Sometimes you see things on TV that are straight up embarrassing. Case in point: The ladies of Real Housewives of Orange County on last night’s reunion. I may just go ahead on record and call this the most vitriolic reunion ever. Am I crazy?
Some things should be kept private – or at least off camera – but never underestimate the power of a desperate and delusional blonde!
Tmara Barney and Gretchen Rossi continued their reign as the over-the-hill trainwreck Barbies – and both their weaves had to come from the Barbie Comes To Life Wig Collection, sold exclusively in the Sunday morning coupon section of your local newspaper.
I assumed Heather Dubrow was brought on to inject a dose of class into this mess? Mission failed.
Alright, kiddos – sit down, get your Orange County oranges spiked with some champagne, and join us. We’ve got some Real Housewives of Orange County drama to report. Hot on the heels of a massively popular reunion – ratings wise, at least – the girls are still defending themselves in the press.
According to LALate News over 2.5M people tuned in to watch the ladies scream at each other while Andy Cohen got attacked by a bird. How’s that for pecking order?
First up, Slave Smiley took a break from running Grayson Entertainment to give an interview to Wetpaint. I hope he got compensated for it – he has child support to pay. Among the many scintillating details Slave revealed, the in-the-know and very busy working professional disclosed that Bravo is in the midst of making some changes to the cast!
Reunions often descend into a contest of who is the worst of the bunch. And this one was no exception. When the level of vitriol reaches the extreme harpy stage – it’s time to recast. We’re waiting, Andy Cohen…
Last night on Real Housewives of Orange County no one redeemed themselves or came across as a grown woman. Does it ever happen that way? Gretchen Rossi and Tamra Barney are took their Over-The-Hill Barbie act on the road and switched hair for the day. I think Tamra got her wig from the Dolly Parton synthetic collection on QVC. They also wore the same color dress. Was it an act of solidarity?
Whomever did Tamra‘s make up should be fired, because she looked 55 trying to look 45. Not cute.
Also, what was up with Heather Dubrow‘s eyebrows? Girl, the botox needs to stop and don’t try to play it off as a tweezer malfunction. We know you had unsupervised alone time with Terry’s botox collection after a couple glasses of wine. Besides, don’t rich girls wax, not tweeze?
I also have to comment on Heather‘s country music star circa 1994 hair. This is a good lesson – do not let Gretchen style your hair, ladies! Or choose your dress.
And apparently he’s putting his foot down. After all, he wears the pants in that relationship! Even if they aren’t paid for yet. According to WetPaint, Jim was overheard complaining about RHOC while attending fellow Bravolebrity Patti Stanger‘s birthday party.
“No more reality for Alexis,” attendees heard Jim loudly announce more than once. Did Alexis ever have reality? I didn’t think so.
Well, Slade is again protesting against reports that he is a jobless deadbeat dad! Speaking to WetPaint, Slave says the allegations hurt his feelings and simply aren’t true.
“I was in real estate,” Slade says of his career pre-Housewives, “I was technically a consultant.” But NOW, oh but NOW, he runs Grayson Entertainment, a company which puts together endorsement deals for celebrities. Doesn’t he mean puts together endorsement deals for ONE pseudo-celebrity who goes by the stage name of Gretchen Christine?
Jim Bellino is nobody’s fool. Wait… what did I just write?! Anyway, he wears the big boy pants – and he wants Bravo to know it! The most detested of the Real Housewives of Orange County husbands is setting the record straight on Tuesday’s season finale party – and apparently not only did Terry Dubrow invite him to the party; Jim has the texts to prove it. Danggit Jim, don’t you go making me like you now!
In addition to Jim calling Terry out, Alexis Bellino is taking Queen Chesire CatHeather Dubrow and her fellow Housewives to task for pretending thatSarah Winchester, cake destroyer extraordinaire, was an uninvited guest. Like, duh, Sarah was, like, so for real invited by Bravo. I bet they even told her to wear that $3 Pretty Woman reject hooker dress!
Deep in the middle of Real Housewives of Orange County, it was a beautiful clear night overlooking the Pacific Ocean. It could have been the setting from a movie, but instead it was real-ish life. And from Heather Dubrow‘s palatial lawn stars dotted the sky of what should have been a perfect evening. Sadly, an evil eye had befallen the enchanted party and instead of an evening of friendship, love and celebration – it was one recriminations, accusations, and petty slights.
‘Perhaps the drinks flowed too abundantly?’ Heather thought to herself. ‘Perhaps I was too liberal with the invitations?’ she pondered. But then she remembered, she had sold her soul; let it all slip away and now Bravo owned her – they owned her home, her celebrations, and even her name. Well, at least for next couple years. Oh, well might as well make the best of it. Champs for all!
Last week there were issues over a bow. Some loose ends were left untied and Sarah Winterchester, the faux-heiress (who left her holler for the wilds of Orange County), was being shown the door at this exclusive party. Sarah began to realize the Xanax in her purse was a bad idea (OK, I made that part up). Also a bad idea – letting herself be talked into attending a party where she was out of her element, nervous as hell, and wearing the dress she bought at the adult superstore on Sunset. All in all, mistakes were made and she would suffer for them. One can escape the trailer park, but never really escape the trailer park. Just ask Tamra!