Book one ofFarrah Abraham's trilogy,Celebrity Sex Tape, will be released July 1 – and I could not be more excited about it. No I haven't lost my mind. I do not plan to read Farrah's smut book, but this also means Farrah needs to give interviews to promote it! I can't stand Farrah, the person, but I love Farrah, the interviewee. Bring on the interviews!
Farrah sat down with Huff Post Live's Ricky Camilleri earlier today to talk about Celebrity Sex Tape and say awesome things like her trilogy is the next stop in her "portfolio of literacy" and reality TV taught her to be "more better at communication." Let's have a moment of silence for Ricky. He deserves it.
Farrah introduced the main character of her trilogy, Fallon Opal, and Ricky asked, "Not Farrah?" She insisted, "Not me. I think we all use our inspiration and experiences of life to build our stories but this is very different from anything that I've ever had in my life. But I noticed through some drama that I went through this past year of my own sex tape that this is a popular issue."
But, we still got to see NeNe and Tony's Argentine Tango, as well as their team dance. Team Vida consisted of Charlie & Sharna, James & Peta, and NeNe & Tony. Tony asked NeNe how she felt about making it to week seven, and she said, "I feel like everybody left is Olympians and people with dance experience, and we're just like the little odd balls." We?!? NeNe is odd. The only "odd" thing about Tony is that he likes NeNe.
NeNe's Argentine Tango was horrible. Her costume was worse. It looked like she wore a plastic brown trash bag – and it made her hips and butt look huge. Team Vida hid NeNe in the audience during the group dance. Enough said.
Our favorite reality TV stars cannot get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to Twitter to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here's a roundup of some of our favorite photos from the Twitterverse this week! Enjoy!
Liz and Taylor are shocked. "That's part of my repertoire," announces Taylor. Lovely. "I'm an expert," says Liz who decimated Jon in an earlier episode for "beating off". Hypocrite much?
The next day Liz and Jon have a little gift for Kelsey – it's her very first vibrator! Surprisingly it did not come fromFarrah Abraham's line of sex toys. She wasn't passing out goody bags?! Oh but wait – she was forced to make those vaj-molds and videotape herself doing it! Cause we all want a keek of Farrah's crotchal region covered in plaster! I don't know what's a grosser vibrator association: Jon or Farrah.
Moving on, Taylor is struggling with parenting. "I don't parent," she slurs at the camera before course correcting to explain she doesn't set boundaries. #FreudianSlip Kennedy comes to the house the next day for some quality time with this woman who people say is her mom. Taylor greets Kennedy with villainous laugh that lasts about 5 minutes. In return, Kennedy shoots Taylor dirty looks that could melt a lip-plant.
Season four has been the highest-rated and most popular season of Couples Therapy thus far thanks to reality TV fans flocking to VH1 to see train wrecks such as RHOBH's Taylor Armstrong, Teen Mom's Farrah Abraham, and Jon & Kate Plus 8's Jon Gosselin. They did not disappoint — but Dr. Jenn Berman definitely did every time she failed to call out Taylor's lies, supported Farrah's delusions, and enabled Jon's anger issues
Speaking of Jon, he scored oodles of air time last week when he claimed Kate Gosselin refused to let him talk to his kids on the phone – and then he called her a "piece of f–king shit" and a "shitty human being" on camera. I never doubted Jon's story because, um, Kate is a nasty, vindictive person, However, according to an inside source, Jon lied about the phone call.
Last night on Couples Therapy, Dr. Jenn Berman and Dr. Mike Dow asked the four couples and one lone bird to "let out their past demons" by destroying a house. And the Couples Therapy Award for Disturbing Anger Issues goes to Jon Gosselin. This guy need serious help with anger management. Like, real therapy, not made for reality TV therapy.
Whitney says she tries to be sensitive to Sada's needs, but she wishes Sada would speak up if she's missing the mark. Sada says she knows Whitney's not a mind reader. However, she follows that with, but communication is reading your partner's cues and emotions. Oh Sada. Is there any hope for her? On a positive note, she does understand that she projects her issues onto Whitney.
Out of the blue, Farrah Abraham crawls into bed withTaylor Armstrong and John Bluher for a "bed shot" picture. You can take the girl out of the porn, but you can't take the porn out of the girl. Taylor plays along despite the fact that she hatesFarrah's guts. Because, cameras!
Picking up where we left off, Sada and Taylor talking to Jon Gosselin and Liz Jennetta about how bitchy Liz is to Jon. Surprisingly Liz takes it well and listens to what Sada says and Taylor slurs.
The next day, Dr. Jenn talks to Jon alone because she feels his relationship is doomed if he doesn't start to demand respect from Liz. Jon truly believe Liz loves him. Then, he says he dated a lot of women and felt the best connection with Liz, and I stare at my TV in disbelief. Who are these women who want to date Jon Gosselin?!? Seriously! Dr. Jenn wishes Jon luck, adding, "You need to come from a place of strength, not a place of woundedness."
Last night's Couples Therapy went like – Ghostface Killah went to the booty market, Kelsey Nykole stayed at home. Taylor Armstrong had fillers and vodka, Farrah Abraham had fillers and rum. And Jon Gosselin went boo hoo hoo all the way home. Only, the end is only wishful thinking on my part. Jon boohooed but never went home. Because, paycheck. The dude needs money to pay child support buy hair gel and smokes.
From last week, Kelsey just stormed out of a therapy session she was sharing with Ghost and Latrice. So Taylor sniffs out the drama and follows Kelsey because the delusional fruitcake seems to think she's one of the therapists. Dr. Jenn Berman, who isn't much better than Taylor, appears and reminds Kelsey that she doesn't need crumbs of Ghost's love. Kelsey says she's done with him but wants to apologize to Latrice.
Kelsey doesn't have any reason to apologize, in my opinion, but she has more class and empathy in one of her hair folds than Ghost has in his entire body. She tells Latrice that she wouldn't have let Ghost into her world had she known she was his side piece, adding, "Not sure what Ghost has told you, but we was developing something." A devastated Latrice wonders if she will be able to trust Ghost after this. Huh? Really, girl?