I feel like there is a giant math equation regarding how much gossip we hear about the show in proportion to the ratio of time a housewives franchise has been on the air divided by the amount of certified crazies in the cast and then taken to the third power of the square root of how many on-air divorces occur multiplied by the number of husbands we think could potentially be cheating. It's like E=MC² up in here!
Given all of those mathematical conundrums, it only makes sense we'd be hearing a lot the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills at the moment. We've got the crazies, we've got the divorces, and I have some suspicions about some of those husbands! First up, we've got Brandi Glanville engaging in yet another Twitter war with home wrecker (don't sue me!) LeAnn Rimes and more news on the Adrienne Maloof front.
You may not agree, but I think Brandi Glanville is the spice so needed for Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. She's brash, she's offensive, she's everything her counterparts want to be but pretend that they're not. You add in the fact that Brandi's ex-husband Eddie Cibrian couldn't keep it in his pants, and she proceeds to run into his former mistresses throughout 90210, and you've got a great reality recipe for drama.
I know y'all recall the SUR party last season (you know, the one Cedric Martinez tried to crash, not to be confused with this season's Villa Blanca party when Adrienne Maloof sent that passive aggressive jungle arrangement to Lisa Vanderpump) when Brandi ran smack dab into SUR waitress Scheana Marie who had once gotten to know Eddie really well…if you catch my drift.
Fast forward to Scheana starring in Bravo's new Vanderfabulous spin-off Vanderpump Rules, and she's all over the media yet again for that unfortunate run in with Brandi. Of course, Brandi handled the situation with as much class as Brandi can…she did a better job than I would have expected. From previews, we know that the women will come face-to-face yet again (thanks producers!) to finally say their peace, and now media outlets are revisiting that original awkward meeting as Bravo hypes its newest reality show.
The scariest part of the ordeal is that doctors still don't know what is wrong with Brandi. After suffering from chest pains and finding a benign lump under her arm, there is still no diagnosis for the brash mother of two. While the hospital trip doesn't seem to be slowing Brandi down–she's still going to be on Watch What Happens Live tonight–it still has to be unnerving to have such a health scare.
Oh Brandi Glanville! I love when you open your mouth because we never know what is going to come pouring out of it! The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star is notorious for not having a filter when it comes to speaking her mind. Sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes it misses the mark, and sometimes we're left scratching our heads wondering just what point she was hoping to convey. Today, we cover all three of those bases!
With the upcoming premiere of Season 3, the women of RHOBH have been making the rounds and chatting with any media outlet that will listen. Brandi has a lot to talk about, whether it's her strained relationship with her ex-husband's new wife, her new book, or a bunch of other gibberish that seems to spew from her mouth. She's a piece of work, that one!
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Admittedly, sometimes I get in my own head about things, which may explain a little bit more about my love of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. No, this isn't a Honey Boo Boo post because that would be easy. No, this entry focuses on LeAnn Rimes'Twitter battle with a Real Housewives of Beverly Hills'Brandi Glanville fan which led to the country singer suing the fan who is a teacher. Don't get me wrong, LeAnn is three-star cray in my book but this disgruntled fan isn't doing herself any favors by continuing to talk to the press. I have to wonder if either of these ladies realize there are actual and legitimate problems going on in the world. Probably not.
Here's a mini-break down. LeAnn and Brandi's Twitter followers were embroiled in a toxic tweeting war. Fans of each woman were bashing the wannabe celebs and their followers in what can only be described as mean girl bullies hiding behind their lattes and laptops. Do these people not have jobs?
Anyhoo, LeAnn was particularly sensitive to the negative things being said about her. Instead of doing what a normal person of her status would do (ie, deleting her Twitter, because who cares about what the commoners think? OR laughing maniacally while dancing around with millions of dollars, pitying those who have only enough money to afford the Internet with which they are bashing her), she went into the trenches, launching her own attacks. Somehow (I'm still foggy as to how this occurred), she ended up with the phone number of one of her greatest haters. And she called her. I'm assuming LeAnn thought that Kim Smiley getting a phone call from a quasi famous person would immediately render her star-struck, and she's stop hatefully tweeting like a mad woman. Boy, did LeAnn misread that situation.
Not only did Kim not buckle to LeAnn, she recorded their phone call which apparently has the singer going from kind to cursing in a matter of minutes. Again, who (on either side) has the time for this? Blah, blah, blah, and LeAnn is suing Kim for illegally recording her. Our tax dollars at work, ladies and gentlemen.
Every time I have to write about LeAnn RimesTwitter battle, I giggle out loud. The entire concept is something so completely foreign to me, and it reminds me of a passage from Dr. Seuss' wonderful book Fox in Socks, "Let's have a little talk about tweetle beetles….What do you know about tweetle beetles? Well…When tweetle beetles fight, it's called a tweetle beetle battle. And when they battle in a puddle, it's a tweetle beetle puddle battle." It's seriously what goes through my head every time. Every. Time.
When LeAnntweetle twitter battles, she does it with fans of her new husband's ex-wife, Real Housewives of Beverly HIlls'Brandi Glanville. Then she sues them. As we all know, LeAnn is suing a teacher who allegedly taped a conversation when the singer called to find out why said teacher was mean to her on Twitter. A great deal of swearing occurred on LeAnn's part. Now the teacher, Kimberly Smiley (any relation to Slade?) is asking for an extension to fight the suit, as she has been unable to raise enough money to hire an attorney.
You know you've made it big as a housewife when you write a book, or rather if you have a ghost writer write a book for you! Well, it appears that Brandi Glanville of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is making it big. The sharp-tongued, Twitter loving, scorned wife is writing a book where she will share her wealth of knowledge and advice on relationships (what not to do, I'd assume).
Brandi's guide to dating will help readers score the person of their dreams as long as they do as she says and not as she does. The best part of Brandi's tome? She is letting her fans pick the title, and I must say, they are pretty hilarious!
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Oh gracious. Would I be totally remiss to suggest that maybe Real Housewives of Beverly Hills'Brandi Glanville and her nemesis/frenemy/mistress turned wife of her ex-husband LeAnn Rimes could possibly in cahoots to get twice the attention? I mean, first LeAnn checks into rehab because she loses a Twitter battle (Lindsay Lohan, take note) to Brandi's zombie followers, and the next thing you know, there is a rumor circulating that the real reason for the former singer's "exhaustion and anxiety" is that LeAnn's hubby Eddie Cibrian is cheating on his current wife with his former wife. Follow? I don't blame you.
If you think about it, it's truly a diabolical plan, and it benefits both of them. Brandi gets to enact her revenge on her skeezy husband and his homewrecking new wife, while LeAnn finally appears oh-so-slightly sympathetic. Kind of. If you can over look the fact that she got into a Twitter war with commoners. So no, not really. At all.