battle of boys versus girls.  There was drama, there were tears, and, of course, there was awesome dancing!

The ALDC is still in New York City for the competition.  Maddie, Asia, Kendall, and Chloe all have solos, and Abby is focusing on those girls as opposed to the group number.  Kelly wants to take Brooke to meet with a music producer while her daughter has some down time.  Abby dismisses Brooke although she thinks it's quite a joke.  Chloe is working on her number "My Obsession."  Is she obsessed with winning?  Dancing?  What?  Poor Chloe.  The original Christi chastises Kristie 2.0 for not being more fired up about Asia being pulled from The View performance.  Kristie claims that she and her daughter looked at The View number as any other audition.  No big deal.  That irks the other mothers to no end.

Kelly and Brooke are meeting with a music producer who is excited about the fact that Brooke's last single garnered 25,000+ downloads on iTunes.  He decides to introduce her to a former Pussycat Doll.  Emphasis on "former" or else she wouldn't be hanging out on the finale of Dance Moms.  She gives Brooke some guidance on breathing as if you really have to pee.  Is this how voice lessons work?

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The competition was fierce on last night's Dance Moms, and, as usual, Abby Lee Miller did everything in her power to perpetuate feelings of inadequacy and insecurity in her troupe.  She's such a sweetheart.

The ALDC heads to New York City for Abby's appearance on The View, but that doesn't spare the girls from the pyramid.  The moms also learn that Cathy and her Candy Apples are in the Big Apple.  Abby had Nia and Asia on the bottom for an out of synch duet, followed by BrookePaige is on the second rung for a not so memorable routine, with Kendall securing the third spot.  Maddie is second on the pyramid for only scoring one point above the girl at the top spot: Chloe.  I am so excited for her, and she is beaming!

For the NYC competition, Asia, Maddie, and Chloe will all be dancing solos, as will KendallJill can't contain herself and Abby makes sure Jill knows she needs to keep kissing up with gifts to stay in her good graces.  Everyone will be dancing in the group number.  In addition to the competition, Abby wants to perfect The Last Text for The View, and she announces that Asia will be dancing in MacKenzie's place for the talk show.  Melissa is livid and she sputters that her daughter has put her time in with the troupe.  Abby reminds Melissa that MacKenzie has an injured foot.  Jill is stirring the pot with Melissa to stick up to Abby, but Kristie 2.0 wants Asia to have a part in the dance.

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On last night's Dance Moms, Abby Lee Miller highlighted the competition among her smallest dancers, pitting an over-the-top Asia against an injured (cough, cough) MacKenzie.  Good times!

The girls and their moms pile into the studio for the pyramid reveal, and Abby is livid about the second place finish.  Loooserrzzz!  MacKenzie is in the bottom spot since she didn't dance due to her injury.  Paige follows her for doing a disservice to our nation by not properly holding the flag during the group number.  Perhaps there shouldn't have been a flag to mishandle in the first place, but what do I know?  Kendall  is next for her lack of focus, while Brooke rounds out the bottom rung.  Chloe starts the middle level, followed by NiaHolly couldn't be more proud.  Asia is number two for winning her division, and Maddie finds herself back on top.  She is, after all, America the Beautiful.  What the…?

Abby questions where MacKenzie's air cast is.  She's still injured, right?  MacKenzie claims that she's able to dance, while Melissa urges her daughter to tell Abby what the doctor told her….if she feels 100%, she can participate.  Abby wonders if MacKenzie returned to her doctor for this news, and Melissa explains that she didn't, but MacKenzie knows her own body well enough to know if she's okay to dance.  Abby knows what's going on (someone doesn't like being replaced by Asia!), and she tells Melissa that the doctor originally said two weeks, so she's going to make MacKenzie sit out for two weeks.  She doesn't want to trust an over-the-phone diagnosis.

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Last night's Dance Moms was a lesson in democracy.  If I had to cast my ballot for most ridiculous dance teacher, Abby Lee Miller would certainly get my vote!

It's pyramid time, and MacKenzie is on the bottom followed by Brooke, who, according to Abby, needs to figure out if she really wants to be a dancer.  Chloe is also on the lowest tier, with Abby blaming her for her trio placing second.  Kendall rounds out the bottom for being part of the second loser trio.  The last place spot in the middle of the pyramid goes to Maddie for—you guessed it!–being part of the trio.  Paige is third on the pyramid because Kelly has gotten good at not sparring with Abby.  Nia is in second place for flying under the radar.  Newbie Asia graces the top of the pyramid.

A crying MacKenzie complains of feeling dizzy when Asia's name is announced, and Abby makes her sit out of the group number.  Asia is MacKenzie's size equal, so with MacKenzie out, Abby is unsure as to whether she'll actually dance in the group dance which has the conservatives facing off against the liberals in a politically themed number.  Both Asia and Maddie get solos.  Abby mixes things up by adding Chloe into the solo competition.  Maddie's solo is called "I'm Trying" while Chloe's is "Am I Here To Stay?"  Nice double meanings there!

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You never know which Abby Lee Miller you're going to get when you tune in to Dance Moms.  Will she be nice?  Excited?  Motivational?  Nah, she just loves stirring the pot, causing rifts between the mothers, and planning for the downfall of Cathy and her Candy Apples.  Perhaps she'll throw in some taxidermy along the way…

We begin, as always, with pyramid time.  Thankfully, the girls are coming off a big win at last week's competition.  Abby switches it up by starting at the top…and Maddie is right back where she's always been.  On the next rung is an excited PaigeKendall joins Paige for being third, which, according to Abby, is better than second.  Chloe is in the next spot even though she's been consistent with her top notch dancing.  Nia is first on the bottom for flying under the radar.  She's good, but not great.  MacKenzie follows with Brooke who didn't dance last week…per Abby's orders.  Abby shocks her troupes by adding Asia to the bottom of the pyramid as the newest team member.  Asia competed on Abby's other show, and Abby warns the mothers about running off another mom.

This week, the dancers are heading to Michigan, and Cathy and her Candy Apples will be in attendance.  The group number is called "Return to Grace," and it focuses on reincarnation.  MacKenzie and Asia will be sitting out the group number.  Kendall, Maddie, and Chloe will be dancing a jazz trio.  Asia is gifted the only solo.  As Abby works on the group number, the moms (especially Jill) are curious to see what the new mom will bring to the table. 

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Hey, y'all!  Remember last week's Dance Moms when Abby Lee Miller was slightly supportive of her dancers?  Yeah, that was short lived!  Last night's episode had a bitter Abby back to wreck her talented troupe's self-esteem.  Good times! 

The girls and moms enter the studio, and Abby is actually happy and proud of the girls' performance at last week's competition.  This week, the dancers are headed to compete in Michigan.  During the pyramid, Brooke is on the bottom, and Abby is livid that she talked to Nia when she forgot her routine.  Abby gets even angrier when Kelly laughs at her daughter's mishap, and she dismisses Brooke from for the competition.  MacKenzie is also on the bottom for not resting her injured foot.  Nia's outstanding Rosa Parks performance is also on th bottom, and all Abby can say is that Rosa herself would have been proud.  So then why is she on the bottom?  Kendall rounds out the bottom.  Chloe and Paige are on second row for a winning duet.  Maddie is on top, and Abby believes she deserves a standing ovation.

Kendall receives a solo, and Abby wants her to work on stamina.  Chloe also gets a solo.  She has the two run in place silently.  Maddie will be dancing a duet with sister MacKenzie entitled "Run From Mother."  The group routine is called "Gold Digga" but that is all the information that Abby is willing to give.  Abby explains to the girls exactly what a gold digger is.  In the viewing area, Melissa is sporting a wedding band and reveals that she was married the previous Monday in the dress the moms picked out for her.  Kelly gushes that she was able to keep the secret given that Paige was in attendance at the ceremony.  Melissa shares camera phone shots of the nuptials. 

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Another Tuesday, another two hour Dance Moms with Abby Lee Miller.  In my opinion, last night's performances were out of this world, but I just can't take anything seriously when it comes to Kathy and her Candy Apples.  She's playing a role…she has to be, right?

As the super-sized episode begins, the moms can only imagine how Abby is going to react to seventh place over all in the group number given how livid she gets when they get second.  Not shockingly, MacKenzie is on the bottom for messing around on her "injured" foot, and Abby benches her for the upcoming competition.  Paige and Brooke also land on the bottom for being good but not great.  Abby doesn't think Brooke actually wants to dance.  Chloe is called next, and Christi is determined to bite her tongue to make sure her daughter is able to keep dancing.  Yet again, Maddie's eyes glass over with tears when she lands second to Kendall's new headshot.  The moms, especially Holly, think Jill gets sneakier every week, but she doesn't dwell too long because she's estatic when Nia graces the top of the pyramid.  Abby compares Nia to Beyonce and praises her facial expressions.  I am so happy for Nia.

This week, the group will be competing in Cincinnati, and Abby is worried that Kathy and her Candy Apples will also be in attendance.  The group routine it about Rosa Parks, and Holly hopes that Nia will get to play Rosa.  Abby isn't giving out the lead role just yet, and she takes the opportunity to call out Holly's outfit.  Kendall gets a solo, as does Maddie, but not before Abby can remind her that she keeps coming up short in her routines.  Abby grants Paige the duet with Chloe that she's been wanting.  She tells Paige she's been waiting for her to dance up to Chloe's level…and now, lucky for her, Chloe is dancing down to her level.  Way to ruin the moment. 

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DanceMoms

She's a screaming mess most of the time who likes to play drill sergeant with her pupils.  Sometimes it seems that she spends more time at war with her dancer's mothers than actually teaching her girls how to dance.  She tends to take great pleasure in trying to pit preteen girls against one another for the sake of healthy competition.  Whoever could I be talking about?  Y'all know!  It's Abby Lee Miller of Lifetime's Dance Moms!

Abby has been repeatedly criticized for her questionable teaching methods, but she does appear to get results.  Her dancers are incredibly talented.  While she has never danced professionally, Abby started the Abby Lee Dance Company when she was just fourteen years old.  That explains even more some of the history between her and Kelly!  

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