"I dedicate this book to all the men I've loved before and to all the single people looking for love in this world: keep hope alive, learn from my mistakes, and by all means #KeepItSexy," Brandi begins after telling us P.S. "Social media is ruining romance". Yes, Brandi and so are drunken tabloid photos.
With an introduction titled "How To Get Screwed" (the first line of which is "F–k me."), you know you're in for a wild ride! Brandi gives a ton of anecdotes and continues with her theme of interweaving hashtags throughout the text as if twitter truly is writing this book.
A snippet of the introduction and the first chapter are below!
What can I say about Brandi Glanville that hasn't already been said? She over shares? Yup. She has no filter? Duh. She has no problem throwing people under the bus? Check. Really nothing that comes out of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' star's mouth shocks me anymore.
If you watch RHOBH, you know Brandi makes no secret about her financial situation. Even with her best-sellers, her bank account isn't even in the same stratosphere as her co-stars. I'm a flip-flopping Brandi fan, but I do like how candid she is about her struggles with money. She may not have the most, but she works hard for what she has…unlike when she was married to Eddie Cibrian.
Bravo has created its fair share of monsters, no doubt about it. However, what's a gal to do when it creates two monsters, and those monsters start feuding very publicly about feminine hygiene? With whom do you side? It's a conundrum, I tell you!
Brandi Glanville sometimes has a hard time keeping her comments to herself. But what's a girl to do when she has so many comments to make?!
Last week Brandi's potty mouth got her in trouble with Yolanda Foster when she took it upon herself to gossip about Yolanda's ex-husband Mohamed Hadid and his alleged extramarital affair with Joanna Krupa. But oh no, Brandi did not stop there! She then gave us some extreme potty mouth when she discussed Joanna's nether regions. I'll never look at shellfish the same way again…
"I have met most of these women only once and consider them friendly acquaintances — but I don't actually know any of them personally other then Lea Black," Brandi says of the Real Housewives of Miami cast. "Yolanda and I had both heard that this woman from RHOM had an affair with her ex during their marriage. While at a Bravo party this other woman started to walk up to me — and when she saw Yolanda turned and ran the other way."
A source told E! News the "intimate party" included friends Jennifer Gimenez and former beauty queen Adrienne Janik (who was briefly rumored to be a contender for joining RHOBH) and Brandi's on-again/off-again realtor boyfriend J.R. "All in all, it was just a really nice dinner. Everyone, especially Brandi, had a good time."
I guess if we have to live in a world where attention seekers are rewarded for bad behavior and outrageous shenanigans, I may as well be entertained by them, right? And I definitely find Real Housewives of Beverly Hills'Brandi Glanville to be, um, entertaining.
While Brandi's certainly not the reality star I'd want to hang out with on a regular basis (but should Theresa Caputo, Curtis Stone, orLisa Vanderpump feel so inclined…call me!), she is crass and sassy which are two of the characteristics I'm drawn to in friends. She isn't afraid to let it all hang out (literally…how could you forget this?) in the Twitterverse, her best-selling book, and now her online podcast aptly titled Brandi Glanville Unfiltered. Bravo breaks down her premiere episode where she shares several revelations ranging from taking a copycat Kim Kardashianbooty-bearing selfie to having high cholesterol from her diet.
You can't see me, but I am laughing so hard at this story. It is amazing on oh so many wonderful levels, and it involves two ladies who eat, sleep, and breathe drama (and Twitter). What could be better?
You want to sleep with Brandi's husband? Well, she'll just befriend yours and let the whole world know about it. What's more deserving of sympathy than one duped spouse? You guessed it! Two duped spouses.