Hollywood, baby! Last night on Dance Moms, the ALDC finally arrived in Los Angeles so that Abby Lee Miller can start on the next chapter in her star-making career. Of course, things rarely go as planned in reality television, and Abby is livid to get to her new rented dance studio to find another class rehearsing in her space. Jill and Holly find it funny that Abby is so intimidated to learn that other dancers are also present in the city where everyone comes to be entertainers. Abby is quickly on the phone with her attorney speaking about privileged information. Jessalyn and JoJo are also present, feeling that they were kind of invited. As Abby fumes in the parking lot, the mothers enter and introduce themselves to the interlopers. Even Melissa finds her behavior odd. Jill doesn’t get the temper tantrum…why can’t the girls just dance?
We’re treated to some of the other competitive west coast teams, including one led by a choreographer once hired by the dreaded Candy Apples’ Cathy. As the girls warm up, Abby calls the mothers to say she feels uncomfortable practicing in the studio with the other teams. Melissa is beside herself. Abby tries to temper her news that she won’t be attending rehearsals by sharing that she’s scored all of the girls an audition the following day. While that’s all well and good, the moms want to know who is going to prepare their girls for the competition!
While Kelly Hyland’s behavior always left a lot be desired when she appeared on Dance Moms, there is no denying how adorable daughters Brooke and Paige were on the Lifetime reality show. Of course, it wasn’t very entertaining watching the girls belittled by the dance teacher who had been in their lives since they were toddlers. Abby Lee Miller certainly had decades old beef with teenage rival Kelly, and she often took out her frustrations for Kelly on the two girls.
Knowing that, it’s no surprise that Kelly was kicked off the show (and arrested) for assaulting Abby (read: flicking her mile high bangs–Abby totally provoked her in my opinion) which was quickly followed with lawsuits from both Kelly and Paige. Thankfully, Paige isn’t making litigation her eighth grade hobby. She’s now a middle school YouTube sensation.
We love reality TV girl drama and a good cheating scandal, judging by this week’s viewer numbers for our favorite shows! This week Love & Hip Hop, Vanderpump Rules, and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills were at season high numbers! RHOBH hit 2 million viewers for the first time this season! Please don’t tell Brandi, you know she’ll take credit for that – and want a raise next season!
The Real Housewives of Atlanta has been all over the board this season, but it saw a small uptick in fans tuning in this past Sunday for the #TeamFun road trip and to watch Todd Tucker give himself a happy ending. Pass the eye bleach, please.
In sort of shocking news, 1.7 million people tuned in to watch Kate Gosselin and her crew on Kate Plus 8. And then 6.3 million tuned in to watch her get fired onCelebrity Apprentice.
Take a look below to see how your shows are doing.
I’m just going to say it…JoJo needs to go-go. Her mother is grating on my last Dance Moms nerves, and that’s saying a lot. You know it’s bad if Abby Lee Miller thinks you’re kind of a crappy person! The episode begins with Nia and Holly arriving to the studio. Nia timidly tells Abby that her grandfather is in failing health. She tells Abby that she is looking forward to going to Los Angeles, but she may have to travel back home to visit him if he gets worse. Nia bursts into tears, and it’s nice to see Abby comforting her student. That’s a glimpse of the Abby I hope exists off camera.
In the pyramid, Abby chastises the second place group number and welcomes back JoJo for a second week. Geez. Holly speaks up, asking if sending the girls on auditions and opening a new studio may be too much on her plate when it comes to choreographing the competitions. Nia is on the bottom of the pyramid for being the leader of the second place group dance, followed by Kendall for sloppy foot placement. Kalani rounds out the bottom for failing to bring the girls up to her level of dance. Instead she’s gotten quite comfortable on their level. Maddie is the bottom of the second tier for not participating in last week’s competition. She tells her teammates what she got to do in her absence…which is basically hang out with a bunch of celebrities. JoJo is in the second spot, but Abby chastises her for being to sassy. Kira pipes up with an impression of JoJo, speech impediment and all. Yikes! Jessalyn doesn’t think that her daughter needs to tone down in the least. MacKenzie is deserving of the top spot after her victory.
Readers, I want you all to think back to a simpler time. A time of Even Stevens and Holes. A time when Shia Le Beouf wasn’t starting fights at Broadway shows or wearing a paper bag over his face on the red carpet. Basically, I want you to remember a time when Shia wasn’t scaring the beewhowhatsit out of me in a Sia video. I had nightmares last night, yet I’m strangely drawn to watching said video over and over again. I even bought the song on iTunes. Damn you, VEVO!
When Dance Moms’ protege Maddie Ziegler first appeared in Sia’s “Chandelier” music video, I realized that her ability and raw talent were far more than I ever credited her for on the Lifetime reality hit. It’s weird and terrifying and amazing. However, Maddie is starring in the singer’s new (and equally controversial) video for her single “Elastic Heart”, and it’s every bit as freaky and frightening. The best (worst?) part? She’s dancing with Disney’s fallen method actor Shia. Wearing that creepy wig and nude leotard. In a cage. And Shia is also clad in nude boxer briefs. And he’s dirty. Very dirty. Sadly, Beans is nowhere to be found. Haven’t seen it? Youtube it immediately, but don’t say you weren’t warned/encouraged.
After last week, I wanted to be done with Dance Moms. The way Abby Lee Miller showed her arse talking to (and about) Nia and Kendall about drove me over the edge. However, part of it has to be for the show, right? Granted, I don’t think the girls are acting when we see tears or humiliation, but maybe, just maybe, Abby is all smiles and compliments and kittens and hugs when the cameras aren’t rolling. That’s how I am going to think of it from now on or else I may not make it through the season. Should Jeff Collins and Mona Scott Young get married and become the messiest and most diabolical reality show creating couple ever? I’d totally watch them on Couples Therapy!
After the fight with Abby at the recent competition, Jill and Holly are preparing for the fallout at the ALDC. Holly requests a meeting to clear the air, but the always mature Abby refuses to speak to her. In the pyramid, Abby tells the girls that the mothers questioning her is the same as them doubting her vocation in life. It’s hurtful to her…far more hurtful than the venom she spews at these young girls, of course! Abby congratulates the group on winning the group number and shares that Maddie won’t be competing this week as she’ll be performing at a benefit concert in Los Angeles. She then reveals the girls’ new head shots, and Kendall comes to the conclusion that even though it was incredibly rude of Abby to leave some of photo shoot, she clearly knows what she’s doing. That said, Kendall is on the bottom of the pyramid for crying in the dressing room when Abby screamed at her. Holly reminds Abby that she also cried last week when served with the court papers, but, no surprise, Abby’s tears were totally appropriate given the circumstance. Kalani is next for being beaten by Maddie and a no-named dancer in the solo division. Nia is third with a strong performance in the group number, followed by MacKenzie. Maddie is on top, and Abby praises that even though she didn’t win, losing every once in a while is good for her.