On last night’s Celebrity Apprentice, we lost two of the biggest reasons to watch the show. I’ll spare you the spoiler alert, and I’ll just start from the ending: Teresa Giudice finally floated her way out of the boardroom, and Lisa Lampanelli found herself in a situation she couldn’t cry her way out of. In fact, it was her constant crying that cost her a spot in the final two. Lisa has bragged on her Twitter that she uses crying to manipulate the judges, so I stopped buying the “passionate comic act” around the second time she did it.
Last night’s task was to create an ad campaign for CHI hair products for Elle magazine. Anyone else get the feeling they create tasks that are perfect for the just eliminated contestant? Dayana Mendoza could have possibly done really well on this task with her modeling background and connections. I guess we’ll never know. She could have created an ad campaign with a woman getting her hair done coming out of labor; the labor thing being one of her more outlandish ideas. Teresa and Lisa decide to project manage.
Last night, Donald Trumptold the remaining six victims on Celebrity Apprenticethat they all looked sick and tired. And, he’s right. I’m sick and tired, too. The marathon pace of the show is starting to visibly take its toll on the contestants. Or maybe the editing monkeys exaggerated everyone’s behavior. Whatever it was, after tonight’s elimination, there will only be one way to go, and that’s for everyone to turn on each other.
The challenge this week was to create a jingle for Good Sam, an emergency roadside assistance firm with a retro-esque mascot. What a shame that both our musically inclined “celebrities” were project managers last week. This week, Aubrey O’Day and Clay Aiken really could have shone, but instead Dayana Mendoza decided to PM, with Arsenio Hall managing Unanimous. Or, the reality, Aubrey took over the creative direction of the team while Arsenio’s true project management task was managing Aubrey.
Last night’s Celebrity Apprentice felt like a placeholder in between far more exciting episodes. The last two weeks were so exciting that I guess we needed a break before the real stuff starts. This needs to step up, because Sunday nights are too competitive. In any case, the Trumps certainly needed another product placement turn, since Ivanka’s fashion line has been all but forgotten at this point by most viewers.
This time, it was the Donald’s turn, and he got to shill for his new fragrance, “Success by Trump” Or as I like to call it, “Success after declaring bankruptcy and putting your family’s name on just about anything.” Both teams had to create an in-store display and slogan to promote the brand at Macy’s. On team Unanimous, looking so sad with just three members, Aubrey O’Day stepped up to the PM plate, and on team Forte, Clay Aiken took over. Penn Jillette talking-heads that he is going to bow out in order to become the celebrity apprentice. Remember that part!
The assignment is given out in Trump’s magnificently tacky home, the amount of gold just in the room the cast is standing in could probably be used to feed several third-world nations, but who cares when Donald needs everything to sparkle? Moving on to the war room, Clay already started to get annoyed at Penn and all his IDEAS. Dayana Mendoza immediately comes up with a super sexual idea of having nude women wear ties in the photos for the display. I’m not surprised that Dayana comes up with stuff like this; if you ever watch television from her home country of Venezuela, everything is all about innuendo and double entendre. The girl simply can not help it!
On last night’s Celebrity Apprentice, both teams had to run improvisational puppet shows. Product placement department was really asleep at the wheel this week, since there was no corporate sponsor constantly being complemented. Ivanka Trump could barely bring herself to say “the executives” in the boardroom.
Since all shows on television now air on Sunday night, I’ll remind you that Lou Ferrigno was fired last week for only giving half of his usual “110%.” Lisa and Dayana shuffle back into the boardroom, Clay Aiken makes a snarky comment, which Lisa immediately overreacted to. Lisa, the woman who makes her living making fun of others, can dish it but certainly can not take it.
On this week’s task, Lisa Lampanelli elects herself as project manager in an attempt to finally win something, and Clay is shuffled over to Forte. Nice work, producers! Paul Teutul decides to manage this task, which is kinda weird. Aubrey O’Day would have been a shoe-in. Her hair alone is practically its own puppet!
Someone must have had a talk with Aubrey about her dominating ways because she decides to take a step back and let Paul run the show. And, since this is a different universe,Arsenio Hall & Aubrey are cool with each other! See what happens after you call your teammate a “See you next Tuesday!” You become friends afterwards. Paul had an injury the day before they start preparing for the act, so he is basically useless. Both teams get a lot of training on this task, in both, actual improv and puppeteering. Teresa Giudice loves that the improv guys encourage not knowing what you’re talking about. Do I really have to write a joke here? You know what to do, commenters! Take this and run with it. You’ve been given a gift.
Last night’s Celebrity Apprentice was so long and intense, I feel like I need therapy just to process all the emotions I now feel. At least the three hours finally made the show interesting.
In case you already forgot, Patricia Velasquez was the one to go last week for her failure with the branding at the Crystal Light event. Dayana Mendoza is sad to have her one ally leave. I loved that moment last week when Patricia told Dayana it was going to be okay in Spanish while they were both waiting to be called in with Donald.
At this point, Dayana is like this show’s Highlander. She refuses to die, no matter how badly Lisa Lampanelli wants her to go. Throughout this whole episode, Lisa is like a dog with a bone. She refuses to see any of Dayana’s positive qualities. It makes it so hard to root for Lisa when she just looks like a jealous hater.
Last night’s show featured two tasks: the first featured the teams making and selling celebrity guidebooks to New York, using a Toshiba tablet, or as I like to call it, not an iPad. The second task was for each team to create a 15 minute presentation and boxes on Walgreen’s new walking initiative.
We got new project managers for the first task: Teresa Giudice was project manager for the guidebook task and Dee Snider was task manager for the men’s team. Both of them were pretty hands-off. If there were any sources of drama for this episode, it once again came from Lisa and Aubrey. If Lisa is hard to root for due to her almost senseless rage towards Dayana, Aubrey became downright evil, especially during the second task when she butted heads against her new teammate Arsenio Hall.
But, back to the first task. Debbie Gibson was the sacrificed celebrity during the first task. Teresa’s one conflict as project manager was with Debbie, who rightly asked for direction on the women’s kiosk. At the boardroom, Teresa and Debbie got into it, with Teresa defending herself by saying that at this point, the team should know what to do with minimal direction. She has a point, but it did really seem like Teresa forgot they needed to design a kiosk to sell the guidebooks.
On the men’s team, it was sad to see Arsenio try to fund raise, but get ignored by his former celebrity friends. His friend and NBC pet Jay Leno promises to FedEx Arsenio a check. Both teams actually make it rain pretty hard with their fund-raising, Teresa has Juicy Joe come by the kiosk with donations from their friends. Does anyone think Melissa Gorga donated to Teresa’s efforts?
Anyway, in the boardroom, Debbie is fired and she’s visibly pissed off. The world’s most famous elevator attendant even smirks as Debbie storms off after she’s fired. The fact that Debbie was fired and Aubrey (who fundraised the least amount of money) was kept, feels really producer-driven to me. If the task was about who made the most money, then clearly Aubrey should have left, based purely on numbers. But, she and Dayana live to see another day.
Last night’s Celebrity Apprentice was sponsored by Crystal Light, a drink I’m pretty sure is only purchased by dieting women. In fact, the first true reaction anyone had to the announcement of this week’s sponsor, was by Aubrey O’Day ,who gushed that the low-calorie drink helped her lose weight.
Apparently, Crystal Light is attempting to cash in on Bethenny Frankel’s lady drinker gravy train and has created a line of drinks inspired by cocktails. This week’s assignment for our celebrities was to each throw a fabulous launch party for two of the drinks: Peach Bellini and Pomtini. Immediately, I thought that Teresa Giudice was a natural choice for project manager. Not only has she thrown several huge parties on Real Housewives of New Jersey, but she actually has a line of (alcoholic) Bellini’s on the market.
Instead, Aubrey took the job for Forte. No one mentioned it on the show, but I really feel disappointed that Teresa didn’t step up on this task. Is her strategy simply just to coast? Clay Aiken talking heads that Aubrey is a natural for this task, because “Aubrey popped right out of her momma’s chotch and started grabbing on to the stripper pole.” Clay Aiken: hilarious! Who knew?
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