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Gretchen Rossi

If you think we are done discussing the asinine bowling alley fight from last week’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County, we aren’t. And if you think that Heather Dubrow is ever going to live down her comments that the Orange County dining scene is not to her liking (too many carbs, maybe?), you’re wrong about that, too.
Heather has dared the viewers to give her better suggestions, and then she’ll eat anything you ask: “With YOUR help, I intend to seek out and review local restaurants in an attempt to find the little gems that we have here that I have not been introduced to. SHOW ME. Then, I will eat CROW… or pig’s feet, tripe, sweetbreads or whatever it is the restaurant specializes in.”

Heather insists Sarah Winchester wasn’t even supposed to be there. In her blog, she writes, “First of all: for the record I did not invite Sarah to the party.”

That’s probably true. The producers invited Sarah, who probably thought she would bring more to the table. I get the impression the producers are trying to make this show younger since the whole “cougar” trend is kinda done. Anyway, Sarah did go, got totally trashed and followed Vicki Gunvalson around. Vicki needs to take a lesson from Camille Grammar and go hide in the bathroom in these moments.

In Heather’s words:

Sarah puts a nuclear hit on the evening! She is yelling at Vicki for NO reason and then is hugely delusional about how she approached her. I tried to diffuse the situation . She wouldn’t listen to me or her boyfriend or Gretchen. This girl is nuts. I may need to screen Gretchen’s friends for her! She is too nice to be friends with such a “wackadoodle” as G would say!

I thought Vicki handled it very well. Sarah couldn’t let it go. She was on a hamster wheel going round and round and round.

Heather thinks Sarah has issues, ending her discussion about her with this: “I hope this opens Sarah’s eyes to the fact that she obviously has a problem. She needs to seek professional help.” Embarrassing yourself on television isn’t yet recognized by the DSM, but maybe Sarah can start.
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The Real Housewives of Orange County were on Dr. Oz recently, to talk about the one topic they are definitely experts on: plastic surgery! On last week’s episode, Tamra Barney removed her implants once and for all, and as we all know, Alexis Bellino is the first woman in the world to ever get a nose job. She must be commended for bravery!

Vicki Gunvalson, who just had a ton of work done in between the past two seasons, admitted to having “…a myriad of fillers, Botox, liposuction, and laser treatments” to In Touch Magazine. And that’s just what she’s fessing up to! On Dr. Oz, Tamra said “I’m sure we’re not owning everything we’ve had.” Along with 98% of women in Orange County, she had a nose job in her early twenties. Of her implant removal, she said, “I wanted the foreign object out of my body.” Funny, she said the same thing at her divorce proceedings from Simon!

Tamra also revealed that she had been diagnosed with cervical cancer, and that was a huge factor in her decision to get rid of the implants. Good for you, Tammy Sue! Tamra’s story arc has been so great: ridding herself of Simon, and then getting rid of the implants the men in her life love so much; standing up for herself and putting her own needs before men.

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On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County, Tamra Barney got her titties (not to be confused with tits) reduced, Vicki Gunvalson ran like the devil from a white trash harlot itching for a fight. Gretchen Rossi‘s singing caused me to pause the television so I could belly laugh for approximately five minutes. And Heather Dubrow hosted a bowling party … which got quite dramatic.

Things start out with our fair maiden Tamra visiting the manor atop a hill overlooking the sea. No this isn’t Once Upon A Time, it’s still RHOC and Tamra is merely visiting Heather‘s house. She muses about the view while gulping over the sheer abundance. See, unlike the ladies of RHOBH Tamra isn’t used to such opulence or actual wealth.

Heather calms Tammie Sue down by pouring wine down her throat and then announces she is hosting a bowling and champs party. Except champs is pronounced shamps. Heather finds this to be a clever thing to do and is quite amused with herself for coming up with another unconventional party to keep the ladies on their toes. She loves mixing the up with the down and the fun with the irregular – like taking a helicopter to LA for the day, for instance. She cited that as an actual example.

Heather reveals her true motivation is not to show off her quirky, yet classy, party planning techniques but to get the girls together to mend fences. And there went the class she was anticipating – out the window, over the cliffs, and right on into the Pacific. Maybe some lifeguard will pick it up down in Juarez (if the ocean current even runs that way – geography eludes me).

Tamra gulps back her wine, smiles a tense smile, and comments that, like, Vicki and Gretchen kind of hate each other. Heather smiles, nods, and is like ‘duh, that’s the point!’ in response. Heather has the oddest smile doesn’t she? It’s like the Chesire Cat grin with no teeth? I’m not the only one seeing this, am I? Maybe I shouldn’t drink wine and watch HW?

One other small snafu – Tamra will not be able to attend. She’s getting her titties reduced that week and will be out for the count. No bowling and champers for this girl. Too bad, cause I bet Tammie Sue had a mean strike back in ’85 when she was the hook-up queen of BFE, Idaho or wherever she’s from. All big hair and bigger balls. But not quite those big bazoonkas – those came later when she became the hook-up queen of ’98 in Orange County.

Tamra and Heather talk Brooks Ayers and Vicki. Tamra, proving she’s a good friend, is worried for Vicki because she thinks Brooks is a little like a shark who smells blood in the water and is swooping in for the kill. He senses that Vicki is vulnerable and tired of her love tank running on fumes, so he’s saying anything in his power to sweet talk the little rich desperada.

Proving just that, Brooks and Vicki do lunch and he opens the date with a card. Is this man keeping Hallmark in business or what? Does Vicki need a storage unit to house all those affirmations? Does she have a special box devoted to the cards that reassure her she does not look like Miss Piggy? Vicki says Brooks wants to move here, but is worried about leaving his children behind.

Anyway, Vicki and Brooks talk their love and it’s gross and I’m glad I wasn’t eating alongside them cause I would have surely asked for a doggybag and high tailed it out of there. Then Brooks asks Vicki what assets she’s getting in the divorce from Donn. That was so awkward. You know Bravo forced him to bring that up. She’s getting the big house, the house Jeana sold her that has tanked in value because Slave‘s stuff was hogging up the garage for close to a decade, and her retirement fund. Donn gets the beach house. And the dog.

Vicki tells us their love is a beautiful, fun ride down a winding scenic road and she is so thrilled that all her tanks are full. ALL her tanks? Is she the Starship Enterprise? She has reserve fuel now? Then she admits Brooks has access to all her accounts – email, banking, off-shore savings, whatever. A fun ride indeed – Vicki’s bank account is about to be as empty as her love tank. She loves that Brooks is romantical, unlike Donn who didn’t blow the mortgage payment on greeting cards. Loser. Tamra is right – this reeks of disaster!

Heather completes a Housewives rite of passage – the speakerphone invitation. Alexis can’t come ’cause she can’t bend over due to her nose job recovery. And Gretchen‘s voicemail insists you call Slave if you want to get a hold of her. So, lemme get this straight – Slave doesn’t work for Gretch, yet he fields her calls and deals with all her requests? Cause that sounds like what a personal assistant does? Is he her Slaveretary?

Alexis Bellino can’t bend over, but she can embarrass herself on the news. Seriously – was this Fox5′s idea of a practical joke? She does her make-up in the public restroom, then rushes out on stage and flubs one of the guest’s names. I kept waiting for her to mispronounce Adriana as areola or something. Then she kept interrupting the panel – which was on kids – and treating it as her own personal therapy session.

Surely this woman is not being paid? Alexis, proving that all the peroxide hair dying has destroyed the few brain cells she ever had, reveals that she wants her own show and she is, like, totally qualified because she took a journalism class in college. First of all – she went to college? AHA! AHA HA! Yeah, Not buying that! Second of all – remember all that stuff that was supposedly removed from her sinuses? I’m pretty sure those were actually her three remaining brain cells.

And all roads apparently lead to delusion tonight, because Gretchen is in the car with Slave driving to a voice coach for her Pussycat Dolls Appearance. Didn’t you know – they’re like a world-renowned dance troupe? Anyway, she’s on the phone telling someone that she strained her vocal chords screaming at Vicki and they’ve never recovered.

At the voice lesson she cannot even muster a chord. Nor is she allowed to speak to the vocal coach because Slave keeps interrupting to explain that Gretchen shouldn’t talk cause she’s straining her voice. Who else thinks he’s just trying to shut her up? Seriously – both of them please play the silent game. For the rest of the season.

Then Gretch starts practicing her scales. And all I can say is that vocal coach’s facial expressions made last night’s episode all worth it for me. That “singing” was like an American Idol reject audition. Oh, holy it was bad. Worse than bad. It was … wow – I don’t have words.

Alexis and her king do dinner. It’s date night! So Jim Bellino ruins it by telling Alexis her job is pathetic and she should basically stay at home in rent-a-mcmansion of the week and wash dishes. Right after Alexis gets done talking about how proud she is that she helped provide for her family in a bad economy while Jim’s scamming suffered and how she is so happy they could work together; Jim reminds her that when they married they became the same flesh. Except her half of the flesh does a lot of cleaning and not a lot of bread-winning.

He then tells her that while Alexis Couture is still pretty much a joke, it can stay if she continues running it from the basement, but Fox 5 needs to go. According to him Alexis only agreed to do it because she has a hard time telling people no. Clearly she would rather be at home hard-boiling eggs. Alexis is furious and retaliates by savagely chomping her poor french fry.

Oh Jim. Remember when you swore that you were not going to appear on camera because this show made you look bad? Well, perhaps you should revisit that proclamation because once again you are looking like a misogynistic ass. Although, a part of me believes he just wants Alexis to save herself the embarrassment of further faux newscastering. Good lord – she is awful! Maybe it was goodness and kindness and love that made him tell her to quit. Or maybe he was mortified by her weekly news cameltoe and cleavage display.

Poor Alexis squeakingly admits in her ITM that she doesn’t want to be a stay-at-home mom anymore. Then she looks around to check if Jim is lurking behind her eavesdropping. You make that money girl – you need it to pay for the divorce attorney!

Tammie Sue is getting her old titties yanked out in exchange for some natural-sized boobies. She’s nervous as heck, but it’s sure as hell better than keeping the boobs Simon forced her to get. I like her style. She can wrap up the old implants and send them to Simon for Christmas. Eddie has serious concerns about these new so-called small boobs, but Tamra is resolved.

And reason no 6,476 why I wouldn’t be on a reality show: being contractually obligated to participate in post-op filming. <<shudder>> After calling Vicki, who is too busy raising money to pay for Donn‘s alimony and Brooks‘ child support working, here comes Gretchy, sucking up. Gretchen could come ’cause she has no job to speak of. I thought she wasn’t allowed to talk? She reapplies Tamra’s lipgloss, which is apparently more necessary than water, and whips out a bottle of Penis Tequila.

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Well, oh my. In what is another case of reality being more interesting than reality TV, it seems Gretchen Rossi‘s never-ending court battle with alleged ex-boyfriend Jay Photoglou will now be involving her Real Housewives of Orange County co-stars!

Here’s the backstory: Gretchen joined RHOC as the supposed fiancé of millionaire Jeff Beitzel, who was suffering from leukemia. Jeff passed away shortly after filming ended in 2008. Jay allegedly contacted Tamra Barney to spill the news that Gretchen was lying about her relationship to Jeff and using him to be on the show meanwhile he, Jay, was her real boyfriend! Whoopsie! Tamra confronted Gretchen, which began their seasons long feud.

Gretchen attempted to file a restraining order against Jay, but it was summarily dismissed. Thus began the long drawn-out court battle between Jay and Gretchen over defamation, etc. Gretchen was supposed to pay all of Jay’s legal fees after she lost her court case against him. He retaliated with a defamation lawsuit, and she filed a countersuit.

Well, finally Gretchen and Jay will be facing-off in a civil trial that could get very interesting! The National Enquirer (a more reliable source than you’d think) is reporting that Jay’s attorneys recently deposed Gretchen and she changed her story about when she allegedly met Jay.

CLICK HERE TO SEE PHOTOS OF GRETCHEN AND JAY!

Gretchen had previously claimed he was a “family friend” and they briefly dated before Jeff entered the picture.  “Jay Photoglou is nothing more than a thief and liar. Jay and I had a short-lived relationship BEFORE Jeff and I dated,” she said of the situation way back in 2009.

During the deposition, Gretchen also admitted that she “spent time with Jay on at least four separate occasions after she got engaged to her now-deceased fiance.” When the attorneys sought more information she refused to answer further. Just so you know, multiple photos of Jay and Gretchen from that time period are floating around the web – damn that trusty time stamp – including ones that show them hanging out with Alexis and Jim Bellino!

Which brings us to the reason the ladies of RHOC will likely be involved in the civil suit. Jay is planning to subpoena several of Gretchen’s former and current castmates to testify against her, concerning when she met Jay and the type of relationship they shared! On the short list is: Tamra, Peggy Tanous, Lynne Curtain, and guess who? Alexis!

“No matter what, Gretchen is not going to like it when her fellow housewives have to spill the beans about her relationship with Jay Photoglou,” said an insider reveals. “I’m sure no matter what they say, it won’t help Gretchen’s case.” I’m not sure why Gretchen continues to pretend she is innocent in all of this – it’s ridiculous!

What’s interesting about this situation is that Alexis was formerly one of Gretchen’s closest friends, but she has since defected! After a tension-filled season where Alexis openly admitted she is unhappy about Gretchen’s newly burgeoning friendship with Tamra;  Jesus Barbie is now speaking out about her new friendship with Vicki Gunvalson!

“Vicki and I have finally turned over a new leaf. We’ve started hanging out outside of the show, which has been nice,” Alexis shares with WetPaint. “I would say I’m cautiously optimistic about it.”

Alexis adds that it’s difficult for her to get past some of the negative things Vicki has said about her in the past, but she wants to think happy thoughts. “I try not to dwell on it,” she explains. “I want to live in the moment and give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I think, back when Vicki said all those things about me, she was in a really unhappy place. Now, she’s happy again and in a better place and so far, we’re getting along just fine.”

Proving this friendship is indeed real, Vicki recently tweeted a photo of them at an event. The photo is below!

While, Alexis and Vicki have made amends, and Tamra and Gretchen are now BFF, there’s two people who just can’t see eye-to-eye: Gretchen and Vicki! Gretchen recently spoke out saying she doesn’t “respect” Vicki and has no interest in a relationship with her. And HollywoodLife reveals that things have evolved into a full-fledged feud!

“There’s a feud between Gretchen and Vicki,” the source says. “And Vicki and Alexis are bonding over it. They are also both visibly annoyed about Gretchen and Tamra’s new friendship.” Things are so acrimonious, Gretchen intentionally skipped Vicki’s recent 50th birthday party, which was attended by all of her other castmates!

And finally, Vicki is doing what she does best – talking about herself! In a new interview with US Weekly, Vicki shares her secrets to longevity as a Housewife!

“Number one, I’m the original; Number 2, I’ve allowed the cameras to enter all parts, all facets of my life; and I signed up for this!;” Vicki believes these are the reasons she’s lasted seven seasons on the show. She said her approach to filming is, “This is my reality — come on in through all the issues and struggles and trials — and good times!”

Vicki also adds that things get pretty testy with Tamra as the season goes on – including an epic fight in the season finale where their friendship faces the ultimate test. Things are good between the two now. “We were able to mend the fences and kinda get through it,” she says. “Will I ever forget? uh-huh.”  Juicy! I wonder what happened!?

You can watch the video of Vicki talking RHOC below!

THOUGHTS ON GRETCHEN AND JAY’S LATEST COURT BATTLE? WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON? IS ALEXIS’ FRIENDSHIP WITH ALEXIS AUTHENTIC? SURPRISED VICKI AND TAMRA HAD SUCH SERIOUS ISSUES?

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On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County the ladies got to mudslinging, only this time it involved actual mud for a change! In other news, Tamra Barney is officially divorced and Vicki Gunvalson is officially the most insecure fifty-year-old I’ve ever encountered. Oh, and Alexis Bellino revealed her new nose, which we’ve already seen 10,000 times before, so that was no big whoo-hoo.

Things start out with the Queen of the OC and resident class act, Heather Dubrow taking her husband shopping. Apparently, this is What Not To Wear, the Dr. Dubrow edition. Sadly, Stacy London and Clinton Kelly did not appear with a bevy of secret footage and a red trash can. Hopefully they’re saving that for Vicki, but I digress.

Terry does need a make-over and hopefully David Austin, world’s greatest clothier in all the world will help him – for a cool $50k. “You’re gonna look mmmaaaavalous!;” Heather purs; prying Terry’s wallet from his shaking hands with a malicious glint in her eye. Terry will no longer embarrass his perfect wife at cocktail parties with his outmoded and pedestrian appearance. Oh no – there is a new Terry in town and this one has both black and white tie attire!

I must admit – it’s nice to see some old-school traditional HW action of spending ostentatious amounts of money and actually being able afford it. We hope… . If they declare bankruptcy next year, we’ll know they’ve been struck by the Teresa Giudice curse!

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Slade Smiley continues to believe that ex-girlfriend Michelle Arroyo is behind the red carpet attack he was subjected to last week over unpaid child support for son Grayson. And he blames this whole child support debacle on a certain co-star of his girlfriend!

Slade is furious that despite court documents and mugshots, people are making things up about his child support issues and he blames the show! “There are serious repercussions [for] the individuals who say things in the show,” Slade fumed to The Huffington Post. “People accuse me of not paying child support for my cancer-stricken son … This year, the women that said that apologized for it, but the damage has been done and it can be a very difficult space to navigate.” I’m assuming he’s talking about Tamra Barney exposing his child support dilemmas on air.

Gretchen Rossi is sympathetic to Slade’s plight, being the brunt of Tamra’s attacks herself. “Obviously, when Tamra accused me of cheating on my dying fiancé, that was harsh.”

Here is just the very thing; if Slade doesn’t want people talking about him, and knowing all his business, and making accusations against him then perhaps he should leave reality TV. Oh, what am I saying…

And hilariously, Slade insists that he doesn’t consider himself or Gretchen celebs! That’s a sentiment of his I completely agree with. “We don’t like to think that we are celebrities, because it is very fleeting,” he explained earlier of appearing on Real Housewives of Orange County with Gretchen. “But it does allow us to expose some of the business ventures that have come of this.”

“If you are the star of the show, you are probably a hot mess,” Gretchen added. “Think about it! They are flipping tables and pulling wigs.” Or, not paying child support, or getting arrested, or being the subject of lawsuits and restraining orders, and refusing to stay out of the public eye even though their life is a disaster…

THOUGHTS ON SLADE’S STATEMENT THAT TAMRA’S ON-AIR COMMENTS CAUSED HIS CHILD SUPPORT WOES TO BE MADE PUBLIC? SHOULD SLADE LEAVE REALITY TELEVISION?

Just in case you thought Slade Smiley couldn’t get any worse than being a hundred thousand dollars remiss on child support owed to his extremely ill son, Slade is now accusing his ex-girlfriend Michelle Arroyo of hiring the bill collector that attacked him on the red carpet last week. Just typing this sentence makes my blood boil!

Speaking to TMZ, Slade’s attorney directly accuses Michelle of being behind the incident! “It appears this whole thing was staged and created by Miss Arroyo who is obviously looking for attention.” That’s a bit rich coming from Slade, Mr. Reality Whore, himself!

“Slade is not a deadbeat dad and is making timely payments,” his attorney adds. “We will be looking into this further and if Miss Arroyo did hire these clowns to harass Slade we will exercise all our rights including a restraining order if necessary.” Oh, please!

Michelle has very seldom spoken out against Slade and has very rarely made any negative comments about his invisible style of parenting. Michelle even went to bat for Slade after said incident, confirming that the back support amount Slade owes for their son Grayson had been reduced to $95,000 and that Slade has been keeping up with the current payments of $775.00 per month.

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Serve up some free drinks and watch a billion fifteen reality stars flock to the red carpet!

Gretchen Rossi, Teresa Giudice, Brandi Glanville, Kyle Richards, Jon Gosselin, Aubrey O’Day, Courtney Robertson, Ben Flajnik, Renee Graziano, Ali Fedotowsky, DeAnna Pappas, Maksim Chmerkovskiy, Val Chmerkovskiy, Anita Gohari, and Ashley Hebert attended the ‘Night of a Billion Reality Stars’, hosted by Svedka Vodka at the Supperclub in Hollywood.

Courtney and Ben made sure to tacky up the place with heavy PDA. No doubt it was an attempt to make sure we know they’re for real. Nothing says ‘we found love on a reality show’ like massive amounts of making out on a red carpet for the world to see.

In other interesting nauseating news from that night: ‘Reformed’ famewhorer Jon Gosselin gave several interviews, sharing how much he loves living in the middle of the woods and leading a simple life.

He told Access Hollywood: “It just wasn’t for me in the end. I’ve been working 9 to 5, I’m a network engineer at a local IT company right by [my] kids’ house. I have a house in the woods. I do no normal things.”

Normal things, like attending red carpet Hollywood events.  Simple, indeed.

Jon says that he and ex-wife, Kate Gosselin (who I would’ve expected to see at this event before Jon), are co-parenting the best way two fame-obsessed parents can.  “We’re doing our best to co-parent.  Sometimes we argue, obviously, so we have our differences in parenting and in life in general, but we only do what we can handle.”

And word to the ladies, this dad-of-the-year is single and ready to mingle: “I’m dating and just taking things slow. I’m a country boy from Pennsylvania.”

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