If ever there was a reason to say no to a proposal, it was an autotune-botched warbling of a wannabe Taylor Swift. And that proposal came courtesy of Gretchen Rossi. But of course Slade Smiley, who has been practicing the trickling of a single tear in the mirror for weeks, did not say no. Oh no … HE said yes! And it was all over-acted to puke-fection.
So yeah, let's start there shall we with the Real Housewives of Orange County proposal that just went on and on and on and on. Phase One: Slade at work at his radio station pretending he has a job like doing things on the radio. I was always convinced he just put up some microphones in Gretchen's overly cluttered garage, but apparently Radio Slade is a for realz thing.
Slade's partner announces a new song. A voice, a voice like mystic magic floating over clouds of heaven comes soaring over the airways. 'That sound…' gasps Slade staring off into the distance. I think someone has been watching The Sound Of Music… That voice, that he does not recognize because even WITH heavily deployed autotune it still sounds flat, plastic, and phony as hell (not unlike its owner), is Gretchen. And that song is asking him to marry him.
Oh thank goodness Gretchen Rossi is making money off the uber romantical and so super special and intimate proposal song she (and a team of Bravo hired producers) wrote for Slade Smiley.
That's soooooooooo special, y'all. Like the most beyond special-ist thing ever! So yeah, if you want to own your own little piece of television's most loving moment like ever you can buy it on iTunes.
The audio for this stunning love ballad is below. And you can be assured that autotune has been heavily deployed, even though like Gretchen doesn't need it because Real Housewives of Orange County producers intentionally made her sound worse on the show, just like because they're mean and like hate her and stuff! Not at all because she can't actually sing…
Our favorite reality TV stars cannot get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to Twitter to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here's a roundup of some of our favorite photos from the Twitterverse this week! Enjoy!
In what can only be the most ridiculous accusation ever lobbed against Bravo, Slade Smiley is accusing the network of doctoring audio footage to make Gretchen Rossi's singing sound worse than it really is!
On this week's episode of Real Housewives of Orange CountyGretchen unleashed a torrent of yowling cats upon us as she gushed about recording a special song for Slade that doubled as a proposal. While everyone in the viewing public covered their ears and hid for cover, Gretchen yammered about how Slade loves her singing.
Well, Slade claims he loves Gretchen's like for realz singing but not the stuff we see on TV! "WHAT is with the Editors that they always make it look like the worst singing ever??" a fan asked Slade on twitter. His response: "sad but its Bravo's formula. They go out if their way to alter the audio. Sucks right!"
In her Bravo blog, Lydia discusses returning from the Great White North to a sense of normalcy. She writes, "Coming off of the girls trip to Canada, it was good to get back to our normal routines. This episode really showed all of our personal lives rather then our relationships with one another. . .and I kind of liked that." You know, of all these women, I think Lydia is the only one who truly does enjoy being normal and drama-free!
You know, I have mad respect for how hard the ladies of the housewives' franchise work. When they aren't filming drama-licious episodes, they are on a constant media tour, touting their products, and giving a whirlwind of interviews. Of course, we all know that no housewife is on her game more than Real Housewives of New Jersey'sTeresa Giudice, and you have to give her mad respect for that!
Speaking to Out In Jersey, Tre dishes on everything from her favorite dishes (what a segue!) to her family dramz. Of her latest cookbook Fabulicious On The Grill, Teresa opines, "It's really refreshing right?! This book is all about eating clean, and exercising of course. You are what you eat, people need to get that by now," adding, "I've been exercising for the past two seasons and it's been great, they really go hand in hand. I cook the way you see in the book, simple and easy, and always with fresh ingredients. That's really what people need to understand, it doesn't have to be fancy. You can make a great meal with fresh and simple ingredients."
Teresa also reveals that she's always had a passion for cooking, and she hopes that her girls will share her love of all things culinary. She says, "I'm first generation Italian, it's definitely what I love to do. The cooking, the cleaning, all of the traditional things like that, like the old days. I really think that the new generation loses that, and it's really important. Those are the things that were instilled in me, like keeping a good house and having old school values. I want my daughters to do these things for their families, which is what really inspired me to do the books. It's a memoir for my daughters to have for the future."
SeeHeather Dubrow is like all actress-y and important-y and stuff and she was gifted with a premiere role on the show. And then low and behold Gretchen Rossi was maybe possibly potentially called about a guest spot that was then canceled from a now canceled show. Ya follow?
Anyway Gretchen is all shades of bleached and miffed that Heather doesn't think she's special enough to be on HER show, so she sent her a snarky text telling her that. I mean, allegedly. And, of course, it depends on who you ask. So we've heard Gretchen's side of the story, now let's hear Heather's!
"I was pretty disappointed to see Gretchen read my text message to Slade with that rude "sing songy" voice," Heather writes. "It was interesting to me that she neglected to mention that I was answering HER question in that text," Heather begins.