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Gretchen Rossi

Recently it came to our snooping, gossip-loving attention that Brooks Ayers may not be the repentant former deadbeat dad he proclaims to be on Real Housewives of Orange County!

We got wind of some information on gossip sleuth Lisa Lovelace’s Facebook page that insinuates that Brooks may be a very different person than he claims to be. Allegedly, of course. A woman named Nicolette, who claims to be the mother of Brooks’ youngest son, took to posting about her ex-boyfriend and she had some not so nice things to say about his ways!

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I’ll have to admit that I, unlike Slade Smiley, left the O.C. for a while.  Oh, I still watched (like one of Pavlov’s dogs when the first few tings of the theme music begins), but I was indifferent to it.  Lauri Waring was gone.  A once biting but funny Tamra Barney became just down right mean, ladies whose names I can’t even remember (Quinn who?) and women whose faces didn’t move were shuffled in and out, and, well, Slade stayed.  I was tired.  But then something amazing happened in the form of this season.

I’m not going to give all the credit to Dr. and Mrs. Disgustingly Rich and Fabulous but Incredibly Normal Dubrow (aka Heather), although they deserve a bunch.  This season on Real Housewives of Orange County, I’ve got Briana Culberson giving hell to her mom’s love tank and affirmation hoarding beau.  My hilariously crass, semi-trashy, rhinestone-studded Tamra is back with a vengeance, and–even better–she’s friends with a kooky Gretchen Rossi.  Minus a few extras (and even Jesus Barbie brings at least one laugh an episode), the show is actually fun again.  But I digress.  Let’s dish deets on the wedding ceremony of one of my current favorite housewives, Briana.  Okay, so technically she’s the daughter of a housewife, but she’s now more of one than her mom!

Briana and mom Vicki Gunvalson spoke with Star/RadarOnline.com about Briana’s big day…which was a long time coming for Vicki.  Viewers are watching weekly the relationship between Briana and Vicki get increasingly tense after Briana and supposed boyfriend Ryan Culberson drop the bomb that they got hitched in Vegas at a drive-thru wedding chapel.

Vicki tells the magazine, “My anger and my disappointment at what Briana did almost destroyed our relationship.  We didn’t speak for two months. But time heals, and our relationship is stronger than ever.”

Briana agrees, “My mom has been amazing. It’s been really fun planning the wedding with her and just having her by my side.”

The ceremony took place on May 12 at the Bacara Resort and Spa in Santa Barbara.  The bride wore a gown of Italian lace and carried a bouquet of roses as the pair read their vows at sunset.  Missing from the guest list?  Vicki’s castmates.  She explains, “[I]t had to be about Briana and Ryan. It is not my party.”

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Us Weekly‘s annual Hot Bodies issue is out on newsstands and just who found themselves the recipient of such title but three of our Housewives friends!

Gretchen, Melissa, and Alexis all got together to talk being hot and how they stay that way while posing as fifties housewives in cute retro swimsuits. All the ladies are in their thirties – and they look phenomenal – photoshop or no!

About her appearance Alexis Bellino, who has admitted to struggling with an eating disorder in the past and has had several surgical enhancements says: “I’m done picking myself apart. Life’s too short to spend another month recovering.” Did I hear this correctly – Jesus Barbie is over plastic surgery?! Well, I guess hell does freeze over.

Alexis also shares that she’s over obsessing about what she eats. “I won’t give up red wine, chocolate, or carbs.” Say whatever you want about ol’ Lex, but she looks fantastic for three kids and eating carbohydrates.

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It’s that time again! The Summer By Bravo trailer. This time it’s Olympics themed and awesome. Frankly, I can’t think of anything I love more than the Olympics and Bravo… so yeah, aces on that one Andy Cohen! Competing to the beat of Madonna’s Superstar, the Bravolebrities are out in droves; each one hoping to win the gold medal in famewhoring!

Below is the Bravo-lympics starring Teresa Giudice (but no Melissa Gorga), Jeff Lewis & the gang, and Patti Sanger (I know.. I’m bummed too!). Plus, NeNe Leakes, Pinot Singer, Kyle Richards in a tipsy wine race!

Also making an appearance was Brad Goreski, amidst rumors that his show has been canceled! Surprisingly NOT present was Bethenny Frankel. Hmmm…wonder what that means!

Anyway, Enjoy!

ARE YOU PSYCHED!? WHO GETS THE GOLD MEDAL FOR BIGGEST FAMEWHORE?

CONTINUE READING FOR THE SUMMER BY BRAVO TRAILER!

Last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County was all about the things we do for love. Some women finally change their name after a decade of marriage, some women overlook grifting opportunists because they bring her coffee, and some women… well they’ll just leave their man alone from 10-2 everyday so he can pretend to do stuff. Love is a powerful thing, but equally powerful is denial. I feel like Heather Dubrow needs to start teaching a class about how to have an adult relationship.

The other thing that happened was the sort of not so epic Tamra Barney vs. Alexis Bellino showdown. T’was sort of, I dunno, meh… and predictable.

Ok, so we begin with Brooks Ayers descending upon Vicki Gunvalson‘s office with of all things Starbucks. Blessed Starbucks. Hey, I’m a girl who loves her coffee and I wouldn’t throw a man out the door for bringing me lattes he bought on my credit card.

Shockingly Brooks was only bearing breakfast, not a folder full of Hallmark cards. Remember those wallets everyone’s dad used to have before smartphones and iPads – the ones with the flip out photo holder? I think Brooks has one full of affirmations and inspirational quote cards. Need a lift, I’ve got good tidings to go! I bet he just whips them out whenever Vicki starts asking too many questions.

Vicki tells Mr. Hallmark about the fight with Briana Culberson, including that Briana called him an opportunist. Brooks starts rambling on about how Briana has truth, her truth and I can see him straining to remember that Joel Osteen segment on being the best you you can be. Truthfully though, I think Brooks handled it well. Vicki doesn’t understand why Briana is upset, after all she’s always been the perfect mother! Yep – she said that.

Naturally, Vicki thinks Briana has daddy issues because of her father and Donn. I wonder if Briana has daddy issues or mommy issues? Vicki cries that she is tired of her life being under construction, she just wants her life to be finished product. Are these two perfect for each other or what? Love tanks, construction zones, what’s next? A garden analogy?

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If you were watching last week’s Real Housewives of Orange County, you know there was an quite the jaw dropping scene, and I’m not talking about Alexis Bellino’s birthday speech.  Vicki Gunvalson and newlywed daughter Briana Culberson got into quite the war of words regarding Vicki’s new beau Brooks Ayers and Briana’s new husband Ryan…you know, the guy who took Vicki’s one and only daughter to a drive-thru wedding chapel.  She just can’t get over that, can she?  Briana even goes as far as saying that her mother was having an emotional affair with Brooks while still married to Donn.  Vicki discusses the fight in this week’s Bravo blog:

When I was in Briana’s condo having this terribly heated discussion with her, I knew no matter what I said, I wasn’t going to convince her to accept Brooks and I dating. For that matter, no matter what she said was not going to convince me that marrying Ryan so quickly was the best decision either. I believe no matter who I was dating, she would have reacted the same way. It wasn’t Brooks in particular; it was me dating in general.

What you didn’t see is I left her home in tears, and just sat in the street and prayed, cried, and prayed some more. I realized it was not the end of the world if my daughter does not like the man I am dating.

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Well that was certainly shocking wasn’t it? Last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County had it all. There were princesses, and puppies, and inappropriately placed speeches, and engagement rings, and diarrhea, and luxury bathrooms where champagne happened but diarrhea did not, and trains, and surgery, and there was also that fight where Briana Culberson called Vicki Gunvalson out on having an emotional affair. Yeah – so how ’bout that bombshell? Whew… I’m still speechless!

So where do we begin with these fine orange specimens of botoxed, bleached glory? Oh, yes we start at the Barbie-ests of them all’s house – Princess Alexis von Nosenjob Boobersmidts Tannorexia of Rent-a-mcmansions (aka Alexis Bellino) She’s a stunning example of a queenly and dignified life. Princess Von Boobersmidts is on the precipice of the entertainment event of the year. The grand gala of puppies and princesses. A ball where all the fairest, and grandest, and “wealthiest” come from miles around. Descending down the steps of their giant SUVs covered in glitter and filled with fillers. Oh, it’s an event to say the least.

Yes, Alexis is throwing a princess puppy party for her four-year-old twin daughters Melania and McKenna. Alexis has assistants and party planners and movers shuffling around giant ornate over-stuffed hideous rent-a-couches in order to make room for the bevvy of puppies that will be dropped onto the scene the next morning. In the middle of all of this our very busy princess takes a break for a statelyevening ritual… spray tanning. She’s so busy, but a lady is nothing without her orange glow.

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Judging from the turnout for the launch of his new book, I don’t think Andy Cohen is “over” his Housewives.

Andy’s new book “Most Talkative: Stories From the Front Lines of Pop Culture” released this week and he celebrated in style – with all of his favorite Bravolebrity BFFs and his mom, Evelyn (seen above)!

Among the reality stars in attendance at the SUR Lounge: Brad Goreski, Alexis Bellino, Gretchen Rossi, Slade Smiley, Dimitri Charalambopoulos, Camille Grammer, Kathy Griffin, Jenni Pulos, Heather Dubrow, Taylor Armstrong, Asa Soltan Rahmati, Mercedes “MJ” Javid, Reza Farahan, Patti Stanger, Brandi Glanville, Kathy Hilton, Kyle Richards, Lisa Vanderpump, Adrienne Maloof, Paul Nassif, Mike Shouhed and more!

And of course, it wouldn’t be a true Bravo event without some drama! Tamara Tattles got some juicy behind-the-scenes gossip – including rumors that many of the Housewives weren’t invited, despite Andy claiming they were ALL included. Also, Taylor Armstrong was reportedly enjoying the free booze – shocking, we know! You can get the rest of the dish here.

[Photo credit: FayesVision/WENN]

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