Alexis Bellino…she'd be one of my favorites on Real Housewives of Orange County if she just wasn't so wishy-washy. While she's inadvertently hilarious with her one-liners and her sometimes holier than thou attitude, I feel like Alexis is finally learning the ropes. Latch onto the Alpha…and do it better than Gretchen Rossi did! We all know that Alexis has forged a deep friendship (at least in her naive and misguided mind) with Vicki Gunvalson, and she's convinced it's the real deal. Did she not watch the seasons before she started on RHOC? I do feel that Alexis tries her best to be genuine, and I hope for her sake that she is able to stay on Vicki's good side!
Of course, as she learns how to play the Bravo game, Alexis is also learning how to keep the media buzzing. Will she or won't she? Alexis is staying mum about whether she'll be returning for another season of RHOC. This all sounds strangely reminiscent, doesn't it?
If you're not watching Tamra's OC Wedding (and chances are, you're not), you still can't get away from it! Tamra Barney, the self-proclaimed "hottest housewife," is banking on that determination while sharing more about her wedding planning insanity…namely why frenemies Gretchen Rossi and Alexis Bellino made an appearance at her big day. Duh! Paycheck by Bravo!
Speaking to the Wet Paint, Tamra shares why she chose Heather Dubrow and Vicki Gunvalson as bridesmaids, saying, "Heather and I are really close. We have been from the minute we met each other. Vicki and I go up and down, but we always seem to make up. I couldn’t imagine her not being up there with me."
After the bachelor party hijinks, Tamra figures the best way to continue emasculating her future husband with dance lessons. Tamra shouldn't be dancing. To be honest, I went to get a yogurt during this scene and didn't feel like reliving it so I plowed forward.
Later, Tamra is going to shop for bridesmaids dresses, and Vicki Gunvalson is a no show. Heather Dubrow and Ricky (and some other Bravo extra) are joining her, and Heather realizes she shouldn't be surprised that Tamra doesn't know the difference between blush, cream, ivory, and buff. Who cares? Tamra has plenty of time to find her perfect bridesmaids' dresses. The wedding is two weeks away, which is like an eternity in Bravo-land. The limo pulls up to the elite boutique, and Tamra has flashbacks of her many tequila-soaked vacays to Tijuana. Refusing to get out of the car, Tamra calls Diann screaming about the hideous thrift store. Thankfully, Diann is a bitch-whisperer and she's able to calm Tamra with coos of pricier frocks from the poor woman in the extended stay who designed for Alexis Couture. Thank goodness!
Despite the revelations that aired in the RHOC Secrets Revealed episode (namely that toothless Greek god is real!) Vicki said her summer was great and that she returned to Greece! She did, huh? Not to shell out for more dental procedures but on an insurance trip with Briana Culberson and her grandson Troy.
We all suspected the friendship between Tamra Barney and Gretchen Rossi was as fake as the rhinestone bracelet Gretchen bestowed upon Tamra. Cause yeah, now these two are a big ol' bust!
Promoting the hell out of her limited spinoff event, Tamra's OC Wedding, Tamra is trashing Gretchen in the media just like the good ole days. Among the lists of slights and infractions she has carefully documented in her iPhone notes is that Gretchen didn't get her a wedding present and was fake crying at the reunion.
"Gretchen brought me nothing," Tamradishes to OK! when asked what kind of wedding present a Housewife is worthy of. The answer: any gift. "Who doesn’t bring a gift or at least a congratulations card?" Tamra seethes. The answer: Gretchen. Or a Housewife that is only at your wedding for contractual obligations. Or possibly a Housewife whose spinoff opportunity you "stole"…
So, third time's the charm for Tamra Barney? I guess she'll be the judge…literally! Last night was the first installment of Tamra's OC Wedding limited series, and Eddie better hope his recent legal woes don't break the bank…because Tamra's wedding is definitely going to leave a mark on his account! Three dresses, a wild bachelor party, and drama galore later, we know that Tami and Ed do make it down the aisle.
It's been Tamra's dream to get married at the St. Regis, and a cancellation is about to make that happen. Tamra has enlisted celebrity wedding planner Diane Valentine. She did Usher's wedding, y'all! As they tour the venue with Diane and her man of honor, Tamra is beyond ready for her big day.
Back at the couple's gym, Eddie is channeling his inner Shaun T. Tamra reveals that they have an opening at the St. Regis…in five weeks. Eddie can't understand why they need a giant production after they've both already been married. Tamra whines that she's never had a big wedding, and she deserves it! After all, she's already practiced twice.
Princess Heather Dubrow, most esteemed actress of all times (back off Meryl Streep) took a break from Academy Award winning sitcom guesties to blog about that other thing she does in her spare time outside of winning like all the Tonys in all the world: Real Housewives of Orange County.
On the heels of the final installment of the reunion, in which Vicki Gunvalson got the frizz put back in her professionally straightened hair as she was forced to confront all the lameness that is Brooks Ayers, Heather gives her comments on the emotional season and what she hopes is to come.
"I felt differently this year at the reunion. No longer the 'new girl' I have now formed real relationships with these women and am invested in them," Heatherbegins. And with real friendships comes real ammunition!