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Dance Moms

Christi Lukasiak and kelly hyland dance moms

Things are getting crazier and crazier on Dance Moms, but the craziest yet may just be that Abby Lee Miller and Co. are possibly staging fake dance competitions for the show! 

We’ve heard reports for years, that after the first season, the ALDC attended rigged competitions or ‘invitationals’ which many dance companies sign up for simply to showcase their talents on a hit TV show. Of course the qualification being that ALDC gets a lot of the limelight – and usually the big wins! That likely had a lot to do with legality of filming minors in a public space.

But last night’s episode featured really obvious displays of fakery. For instance, we noticed the audience – usually packed with dance families and contestants – was all but empty! Only the first couple of rows had people sitting in them. 

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dance moms maddie bow

Last night’s Dance Moms starts off on a high note…for once! After succeeding in the group number against the Candy Apples, the girls gather in the studio. Gino is a distant memory and will go down in ALDC history as the kid who made perfect Maddie lose a duet. Poor kid. Maddie is absent because she’s in Los Angeles recreating her Chandelier video on Ellen. Have you seen it? It’s almost creepier than the actual video because Sia spends the entire time refusing to show her face and singing in a corner. Of course, that makes me love her and the song even more, and Maddie is quite the talent. If only Abby Lee Miller would stop trying to pit her against her friends…

Shockingly, Maddie is on the bottom of the pyramid for her absence, followed by Chloe for her fall. At least she gives her a tiny bit of credit for continuing on like a professional…a smidgen of credit if you will. Nia takes the spot after Chloe because, you know, Nia isn’t a ballerina as we’re reminded again, and again, and again. Newbie Sarah is the bottom of the next rung, much to Christ-y’s chagrin. MacKenzie is in second, although Abby calls her out from detracting from the number for being too short. Kendall is in the top spot (although, did you notice, there wasn’t a top of the pyramid?) for taking the piece so seriously. 

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Real Housewives of New York reunion

The reality TV viewer numbers are in – and the second installment of the Real Housewives of New York reunion garnered 1.514 million viewers, while the Real Housewives of Orange County saw a season high with 1.974 million tuning in to see them travel to Bali. For reasons I will never understand, 2.367 million watched the most vapid person on the planet contemplate adoption on Keeping Up with the Kardashians. As if.

Dance Moms saw a tiny increase in viewership. 1.517 million watched Abby vs. Cathy, but that’s still a far cry from the pre-Kelly/Abby fight numbers.

Promise of a catty fight on Real Housewives of New Jersey attracted 1.753 million viewers, 903,000 Don’t Be Tardy fans watched the Biermann Bunch go to Florida, and a new headache-inducing episode of Teen Mom 2 garnered 1.774 million viewers. Game of Crowns lost nearly 200,000 viewers. For most shows, that would not be a big deal, but to go from 618,000 viewers last week to 419,000 viewers this week is just terrible.

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dance moms gino maddie kiss

What would Dance Moms be without the long running feud against the Candy Apples? On last night’s episode, Abby Lee Miller once again faced her nemesis while bragging about that one time she judged Dancing With The Stars. Is it just me, or do the original moms—even crazy Christi—seem tame in comparison to the new antics? 

As the girls enter the studio, Abby dubs it their walk of shame. She’s sent home her new team to rest and revel in their victory, but she’s allowed Sarah to join the original dancers because her mom stirs up so much drama…oh, and because she’s talented. Yeah, totally the second thing I just wrote. Sarah is eight years old and sporting what have to be eyelash extensions. Abby reminds Sarah that if her mouthy mom has anything negative to say, Sarah will be ousted for good. After Abby rakes the girls over the coals for being sore losers, Jill interrupts to say the team wasn’t sad to lose, but rather they felt let down by their teacher. 

Chloe is on the bottom of the pyramid for poor turns, followed by Maddie for crying in public. Kendall is third on the bottom, and Nia is criticized for not working hard enough to make up for her lack of raw talent. MacKenzie is second, and Sarah takes the top spot for performing with the winning team. Abby cackles as she reveals they will be competing in Ohio against the Candy Apples. The group number will be entitled “Broken Dolls” so art can imitate her dancers’ real life. Abby announces that the duet will be called “I’ve Just Gotta Be Kissed” and all of the girls are giggling and blushing. Maddie will be dancing with Cathy’s former student Gino.

RHOC Heather Dubrow

The reality TV viewer numbers are in. Real Housewives of Orange County remained steady, with 1.778 million watching Lizzie’s sad birthday party. As for the other housewives, a gossip filled episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey garnered 1.885 million viewers, and part one of the Real Housewives of New York reunion attracted 1.312 million.

Love & Hip Hop Atlanta saw a dip in viewership on Monday night, with 3.435 million watching Mimi struggle, but VH1′s ratings powerhouse still won the night. The random Thursday night episode did not fare well, however, with only 2.158 million tuning in. But guess what… it still won the night!

This week’s two episodes of Game of Crowns averaged only 582,000 viewers. Newsflash, Bravo: watching women play dress up and compete for a crown is not very interesting. A double dose of Don’t Be Tardy averaged 1.178 million viewers. Turns out, listening to Kim talk about her hooha and her addictions is more entertaining than Mrs. Pageants. Who knew?

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abby lee engaged

Say it isn’t so! Abby Lee Miller isn’t really engaged to Michael Padula!

Earlier this week, the insufferable Dance Moms star stopped by The Juice to promote her new parental advice – whole body shudder – book, Everything I Learned About Life, I Learned In Dance Class, and Abby finally told us the real story behind her “engagement” to Michael

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dance moms christ-y

Can it get any worse? Last night’s episode of Dance Moms certainly proved that it could. Abby Lee Miller was quite the whirlwind of negativity with her new competition team while the original moms–and dancers–dealt with the consequences. Not surprisingly, Christi has nicknames for the new mothers, including Christ-y (for the Jesus loving mom with a penchant for pot stirring and physical violence), Purple Haired Dud and Count Stalkula. I won’t remember those, but kudos to crazy Christi for her creativity. Abby opens with the pyramid (glad that some things never change), as Abby touts Maddie for leading the newbies to victory. Sadly for Abby, she hates the new moms as much as she can’t stand the veterans.

Christ-y, I mean Christy, isn’t happy to be one of Abby’s customers because Abby hasn’t yet heard the saying that the customer is always right. Abby needs the new team to serve as replacements for when her original stars have auditions in Los Angeles and New Work and Farmville. Maddie admits that she likes the new team, but she’d rather be with her friends. Before revealing the pyramid, Abby bad mouths Kira for pulling Kalani from the team so she could go be with her boyfriend. I guess that’s Lifetime speak for she’s no longer needed for a story line.

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dance-moms 1

You’d think after enduring one of the longest and most drama filled seasons of Dance Moms (and that’s saying a lot for Abby Lee Miller and her nemeses!), we’d have a longer break between installments, right? Oh, who am I kidding? I can’t wait for the madness to return on Tuesday!

This go-round, Abby seems to have grown tired of pitting poor Maddie against all of her teammates, and she’s now focused on putting her original team against her new group of competitors. You know what that means…veteran, snarky, territorial moms versus new, fame hungry moms who have seen first hand what they need to do to make themselves–and their children–a household name, no matter what the cost. It certainly makes for entertaining television, doesn’t it? (until Child Protective Services gets involved)

Check out the trailer of the upcoming premiere below!

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