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Kendra Wilkinson, author of the new memoir Being Kendra: Cribs, Cocktails, & Getting My Sexy Back and star of Kendra is speaking out about her devastating struggle with postpartum depression so severe it took over her life, nearly destroying her marriage.

In a new exclusive interview with In Touch Weekly, Kendra reveals her harrowing two-year secret breakdown. “I felt devastated, helpless – like I was in a black hole,” Kendra explains of her violent moodswings and a depression so intense it led her to lock herself in the closet to “scream and cry.” Her feelings of isolation and hopelessness reached such dark levels “I even thought of harming myself. I just threatened [suicide] a lot.”.

She admits that during her darkest days she had deep doubts about her marriage, believing: “Hank deserved better than me,” and disclosing, “Hank and I slept in separate bedrooms.”

Kendra believes her depression, which she has battled off and on since adolescence, was triggered following a move to Indiana for husband, Hank Baskett’s NFL career, while subsequently adjusting to a new baby and the filming of her reality show. Feeling compelled to act normal, she “put on a brave face for the cameras,” but was breaking inside behind closed doors, causing her to take things out on Hank, her extended family, and even crew members.

“There were times when I knew I was about to snap. I’d be like, ‘Hank, go! Go away!’ I didn’t feel right. Hank would take the baby, and leave the room,” Kendra recounts. Though she started most of their fights, causing them to argue so much “she feared their marriage was over,” Kendra couldn’t control her anger “at both Hank and herself.”

“I was just mean,” Kendra states, depicting the rages she would fly into; blaming her husband for “their unstable home life” and threatening to leave him, taking Baby Hank, if he didn’t find a steady job. Kendra remembers that her “nagging got so bad” Hank experienced a panic attack and blacked out!

At the root of her fury, was a deep emotional anguish causing her to isolate herself from her husband: “There was no way I could talk about what I was feeling because I didn’t know what it was. So we just had to stay apart.” Despite the turmoil in her relationship, it was her self-loathing that was the most troubling. “I was crying and screaming all night,” she recounts. “I wanted to hide from everyone. I felt like no one understood.” Regardless of her attempts to convey her “self-destructive thoughts”, Hank wasn’t getting it: “He’s not a therapist.”

Contributing to her negative self-thoughts, was the celeb culture where famous mommies brag about losing the baby weight mere weeks after giving birth. Kendra felt hopeless about the clinging pounds nine-months following the birth of her son, despite her attempts to diet and exercise, and she developed poor body image. Her lack of confidence led to further isolation and depression as she avoided her “hotter” friends.  Kendra confides that she felt so ugly “she would brush her teeth in pitch-dark, ‘so I wouldn’t have to look at myself in the mirror.’”

Realizing she needed help, Kendra ultimately sought therapy; not wanting to repeat the damaging behavior of her teenage years, which included cutting, hospitalization for depression, and two self-harming attempts. She credits her two-year-old son as her reason to enter therapy, “Baby Hank really made me stop, step back and realize, ‘If I don’t stop acting like this, he’s going to pick up on it.’ “

Now months following those dark days, she looks back on those times, describing: “I can say that it was a real breakdown that I had.”  She is thankful she chose a healthy solution to her depression, revealing: “I can’t be selfish anymore,” for the sake of her son and her husband, who she recognizes need her in their lives.

Today, Kendra happily acknowledges she is still working on her recovery “I’ve learned that I need therapy because I’m not 100 percent better,” but she insists: “I’m going to live my life happy.”

Being Kendra hits stores on September 20th.  The fourth season of Kendra premiers September 25th on E! at 11/10c.

Thoughts on Kendra’s story and her battle with postpartum depression? Are you impressed that she is open with fans about this harrowing time in her life? Will you be reading her book?

It’s battle of the Bridezillas in Kardashian-Kingdom, but only one them is the actual bride! And one of those ‘zillas is, you guessed it “momzilla,” Kris Jenner. Kim Kardashian recently spoke to Extra about her mom’s special day, revealing she had to put her stilleto down on the 500+ people guest list! Wait, that many people actually like Kim or Kris J?

Apparently so, Kim reveals: “I’ll look at the list and I’ll be like, ‘Why is this person on the list? Why is this person? I don’t know this person. This is your friend.’ This is my wedding. I gotta approve the list!”

Kim’s rumored 10 MILLION DOLLAR wedding (do they realize there is famine in Somalia?) will take place on August 20th in Montecito, CA and will include a 10-tier cake – one for each million spent, I suppose – that is modeled after Prince William’s and Kate Middleton’s wedding cake. Oh, my…

With all the big budget details to contend with, not to mention the money reported to be made off her nuptials, Kim has a lot to stress out about, which is supposedly turning her into her mother making her quite the bridezilla. Kim’s future in-laws are feeling annoyed that the special day, which allegedly will include their son, is alllll about Kardashian! A “source” (re: Kim’s future MIL), discloses: “This is a Kardashian event, and the Humphries family is nothing more than invited guests. They’re playing along because they don’t want to make waves, but they’re not happy with the way they’re being treated.”

Making things even worse the Kardashians are supposedly pressuring Kris Humphries to choose one of their people, like Kim’s brother Rob Kardashian or Lamar Odum, to act as groomsman since that’s what the network and the fans of Keeping Up With The Kardashians want to see!

Kris’ friends are being relegated to sub-par roles as ushers, making them “annoyed and pissed” that they are essentially being kut out of their friend’s special day, furthermore none of them are too impressed with his future wife: “None of them like Kim, and they don’t think she’s the right person for Kris.” Yikes! Well, I guess they won’t be interested in guest starring in the a Kim & Kris reality show Kris’ pimpmomager-in-law probably has in the works!

Meanwhile, with less than a week until her made for TV wedding, Kimmie stepped out last night at the 2011 ‘Do Something’ Awards showing off a slimmer figure! Photos of Kimmie at the awards show below –

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON TO SEE THE NEW PHOTOS OF KIM!

The newest Kardashian wedding is upon us America and it is all the tabloids can talk about!

Pushing those has-beens Khloé and Lamar out of the way is the K2 wedding. Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries engagement which is already plagued by cheating rumors, gossip, and prenuptial agreements will not be deterred, as Kim is happy and excited to be planning her money making venture wedding.

Kim reveals she wants her wedding to be: “something that’s special and intimate for my family and friends.” Does that mean the glitter ponies won’t be making a re-appearance? She is also planning to change her name – well kind of – telling Us Weekly: “I think at home and privately, for sure [I’ll be ‘Mrs. Humphries’.]Maybe I will make it Kim Kardashian-Humphries, but I think I will always have Kardashian for work. But at home, Humphries.”

As part of the wedding planning Momager, Kris Jenner has definitely not neglected the most important detail – the prenup! K2 have apparently already signed it and go figure Kim is not about to lose a cent if it turns out she in fact cheated if things don’t work out between the couple.

Us Weekly is also reporting the details of the prenup, which an ‘insider’ (named Kris Jenner) leaked: “Kim’s Beverly Hills home and all of her assets are protected. Additionally, she keeps anything she earns during the marriage.” The also reported that Kim allegedly made 12 Million last year according to Forbes – triple what fiancé Kris did. So what does Kris get if things don’t work out? Regret and that’s it! “He does not receive anything if the marriage fails. He agreed to that. He’s not worried.”

So what else is Kim planning besides the wedding? Babies! In Kardashian Baby Talk round 3 Zillion, as soon as the Royal Wedding big day happens, Kim is expecting to be expecting: “Well, I won’t have [a baby] by the end of the year, but maybe we’ll start trying by the end of the year. After the wedding,” she reveals. So providing things go well for the couple we can anticipate “A Baby For Kim! This Time It’s For Real!” magazine covers!

In other Kardashian news, Khloé is responding to those pesky rumors that Kim cheated with Bret Lockett and she is on the defense, telling E! News: “Honestly, this guy, it’s so funny, I’ve never heard of him, this person is, I think, crazy. It’s so weird that people these days can just say, like complete strangers, ‘Oh my god, he’s been seeing her for five months,’ and this and that, he’s crazy, I think it’s very…it’s sad.” In fact Khloe is so sure poor fame-seeking Bret Lockett is krazy she thinks he imagined his whole fling with Kim: “I think he really believes that he’s been with her.” I guess this guy is either really, really ridiculously into Kim or maybe… it happened?

So what do you think about the big wedding? Are you excited for Kim or do you think its just another Kardashian money making venture? Do you think Kim cheated?

Holly Madison is once again speaking out about her ex Hugh Hefner’s recent engagement and unlike the last time she spoke, she is not mincing her words this go around.

In a new interview with Life & Style magazine, Holly, 31, pretty much slams Hef’s new fiance, 24-year-old Crystal Harris. According to Holly, Hef can “do better than Crystal,” and she even goes on to warn Hef to reconsider his decision.

“I’d like to see Hef settle down,” Holly tells Life & Style. “I just want it to be with the right person, and I feel like he’s making a hasty decision. I’m not sure Crystal is the best thing for him.”

But it didn’t end there. “Crystal hasn’t been around very long — she’s a mysterious character,” says Holly. “No one knows much about her. Plus, she’s very young, probably too young to settle down. I’ve seen a lot of girls try to date Hef, and some have ulterior motives. I don’t think it would be a bad idea for him to get to know her a little better. I think it’s possible Crystal could break Hef’s heart. They could end up divorcing, and she could take half his money.”

Holly goes on to add that she just wants Hef to be happy when it’s all said and done. “I’m not jealous that he’d marry someone else. I just don’t want it to be a girl who’s using him to start her career,” she adds. “Basically, I think he could do better than Crystal.”

Oh yeah, season two of Holly’s World premieres Jan. 23 on E!

TELL US – THOUGHTS ON HOLLY’S LATEST COMMENTS?

In a new interview with E! Online, Holly Madison finally breaks her silence on the recent engagement news involving her ex Hugh Hefner.

The 31-year-old Holly’s World star is refreshingly surprisingly honest about her feelings on the engagement between Hugh, 84, and Crystal Harris, 24, making it clear she wasn’t exactly thrilled to hear the news.

“I’m very surprised,” Holly told E!. “I have a lot of different feelings on it. I don’t just feel one way. I kind of didn’t want to put a generic statement out there like ‘Congratulations!’ because I felt everyone would see through that.”

If you recall, Holly ended her 7 year romance with Hugh back in October 2008 after he refused to commit to marrying her or having children with her. The E! article states Hef found out he was unable to have more kids because of a low sperm count though Hef has never publicly stated or admitted this.

We will also get to see more of Holly’s feelings about Hugh and Crystal’s engagement as she recently paid them a visit at the Playboy mansion while the cameras rolled of course, capturing it all for her E! reality show.

“I’d describe it as awkward,” she told UsWeekly Wednesday about the face to face meeting. “I just wanted to get my feelings out about the engagement and I wanted to talk to him first. It’s definitely awkward to feel like you’re confronting someone I’m glad I did it. I wanted to be fair and tell him first.”

The new season of Holly’s World premieres on E! Jan. 23. And finally, just for kicks – below are some before plastic surgery photos of both Crystal and Holly.

TELL US – WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON HOLLY’S COMMENTS?

Just days after the E! network announced the upcoming Kourtney and Kim Take New York reality show , Kim Kardashian is now speaking out on the new show and moving to New York City.

The Keeping Up With The Kardashians star, who recently split from NFL player Miles Austin, reveals she is finally giving the single life a shot.

“This couldn’t have come at a more perfect time for me to just get out of my life [in LA] … I’m single and I keep on saying, ‘I’m single for the first time’ but I never have really given it a shot to be single,” she told Ryan Seacrest on his radio show. “I tried and I tried to play that role but I really wasn’t single.”

Kim intends on keeping things casual saying, “I’m down for some hookups.” And as of those romance rumors with rapper Kanye West (the two were photographed together when he paid a visit to her DASH store in NYC this week), Kim states she is not dating him.

“He came by the store. We wanted to show him our new designs of the store,” she explained before Ryan jokingly asked her about checking out Kanye. “I was not checking out his ass,” Kim added, “Don’t start any rumors!”

Photos of Kim with sister Kourtney and Kanye West below -

Move over Khloe! There’s a new Kardashian sister taking your place.

The E! network officially announced on Monday that Kim Kardashian, 29,will be replacing Khloe Kardashian, 26, on their hit series, now titled Kourtney and Kim Take New York!

Multiple media outlets confirmed months ago that the formerly titled Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami show would be moving to NYC. Kim’s addition to the show however comes as a total surprise.

According to E! news, Kim and Kourtney Kardashian, 30, are moving to NYC for the fall, to open up a new DASH store there. While Khloé will remain in L.A. with Lakers hubby Lamar Odom, managing the siblings’ SoCal shop. Khloe is expected to drop by on her sisters during the season.

“Mason, Kim, Scott [Disick] and I arrived in NYC,” Kourtney blogged on Monday. “So excited for some fall in the Big Apple. No better place…Are you ready, NYC?”

Kourtney and Kim Take New York is set to debut on E! in January 2011.

Is Scott Disick ready to turn over a new leaf?

In a new interview with Ryan Seacrest for E! News, the 27-year-old boyfriend of Kourtney Kardashian admits he’s struggled with anger management, alcohol, and other issues.

“I had to take a look at where my life is going, or where it was gonna go if I kept acting the way I was,” said Scott. “I never ever wanted to admit that I may have a problem.”

And what kind of problems would that be? “I got lots. I got it all,” Scott added. “There comes a point where you can’t keep living like that.” Scott also shared he regrets “the things that I’ve done to Kourtney; [I’ve] treated her poorly.”

“I hope to God I can look to those [mistakes] like blessings in disguise and be able to learn from them, and proceed with a better, healthier life for the both of us — especially now because of Mason,” added the new dad.

In other news, tonight brings us a new episode of Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami. What’s coming tonight? Well more Kourtney and Scott drama of course.

In the preview clip below, you can see Kourtney as she lashes out at Scott after learning he went clubbing with her Dash boutique employees.

TELL US – WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE NEW SEASON OF KKTM? AND OF TONIGHT’S EPISODE?

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