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Farrah Abraham

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So first you have to actually believe that Farrah Abraham or her mom actually had $250,000 to throw around. Then if you believe that you have to remember this is Farrah Abraham who has never told the truth in her life. 

In today's laughable Farrah story, she is accusing her mom Debra Danielson of getting wrapped up in some international online dating scheme that depleted her of a quarter million dollars. 

In a deleted scene from a past episode of Couples Therapy (but available on the VH1 website) Farrah is seen concocting a crazy story about her mom to Taylor Armstrong and asking for advice. Oh man could these two compare notes…  

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jon-gosselin-couples-therapy

Last night on Couples Therapy, Dr. Jenn Berman and Dr. Mike Dow asked the four couples and one lone bird to "let out their past demons" by destroying a house. And the Couples Therapy Award for Disturbing Anger Issues goes to Jon Gosselin. This guy need serious help with anger management. Like, real therapy, not made for reality TV therapy.

From last week, Whitney Mixter and Sada Bettencourt are trying to recover from an intense and emotional argument. They suck at communication, but Whitney has the patience of a saint and recognizes that Sada's nervous about seeing her dad and taking it out on her. 

Whitney says she tries to be sensitive to Sada's needs, but she wishes Sada would speak up if she's missing the mark. Sada says she knows Whitney's not a mind reader. However, she follows that with, but communication is reading your partner's cues and emotions. Oh Sada. Is there any hope for her? On a positive note, she does understand that she projects her issues onto Whitney.

Out of the blue, Farrah Abraham crawls into bed with Taylor Armstrong and John Bluher for a "bed shot" picture. You can take the girl out of the porn, but you can't take the porn out of the girl.  Taylor plays along despite the fact that she hates Farrah's guts. Because, cameras!

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In Touch the sixth annual ICONS & IDOLS

Farrah Abraham and the little engine of lies that simply could not stop is about to get her a$$ served. And not by James Deen, but by James Deen's boss Vivid Entertainment! 

CEO of the smut purveying empire Steve Hirsch has had about enough of Farrah's mouth and issued a cease and desist letter to the Couples Therapy star. "Farrah thinks she can insult and defame the Vivid brand and get away with it," Steve told Fish Wrapper. "Either she stops now or we will take immediate legal action. She will be held accountable."

The problem is that Farrah is desperate to make people believe she's not a porn star despite all evidence to the contrary – and she's even going so far to insinuate that she was drugged and raped while promoting Backdoor Teen Mom as a representative for Vivid. But even worse she's suggesting that she was manipulated into signing a 3-film deal with Vivid. Not the case says Steve

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Premiere of 'The Hungover Games' - Arrivals

This week us lucky ducks get a double-dose of Farrah Abraham! First on the MTV special (is it fair to call something that tragic and terrible "special" which implies good?) Being Farrah and then again on Couples Therapy. Woooh! 

And since two hours of Farrah on my TV this week are not enough we get to hear even more about her shenanigans in the media. Oh joy! First up, since Farrah likes loves plastic surgery something awful, she is totally fine with her 5-year-old daughter getting it in the future. Like she might have to get Sophia's binky surgically removed!

"I have to say, we very much believe that we are pretty,” Farrah tells Radar Online. “We are secure people. But if there’s something that she can’t live with, then yes go for it!” This from the woman who waxed her three-year-old's eyebrows

Farrah does agree Sophia should wait until she's an adult to get nipped and tucked. “If she would like to do that, she’s her own adult," she rambles. "And … if it’s for a real reason.”

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being-farrah

Being Farrah entails many things. It does not entail telling the truth, accepting responsibility for your actions, or acting like an adult – just an adult film star. 

We check in with the former Teen Mom as if we haven't seen enough of her on Couples Therapy, and Farrah Abraham tells us she's raising Sophia alone – or not because she's actually living with her dad Michael and traveling all over for her big important career of not being in the adult entertainment industry or taking a break from reality TV.

While Farrah is off being Farrah, Michael is actually raising Sophia in the huge enormous house Farrah's not being a porn star career paid for, but she doesn't want to talk about all that. Like ick!  Now that MTV is back, so is Farrah. Lucky Sophia! 

Debra and Michael are now divorced. Debra moved 1000 miles away and was happy in isolation until MTV knocked on her door with cameras. "How did you find me?" she whispers. "Leave me alone…" Next time try the witness protection program, Debra! And try wearing a less flamboyant coat than that full-length leopard-print number. 

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couples-therapy-jon-gosselin

This week on Couples Therapy,  Taylor Armstrong,  Ghostface Killah, Farrah Abraham, and Sada Bettencourt share harrowing tales of childhood trauma with Dr. Jenn Berman. Then Farrah's mom, Debra Danielson, joins Farrah and Dr. Jenn for a bit of therapy. Certainly not nearly enough therapy for either Farrah or Debra. Both of them are beyond broken.

Picking up where we left off, Sada and Taylor talking to Jon Gosselin and Liz Jennetta about how bitchy Liz is to Jon. Surprisingly Liz takes it well and listens to what Sada says and Taylor slurs. 

The next day, Dr. Jenn talks to Jon alone because she feels his relationship is doomed if he doesn't start to demand respect from Liz.  Jon truly believe Liz loves him.  Then, he says he dated a lot of women and felt the best connection with Liz, and I stare at my TV in disbelief.  Who are these women who want to date Jon Gosselin?!? Seriously! Dr. Jenn wishes Jon luck, adding, "You need to come from a place of strength, not a place of woundedness." 

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couples-therapy-kelsey-ghost-latrice

Last night's Couples Therapy went like - Ghostface Killah went to the booty market,  Kelsey Nykole stayed at home.  Taylor Armstrong had fillers and vodka, Farrah Abraham had fillers and rum. And Jon Gosselin went boo hoo hoo all the way home.  Only, the end is only wishful thinking on my part.  Jon boohooed but never went home.  Because, paycheck.  The dude needs money to pay child support buy hair gel and smokes. 

From last week, Kelsey just stormed out of a therapy session she was sharing with Ghost and Latrice.  So Taylor sniffs out the drama and follows Kelsey because the delusional fruitcake seems to think she's one of the therapists. Dr. Jenn Berman, who isn't much better than Taylor, appears and reminds Kelsey that she doesn't need crumbs of Ghost's love. Kelsey says she's done with him but wants to apologize to Latrice. 

Kelsey doesn't have any reason to apologize, in my opinion, but she has more class and empathy in one of her hair folds than Ghost has in his entire body. She tells Latrice that she wouldn't have let Ghost into her world had she known she was his side piece, adding, "Not sure what Ghost has told you, but we was developing something." A devastated Latrice wonders if she will be able to trust Ghost after this. Huh? Really, girl?  

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Premiere of 'The Hungover Games' - Arrivals

Farrah Abraham has packed up her lube and sex swing and closed her doors for business. And, just like that, she's a virgin. With her sights set on becoming a nun. Or something. 

Last week, the Couples Therapy star revealed that she'd been drugged and raped at porn conventions following the release of Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom, and now Farrah has decided to be a virgin. 

Farrah told Life & Style, “People use sex for power and manipulation when sex is supposed to be enjoyable and great,” adding “I don’t feel that. I want to be a virgin forever — or a nun.”

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