I apologize in advance. There is so much for me to be sorry for in this post. I am sorry to each of you, because what you are about to read is truly ridiculous, but I urge you to keep reading. Why? Because I can't unread it, and I want people to suffer with me. I'm sorry to Jessica Alba (you'll want to apologize to her too, trust me). I'm sorry to the English language. I butcher you enough, but I am no where near the offender that Farrah Abraham is, and she's a flipping New York Times bestselling author.
I'm really sorry to the blogger at Celeb Buzz who had to interview the Teen Mom star turned porn queen and try to make sense of some of the things that come out of this chick's mouth (double entendre not intended…wait, yes it was). Lastly, I feel sorry FOR young Sophia because she is going to have a lot to overcome. I even pity Farrah. Sure, she's making more money than I'll ever see in my life, but wow. She is just a sad, lost soul.
Farrah completed book one of the trilogy, Celebrity Sex Tape, and secured a publishing deal for all three books. The first book is Celebrity Sex Tape: In The Making. The trilogy follows a character by the name of Fallon Opal – she's a reality TV star who likes sex. HAHA – wonder how long it took Farrah to develop that character.
Farrah shared, “Fallon’s story follows what I’ve gone through recently, much of it witnessed and misunderstood by the public. Book One is an entertaining and sexually charged novel, but it is also an inside look at the underside of being a reality TV star that everyone else can relate to.”
Season four has been the highest-rated and most popular season of Couples Therapy thus far thanks to reality TV fans flocking to VH1 to see train wrecks such as RHOBH's Taylor Armstrong, Teen Mom's Farrah Abraham, and Jon & Kate Plus 8's Jon Gosselin. They did not disappoint — but Dr. Jenn Berman definitely did every time she failed to call out Taylor's lies, supported Farrah's delusions, and enabled Jon's anger issues
Speaking of Jon, he scored oodles of air time last week when he claimed Kate Gosselin refused to let him talk to his kids on the phone – and then he called her a "piece of f–king shit" and a "shitty human being" on camera. I never doubted Jon's story because, um, Kate is a nasty, vindictive person, However, according to an inside source, Jon lied about the phone call.
FarrahAbraham and the little engine of lies that simply could not stop is about to get her a$$ served. And not by James Deen, but by James Deen'sboss Vivid Entertainment!
CEO of the smut purveying empire Steve Hirsch has had about enough of Farrah's mouth and issued a cease and desist letter to the Couples Therapy star. "Farrah thinks she can insult and defame the Vivid brand and get away with it," Steve told Fish Wrapper. "Either she stops now or we will take immediate legal action. She will be held accountable."
The problem is that Farrah is desperate to make people believe she's not a porn star despite all evidence to the contrary – and she's even going so far to insinuate that she was drugged and raped while promoting Backdoor Teen Mom as a representative for Vivid. But even worse she's suggesting that she was manipulated into signing a 3-film deal with Vivid. Not the case says Steve!
This week us lucky ducks get a double-dose of Farrah Abraham! First on the MTV special (is it fair to call something that tragic and terrible "special" which implies good?) Being Farrah and then again on Couples Therapy. Woooh!
And since two hours of Farrah on my TV this week are not enough we get to hear even more about her shenanigans in the media. Oh joy! First up, since Farrah likes loves plastic surgery something awful, she is totally fine with her 5-year-old daughter getting it in the future. Like she might have to get Sophia's binky surgically removed!
"I have to say, we very much believe that we are pretty,” Farrahtells Radar Online. “We are secure people. But if there’s something that she can’t live with, then yes go for it!” This from the woman who waxed her three-year-old's eyebrows.
Farrah does agree Sophia should wait until she's an adult to get nipped and tucked. “If she would like to do that, she’s her own adult," she rambles. "And … if it’s for a real reason.”
Farrah boohooed about not giving Vivid permission to release the new footage of her very private homemade sex tape porn film with her boyfriend a porn star, James Deen. In case there was any doubt, Farrah lied and TMZ has a screen shot of an email to prove she gave Vivid the OK to release video or video(s).
Also last week, Taylor Armstrong bashed Farrah on Couples Therapy, so we have to endure another exchange between these two puffy lipped liar faces. Taylor called Farrah a f–king rat, among other things, and now Farrah thinks Taylor is jealous of her. Because, on Planet Famewhore, this makes sense.
The keyboard ink wasn't even dry on our post about Farrah Abraham's sex tape sequel and she's already in full on victim mode.
Vivid Entertainment announced that it was releasing a sequel to Backdoor Teen Mom, due out the day before Valentine's Day. We wondered how long it would take Farrah to jump on her soapbox and play the blame game again. About 13 minutes.