This week us lucky ducks get a double-dose of Farrah Abraham! First on the MTV special (is it fair to call something that tragic and terrible "special" which implies good?) Being Farrah and then again on Couples Therapy. Woooh!
And since two hours of Farrah on my TV this week are not enough we get to hear even more about her shenanigans in the media. Oh joy! First up, since Farrah likes loves plastic surgery something awful, she is totally fine with her 5-year-old daughter getting it in the future. Like she might have to get Sophia's binky surgically removed!
"I have to say, we very much believe that we are pretty,” Farrahtells Radar Online. “We are secure people. But if there’s something that she can’t live with, then yes go for it!” This from the woman who waxed her three-year-old's eyebrows.
Farrah does agree Sophia should wait until she's an adult to get nipped and tucked. “If she would like to do that, she’s her own adult," she rambles. "And … if it’s for a real reason.”
Farrah boohooed about not giving Vivid permission to release the new footage of her very private homemade sex tape porn film with her boyfriend a porn star, James Deen. In case there was any doubt, Farrah lied and TMZ has a screen shot of an email to prove she gave Vivid the OK to release video or video(s).
Also last week, Taylor Armstrong bashed Farrah on Couples Therapy, so we have to endure another exchange between these two puffy lipped liar faces. Taylor called Farrah a f–king rat, among other things, and now Farrah thinks Taylor is jealous of her. Because, on Planet Famewhore, this makes sense.
The keyboard ink wasn't even dry on our post about Farrah Abraham's sex tape sequel and she's already in full on victim mode.
Vivid Entertainment announced that it was releasing a sequel to Backdoor Teen Mom, due out the day before Valentine's Day. We wondered how long it would take Farrah to jump on her soapbox and play the blame game again. About 13 minutes.
Farrah Abraham is a whole host of crazy that I don't think anyone is psychiatrist-y enough to fix!
On this week's Couples TherapyFarrah revealed that she liked signed some stuff – a huge contract of stuff, but legally she couldn't reveal what it is. She did claim to regret signing her name on the dotted line, however.
This week Farrahalso claimed that her parents abused her and in the past she has been drugged and raped. Oh dear. Are all of Farrah's reveals a publicity stunt? Because Fishwrapper just learned that Farrah now has a second sex tape due to be released next week!
Yes – there will be two more on-camera romps starring Farrah and James Deen! And they just get racier and racier. Eeks. Vivid execs reveal exclusively that Farrah partakes in "fantasy fetish swings as foreplay" in one tape.
This is so, so rich. The two most upstanding ladies that MTV has introduced us to courtesy of Teen Mom are feuding over who is the better (worse?) mom to the children they very rarely see. One of them has a penchant for pregnancies while the other has a predilection for porn.
I bet you can't even guess of whom I'm speaking, can you? Bwahahaha! I'm kiddding, of course. We all know the only logical fame whores battling on social media could only be Jenelle Evans and Farrah Abraham. Farrah mades some back handed comments about how fertile Jenelle is, and Jenelle retorted, citing Farrah's backdoor aptitude for surgery and having the paps on speed dial. Man, this is amazingly bad. See you later brain cells!
Have you heard? There's a new show called Farrah's Therapy on VH1. It's a cross between Teen Mom Horror Story and Couples (Table For One) Therapy. The star of the show universe, Farrah Abraham, pretends to cry, makes ugly faces, and blames all of her problems on the strangers living in her house, as well as her parents, while a doctor by the name of Jenn Berman enables her.
Seriously, if VH1 wanted to cash in on the tragedy that is Farrah, why not just create a new show around her? Porn Stars Therapy or Celebrity Liars Rehab?
But I digress. It's day five in the Couples Therapy house. Sada Bettencourt and Whitney Mixter watch Backdoor Teen Mom and come to realize it's not a homemade sex tape. Not even close! It's a fully produced porn film. Whitney says she's not judging the Teen Mom star for having sex on camera, as she's been there, done that – but she has zero patience for Farrah's "sex tape" lies.
I don't know whether I should thank VH1 or condemn them for bringing Farrah Abraham back into our reality TV lives. This season Farrah appears SOLO on Couples Therapy because she couldn't even pay someone to be seen with her.
Since James Deen had enough with her when he rented out his peen, Farrah opted to hire Brian Dawe to play her boyfriend. Brian got the heebie-jeebies when he realized he'd actually like have to spend a lot of time with Farrah and act like he cared, so he admitted the whole thing was a hoax.
Dr. Jenn Berman denies knowing the relationship was reportedly staged and Farrah is of course claiming Brian is like such a liar! Cause Farrah never does anything wrong. Nope everyone is doing bad stuff TO HER. I see that therapy really worked…
"It has been hard for me to look back after everything I've been through," Farrah whines on Keek and seriously it looks like she's reading from a script.