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Farrah Abraham

farrah-abraham

Goodness gracious. Does Farrah Abraham ever just stay home and read a book? It feels like she's been crying about being single, bitching about life in general, and justifying her sex tape for years. and years. and years. now. 

In a recent interview with ET, the former Teen Mom star revealed yet another supposed reason behind her personal video Farrah Superstar, "I have no relationships and I'm, like, sad sometimes. So, taking all this into consideration, which some find it hard to, that's what brought me here today."

Similarly, Farrah uploaded a Keek video last week, where she also bellyached about being sad. In an attempt to garner sympathy, Farrah cried about only dating "loser a** boys" who use, lie, and manipulate, adding that she's been "crying every night" because she has been "single and alone" for four years.  

What Farrah fails to realize (and probably never will) is that she is the reason she's alone. She's an insufferable, narcissistic bitch who treats everyone in her life like they're beneath her. But, you know, that's just my opinion. ;) 

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Could Farrah Abraham be the next Kim Kardashian?

I really hope not. I seriously doubt that many people will ever care to Keep Up With The Abrahams. However, for reasons I'll never understand, a lot of people cared to Keep Up With Farrah's Backdoor.

Whole. Body. Shudder. For real. 

According to TMZ's sources, Farrah's video, Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom, attracted more than two million viewers in just 12 hours. Crazy, right? In comparison, Kim K Superstar garnered a piddly 600,000 views in the same time frame. In response to the news, the former Teen Mom star tweeted:

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Ugh… well errrr… I hope Farrah Abraham was in church to atone for her sins! The former Teen Mom turned sex tape superstar tweeted that she was spending her Cinco de Mayo Sunday with Jesus.

Where she presumably begged the Lord for forgiveness for her naked wrestling antics and chemically influenced driving and incredible delusional rants, right? Probably not. Farrah likely believes the Lord wants her to be happy and she's happiest tangling with James Deen, lying about it, and then spending that money, honey! 

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Sex tapes… drug busts… what would MTV's resident therapist say? 

Well, when that "therapist" is Dr. Drew Pinsky, not a whole lot. Dr. Drew's reaction to the deplorable choices made by Farrah Abraham and Jenelle Evans as of late comes across as less "Woah! Let's get these girls some help!" and more "Woe is me! Nobody listens to me!" 

“If she would have called me for advice, I would have told her not to do this," Dr. Drew said about Farrah's sex tape. “But she is not my patient, she is not my kid."

News Flash, Dr. Drew: Advice is for imperfect people, Farrah is faultless

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Hey y'all…want to know a quick and easy way to pay for culinary school and get your Master's degree?  If you answered "apply for scholarships and student loans" you'd be sorely mistaken.  Take a lesson from Farrah Abraham and achieve these goals by shopping around a manufactured home movie of the adult variety.  Ah, youth.

That's right!  The former Teen Mom wants to make all of her educational dreams come true, and she's now going to be able to make those dreams a reality thanks to a little film called Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom.  Take that, Sallie Mae!  Farrah doesn't need your federal funds to reach her collegiate aspirations.

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See which of your favorite reality TV stars are celebrating a birthday in May!

 

Kelly Bensimon – May 1

Karen Gravano – May 8

Tori Spelling – May 16

Kandi Burruss – May 17

Countess LuAnn de Lesseps – May 17

Derek Hough – May 17 1985

Tabatha Coffey – May 17

Teresa Giudice – May 18

Chef Roble - May 18

Kim Zolciak – May 19

Joe Giudice – May 22

Chris Manzo – May 23 1989

Scott Disick - May 26

Albie Manzo – May 27 1986

Farrah Abraham – May 31

 

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farrah-abraham

It's a great week for Teen Mom's Farrah Abraham, and it's only Tuesday!  She lives such a charmed life, doesn't she?  In light of her recent DUI woes and adult film aspirations, you'd think life would be hard for the former reality star.  However, Farrah always seems to come out on top…I mean, I haven't seen the video (and I can assure you I never will), but I'm guessing that she does.  Too much?

Not only did the twenty-one-year-old ink a deal to start selling that bad boy of a sex tape, she's also ready to go with her DUI case.  Guess what, y'all?  She's NOT GUILTY!

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Well it was only a matter of time until Farrah Abraham's "private sex tape" (made purely for posterity of her posterior, of course) got sold to the highest bidder!

Farrah's XXX famous co-star James Deen leaked that the Teen Mom star had made the tape on purpose and asked him to be her co-star with the hopes of pretending it just got "out". Farrah denied all this, insisted we're all idiots on Dr. Phil, and then conceded she would release it for $2 million dollars.

Last week Farrah was spotted hauling her father and her 3-year-old daughter Sophia to the Vivid Entertainment offices (I hope she waxed her eyebrows first!) and today TMZ reveals that Farrah has indeed sold her tape!

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