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Duck Dynasty

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Got an extra 80 grand burning a hole in your pocket and not sure what to buy with it? Do you have a special someone in your life who enjoys camo and water fowl and you plan on spending a literal fortune on them this holiday season?  If so, the gang from Duck Dynasty has the perfect gift for you!

Back before they were international celebrities, best-selling authors, and chart-topping recording artists (more on that in a bit), Phil Robertson built an empire making duck calls. Now A&E is auctioning off the one millionth call produced in 2013 with the proceeds going to a very worthy cause.

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Well this news makes the wino in my incredibly happy, happy, happy! You know, usually I get a little tired of reality stars just haphazardly slapping their name on any product that will make money, but I think I'd buy denture cream or incontinence pads or even (gag!) mayonnaise if the Robertsons were selling it! That isn't to say that the Duck Dynasty crew will endorse any old thing. They clearly have a clear vision of their brand. However, their newest venture is going to become a staple at my house without a doubt!

Willie Robertson has just announced that Duck Commander Wines will hit stores this month. I. Cannot. Wait. See, I knew it wasn't just a scripted plot line when Willie decided he wanted to get more into wine and art a few seasons ago. I'm sure the varietals will be perfect for the dining room to the deer stand! Feel free to call me, Willie, if you'd like to use that tagline! 

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How could you not love the Robertson family from A&E's Duck Dynasty? The answer is…you can't not love them. It's a sheer impossibility to find anything wrong with this crew.

As you all know, the Robertsons love family, faith, sweet tea, deer hunting, and apparently, surprises! The folks attending the grand opening of the new Field & Stream in Crescent Springs, KY can certainly attest to that fact! Uncle Si and nephew Alan Robertson surprised the crowd who was participating in a Duck Dynasty Look-A-Like contest and took photos with the winners. 

Five winners were chosen in all including two Uncle Si winners (a child and an adult), and Jase, Willie and Phil impersonators. Seriously, how could you not adore this family?

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I think we can pretty much credit MTV with the birth of reality television thanks to the explosion of The Real World, but it didn't stop there. Think about all of the families we watch on a weekly basis, from the Robertsons to the Kardashians to everyone in between. Where did the madness begin? Some may say with a ride on the crazy train courtesy of The Osbournes.  Don't act like you didn't watch!

We saw Jack and Kelly Osbourne grow up on camera (although eldest daughter Amy didn't participate) with the always hilarious chirping busybody of a "mum" Sharon and bumbling, mumbling former death metal star Ozzy.  And, of course, don't forget their tiny pooches! Now Kelly is a fashion consultant for E! and Jack is family man–how precious is his wife? (pictured with him and his parents above)–currently competing on Dancing with the Stars…but do they ever think about going back to the days of reality television's first family?

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What is this world coming to? Seriously! I am quickly losing faith in humankind.  First, Kim Kardashian gets engaged for a third time, and I have yet to rent space on my ring finger to any cubic zirconia, much less a fifteen carat diamond.  Then, my love Pauly D goes and fathers a child behind my back (come to think of it, maybe my attraction to Pauly D has something to do with the caliber of guys I find who aren't proposing—and that's likely a good thing!), and now someone has just gone too far.  TOO FAR!

You want to smash the pumpkin on my front porch?  Go for it, you punk vandal. Your sticky fingers want to take more than your fair share of the candy I leave out on Halloween? Eat away, chubs! But do not, I repeat, DO NOT, defile all that is good and decent in the world…namely Duck Dynasty's Uncle Si Robertson!

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In the immortal words of Stephanie Tanner, "How rude!" Is this what the world is coming to? Families decorate for fall only to have their hard work stolen during the dark of night? For shame. This news makes me anything but happy, happy, happy!

Duck Dynasty fans and decent people in general from Ball Ground, Georgia are appalled after the town's favorite scarecrow went missing last Wednesday. The scarecrow, sporting camouflage, was a dead ringer for Uncle Si.

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Friday news flash, y'all–I love the Robertson family from Duck Dynasty. Just when I think Korie and Willie Robertson couldn't be kinder or more down-to-earth, they go and and share their story about how expanding their family through adoption changed their lives.

Apparently, when the Robertson clan isn't writing bestsellers or opening stores (or starring in their hit show, for that matter!), they are out doing good and spreading awareness about what is important to them–faith and family.  Take note, Kardashians!

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Well, I think we all know my first stop if I ever make it to Monroe, Louisiana!  Well, wait. My FIRST stop would be a stalkeresque drive-by of Phil and Miss Kay's house. This will be my second stop…or my third.  Second will probably be the Duck Commander warehouse.  But, this place will certainly be on my list.  Where you ask? Why, Duck and Dressing, of course! Is there anything these Duck Dynasty folks can't do?

Willie Robertson's wife Korie recently shared the news on Twitter that she and daughter Rebecca will be opening Monroe's newest and most quackably chic boutique!

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