Erika Girardi

Last night was part 3 of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion. Which means this season of interminable squabbles about protocol and etiquette at the queen’s court of public opinion, an unintentional farce from the court jester, is over. Thank you Dorit Kemsley for your tragicomic contributions to Reality TV – we salute you with a beer stein filled with cheap champagne.

So last night the ladies of Beverly Hills trotted out their plethora of headache-inducing shiny dresses for the last time to bicker over such impotent social slights as who talks about themselves the most (the answer: always and forever Kyle Richards) and the definition of a liar. For the record, I really dislike recapping reunions. It’s like following a verbal tennis game and I always want to activate closed captioning on my TV to catch all the shady little barbs, except I don’t actually know how to turn that on. Maybe that’s a good thing?

Is there a reason the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills reunion is three parts? A good portion of last night was more footage of the ladies doing lunch, albeit backstage where they continued talking about each other’s low-level dramas.

As much as I enjoy watching Lisa Vanderpump sitting around in her bathroom eating salad while counseling Dorit Kemsley through perceived slights against Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave, it’s evident that this was filler so Bravo could bilk another episode out of the rather lackluster reunion. I’m in the minority, apparently, in not minding that the drama was mostly surface and petty – it’s a nice breather from such heavy seasons about substance abuse and serious family dysfunction (I mean I love that too), but I certainly think they could’ve gotten away with a two-part reunion. 

I have so many thoughts on last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills reunion, but the thing I am most excited to discuss – the thing I’ve been waiting to talk about ALL WEEK – is Lisa Rinna‘s hair. It sort of looked like a mop head, no? But it was extreme soap opera and combined with the dress Lipsa obviously decided to bring what she lacked all season, pulling ‘SASSY LISA RINNA’ out of her duster pocket and lettin’er rip. So f–k you, Jeremy! And shut up Lisa Vanderpump.

These girls were quite petty last night, were they not? Like Erika Girardi seriously trying to shade John Mellencamp over a joke made by Andy Cohen that they should collaborate. She’s just bitter that her music will never actually be considered music. (She’s a peeeerrrrrrfffffoooormer). Why can’t Erika ever take a joke?! Insecure much.