Immediately we are transported to a deep underground tunnel of despair where Tamra is sitting at the head of the table deliberating over can stay and who can go. Lucky Alexis was plucked from group and exiled. Her angel wings spread and her golden halo glowed as she floated above the riff-raff into the parking lot. Gretchen Rossi clapped with glee as if the heathens were being eaten by lions in the Colosseum.
Lydia scampered after her; jumping on Starlite and flying towards the Tunnel of Light. Don't let them rob you of a colorful world! I would have taken off my shoes, hitched up my maxi dress, and ran screaming from that den of horrors up the delivery van loading dock and right into the limo to start guzzling champagne from the bottle.
Since it was Vicki who brought Alexis we were treated to several segments of Tarma complaining about Vicki forcing her to allow Alexis to destroy their presence with her fakeness. Anyway, Vicki says she just wanted to bring unity to the divided group.
"My intentions were 'pure' and I had no ill intent inviting Alexis," Vickiwrites in her Bravo blog. "I feel terrible that it ended up the way it did. In hindsight, I might have done things differently if I knew what the outcome would be."
In fact Gretchen has even been spotted on numerous occasions wearing an engagement ring that looks eerily similar to the one she allegedly just received from Slave this month! Even more interesting is that Gretchen's ring looks eerily similar to Slade's former fiance Jo de la Rosa's ring. More on that below. But first have the Real Housewives of Orange County stars been lying about being engaged for years? We think so!
Yesterday a source informed us that Gretchen and Slade attended the RHOC season 6 wrap party and announced they were engaged. And Gretchen was wearing a canary diamond engagement ring. Photo proof below!
Aaaahhh… that saga that is Gretchen Rossi and Slade Smiley's timeless love. A redeeming and inspiring story of two people, who against all odds, found themselves through reality television and showed us that everlasting love can endure. Scoot over Romeo & Juliette!
The Real Housewives of Orange County stars are finally engaged now that Slave isn't over $100,000 remiss in child support payments and Gretchen showed her approval by proposing to him. Now isn't that so modern of her! The lovebirds share their proposal story – and photos of their rings – with Life & Style where Gretchen says her proposal took 4 months of persuading Bravo to film it planning.
I'm just going to put this out there – and y'all can slam me in the comments, freak out and call me biased, blow up my inbox with complaints, whatever – but taking a cue from the ladies of Real Housewives of Orange County, I'm about to be a megabitch and I don't care. So here it is: I cannot stand Gretchen Rossi. Not for one. more. minute. It feels so good to get that off my chest!
I've often felt that all the Real Housewives, no matter how obnoxious and annoying have some redeeming benefits. For instance, I find Tamra Barney largely repulsive, but she's often funny and when she sets aside her jealousies, she can be a lot of fun.
Vicki Gunvalson is self-absorbed, neurotic, and annoying but she has a good heart underneath it all – we all know this – and she's never afraid to put her crazy out there to be judged and dissected, which I can respect. Alexis Bellino is dumb as a box of Dyeables shoes and equally as tacky, but she's also a nice woman who genuinely seems to care about her friends and family, plus she's always doing something goofball enough to laugh at.
In short, it's looking like we may be forced to sit through twoReal Housewives of Orange County wedding spectaculars. Unless they go the soap opera route and do a double wedding, which for my sanity I hope is the case.
Don't worry. The whole scenario was allegedly caught on film by Bravo's ever-present cameras, so you'll get to see the awkwardness and requisite emasculation in the comfort of your own living room. Before I catch any slack, I don't think that a woman proposing is emasculating…it's just so cringe-worthy to see how Gretchen usually treats Slade. Now that we've cleared up that potential miscommunication, let's get on to the good stuff!
On last night's episode of Real Housewives of Orange County we met new girl Lydia McLaughlin. Lydia's kinda like Rainbow Bright on acid, isn't she? She also sort of looks like a Bratz doll. She was bringing all my 1990's childhood cartoon flashbacks to life with her little squeakerton voice and her goofball expressions. Whatever – I fully expect her to go SheRah Princess of Power on these bitches before the season's over. Watch it blondies!
Things begin, oh where did they begin? With all the bad dye jobs and bad plastic surgery blurring together sometimes I lose track of where things even started. And speaking of plastic surgery things began with Vicki Gunvalson and Alexis Bellino. She and Vicki are BFF now since everyone hates their significant others and what better way is there to bond, I s'pose? I mean it worked for Alexis and Gretchen Rossi for two seasons, so Vicki picked up where Gretchen participated in a gang intervention. And girls who share plastic surgeons together, stay together!