Last night on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills finale, Lisa Vanderpump's lovely vow renewal/housewarming party was infiltrated by some serious thugs in cocktail dresses.Adrienne Maloof showed up not six minutes after announcing her separation on TMZ and then she sat in the middle of the party like a centerpiece bawling about the marriage she openly hated on national television. If only that Paul Nassif wasn't such a desperate attention seeking jerk!
Everyone thought Adrienne's eleventh hour appearance was a cry for attention, except for Kyle Richards who believed it to be a cry for help since Adrienne couldn't answer her phone that day unless your number was 1-800-TMZ1!
And Faye Resnick. Yes, she's STILL there. Once Brandi Glanville and Yolanda Foster flee her admonitions of how to be a lady, they hide behind a column and fill Lisa in on the nonsense. Lisa is not impressed. Marisa Zanuck comes over to get clarification on what a hallpass is and the ladies manage to resolve their issues. Things go much better in the shade than they do the blinding sun; the blinding glares were reflecting off Faye's extra-taut skin giving everyone temporary insanity.
Faye is hereby dubbed MC for short. MC, of course, stands for Morally Corrupt. Long-live the real Camille Grammer, never a girl to mince words and never a girl who forgets to be pernicious. I do believe Camille's smirking S1 Dinner Party From Hell face is right next to the definition in the dictionary.
We can always count on Brandi Glanville to speak the truth, even if people are rising up against her in outrage. FromFaye Resnick to LeAnn Rimes; Brandi has never backed down from her enemies. It's why we love her.
Brandi shares that the reunion was downright frightening! “The girls really have a go at Yolanda [Foster],” Brandi reveals. Yolanda who is suffering from Lyme Disease and battling memory loss as a result. Brandi feels some of her cast mates weren't very sympathetic or compassionate.
“Her brain still wasn’t functioning when she shot the reunion. She couldn’t remember what she had just said, and she couldn’t remember a lot of things. And they were going at her, and I just stepped in and I was, like, ‘Hold up! … Leave her the f**k alone,’ and it got a little ugly."
While Lisa is cool as a cucumber, she's fuming mad about last week's episode and the assignations made against Brandi by Faye Resnick. Lisa calls into question Faye's ethics, honesty, and behaviors!
Starting with Marisa Zanuck revealing Brandi's "playful" text at Adrienne's party and Faye's reveal that Brandi had sex in the bathroom at the white party, Lisa is "disgusted."
"I was the one who knocked on the door, opened it as they were all gossiping outside at the party," Lisa clarifies in her Bravo blog. "Yes she was having a good old snog as we say in England. What is wrong with that? However I knew this was a fuel for many if I didn't intervene."
Faye's friend, Daniel DiCriscio, a celebrity hair stylist who has known Faye for many years and is also an acquaintance of Lisa Vanderpump gives Reality Tea some behind-the-scenes details about Faye's life and about her busybody, attention-seeking ways! Hint: It turns out Faye has a lot more in common with Adrienne Maloof than orange day-glo tans and rubberized catified faces!
In my recap of last night's episode, I asked the question: "Who is Faye Resnick in this world?" Well Daniel has the answer! Be prepared to be scandalized and secretly delighted by the salacious details!
Now that's she's quit her day job, Adrienne Maloof is investing her efforts in various business ventures. There are hooves and tinsels and purses as plastic as her mug – and there is also Zing Vodka, endorsed by Chris Brown!
Several ladies announced on twitter yesterday that they were gearing up for the blood bath. Yolanda Foster shared "Maintenance day. Pulling myself together for the big day tomorrow, taping of the RHOBH reunion."
Brandi Glanville confirmed the official beginning of reunion day (which is notorious for hauling HW to a undisclosed location at 6am!) on twitter.
So where do we begin with this mess of a show that is Real Housewives of Beverly Hills? It was just a blur of white noise. Splits Richards decided there hadn't been enough drama as of late so she decided to host her annual White Party. I mean screw P Diddy and Cannes, this is THE event of the season. Bust out your white swim suit cover-ups, get ready to twirl your hair round your head like a helicopter (one of these days Kyle is going to take off!), and then go threaten to sue your friends! Open bar on the left.
In other happenings,Kim Richards got a nose job. I mean, what else has she got to do? Kim's nose job – not big news in the real BH, I imagine, but in the RHOBH it's cause for celebration. And why not? Kim has never entertained anyone not even us on this show so perhaps it's time for her to do some party hosting. Isn't that what these broads do with their spare time when they're not hiring lawyers because their girlfriends talk shit about them?
So anyway, Kim's having a re-done nose party (I hope she got a ton of cards that said: 'Congratulations on your re-done nose!'). She has this sweet little coffee bar set up and she's rocking a Mrs. Roper mumu as she swans around the pool. It was all very seventies. I've noticed a lot of what Splits and Kim do is circa seventies (hello… THE White Party, y'all!).
Speaking of Splits, she shows up towing along two adorable little girls and one orangey blob in a scarecrow wig. Yeah, Faye Resnick was there, but by the blessed gods of Bravo she barely spoke and stayed mainly off camera. Perhaps they wanted to keep the party focused on decent plastic surgery.
After Lisa recently shared, “She’s not a friend of mine and I wouldn’t [have] invited her,” Faye wants to extend her extra long fifteen minutesset the record straight. Speaking to Wetpaint, she whines, “I was asked exactly the same way the rest of the cast was to Lisa’s tea. Lisa knew I was coming, which is why there was a place setting for me and for Kim [Richards]. She acted like I ran in and stole Kim’s seat. That’s not true at all.”