She's back and larger than life…and before you get on me, I'm talking about her over-the-top personality. Dance Moms'Abby Lee Miller is no stranger to controversy or ridiculous statements targeted at her young dancers, but isn't that why we watch?
The sharp-tongued studio owner and choreographer is back, with her show's newest season premiering in January of the new year. I've been watching this show since it started, and several things remain the same. The moms are still crazy, Abby's teaching style is still incredibly offensive, the young dancers are still as precious and talented as ever, and the more popularity the show gains, the more scripted I'm convinced it's becoming. But again, isn't that why we watch?
Happy Election Day, dear readers! Since everyone is in a voting state of mind we decided to have a little fun on this ever-so important day. Reality TV stars are always campaigning for favoritism (and sometimes buying their fans on twitter), so we got wondering, what stars could we – in our wildest dreams – see make it to the White House?
So cast your ballot for one of these fair candidates below. And remember this is all in fun so keep it funny, snarky, and apolitical!
3. Abby Lee Miller: She will frighten and intimidate foreign leaders into staying in line – or else!
4. Donald Trump: Our national embarrassment (that hair!) might as well take it all the way. Plus, he could hopefully pay for his own campaign.
5. Shaunie O'Neal: The HBIC of Basketball Wives knows how to dodge flying wine bottles, flinging insults, and a whole host of unruly people with a half-smile. I think she could whip congress into shape without so much as smudging her lipstick!
As if you thought Lifetime would ever cancel its cash cow…Abby Lee Miller will be back and likely meaner than ever for yet another season of Dance Moms. Love her or hate her, I adore the girls and can't believe the amount of talent they have. I am over the moon to see the show return.
It's a true hit for Lifetime, spawning two spin-offs: Dance Moms: Miami and the recently premiered Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition which allows young girls to be ridiculed and berated by Abby while only garnering a few short minutes of screen time. It's the American Dream I tell you, the American Dream!
I already love the family from Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, but if I hadn't already, I would after learning more about them. They may act like a backwoods sideshow a lot of the time, but the truth is that June and her daughters are much more grounded than many of us would be if we got a taste of reality fame.
After catching America's eye as a then five-year-old Alana downed go-go juice on Toddlers and Tiaras, the family has garnered both fame and criticism for their lack of manners and poor eating habits (sketti, anyone?), as well as their unconventional family outings. In their show's first episode, fifteen-year-old Jessica "Chubs" went bobbing for raw pig's feet, and later in the season the family went dumpster diving while talking about their penchant for eating road kill. It's easy to see how some people could turn up their noses at this family, if it weren't for one small fact.
This family totally loves one another. There is very little drama, and no question about how much mama June loves her four daughters. If you can understand Sugar Bear with his mouth full of dip, you would know he feels the exact same. While their show has been green lighted for a second season, the group still continues to live their regular lives in the tiny county of McIntyre, Georgia. June is doing everything she can to make sure that fame affecting her family is not an option.
I am still baffled why Dance Moms needed a two-part reunion, but apparently Kaya had a lot to say, and there is never enough time for Candy Apple Cathy and Abby Lee Miller to bicker. The reunion did have to reach back to past seasons to get enough material though.
Poor Jeff Collins looks like he had a couple Red Bulls after the first hour. We are treated to the moms dancing at Abby's dance recital from a past season. Cathy choreographed the act, and she took off mid-number to perform a crazy-eyed jazz solo. It's hilarious, and Abby shockingly is appalled that Cathy tried to purposely embarrass the ladies.
Cathy and Abby discuss the competition between their two studios. Cathy thinks her studio is just as good as Abby's, but she does credit Abby's dancers for having more star power. Jill and Cathy go at each other over Kendall. Cathy isn't keen on Jill's studio hopping, and Jill doesn't like that Kendall didn't fit in with the other Candy Apple dancers. Cathy is questioned about whether she has cheated in the past by trying to sneak older dancers into younger age categories. Lots of choreographers average ages of those dancing in group numbers according to Cathy. She proudly admits to copying Chloe's solo music for one of her dancers to psyche out poor Chloe before she performed. After a viewer question, Cathy addresses bringing in outside choreographers. Abby admits to have done the same, saying that she likes working with them.
Last night was the first ever Dance Moms reunion, with the show's executive producer Jeff Collins mediating the crazy. I really couldn't be more excited that Lifetime jumped on this bandwagon. Let the insanity fly! It's a two parter as well, which is always nice!
Abby Lee Miller faces off with the Kelly, Christi, Holly, and Melissa. Jeff is admittedly nervous, and I can't say I blame him after he shows an "everyone's replaceable" montage followed by some highlights of lighthearted moments interspersed with Abby threatening the moms. Why do I love this show so much? It is truly amazing, and we're only two minutes into the episode.
Jeff questions the ladies about Abby's teaching style. Christi believes that Abby is harsh with some students while being overly kind to others. Holly, an educator for over twenty years, believes that Abby's direct message is usually on target, but her delivery is off base. Melissa, of course, sings Abby's praises. Abby thinks that the mothers have too much time on their hands. Dance moms of years past weren't as privileged and didn't have the luxury of leaving their jobs to hang out in the studio. Plus, Abby believes that kids these days get a trophy for just being born…and I couldn't agree more.
Last night was the season finale of Dance Moms with an explosive competition. Abby Lee Miller was meaner than normal, Candy Apple Cathy's laugh grated on my last nerve, and Kelly contemplated pulling her girls from the Abby Lee Dance Company for good.
The girls are headed to Beverly Hills 90210 for Nationals. I think the moms are more excited than the kids. Melissa clearly wants some Brandon Walsh action! The bottom of the pyramid is Paige, thanks to her injury and forgetfulness, Nia for not being sharp enough, Chloe for coming in sixth overall, and Kendall for being good, but not good enough. Jill is livid. Brooke is on the second level. Abby touts her amazing job but calls her lazy. MacKenzie joins Brooke for forgetting part of her dance. Maddie makes her way back to the top of the pyramid.