It's a Dance Mom's extravaganza! Lifetime knows a good thing when it pas de bourées in the ratings, and the network is going to milk this cash cow for all it's worth. You know what that means? It means that last night you were treated to two and half hours of Abby Lee Miller and the drama mamas. It felt like Christmas all over again, didn't it?
In the hour leading up to the season three premiere, Jeff Collins returned to lead yet another reunion type show, only this time the ladies would be highlighting the upcoming drama instead of rehashing the past. Let's see how this works. Abby is wearing a lot of sequins and bling and spray tan. Taking a few questions from the studio audience, she reveals that she has a special man in her life, and the mothers are the most selfish people on the planet. Okey, dokey. Poor Jeff looks one Ambien shy of hibernation, but luckily the stage setting mirrors (literally!) Abby's outfit, so all the twinkling should keep him awake at least until the premiere begins. He is going to bring out the moms to have some one-on-one time with Abby and the audience.
Holly is the first to untangle her way through the sequined streamers, and she is wearing a tomato red number that seems to combine the finest vinyl with raw silk. Abby immediately comments about it under her breath to Jeff. Holly often gets on Abby's nerves, what with her professional demeanor and her need to analyze things. Holly takes one audience member's question, and responds with a non-answer before making a swift exit.
Abby Lee Miller and her troupe of over the top crazy mothers will be dancing back onto Lifetime soon for the third season of Dance Moms. Personally, I'm more looking forward to seeing the super talented kids than the mama drama, but I know I can't have one without the other! It helps to think that they are all really just amping up the insanity for the cameras, because I truly believe that all of the moms are actually good friends, and Abby can't really behave like she does in real life. Right?
Melissa Gisoni is mom to Abby's pet Maddie and spitfire MacKenzie. She's often criticized by the other ladies for brown nosing Abby, as well as the amount of special treatment Maddie garners. Her recent engagement was a story line in the sophomore season, with Melissa's lawyer sending all of her co-star moms cease and desist letters when they mentioned her fiance on the show. Okay, so maybe they aren't that good of friends…
She's back and larger than life…and before you get on me, I'm talking about her over-the-top personality. Dance Moms'Abby Lee Miller is no stranger to controversy or ridiculous statements targeted at her young dancers, but isn't that why we watch?
The sharp-tongued studio owner and choreographer is back, with her show's newest season premiering in January of the new year. I've been watching this show since it started, and several things remain the same. The moms are still crazy, Abby's teaching style is still incredibly offensive, the young dancers are still as precious and talented as ever, and the more popularity the show gains, the more scripted I'm convinced it's becoming. But again, isn't that why we watch?
Happy Election Day, dear readers! Since everyone is in a voting state of mind we decided to have a little fun on this ever-so important day. Reality TV stars are always campaigning for favoritism (and sometimes buying their fans on twitter), so we got wondering, what stars could we – in our wildest dreams – see make it to the White House?
So cast your ballot for one of these fair candidates below. And remember this is all in fun so keep it funny, snarky, and apolitical!
3. Abby Lee Miller: She will frighten and intimidate foreign leaders into staying in line – or else!
4. Donald Trump: Our national embarrassment (that hair!) might as well take it all the way. Plus, he could hopefully pay for his own campaign.
5. Shaunie O'Neal: The HBIC of Basketball Wives knows how to dodge flying wine bottles, flinging insults, and a whole host of unruly people with a half-smile. I think she could whip congress into shape without so much as smudging her lipstick!
As if you thought Lifetime would ever cancel its cash cow…Abby Lee Miller will be back and likely meaner than ever for yet another season of Dance Moms. Love her or hate her, I adore the girls and can't believe the amount of talent they have. I am over the moon to see the show return.
It's a true hit for Lifetime, spawning two spin-offs: Dance Moms: Miami and the recently premiered Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition which allows young girls to be ridiculed and berated by Abby while only garnering a few short minutes of screen time. It's the American Dream I tell you, the American Dream!
I already love the family from Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, but if I hadn't already, I would after learning more about them. They may act like a backwoods sideshow a lot of the time, but the truth is that June and her daughters are much more grounded than many of us would be if we got a taste of reality fame.
After catching America's eye as a then five-year-old Alana downed go-go juice on Toddlers and Tiaras, the family has garnered both fame and criticism for their lack of manners and poor eating habits (sketti, anyone?), as well as their unconventional family outings. In their show's first episode, fifteen-year-old Jessica "Chubs" went bobbing for raw pig's feet, and later in the season the family went dumpster diving while talking about their penchant for eating road kill. It's easy to see how some people could turn up their noses at this family, if it weren't for one small fact.
This family totally loves one another. There is very little drama, and no question about how much mama June loves her four daughters. If you can understand Sugar Bear with his mouth full of dip, you would know he feels the exact same. While their show has been green lighted for a second season, the group still continues to live their regular lives in the tiny county of McIntyre, Georgia. June is doing everything she can to make sure that fame affecting her family is not an option.
I am still baffled why Dance Moms needed a two-part reunion, but apparently Kaya had a lot to say, and there is never enough time for Candy Apple Cathy and Abby Lee Miller to bicker. The reunion did have to reach back to past seasons to get enough material though.
Poor Jeff Collins looks like he had a couple Red Bulls after the first hour. We are treated to the moms dancing at Abby's dance recital from a past season. Cathy choreographed the act, and she took off mid-number to perform a crazy-eyed jazz solo. It's hilarious, and Abby shockingly is appalled that Cathy tried to purposely embarrass the ladies.
Cathy and Abby discuss the competition between their two studios. Cathy thinks her studio is just as good as Abby's, but she does credit Abby's dancers for having more star power. Jill and Cathy go at each other over Kendall. Cathy isn't keen on Jill's studio hopping, and Jill doesn't like that Kendall didn't fit in with the other Candy Apple dancers. Cathy is questioned about whether she has cheated in the past by trying to sneak older dancers into younger age categories. Lots of choreographers average ages of those dancing in group numbers according to Cathy. She proudly admits to copying Chloe's solo music for one of her dancers to psyche out poor Chloe before she performed. After a viewer question, Cathy addresses bringing in outside choreographers. Abby admits to have done the same, saying that she likes working with them.